Yay yay yay, lots of questions! I'm bored like hell in here, and even tried to make a sculpture out of my own faeces (please don't ask)...
So let's skip the chit-chat and ignore the growing pile of laundry in the corner and let me answer some questions!
"Hn, I doubted that. You being way more awesome than me ? I delivered the Final Blow, The Final Blow, and sealed the Black Mage. My face has been on both the history book and the newspaper more than you could count. For once I agree with Emo boy of Ereve, your element is fucked up! Your sharks can't beat my wolves, and I got Lillin. Jealous ?
Anyway, here's a question for you:
Do you think it's odd that Cannon Shooter look 75% like me ?"
That was Aran... and yes, I am more awesome than you, and clearly you didn't do your job properly since the Black Unawesome Dude is back and tearing shit up in the Maple World? And you're hundreds of years old, which is definitely disgusting (to me at least)... And my element is not fucked up! It's freaking electro sharks, dude! How can you argue with green lightning fishes? And you can have Lilin, I have no interest in that cold and slightly scary girl...
Cannon Shooter looks like you? Seriously, I never noticed the similarities. I'm too awesome to take notice of my lowly serfs anyway, muahahahahahah~
(cough) Next up, a question by, uh, Irena!
"First, I don't even want to be here at the first place. I blame Oz for telling Mihile that I want to send you some question because she afraid he would slice you into half and make soup out of your precious sharks.
Second, I'm nobody's. Not even Neinheart can boss me around. Got it ?
Good.
1. I want to correct your answer to ThanhnuFia first. Neinheart's hair is light blue, not silvery white. And is he related to that blue haired girl in Rien island ?
2. How stupid are you to think that you get more woman than the rest of male Maplers ? Even the Cannon Shooter gets Aran's twin sister. Who did you hook up with ?
3. Your thought about Mercedes ? Is she a snobby queen?"
If you don't want to ask something then GTFO. J-Just kidding! Don't shoot me! I already have enough assholes without you making me several more, so please spare me...!
Neinheart can't boss you around? Sure he can't...
The strategist has light blue hair? I never noticed, but then, that's why I'm not an archer. I have no idea if he has any family, or if he cares, so ask someone else, okay? Oz probably knows, or ask Tru in Victoria Island to find out for you. Better yet, just ask them straight up, since I can't get out of this hellhole...
I get tons of females, Irena. Mihile has never been in a serious relationship and Eckhart is too emo to care – Aran is too old, Evan is too young, Phantom is too perverted, Crow and Starling are just... no thank you. So they all flock to me, attracted to my awesome charm. I'm surprised you can resist my irresistible awesomeness... but then, you are the famous Green Breeze of the Cygnus Knights, after all.
And... Cannon Shooter gets Aran's twin sister... what? Aran has a sister? TWIN sister? Not cool – since she would be over a hundred years old. Ew. Even I can't get it on with an old woman. Just... yuck.
Mercedes? I've never actually met her in person, but from the newspapers I think she's really hot. At least 36/80D, and she has awesome elvish charm and nice hair. Sadly I think she is still infatuated with Freud (at least that's what Aran told me the last time he visited) so I won't even try to compete with a dragon master who formed a pact with the KING of Onyx Dragons... And I don't know if she's snobby, but a woman that pretty probably is a little haughty, eh?
Next question~ from a Dual Blade (which one are you? I will hunt you down since Dual Blades are an illegal organization)...
"How dare you call yourself the awesome king of awesome. I am the awesome around here, got that mister not-so-awesome. You Thunder Breakers are sooooo lame! You call them knuckles weapons "of awesomeness"? We awesome dual blades have two weapons! Of awesomeness! Who else has two weapons? No-one i know!
Yours awesomely, Dual Blade
PS: If there's one thing i agree with is that Mihile has insufficient awesomeness to have his own job."
I am the awesome king of awesome. Deal with it. And my Thunder Breakers are almost as awesome as me, so you dual blades can fuck off to your little 'Secret Garden' (awesome Korean drama by the way) and jerk off in front of Syl. I don't care, since we will hunt you down. And two weapons? Both our fists have knuckle dusters, and we can shoot electro sharks baby! Beat that? All you can do is roll around, jump and slash and summon weird owl figures from the sky...
And yeah, Mihile is too un-awesome for his post. I'm trying to convince Cygnus to replace him with someone else, but that girl is too stubborn for her own good.
Speak of the devil and he will come knocking... here's a letter from Mihile.
"I'm getting my own class soon. You jealous?"
Wow, that was an incredibly long letter! And I'm gonna give you a long, detailed answer.
No.
NEXT!
"Dear mister Hawkeye.
Can I be awesome like you ? I mean, you got electric sharks and that makes you awesome, right ? I got a big bad dragon, does that make me awesome too ? Just like you ?
