Here is Chapter Five of "Love's Trial." As always, please heed the warnings and don't read if you might be offended (Sesshomaru has a potty mouth in this chapter). And, because I have to say it, I don't own Inuyasha or anything even remotely connected to it ;) (I also neither own nor have any rights to The Portrait of a Lady, Daisy Miller, or Henry James). Enjoy!
X
Sesshomaru sighed inaudibly as he pulled out his keys and unlocked the front door; it had been a long day. He let himself in and then headed towards the kitchen, led by the comforting smell of cooking food. The now immaculate kitchen (courtesy of Kagome's impressive housekeeping skills) was empty with a pot of stew simmering gently on the stove. Where was Kagome? Sesshomaru did not have to search long since Kagome was in the living room, curled up on the sofa and reading a book.
"Hello."
Kagome jumped slightly and turned to look at him. "Hi."
"What are you reading?"
Kagome said, "The Portrait of a Lady." She handed him the book.
Sesshomaru took the book and then noticed the piece of paper stuck to the back. A library book. Sesshomaru had not taken her there, which meant that she had gone across town. Alone.
"You went to the library," Sesshomaru said, his voice coming out more accusatory than he intended.
Kagome's eyes took on a look of confusion and a touch of hurt at his tone.
"Yes," she said cautiously. "Yes, I did."
"Why."
"Why are you so upset, Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked, looking more visibly upset at the hard edge to his voice.
"You had no right to go there."
Sesshomaru barely registered the red flush of anger that crept up Kagome's neck before he turned and walked away. He hadn't gotten any further than the top of the stairs when Kagome caught up with him.
"Sesshomaru!"
He took his time turning to face her. He gazed down at her face and felt a twinge of apprehension. Kagome's hackles were obviously up.
"What do you mean 'I had no right'?" she demanded.
"Just that."
"You have no right to order me around!"
"This is my home and I have every right to decide what goes on."
Sesshomaru could practically see steam coming out of Kagome's ears. Her hands were balled into fists and her stance was stiff and defiant.
"How can you be so controlling!"
Sesshomaru said nothing, his own anger and pride reacting to Kagome's words. "I think the better question is, how can you be so foolish?" Sesshomaru asked coldly.
Kagome's eyes suddenly filled with tears and her voice was choked and furious. "Now you're laying guilt on me? You are controlling! Just like my father!"
Sesshomaru felt as though he had been slapped, his hurt and disbelief letting him do nothing but stare at Kagome. Kagome's hands flew to her mouth and she stared back at him, her gaze nearly frightened. After a long moment, Kagome fled towards her room.
There was no dinner that night.
X
Sesshomaru slumped in his chair and massaged his temples. He had just yelled at his seventh person of the day. Sesshomaru harbored no delusions that he was a fun person to work with. But his justified reputation was that he, while tough, was loyal, fair, and appreciative of hard work. But he had found himself irritable with everyone who crossed his path, yelling at people for things that normally wouldn't have generated a blip on his radar. Things of little consequence or things not the fault of others.
It was as though he could not control himself, a phenomenon he did not have much experience with. But he could not deny the reason…he knew what it was all too well. Kagome. Remembering her words, he felt anger, yes, but the more vivid feeling was painful hurt. He couldn't stop her words from replaying over and over again in his mind. Just like her father…
Sesshomaru left work early for the first time since he could remember. As the day had progressed, his control, if anything, slipped further and further from his grasp. The hurt and anger kept percolating under the surface, tumbling in his mind and, as the day wore on, the guilt began to emerge.
Sesshomaru walked aimlessly through the promenade. He had driven over here from work, not quite able to face going home. Sesshomaru paused and then went into the store, emerging some 20 minutes later, bag in hand.
Sesshomaru walked through the front door where the smell of cooking food immediately reached his nose. He made his way towards the kitchen, pausing briefly in the rarely used dinning room: the table was nicely set with china and candlesticks.
Kagome, spoon in hand, looked up as Sesshomaru entered the kitchen. There was a long and awkward silence.
Until they both began to apologize at once.
"No, I apologize," Sesshomaru said. "Please continue."
Kagome broke eye contact and hesitated before speaking in a low halting tone. "I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have said all those things. I was…was angry. I felt controlled…by men…so, I guess, I overreacted. You're nothing like my father, Sesshomaru."
"I did not intend to be controlling. And I apologize for making you feel that way. I believe I overreacted to what I, in the heat of the moment, perceived as disobedience. But…" Sesshomaru found his words failing him but forced himself to continue. "…But I believe what I was truly feeling was…worry. The thought of you being alone…with your father around…"
Sesshomaru found himself unable to continue. Unsure of how to continue.
