A/N: I love the vehicle sessions in the games don't you? Well aside from those annoying sequences with that RC chopper, that was a pain in the tail. Tell me how you guys liked that Sly Cooper segment I threw in there. They'll definitely be appearing in more oneshots as I get motivated. *hint hint* Be specific in your reviews, tell me what jokes, gags, and sarcasm you liked. I'll explain why I want to hear all this in the end of the chapter.

Disclaimer:

Me: Must I say it?

Sucker Punch: Yes! or get sucker-punched

Me: Fein, I don't own Sly Cooper Franchise – they do. Also made a reference to a movie/skit in this one, I don't own that either.

Have you ever been running around being a thief and enjoying the heist, then ended up in a police chase that lasted for quite a long time? Running away from police officers was one of the main things we covered last chapter, but there's even more stylish ways to get away from the blue monsters. Not to mention they can be used to perform a variety of other jobs also.

A major mode of transportation we love to use is called the tank- duh who doesn't love a tank? In fact, we don't even have to give you all the precious details of it, though it is fun for making "blue" berry pancakes, if you know what we mean. Instead we're going to let "THE MURRAY" show you how it's done.

It was Prague- no it was dark. "THE MURRAY" was going to get the Clockwerk eyes from Carmelita. The hippo hopped into the tank and pulled the lid shut. He cracked his knuckles and began the process of starting the massive vehicle. Luckily Bentley had explained to him- very slowly, how to get the thing running anyway.

The engine roared to life, and he drove it out of the small garage they had been storing it in. The two guards who had been sleeping in front of it, dove out of the way yelling angrily.

"Murray, you have to stop Carmelita from getting away with the Clockwerk eyes!" Bentley yelled over the com.

"THE MURRAY acknowledges!" Murray turned onto one of the many streets surrounding the Contessa's fortress and began his pursuit of Carmelita, who was also in a tank.

Thankfully she was not skilled at all in driving a tank, and he caught up quickly. He began firing at the back in order to slow her down.

Suddenly he heard a huge rumble coming from inside his tank. So loud in fact, that Bentley heard it over their com-link.

"Murray what was that, is something wrong with your engine?" Bentley sounded worried.

"THE MURRAY hungers for justice! Literally!" The hippo clutched his stomach with one hand, while gripping the controls with his other, "I haven't eaten since before you explained the operation."

There was silence over Bentley's mic for a second before a yell of frustration exploded in Murray's ears. "I told you we should have eaten before- oh- just- AUGH!"

"Buddy calm down," Sly's voice joined in the conversation, "Carmelita's not going anywhere anytime soon, and I remember seeing some sort of restaurant around here somewhere, probably close to the water. Just as soon as Murray refills, he can catch up to Carmelita."

"Fine, just hurry up!" Bentley sounded flustered.

"Hey, Bentley," said Murray.

"What!"

"Do you want me to bring you a waffle?" Murray asked, as he turned the tank down a separate street heading off to one of the Contessa's private restaraunts.

The sound of a mic being thrown on the ground and a bomb exploding was the last thing Murray heard before static took over for Bentley's comlink.

'I guess he doesn't like waffles,' Murray shrugged and pulled into the restaurant's drive thru. It was kind of tough to do with the tank being huge, but he managed to pull in without destroying everything, with the exception of the 8'0 clearance pole.

The restaurant 'The Spider's Web, was aptly named. It was covered in cobwebs and gothic décor on the outside. As soon as Murray pulled close to the speaker, a rather lazy sounding voice said, "Welcome to Good Burger, home of the good burger may I-"

"Hey spitwad this isn't Good Burger!" another voice was heard over the speaker.

"Oho, my bad, sorry dude. Welcome to Spider's Web, home of the uh- corn on the cobweb. May I take your order?"

"THE MURRAY asks what is the special today?" Murray had to pop the hatch open so the guy could hear him.

"Heh heh, I don't know dude, let's take a look at the menu shaaaalll we? There's uhm, a breakfast web wrap. And uh' flies'- if you like those I mean plenty of exotic flavors- du uh huh. There's always the favorite websicles if you want em for dessert or something. For a special drink we have fresh Bloody Mary's and uh grasshopper juice."

Murray was getting queasy now, "Uh, THE MURRAY asks if you have a regular burger."

"Oh yeah dude, we totally have a- what's it called? Oh yeah, a Spicy Burger, sounds perfect for you," the guy said, "How many of those you want?"

