WHEN DO MY STORIES END CHAPTER 2
Chapter 2: What Hurts the Most

"Why don't you go back to where you came from and hang with your little dopey friends?" Shadow broke the awkwardness with his fierce voice.

I looked back at him from the window and quickly tried to think of a remark, "Really, I come up here to see you, and all you can do is stand there and refuse to listen to me?" I stomped up to him and glared at him the best I could, staring at him face to face. He was a bit taller than me, but that didn't matter because Shadow's life and health was on the line. I didn't even know how Shadow was living up here. I didn't even know if there was any food up here. If there was...I didn't think I would even touch them since they've been in the fridge for decades. "Seriously, you have no idea how much you've put your friend, Rouge, into. She's in a state of sick worry because of you and your attitude! Trust me, I know because I went to see her before I came to see you. Y'know—"

"Ah," Shadow broke, "so she did tell you what I was up to..."

"Well, yeah," I immediately agreed. I honestly had no idea what that had to do with what I was talking about, but I was determined to make Shadow live a better life. Somewhere where he would feel most comfortable. I would be lucky enough if I was able to force him, but he would probably beat me up for that. Still, he deserves so much more for what he's done for this planet. He's a hero, and I would look up to him, if I wasn't gifted with speed...forget that thought I couldn't do anything without my speed. I love to run, and that's, that. "But that's not the point here!" Okay, maybe that was more for me since my thoughts were getting off topic, but Shadow went ahead and broke another one of my train of arguments.

"I guess she didn't tell you everything."

"Huh?" I became silently confused by the time he had mentioned that I didn't know everything as to why he decided to stay on the ARK. I don't get it. When did he think he had the right to keep me from knowing what he was doing? Chaos, I'm having a headache because of all this thinking, and frustration, and growing worry for Shadow. I need him to answer all of my possible questions popping in my head. Then again, there's a chance that I'll have more questions to ask him.

"You see, Faker, I saved this planet twice now, right?" my dark friend queried, but I didn't answer. It was as if Shadow was reading my mind because he began to explain... I think. "So, there is no need for me to take out any more controversial disasters. You can take care of the rest after me. You're a bigger hero than me after all. You won't be needing me because you have your friends to count on and support you."

"Uh, so you save this planet and then disappear like nothing happened, then you worry your own friends to death? That's just sick! Even for you, I never expected you to stoop this low. What's next, you're going to commit suicide?" I didn't really care what I was spitting out of my mouth. But the last part was supposed to be a joke, a meaningless tease. Just listening to him talk riled me up enough. I didn't like to see him this way—I have to admit—but he's just being stupid for doing this to himself in the first place, and I don't even know if Shadow knows that what he's doing is just...stupid.I've said this a million times, and I'll probably say it a million times more. Sometimes, I wonder if he even checked how he looked in the mirror at all. Does the ARK even have mirrors?

"What's the point in doing that? Even if I do go that far, you will be the only one who would try to stop me," Shadow spat back turning away from me with hands frustratingly placed on his sides.

"You know, you're must be pretty stupid for doing something like this," I stated bluntly. Then I slightly flinched expecting a bark or hit from Shadow, but nothing came, so I continued to stand where I was curiously staring at Shadow's back.

Seconds ticked and Shadow turned his head to look back at me. He looked at me like he was serious or planning something devious—I wasn't sure. But he looked like he meant business, and he wasn't going to be joking around with me. It was kind of creepy the way he was looking at me. His blood-red eyes seemed to be dull for a moment. "Since you brought that thought up, why don't you kill me instead? Nobody would have to know, and you wouldn't have to worry about me anymore, especially Rouge."

The next thing I knew, he pulls out a gun from within his quills and holds it out for me; he wanted me to take it.

"WHOA!" I instantly jumped back. Seriously, I jumped back. I kind of hit the giant window sill on the way too, but I panicked like there was no tomorrow. To tell the truth, I'm terrified of those things, except for water guns and when I'm dodging their range of fire because I like teasing Death, but holding guns? No! I'll be too terrified to pull the trigger!

Heheh, funny how a hero like me could be terrified of holding guns, let alone firing'em. It's just not my fighting style. Speaking of which, I just remembered reading some article that one gun would blow your hand off if you "accidentally" set off the fuse for the bullets or something on a revolver. Anyway...I'm not going to shoot Shadow!

"Y-You expect me to kill you? Hey, I'm the hero! I'm supposed to prevent that from happening to you!" I shouted. What, in Chaos' name, is going through Shadow's head? I came here to let him know that his friends are terribly worried for him, and he decides that it would be okay to just kill himself without even saying a goodbye. The only twisted thing about his plans is the fact that he's going to have the hero do the killing. I can't even reason with him, especially when I mentioned his best friend. I thought Shadow was more logical than this. The Shadow I knew was supposed to be stubborn, smart, fast, confident, strong, proud of his own powers and abilities and completely, completely anti-social, and why did I just name all that stuff without a problem?