After a few moments, Kagome lifted her gaze to Sesshomaru's. Some of the worry and sorrow began to leave Kagome's eyes, to be replaced with confusion. And with something else. Sesshomaru felt some confusion of his own. He took a couple of involuntary steps closer to Kagome and felt himself simply gazing at her upturned face, looking into her wide eyes, so near to his own.
Sesshomaru took a step backward and Kagome dropped her gaze.
"I have a gift for you," Sesshomaru said, holding the bag towards her.
Kagome looked at him and then took the bag. She pulled out the book and read the title.
"Daisy Miller?"
"It is also by Henry James, the author of Portrait of a Lady."
Kagome smiled. "Thank you, Sesshomaru. I haven't read this yet."
"You are welcome."
Kagome smiled. "Would you like to eat? I made something special."
"Yes."
X
Two weeks had passed since that night. Kagome and Sesshomaru continued to move comfortably around the house together as they had before. But there were occasional moments of awareness since that night. Moments of silence where feelings were confused and not as usual. But they did not speak of these and continued to live day by day, continued to live as something between friends and family. With Kagome's help Sesshomaru overcame much of the temptation to drink and no longer partook of it at all. In addition, at Kagome's insistence, he had gone to the doctor for the first time in years. He was pronounced in perfect health.
X
Sesshomaru awoke and stretched briefly before rolling out of bed. The novelty of waking up without a murmur from his body was a novelty whose appeal had not yet worn off. He put coffee on in the kitchen and then headed back upstairs to get ready for work. He took a quick shower, dressed, and pulled his hair back. He hesitated after closing the door to his bedroom.
He quietly walked over to Kagome's door and knocked very softly. There was no answer and he slowly opened the door a crack. She was asleep. Being careful not to wake her, he quietly went inside and looked down at her. He remembered the first time he'd seen her sleep and how troubled and protective she'd been in dreams. Now her body was more relaxed and there was no frown upon her face. Her long black hair was spread across the pillow and her eyelashes fluttered slightly. She was resting her head on her arm and had kicked off the blanket. As Sesshomaru gazed down at her he was struck with how beautiful she was. Sighing quietly, Sesshomaru gently pulled up the blanket and tucked it around her. Kagome stirred slightly and then was still. Sesshomaru allowed himself another moment to look upon her before leaving the room, quietly closing the door behind him.
Sesshomaru filled a travel mug with coffee but left the coffee maker on in order to keep the coffee warm for Kagome. She wasn't likely to be up for another hour. Sesshomaru arrived at work without incident and was able to work, nearly without delay or interruption, until about three o'clock, when his secretary buzzed him over the intercom.
"Mr. Taisho?"
"Yes?"
"There is a Mr. Inuyasha Taisho in the waiting room. Should I make an appointment for a later time? Or will you see him, he said it was urgent."
'Inuyasha? What is he doing here?'
"Send him in."
"Yes, Sir."
The two simply looked at each other for several moments once Inuyasha walked into Sesshomaru's office. Inuyasha was his half brother and the two of them did not see each other much. They were not especially close. His brother was 24 and a police officer who worked narcotics. Today, however, he was without his uniform.
"What can I do for you, Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru finally asked, indicating for Inuyasha to take a seat.
Inuyasha sat and said, "I hear you have a Kagome Higurashi living with you."
Sesshomaru took several moments to control his surprise before he spoke. "And where did you hear that?"
"Why are you being difficult, Sesshomaru?" Inuyasha asked testily. "I'm not here as a cop. I'm here as your brother and as a friend."
Sesshomaru felt himself soften slightly. "I apologize."
Inuyasha nodded. "It's fine. I guess it's normal for us to tick each other off, huh? Anyways, tell me, is there a Kagome Higurashi staying with you?"
Sesshomaru hesitated for a moment. But he knew he could trust his brother, even if he was annoying. "Yes. She is."
"Damn," Inuyasha said. "I was hoping you wouldn't say that."
"Why not?"
"Mr. Higurashi, Kagome's father, is going to press charges against you. Then he plans to file a lawsuit. He claims you essentially abducted Kagome and are keeping her against his wishes. Higurashi is claiming that Kagome is mentally incompetent, unable to make her own decisions, and that you are using that to keep her with you. He wants to get you put away and then receive "fair compensation" for the so-called emotional damage he's sustained."
"What?" Sesshomaru roared, jumping to his feet.
"That's what I thought," Inuyasha said with disgust.
"Are you sure this wasn't just a rumor?" Sesshomaru demanded. "Surely the law wouldn't actually give this consideration!"