How old is miss Cygnus ? She looks kinda young to be an empress, don't you think ? And who is cooler, Mir or Shinsoo ?
And, um... How do I deal with annoying brother aka Utah who always make me do all the chores and make fun of me and make me call him "big brother" all the time ? Pa and Ma won't approve if I set him on fire. So what should I do?"
Of course you can't be as awesome as me, Evan! But you can try, though. And yes, my electric sharkies make me fawesome (only awesome people take the words 'fucking' and 'awesome' and merge them!) - your dragon is pretty cool, though? What the hell do you feed that thing? Small children?
And the Empress is no more than ten, I think. I never bothered to ask for her age, since all I need from her is to write some numbers on a pretty little cheque. Mir or Shinsoo... I choose Mir, since dragons are fawesome and big birds are just... meh. And you can deal with that brother of yours easily enough – here's my patented 'Awesomely Awesome Hawkeye's Awesome Get-Your-Awesome-Revenge Method'! Now with three times the awesome!
Dig a hole.
Capture some Evil Eyes and put them in there.
Starve them for a day, then throw in some pork along with Utah.
Profit!
He's mad if he messes with you after that! Now, the next letter is from... Armarda. Dunno who that is but WHATEVER!
"Hi there, Hawkeye! I got a series of questions for you. He! He! =D
1. How did you be part of the Commanders of Cygnus? (And please, no more answers about 'awesomeness' -_-")
2. Why did you like Oz so much?
3. Wait a minute! I thought you have K-Pop cancer! ?o_o?
4. If this question is written by one of Mihail's knight, would you gladly respond this question?
5. If this letter is written by one of Irine's follower (which is Me) but a fan of Mihail, would you gladly respond this question?
6. If this letter is written by one of the Black Magician followers, would you smash your computer immediately? XD"
I joined the knights when... wow, that was quite a while ago. And the test to select the chief knights is completely horrifying. I don't want to remember, as it might ruin my awesome mind, so just ask someone else (like, I think this Zephyr Overlord dude is writing a story about how we became the chief knights)...
Me... like... Oz? H-How could you s-say that! I have no special feelings t-towards her, so d-don't misunderstand! We're just v-very good friends and comrades, that's all, r-really...!
K-pop... cancer! I do like K-pop to the point of death, yes, but... cancer? What bastard could've wrote rubbish like that? I'm totally fit. Watch me flex my muscles~
If Mihile's knights wrote this... fuck you.
If a follower of Irena/fan of Mihile wrote this... well I've already answered this question, no point deleting this wall of text, eh?
If the Black Wings wrote this... I would trash this computer if it wasn't my main source of entertainment in this little place. Dammit...
Now, a letter from Mercedes. Gulp. The queen of elves herself...
"Hey, Dual Blade human! I have two weapon too! So therefore, I, Mercedes the elf queen, is awesome too. This title is, from now one, given to the royal blood only. So that means only I, the other four heroes and empress Cygnus is awesome.
Anyway, here's some question for the Hawkeye human.
1. Can you explain what's this human device I'm using. It's bigger than the palm of my hand and has something called "touch screen" and "a square in a round" button, quoted Aran. Young Evan seems to enjoy using it, but he's a kid so that doesn't count.
2. If what the human girl Oz said: that you get human girl's attention more than the other two male humans, is true, then explain to me why ? Do you own a golden ship with a lots of treasure from everywhere in the Maple worlds ? Do you have unique fighting style ? Befriend with the Onyx dragon king ? Fight along side with the last Onyx dragon ? If not, then you can't get my attention, which worth more than those human girl.
3. Tell your students whom empress Cygnus sent to protect my village to stop "hitting on" my people, especially Danika. Or else he'll "get an arrow to the knee", or however Phantom put it, from me."
Take that, Dual Blade scum!
Um, that device is probably an iPhone, one of the more sophisticated devices from our time. It's an awesome piece of tech, almost as awesomeas me in fact. Evan likes iPhones? Really? I wonder where he got one... not many farm boys I know can operate an iPhone.
I don't have a flying ship of treasure, I don't have a unique fighting style, I don't know any Onyx Dragon, or use two bowguns at the same time. However, I have the one-of-a-kind Hawkeye charm, and the awesome hair that people would kill to touch. I can make human girls faint with a wink, and I'm awesome. Awwwwwwesome. Some suggested that I must be royalty, and last year I was Maple's Most Eligible Bachelor. Care to give me a try, elf queen? :3
Oh goddess, arrow to the knee...? Not that meme again... PHANTOM WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Well, I can't stop them, since they all seem eager to become as awesome as me, so I guess you'll have to teach them the hard way. Go ahead and have fun! But... no arrows in knees though, otherwise they'll have to retire and tell everyone in Ereve "I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee."...