Other than taking a chance to listen to my words, Shadow ignores me completely and advances toward me with his gun in still hand. I was beginning to panic. He really wanted to go through with this. He took a hold of my hand and placed the gun in it. I lightly blushed because he was holding my hand, but then the other side of me—that was stronger—was panicking because I was holding a gun and was about to be forced to shoot a dear friend. I didn't want to do this. I'm completely terrified of weapons. I wanted to drop it right then and there, but Shadow wouldn't let go of my hand. I looked up at him, and he looked at me. He had no signs of fear...at all. I couldn't be able to decipher what he was feeling because his eyes were lifeless it was scaring me a bit.

"Shadow, you can't be serious!" I shouted. I was panicking and thought that I was going to draw near to hyperventilating. I wanted to run away, but I couldn't because I was too scared to move my legs thinking that I'd accidentally pull the trigger and shoot Shadow.

"But I am," Shadow whispered not looking at me but at the gun. He didn't even seem to notice my fear of weapons although I mentioned that I wasn't too fond of them when we were saving the Earth from the invasion of the Black Arms. He went ahead and took my finger and wrapped it around the trigger. Sweat was starting to form around my forehead and my hand—the one holding the gun—and my glove wasn't even helping with the situation either, drawing more sweat. I had no doubt that Shadow was able to feel the heat rising from my hand too, but, knowing him, he didn't want to comment. He was really going to force Sonic the Hedgehog to shoot him.

He took one look at me, staring at me, my eyes. For sure, he was able to sense the fear I was going through right now, and I felt pathetic for being in this situation. It's just so out of character for me! Anyway, Shadow didn't even give a second thought about what was going to happen to him. He took my hand that was holding the gun and pressed it chest against it.

Once it was positioned, I could tell how much he wanted to die because he was clutching my hand ever so tightly. I was scared. For my life...and his. I didn't want to do this in the first place. So many lives were lost at the metal shells of a gun, and I didn't want to remember losing Shadow to the deadly weapon especially when I am the one holding it.

"Go ahead...shoot me," Shadow whispered into my ear. "I am an easy target Faker...and always was..."

I was beginning to feel awkward because he was invading my personal space, but it felt warm...and awkward. I felt his other arm wrap around me. I was guessing he didn't want me getting away since I was a slippery thing—as usual, but this was getting out of hand, I didn't want this, and it just didn't feel right. I struggled to get out of his grip. I tried to wriggle myself out from his grasp. He had a tight hold on me, then I had no choice but to knee him in the groin. That worked. His reaction was the same as any other guy. Bent over, hands pressed in between their legs, but Shadow didn't fall to the floor. He was angry but didn't return the favor. He just gave me his trademark death glare while trying to ease the pain.

"I'm not going to shoot you, Shadow!" I looked down at him. I was really disappointed in him. Wouldn't Maria feel the same? I didn't think Maria would like the thought of her childhood friend dying like this. I know I wouldn't...

Shadow straightened himself, recovering from the impact and looked at me, "Hmph, I knew you'd say that."

I relaxed a bit from the tension and apologetically looked at him. I threw the gun behind me and walked up to him, "C'mon Shadow, let's forget about all this and just...come back to us. You know you're better than this. You're stronger and independent if you leave—"

"I'm not leaving!" Shadow shouted. He was looking at me with anger and sadness visible in his eyes.

"But...why?" I couldn't stop myself before asking that because I was beginning to have a second thought that maybe he shouldn't tell me why.

"Because...I promised myself I wouldn't," Shadow argued back. His eyes were burning. He was actually going with his word? "And you're not going to change that, I'm going to stay here...locked up like I should be..."

I heard something break. Was it glass or was it my heart? Something had to break to make me feel so...hurt, angry and sad for that damned hedgehog. Reasoning with him won't work, just like what Rouge had said. Shadow is talking to someone he would rather kill. Could I really be the one who could knock some sense back into him, but I feel as though I've already failed once I laid my foot on to the space colony.

"Well, I was hoping you would come down because...I really did like racing and fighting with you. I started to wonder why I liked to do these activities with you, and I came up with the thought that maybe you were the only one who would match, or outmatch, me," my voice was raspy, and I seemed quiet. I didn't know what was happening. "And I still wished that we could be close friends, I was hoping to get to know you more, to be able to help you. I wanted to be there for you as much as I could, and I wanted to prove to you that I'm not like those "pathetic" humans. I am just as much different from them as you are to the humans. Even GUN wanted to hunt me down when I first made my appearance as a hedgehog traveling at supersonic speed. They would even go as far as to hurting my friends! You should know by now that I can't leave anybody along! I have to save someone, or I'll lose my sanity. Ever since I heard that you were staying up here, I wanted to do something to convince you to not stay up here any longer. Your new family, your true friends, they want you to feel better. I know we don't know you very well, and I don't know if the others want to. But I'm certain, that I want to know more about you, so I could understand you better Shadow. So I could help you heal, make you feel better, and..."