Inuyasha gave him a look. "I know the difference between a rumor and something that's going to take place. I heard it from a friend of mine. He's a paralegal for the attorney that Mr. Higurashi retained. The guy is a sleeze, a certifiable ambulance chaser. My friend occasionally slips me information when he suspects that the law is being abused."
"Fuck," Sesshomaru whispered, sitting down with a thump and running aggravated hands through his hair. What was going to happen?
After several moments Sesshomaru had collected himself sufficiently to address Inuyasha.
"Why are you telling me this?" Sesshomaru asked. "You could get into a whole hell of a lot of trouble. You and your friend."
"I know. But I know you must care about this girl. Besides, I don't trust this Higurashi. He's been brought up on assault, domestic violence, battery, public intoxication, and there have been more domestic disturbance calls to his home than I can count. My concern is with justice, not the 'law'. And justice lies with Kagome and not having her returned to her shithead of a father."
"But what can I do?" Sesshomaru asked, as much to himself as to Inuyasha. "I don't want to go to jail, obviously, but Kagome…"
Inuyasha sighed. "I don't know. Let's just hope that there's a fair judge. But the sooner you know, the sooner you can get to work with your lawyer, finding ways to make sure that bastard doesn't win."
Sesshomaru sighed. Then he stood and held out his hand to Inuyasha. "Thank you, Inuyasha. I mean it."
"Good luck." Inuyasha gave him an odd look. "And I'm sorry, but you can't bring me into this."
"I understand."
"Thanks."
Inuyasha left. Sesshomaru stared blankly at his desk. Damn. This couldn't be happening. He picked up the phone and called his lawyer. He was a friend and Sesshomaru trusted him both personally and professionally. Then he went home. He wasn't letting Kagome out of his sight.
X
"Sesshomaru! You're home early!" Kagome said.
Sesshomaru looked at her and it took effort to answer her normally. Should he tell her? Not now, he decided.
"I decided to take off early," he told her. "I was thinking we could go do something, since it is Friday."
"Sure!" Kagome agreed readily. "What?"
"Why don't we both get ready to go. We can decide in the car."
"Okay."
Sesshomaru took a quick shower and then changed into a pair of black slacks and a white t-shirt. He slipped his feet into a pair of black sneakers and grabbed a jacket. The sneakers were a new acquisition. He had purchased them after Kagome had teased him that he looked the same whether he was going to work or not. It was not certain why he felt it necessary to prove that he wasn't always uptight, which is how he interpreted her remark. He then brushed out his hair and left it down. He had a slight headache. Kagome came downstairs about three minutes after him. She was busy slipping on a jacket, so Sesshomaru had the opportunity to study her. He'd given her some money, over her protests, to buy any necessities and he hadn't seen this outfit yet. She looked beautiful. She wore a black pencil skirt, black flats, a pink blouse and a black jacket. She'd left her hair down and Sesshomaru saw no signs of make-up. But, then again, she didn't need it.
"Are you ready?" Sesshomaru asked.
"Yes."
"Come."
They got into the car and Sesshomaru pulled out of the driveway.
"So, where are we going?" Kagome asked.
"Shall we go to the promenade?"
"Sure. That sounds like fun."
They reached their destination in good time and Sesshomaru parked the car. They browsed the stores for awhile and stopped to watch a skit being put on in the street.
"Would you like to get some ice cream?" Kagome asked.
"Sure." Sesshomaru made to approach the vendor, but Kagome stopped him.
"I'll get it."
"Very well."
Sesshomaru took out some money and handed it to Kagome.
"What would you like?" she asked.
"Whatever suits you."
"Okay. I'll be right back."
Sesshomaru watched Kagome walk over to the ice cream cart. There was no line and she began to speak with the vendor.
"Excuse me, sir."
Sesshomaru looked over and saw a teenage girl. "Yes?"
"Do you have the time?"
Sesshomaru looked at his watch. "Its 5:20."
"Thank you."
Sesshomaru nodded and then turned his gaze back in Kagome's direction. Sesshomaru felt as though his heart stopped for a moment before it began to beat quickly. Two boys had approached Kagome. One had her by the arm and the other was holding her chin in his hand. Kagome was struggling to free herself, the ice creams lay on the ground. Kagome caught Sesshomaru's eye.
"Sesshomaru!"
Power seemed to suddenly return to his body and Sesshomaru leapt to his feet. He ran forward and hit one with all the force he could muster. The guy who had been holding Kagome's face dropped to his knees, clutching at his bloody nose. His friend released Kagome and knelt by his companion. Sesshomaru grabbed Kagome and pulled her against his chest. He felt Kagome clutch at the front of his shirt.