Whoo, that kept me busy thinking of suitable replies! Next up is a letter by... ThahnuFia, my first reviewer. Let's go!
"Hey there Hawkeye. Today question will be about K-pop (which your awesomeness can't beat my knowledge).
1. Which group has the most fan ?
2. Has the most anti-fan ?
3. Is tallest ? (Average height from all the member)
4. Has most fangirl ?
5. Has most fanboy ?
6. Name the first girlgroup you think of when you read these words. No repeat: Most fashion, elegant, cutest, most beautiful, most handsome, most talented, most famous, best voice, best songs.
7. Which group did Will. mention in his video on YouTube.
8. Who went to US tour with the Jonas brother ?
9. Which group do you like the most ?"
Due to safety reasons, I shall only answer questions number 6 and 9 – the last time I discussed K-pop on the internet, it ended up with two hundred pissed off fanboy warriors storming my house at 3 a.m and beating my sleeping body to a bloody pulp.
Girls' Generation. Nuff said. People may hate us but I'm being honest with you! Don't hate me just because I'm more awesome than you! Speaking of which, they recently had a concert in Ereve which ended... rather tragically. Just read the rest of Zephyr Overlord's Fever Beat! to find out.
Cough. Next up, a Buccaneer (oh, joy)...
"Hey Hawkeye, I've got a few questions.
't you stop shocking night walkers for a few days? My friend's already scared to go on his shift.
2. can you try to teach a few of your students to become atleast a bit stronger? I've already lost count of how many thunder breakers I've planted into the ground in a fist fight. I sware, I need to go to the Temple of time to get a real brawl, and those knights are EVIL. But they atleast put up a fight.
3. please stop trying to hit on for a while, it's for your own safety. I actually saw Valerie using a picture of yours as a target at the shooting range, muttering something about shooting you at point blank with the nautilus' entire artillery.
4. To cut down on your loss of soldiers, I suggest to teach them some manners towards women. The next time one of them harasses me, I'm not gonna stop at a thunder breaker's head sticking out of a parking lot with the rest of the body buried under it. If not, I suggest purchasing a few dozen coffins."
It's those damn night walkers' fault that I can't even take a step out of this stupid place. I've already completed Mass Effect 3 ten times over the past week... So they deserve it!
My knights are weak? Well, if you're a Buccaneer, chances are you are above level 120, and the max level of a knight is level 120. So you can probably take several of them on at once. You're always welcome to try and fight me, though! I have tied with Kyrin in a fight before, so let's see how you face my awesomeness...
Aww... So it seems Ms. Valerie has rejected my advances... And Kyrin too. Awwh damn. What a downer. Well there's always henta- uh, never mind...
Teaching pirates MANNERS? How am I supposed to do that? Now that I think about it, you're probably the most polite pirate I've met in a while. And don't worry, the coffins will be taken care of by the Empress. You, however, should prepare to run from the police.
Ow ow ow ow ow cramp...! Next question, by AliceDream!
"Question Time ~
1. Would you rather crash with Me and Pinkbean (Temple of Time, typically I live with Pinkbean,He tells me to go back to leafre to train Lvl 111 :D) Horntail, Mushmom, Von leon, Or Zakum?
2. Did you know that one of the three portal in the temple of time will take you to the future, where you see everything in it's certain doom, ... I didn't say anything about certain doom Okay
3. I'm asian so I eat sharks :3 What do you think now?
4. J-pop or K-pop?
5. Do you like the Temple of time's Main Back ground music?
6. Which Hero do you like the most?
7. Are you really that awsome?
8. If you're that great then go challenge Aran himself, I dare you too, :D"
You live... with Pink Bean? And I thought Manji was weird... I'd stay with Mushmom, she'd be a tasty snack and a nice pillow.
Future? What future? In the future, we'll probably spank the Black Mage so badly he'll run home crying for his mother and fuck off to wherever he came from. And... you eat shark fin soup? Hey, it's bad for the environment, and sharks are becoming increasingly rare after the recent increase in Cold Shark hunting parties! Lay off on the fishies for a while, will ya?
Teh K-POP FOR3VER LOLOLLOOOLOL!11!1!1!
Temple of Time's background music? Oh, so that's why I always see those ghosts floating around carrying instruments... Yes, I do. I particularly like the one titled 'Repentance'...
I like Evan the most, since he's a nice little kid. He's not as snobby as the rest tend to be. After him would be Phantom, I guess – the rest are just plain mean to me... TT_TT
And yes, for the umpteenth time, I. Am. Awesome. Nuff said.
Challenge Aran! Why, that's an excellent idea! I might even get my ass landed in jail! Seriously though, the Erevian Council keep close watch over him. It's hard to be able to legally fight him, and he's already sent enough people to the hospital, so no thanks.
Wow... that's a lot of questions _! Well, I'm off to play Skyrim now. See you around, over and out!