I took a deep breath. My tears were coming loose. My hands were clenching. I could even feel my nails pinching through the cloth of my gloves and poking my skin. I was shuddering, just by tiny bit. Then, I continued where I left off, "Instead...I come up here to find out that you would rather be dead."

There was a long silence in the room, and I didn't know if I told him what I really wanted for him. I told him everything, didn't I? Did I say too much, or too little? Was it worth it? Was it clear enough? Will he change his mind? I listened intently for his answer. For any response. I didn't care. Even a hit to the head would be acceptable, I just needed something to help me confirm that he heard every...single...word I said.

He didn't say anything.

He just stood right in front of me and looked at me. Stare at me with his cold eyes. Cold...empty eyes. I wondered what it would look like if my friends and I were able to restore the life he once had in those red eyes. I wanted to see him come alive and be happy, but he's being complicated and won't even give me a chance to help him. Sometimes I wondered if he ever wanted a life.

Yes. He did, but he wanted it with his dear friend, Maria. Could it be that he wanted to spend his life up here because Maria wasn't down there? What does he want, other than to end his life? Oh how much I wanted to be able to make him happy for once in his life. I guessed I could never be a match for his friend. I should give her credit... I could never be able to compete with her... But...

He needs someone.

He wants someone.

Someone to stay by his side.

Someone who would take care of him and understand him.

He just doesn't know it.

Do I know what he needs? Do I even know what to do to get what he needs? Am I good enough?

I dropped to my knees. My hands clapped against the metal floor. "Shadow, why won't you answer me?" I screamed. Logically, to the floor, but I was directing it to Shadow. I didn't want to look up to see his reaction to my despair. He wouldn't even feel sympathy for me. He said that everytime we met, everytime I offered to be his friend. He didn't feel for me, especially me. "Damn it Shadow! Stop being the jackass you are and say something!" I continued. "Can't you see that I need you?"

...

Rethinking what I just said, I realized I spilled something that wasn't supposed to come out of my mouth. The last part was way out of line! I overdid it, but whatever I said rang true; I couldn't do everything by myself. Without my friends, I would be hopeless...probably even vulnerable. I would have nothing to fight for. I would think that sometimes when I feel that I've failed; I'm so pathetic, I know. I wonder what Shadow thought of me—other than an "imposter". I was scared, but I needed some kind of reaction. At the same time, I didn't. It felt more like I was staring at someone who had died and was haunting me. A ghost who wouldn't leave me alone. A ghost who continuously sought for my help and that was definitely Shadow, but he wouldn't say it in person.

I intently watched Shadow from where I kneeled. He stood there, like a statue. There was no sign of surprise—or anything—on his face, nothing that I could detect. I didn't know what to think. Would he change is mind, or will he stay here for the rest of his life? I just didn't like the way he kept his dark, blank crimson eyes glued on me. He wants me gone. He doesn't want me to be a part of his life, and that's all he could ever say about me. Never wanting me to do anything and everything in his life, but he never came to my face and said that to me. I just wanted to help him, and he just keeps pushing me away. Was I really helping Shadow in the first place? What was it that kept me close to him but so far away?

"Go home hedgehog," my ears perked up at the sound of Shadow's voice. My eyes once again taking another glance of him, but I only got to see him turn his back to me without any sign of regret. Is that all he had to say? I expected the opposite. Am I listening right?

The next thing I knew, I began to cry...silently whimpering. I was at least a bit hopeful since I wasn't balling my eyes out and wailing like a new-born baby. My face was hidden in my hands. Shadow, on the other hand, didn't even come to comfort me. Instead, he took a step and walked away. He left me in this room to cry. I wandered to myself if he would give this a thought, and I bet he would because the last thing he witnessed was his long time rival...crying on his knees...on the ARK...for him.

XXXXXXX

I found myself Chaos Controlling back to my home. I dropped the emerald to the ground and crashed on the couch. My body just fell over the arm with my head diving into the cushions. I left myself in that position for awhile. To think I would leave the ARK with my head held high, but my pride had somehow...drastically dropped. I didn't even want to see Rouge. I didn't want her to be disappointed in me, and I know I couldn't hide things forever. Rouge is good at reading expressions. I actually thought that Shadow and Rouge were very close, like a family. They watched out for each other continuously. When Rouge was down in the dumps, Shadow would be there to save her; the same goes for Rouge as well, and I began to wonder how this relationship between him and Rouge ended though.