"Don't you dare touch her," Sesshomaru growled, trying to rein in his temper; he didn't want to frighten Kagome. "Beat it."
The two hurried off and Sesshomaru shot an all encompassing glare at the onlookers who hadn't lifted a finger to help his Kagome. His…he knew this wasn't correct, but, in this moment, he couldn't deny that he wished it were true. Sesshomaru allowed himself the weakness of holding Kagome for a few moments, enjoying the feel of her breathing, the scent of her hair, and the way she fit beneath his chin. Finally, he made himself pull away.
"Are you okay?" Sesshomaru asked.
"Yes," she said shakily. "Can we go home?"
"Yes. I am sorry."
"Don't be; it wasn't your fault!" She shivered slightly. "Thank you for helping."
Sesshomaru looked at her. "Of course. Come."
They rode back to the house in silence, though Sesshomaru felt compelled to glance at Kagome periodically. He was a little worried. She seemed withdrawn, hugging herself as though she was cold. But Sesshomaru had an idea that temperature had nothing to do with it. Sesshomaru pulled up to the house and the two went inside.
"Why don't you go take a bath?" Sesshomaru suggested. "And I will have dinner ready when you come down."
"Are you sure?"
"You have had enough for today. I will take care of it. Go relax."
"Okay. Thanks."
Kagome made her way upstairs and Sesshomaru watched her until she was out of sight. With a sigh, he turned and went into the kitchen. He absentmindedly began to make dinner, his mind focused on all that had happened today. He of course had known that he was unusually fond of Kagome. But today, when two different threats tried to take her away, he realized just how deeply he cared for her. He realized that he wanted her to be a part of his life. To be his life. But even though he now realized this, he was not certain if it would be possible. Could he really keep her safe? Could he make her happy? Would she have him? Did she consider him as anything other than a friend? Anything other than someone she was grateful to?
"Shit!" he yelled suddenly.
He'd been so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he'd just set his hand on the edge of the pan full of cooking chicken. Muttering under his breath, he went over to the sink and stuck his hand under cold water.
His own personal feelings aside, how could he help Kagome? Essentially it would be his word against her father's, and the father had more rights than him, especially if the court agreed that Kagome was indeed mentally incompetent. Sesshomaru couldn't bring himself to care about the threat of a lawsuit, but he worried being sent to jail would ensure that no one could protect Kagome. Maybe he could leave her money, so she could leave her father? But would that do any good? Hell…he didn't know.
Suddenly, the smell of smoke reached his nose. Whirling around, he saw the chicken beginning to burn.
"Damn!"
He hadn't even taken out a utensil for the chicken. He yanked open the appropriate drawer and, typically, it flew off of its hinges and spilled its contents all over the floor.
"Shit!"
He finally found a spatula amongst the mess on the floor and then hurried to get a plate, hitting his head on the cabinet door in his haste. Muttering, he removed the chicken from the pan. It looked salvageable, if seasoned and cut into pieces. He turned to get a knife, forgot about the mess, and stepped on a measuring cup. Sesshomaru lost his balance and landed flat on his rear.
"Fucking piece of shit for a kitchen!"
"Uh…Sesshomaru? Do you need help?"
Sesshomaru wasn't one to be easily embarrassed; he cared too little about the opinions of others. But, this time, he made an exception. It didn't seem like it could be much worse than his current and undignified position, sitting on the floor like a child, amidst a sea of kitchen utensils. She just had to see him. He slowly turned and prayed that the flush of heat in his face wasn't visible to her. But, as she gazed at him, Sesshomaru cursed and added blushing to the further list of ways he'd just made a spectacle of himself.
Kagome walked over to the sink and shut off the faucet, something Sesshomaru had neglected to do, which was splattering water all over the counter.
"I think there's lettuce in the fridge. If we cut up the chicken, we can have a salad," she said.
Kagome went to the fridge and withdrew some vegetables, which she then began to wash. Sesshomaru realized he was still holding the spatula and tossed it onto the counter with a muttered curse. Kagome began to slice the chicken and place it in the salad.
"How long were you standing there?" Sesshomaru asked abruptly.
She didn't look at him as she finished with the chicken and washed her hands. "When the chicken began to burn."
"Damn."
Sesshomaru suddenly realized that Kagome's shoulders were shaking. Was she laughing?
"Do you think this indignity is funny?" he asked stiffly.
Kagome's resolve seemed to break and she burst into laughter. She turned to face Sesshomaru, tears of mirth streaming down her face. As she continued to laugh, Sesshomaru found that all he could do was stare at her. When was the last time someone had even thought to laugh at him? When was the last time anyone had laughed at, or with, him? His confusion must have been evident on his face and it seemed to cause Kagome to laugh even harder.