"THE MURRAY'S hunger should be satisfied with five," he replied.

"Very well dude, that'll be 37.50$ You can pull up to the next window.

Murray pulled up and the one who had taken his order, poked his head out. It was a teenage fox, wearing his worker's hat backwards. When he saw the huge tank (couldn't forget about that now could we?), his eyes got big and he said, "Whoa dude, nice ride."

"Thank you citizen," Murray paid the guy, as he was handed the bag, and immediately tore into one of the burgers contained in it. If he felt queasy before, it was double now.

Meanwhile back inside, the manager asked the young fox, Vick (boy, imagine the flak he would take if you added 'xen' to that), "What did you give the customer?"

"Oh man, I found some totally awesome looking spice in these crates in the back, and I added it to the burger. Why?"

"You idiot! That was the spice Contessa used for hypnotizing people."

They were interrupted by a glass shattering guttural roar. They turned to the front and saw Murray in the tank with the gun barrel pointed right towards them.

Vick's manager face-palmed and said, "You mean to tell me, you gave a guy in a tank, spice that can put people in an uncontrollable rage!" His voice quivered in anger and disbelief.

"Oh, yeah man, totally awesome ride, huh?" Vick scratched the back of his head, smiling goofily while his manager could only stare.

"Uh, boss man, you might want to tell everyone to duck," he crawled underneath the counter seconds before Murray drove the tank right through the front of the restaurant. He fired the cannon also while yelling in what sounded like Chinese spoken backwards.

In an insane stroke of luck, Carmelita ended up breaking down on the street behind the restaurant, and the round from the tank went right into her engine shutting it down.

"Murray, good job. Carmelita's stopped in her tracks, go get the Clockwerk eyes," Bentley's nasally voice sounded in Murray's ears. (Apparently he has a new mic now).

"Hey Bentley," Murray asked.

"What is it now Murray?"

"They didn't have any waffles."

The sound of another bomb exploding was all Murray heard before static. Well, static on Bentley's com and laughter from Sly's.

Well, now that we seemed to have explained nothing on how a tank actually works, just know it's one heck of a thing to use at a drive thru.

Moving on, let's talk treasure matey- er pirate ships. Every thief loves to steal a pirate ship, Master Sly said it himself. And who wouldn't? You steal from the stealer and make them the stealee? Something like that, either way pirate ships are super useful for some high sea hijinks.

Whenever your ship gets a hole in it with a cannonball (you're definitely going to want to remember this one), WHACK IT WITH YO CANE BROTHA! Because hitting damage magically repairs it, (as we've said before don't ask us how it just does). Fire those cannons hoist the underwear- no wait mainsail. All those pirate sayings, besides, cops don't own pirate ships. They have better things to do (it rhymes with peanuts).

One small note: he who has sea sickness must relieve himself over the ocean water.

Last for this section we have the biplane. Now if you have a fear of heights we wouldn't recommend this one (especially if you got your license out of a cereal box *ahem*). Now we'd like to explain the controls to this one, since they're very VERY complicated. Down is up, up is down, left is right, right is left, up is only up if you reverse it, down is down if you reverse it, but when you reverse it everything goes backwards so down goes back to up and up goes back down.

Got it memorized? Good because we have absolutely no clue how to fly it either. If you can get the dang thing off the runway and into the air, you'll have a ton of fun viewing that giant lady we mentioned earlier- we mean Holland, yes that's what you should be staring at.

Okay now the important part. First I need to know whether to continue with the vehicles for one more chapter, which I could since there's a ton of vehicle sections (and I haven't even started on that precious van of Murray's) or start on something new. Also I really need you guys to be specific in your reviews. If I was a traveling comedian and I went to a different audience every time, I would rarely have to change my act. Sure I could switch it up a little, but I wouldn't need to if the same jokes were making people laugh every time I performed them. I'm writing humor for the same readers, and each update I'm trying to keep things fresh and not over use what is funny. If you tell me what specific part actually made you laugh out loud, that would help me know: okay slapstick is working, or verbal humor is a strong point, or that I should lay off the sarcastic parenthesis. Tell me what characters in the series you would like to see appear more etc. See what I'm trying to get at? I do apologize for not updating this sooner, but I was in the midst of moving and well, it's stressful.

"Tanks" for taking the time to read my note and as usual: read, laugh, review.