Then I heard a knock at the door, I was glad. I needed something to distract me from how I was feeling at the moment.

"Who is it?" I slowly lifted myself off from the couch and made my way to the door as if I was drunk or something. It seemed that way because I was swaying this way and that. Maybe it was because of the growing headache that was causing me to be really dizzy. I mean, I did just use Chaos Control, and I usually become dizzy.

"It's me, Tails! I've got to tell you something! Now hurry up before I freeze to death!" my little buddy came here to see me, and he sure did sound super excited, yet demanding. How quaint. Although, I wished he visited me another time—like when I'm not feeling so down.

Opening the door, I gave him the most sincere smile I could muster. "What's up buddy?" I asked. Though, right now, just seeing him might actually make the rest of my day. Shadow may have ruined my mood, but I can't always have one person ruin the day for me. There's always another day.

Tails quickly came in to my warm house sighing in complete relief then found my red emerald on the floor. He turned to me confusedly. I figured that Tails knew something was wrong. I wouldn't just come home and drop the emerald carelessly on the floor like that. Of course, he would see other things on the floor, but nothing as powerful as the Chaos Emerald. It was something that all bad guys and evil villains would do anything to get their hands on. "Sonic, what happened?" he asked walking over to the emerald and taking it off the ground and placing it on the table.

I closed the front door, not wanting the warm to escape the room, and walked back to the couch. I fell back onto the cushions and gave a big sigh. I didn't want to talk about it, and I knew that Tails wouldn't leave me alone until he got what he wanted to know. He's smart, and sometimes being too smart means getting a little nosey. I figured that out all by myself...thanks to Tails. Despite that, I didn't know if I wanted to tell Tails because he'll start worrying for me, maybe even for Shadow.

"Shadow..." I thought. His heart must be aching so much. Maria's death can't be the only reason why he's this way because he's been trying to get over her more than once. I was beginning to tear up at the thought of how he still clung to her reminiscence. I wonder how it felt to be lonely. I know I would go insane if my friends were killed that way. I felt my own heart starting to ache at those dark thoughts.

"So...are you going to tell me?" Tails asked with his arms crossed. He was getting impatient, but I was angry at him for pulling me out of my thoughts.

I sighed again, "Umm, why are you here again?"

"Sonic..." he groaned.

We looked at each other for what took like...forever but took only about a minute. Eventually he gave up, I was glad because I didn't have to deal with his nosiness anymore. I just waited for the news.

He sighed, "I was able to figure out where Eggman's hiding."

"Really? That's cool!" Being able to kick Eggman's butt really took my mind off of Shadow's situation. I was literally bouncing with joy on the sofa. "Where is he?"

Tails pressed a couple of buttons on his communicator and up came a holographic computer in mid-air. Then I prepared myself to listen to whatever Tails had to say. He started out by explaining some data he collected from the old computers—that were still functional—from one of Eggman's old bases and connected them to the rest of the information he'd collected from some of the maniac's other bases that I managed to destroy, but not completely. He pulled up several images and excerpts that I only had time to skim through a couple of them. He started to mention that the remaining functioning computers were able to locate Dr. Eggman, since they had a homing device on his whereabouts, supposedly the computers had his DNA. I asked Tails why they had Dr. Eggman's DNA, and he told me that they needed it so they could tell who it was entering and leaving the base.

There were some moments where I didn't understand the terms, so I just nodded for the heck of it. Tails knew that I wasn't really good at large scale vocabulary, but I was thankful enough that he broke it down a bit to the regular cocky, teenager English language. "I was also able to collect information on the security in Eggman's new base, and from what I managed to discover, it's full of high security," Tails finished up.

"Hah, that's never stopped me before," I retorted excitedly rubbing my finger under my nose. That has become a habit nowadays. I looked at Tails to find him worried. "What's wrong buddy?"

"W-Well Sonic, the security is more complicated this time. Eggman really wants to keep you out of his business, and it seems that he's going to do something big if he wants you to stay away this much," Tails informed. He looked at me. I bet he was hoping I would change my mind and give the mission a second thought, but I really wanted something to happen and this could be the only chance I could take advantage of.

I smiled my trademark smile, "No way am I taking this chance to skip out on all the fun, and if you don't want to come with me, that'd be okay! Just give me the info and I'll be on my way!"

Tails sighed and gave a small smile, "Sonic you know full well I'll be coming with you but watch yourself because it's going to be difficult to detect the traps that Eggman set up for you. For the most part, I'll be updating you on Eggman's base slower than usual, so you're going to have to navigate through his base on your own while I try to hack into his computer system to get the map of the place."