"I-I'm sorry," she gasped. "B-but you're always s-so in control and then…"
Kagome laughed with renewed force. To Sesshomaru's surprise, his embarrassment and irritation began to fade. Then he began to see the humor in the situation. He chuckled and then began to laugh as well.
"So, you think I'm funny?" he growled playfully.
Sesshomaru then dashed at Kagome, who gave a small shriek and ran, still laughing. Sesshomaru chased her around the kitchen and into the living room. She cornered herself next to the couch and whirled to face Sesshomaru, who looked at her with a mock predatory gaze.
"Oh, no," she gasped breathlessly, winded by both her laughter and the running.
"Gotcha," Sesshomaru said, and pounced.
Kagome made one last effort to escape, but Sesshomaru was too fast for her and they fell in a heap on the carpet, laughing. The laughter broke off abruptly as they caught each other's gaze, and realized their position. Kagome lay on the floor, one hand to her chest and the other trapped between their two bodies. She gazed at him in silence. Sesshomaru searched her face. Her hair was spread out on the floor and a stray lock fell across her face. Her eyes were bright and searching. Sesshomaru lifted one hand and tucked the strand of hair behind her ear. She followed his movements and then returned her gaze to his. Sesshomaru felt himself suddenly overwhelmed with emotion for this girl and got to his knees, preparing to stand. Then Kagome did something to freeze him in his place. She took his hand in her own and gently kissed his knuckles. Sesshomaru's gaze flew to her face. Then, he lowered his head and kissed her, quickly, and hesitantly. He pulled away and searched her expression. She smiled and lifted her head slightly. Sesshomaru reclaimed her lips. Suddenly, Sesshomaru released her and leapt to his feet. He turned around and tried to get control over himself.
"Sesshomaru? What's wrong?"
He felt her hand on his arm and practically jumped away from her touch. He turned to look at her and felt himself cringe at the hurt expression on her face.
"I am sorry," he said somewhat stiffly. "But I can not do this…"
"Okay," Kagome said. Her voice grew cold, "I understand."
She made to move away, but Sesshomaru stopped her.
"I let you leave once after a misunderstanding. Not this time. You do not understand. It has nothing to do with you. I care about you, and I was honored to be able to kiss you but…but my actions were not appropriate. You are staying in my house…under my care…I do not want to take advantage of the situation."
Kagome looked at him, and Sesshomaru was relieved to see that the hurt and coldness had left her face. "I think I understand what you're saying. But, my staying here aside, I…" She looked away. "I care about you but…"
"But?" Sesshomaru prompted gently.
"But I'm not sure if you feel the same…"
"Kagome," Sesshomaru said, gently forcing her to look at him by placing his hand under her chin. "I would not laugh with or kiss someone I did not care greatly for."
"But don't you want to be with me, then?"
Sesshomaru struggled with himself for a moment before saying, "Yes. I do. But I can not court you while you are in my house…it would be dishonest. And though I want you in my life more than anything…I do not know if that is going to be possible…"
Sesshomaru cringed inwardly, but knew he had to tell Kagome about the information he had received from Inuyasha.
"Do you think me dishonorable, because of the family I come from, the circumstances in which I lived?"
Sesshomaru felt himself blanch. He had not expected her to infer that.
"No," he said firmly. "That is not the reason I wonder at our future together. Come." He led her to the couch. "There are things I need to tell you."
X
"What am I going to do?" Kagome cried, burying her face in her hands.
Sesshomaru looked at her feeling helpless. It had been one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do, telling Kagome about Inuyasha's information. But he had known it was necessary. But now, watching her weep with fear and confusion, he wondered if there was anything else he could have done. Sesshomaru debated with himself before scooting closer to Kagome and putting his arms around her quivering form. Sesshomaru was mildly shocked, but pleased, or as pleased as he could be under the circumstances, when she immediately leaned into him. Sesshomaru held her and let her cry.
"Shh," he whispered. "It will be okay."
"How can you say that? My father will win and I'll never leave. He-he'll be so angry and…and I'll never see you again."
Sesshomaru had never felt so helpless in his life. He was accustomed to taking charge and getting what he set out to have. But, now, the odds were against him. And there was nothing he could do about it.
"I have a very good lawyer. He and I will do everything we can to help you," Sesshomaru told her, trying to sound convincing.
Kagome gave no answer, except to continue crying.
X
Well, that's it for chapter five! I hope you enjoyed it, maybe just a teensy bit? Please R&R!