Chapter Three
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of the characters/actors therein.
Kurt giggled to himself as he prepared Judy for her next photo shoot. He'd made a special trip to Richard's thrift store and nearly spent all of his monthly shoe allowance on mini-sized furniture and accessories. When he handed over his credit card, he momentarily thought the joke might have gone too far. But this was the most fun Kurt had since he started at Dalton.
It was so straight laced. Everyone followed the rules. It was just so boring. A knock at his door interrupted his thoughts.
"Can I come in?" Blaine's gelled back coiffure peaked into his room.
Kurt quickly threw a towel over his project. "What's up?"
"I wanted to talk to you about this vendetta you have going with Wes."
"I don't have a vendetta with Wes."
"You kidnapped Judy!"
"I thought we discussed this already. Judy is an inanimate object and therefore cannot be kidnapped."
"See that is what I'm taking about. You never actually deny it."
"Blaine what is the real issue here?"
"Wes is going to kick you out of the Warblers if you don't give back Judy."
"Right. And you care because?"
"Because you need the Warblers."
"No Blaine, I really don't."
"Wha-at?"
"Did I stutter?" Okay that was really bitchy even for him. "Sorry. That was really bitchy. Blaine do you remember what you told me after I was rejected after my solo?"
"That you shouldn't try so hard?"
"Right. You know the thing I most proud of is my willingness to stand out from a crowd. I don't want to be just one of the Warblers. Someone that sways in the background and looks upon you adoringly as you sing all the solos. I was given a voice. And my voice was not meant to sing third chair flute."
"I thought you liked being a Warbler."
Kurt felt really bad about the stunned, hurt expression marring Blaine's face. "Blaine I like to sing. What I do with the Warblers is not singing. It's swaying."
"I don't pick who gets the solos Kurt."
"I know you don't but you don't ever turn them down either. Do you know how many beautiful voices are in the Warblers? Why don't we ever get to hear anyone else? Why does anyone ever even try out if they don't have a chance at getting a solo? It's all very convoluted."
"Why don't you just quit then?"
Was that a genuine Blaine pout? Wow. Kurt was tempted to fan himself. "I like spending time with you." The reluctant smile that Blaine gave him was worth the confession. "And truth be told torturing Wes is more fun than I've has since leaving McKinley."
Blaine chocked on a combination laugh snort that sent Kurt into a giggling fit that almost landed him on the floor. "You should have seen his face when he got the pride picture. I thought he was having a seizure."
"So do you still want to talk me out of torturing Wes or would you like to join the dark side?"
"The dark side…really?"
"Finn and Puck were over here and made me watch Episode IV with them."
"Han Solo was one of my first man crushes."
"I was always kind of preferable to Luke."
"So what song were you going to sing tomorrow? And where the hell did you find a mini Budweiser can?"
Kurt sang along with his Chicago soundtrack all the way to Dalton. He didn't care if people were staring at him at every stop light. He was happy and just enjoyed himself. Who would have thought that torturing someone could be so fun. No wonder the jocks at school were relentless. Of course his fun hadn't hurt anyone. He might even give Judy back…but probably not. Maybe he could bequeath her to an incoming Freshman when he graduated. How funny would it be to send Wes a risqué picture of his gavel twenty years from now?
Hopefully he had worked out his timing perfectly. Wes should get the next picture of Judy right after his impromptu performance. Blaine was going to play is straight man (pun intended) and look upon his performance disapprovingly. Kurt was surprised how devious Blaine could be when he wasn't trying to be a proper dapper Dalton gentleman.
He had a really wicked sense of humor. Kurt liked to think it was because of years of being repressed by Dalton. He helped Kurt with Judy's outfit and stage design. This was going to even better than the sequin gown. He even helped with Kurt's song choice. Gives You Hell was a great choice but Rachel had sang that to Finn and there was no way in hell he would follow in her footsteps.
Kurt used the remote on the boom box as he burst into the room. Every eye watched him strut towards the Warblers' table.
No, you're never gonna get it
Never ever gonna get it
No, you're never gonna get it
Never ever gonna get it
The majority of the Warblers jumped up and joined in a spontaneous jam session in the dining hall. Kurt skipped over to where Wes was sitting stiffly in his chair.
No, you're never gonna get it
Never ever gonna get it
No, you're never gonna get it
Never ever gonna get it
Kurt blew Wes a kiss as he danced away from the irritated teen. Sashaying over to his new boyfriend Kurt serenaded Blaine. But remained close so he could sing the chorus to Wes
I remember how it used to be
You never was this nice, you can't fool me
Now you talkin' like you made a change
The more you talk, the more things sound the same
What makes you think you can just walk back into her life
Without a good fight? Oh...
I just sit back and watch you make a fool of yourself
Cuz you're just wasting your time, oh...
Kurt jumped on the table a la Blaine and sang Wes and Thad.
No, you're never gonna get it
Never ever gonna get it
No, you're never gonna get it
Never ever gonna get it
No, you're never gonna get it
Never ever gonna get it
No, you're never gonna get it
Never ever gonna get it
Turning his attention back to Blaine, he shimmied his shoulders and dipped down close to Blaine's face as if he was going to kiss him before he backed off. Blaine wasn't much of a covert operative. If Kurt didn't already know how the other boy felt, he would now as the lust was written all over the other boy's face. Kurt smiled wildly as he realized his shoulder shake had a side benefit of him wiggling his butt in Wes' face.
Now you promise me the moon and stars
Save your breath, you won't get very far
Gave you many chances to make change
The only thing you changed was love to hate
It doesn't matter what you do or what you say
She doesn't love you, no way
Maybe next time you'll give your woman a little respect
So you won't be hearing her say, "No way"
Doesn't matter what you do or what you say
She don't love you, no way
Maybe next time you'll give your woman a little respect
So you won't be hearing her say, "No way"
Turning around for his last chorus, he sang with gusto.
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never gonna get it, never gonna get it
Never get it
The apocalyptic sound of applause was interrupted by the facebook notification of a new picture on Wes' website. Several of the Warblers navigated to the site to find a picture of Judy wearing cut off daisy dukes, a halter and pigtails. She was surrounded by crushed Budweiser cans and a message: Gluttony.
A/N: So what will Wes do to Kurt for all this torture. You'll have to tune back in to find out. Muh ha ha ha.