A/N: Blargh. This was not fun. I had to keep forcing myself to work on this, and the quality suffers. You can probably skip to the next chapter (once it's up) without missing much; this is basically filler. All you need to know is that

A: Twilight Sparkle is defending Big Mac

B: They are going to base their defense around testimony from citizens of Ponvyville (AKA: CAMEOS AHOY!)

C: Next chapter will be much, much, longer.

Read/review/favorite/criticize/squee.

The next day, media outlets were ablaze with the news.

FARMBOY ACCUSED OF MURDER!

-Canterlot Gazette

COUNTRY MAN KILLS RAPIST IN BRUTAL REVENGE!

-Fillydelphia Times

RESEARCH SHOWS LEADING CAUSE OF INSOMMNIA LACK OF SLEEP!

-Equestrian Enquirer

"Hello there, and welcome to Baltimare News at 9. Top story tonight: murder! For the first time in a half century, someone has been murdered in Equstria!"

"Filllydelpiha news at 8! Murder in Canterlot!"

And so on. Media portrayals of Big Mac fell into one of two camps: either a righteously angry country boy who forgot his own strength or a hick who killed a man for whistling at his girlfriend, one media personality went so far as to claim that Big Mac's tiny brain overloaded when he came into the city and he killed someone while his brain was trying to repair itself. None of them even considered the possibility that he might be innocent.

Neither did the men interrogating him.

"Look, we know you did it. We have video of you doing it."

"Bullshit."

"Now, now, hayseed, your old granny wouldn't approve of that kinds of language.

"You don't know mah granny."

Corbitt sighed. This guy was stubborn as a mule. Irritating, too: he remained infuriatingly calm throughout the whole thing, his cuffed hands on the table, his expression unreadable, his responses short and to the point.

And where the hell did he get that wheat stalk?

The assistant DA plucked the offending grain out the prisoners, mumbling something about a "lockpick risk". Corbitt knew this was bullshit. Both parties were aware that, if he really wanted too, Big Mac could snap the (relatively) weak chain linking the two cuffs. The police's insurance policy was an armed guard in the corner.

"Mr. Apple, I'm giving you one more chance to confess. Are you going to take it?"

"Nnnope."

Corbitt sighed. "You give me no choice," he said as he pulled off his jacket and rolled back his sleeves. Big Mac loosened his jaw and prepared to turn with the punch-

"What do you think you're doing?"

Big Mac saw the most unlikeliest of saviors: a slim Asian woman wearing a business suit and a shocked expression. Twilight Sparkle: Was there anything that she wasn't well learned in?

Corbitt reacted quite well, given the circumstances.

"I was simply cooling off."

Twilight shot a glance at the fully functioning air conditioner in the corner before turning back to the Assistant DA.

"I'd a couple minutes alone with my client to prepare his defense."

Unrolling his sleeves and replacing his jacket, Corbitt nodded. He and the guard left the room. Twilight plunked her briefcase on the table and opened it up, pulling out papers.

"Hello, Big Mac."

"Howdy, Miss Twilight."

"The first thing I need to know is simple: Did you do it? I'll defend you either way, I would just like to know right now so I can tailor your defense to fit."

His answer was soft, but with a tinge of anger behind it.

"You think ah killed someone?"

That sure flustered Twilight. Her cheeks burned a furious red as she realized what she had been insinuating.

"N-no, that's what I meant at all..."

Big Mac just leaned back, putting his hands in his lap. His face was still blank.

"Well, anyway, I've talked to the DA, and we can't touch them in terms of physical evidence. They can prove that you were wearing the same kind of boot the killer did. We'll be trying for a character defense."

"A what?"

"We'll call in witnesses to show that you aren't a killer."

"Sounds good t' me. Who can we call in t' testify?"

"Pick anyone in Ponyville. Anyone."

"Will that convince 'em?"

"Of course it will."

"Didn't convince you."

Twilight decided to make a peace offering.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said. How can I make it up to you?"

"What do you mean, it came in from the princess?"

"Well, we got an official letter from Princess Celestia requesting that Prisoner #127 get a one-hour long unsupervised visit with Miss Rarity L'Fey. And that ain't a request I'd deny."

Rickman covered his eyes and groaned.

"He's got someone pulling strings for him. I know it."

"Of course he is, but there's nothing we can do about it."

"Alright. Give him his goddamned visit."

Big Mac was lying on the cot in his cell, shading his eyes and thinking. His cell door slid open, interrupting those thoughts.

"Prisoner #127? You have been granted one hour of unsupervised visitation."

He sat up and blinked.

"Wait, what?"

"You. Have. Been. Granted. One. Hour."

"Ah can hear ya. What does that mean?"

"You and your little girlfriend can screw each other as much as you can for one hour."

"That's a bit blunt."

"Yeah, well, it's true. Get up and put your hands against the wall."

Normally, Big Mac resented the search, but the thought of him being able to spend some time with Rarity made it bearable. After a short walk, he was standing front of a closed door, smiling slightly as he listened to his girlfriend argue the guards.

"NO! I WILL NOT BE SEARCHED!"

"Ma'am, it's a security procedure: as far as we know, you are smuggling a gun in there."

"Well, I'm NOT!"

"We don't know that."

"I suppose I'll suffer the indignity just this once. But keep those hands away from the merchandise."

After about 30 seconds, a green light next to the door light up, and a guard on the other side opened it. Big Mac could tell he was standing outside of a trailer, waiting for the guard in question to open the door and let him in. The guard cracked a grin.

"You've got one hour. Stick it up her ass at least twice."

He laughed at his own pathetic joke before unlocking Big Mac's cuffs and letting him into the trailer. It was a smallish room with a bed, a small table with a lamp, and Rarity, sitting on the bed, checking her reflection in a hand mirror. Upon his entering, she replaced the mirror in her handbag, got up, and kissed him. They stayed like that for a good minute before she finally broke it.

"Hi."

"Howdy."

"So... how have you been?"

"Been better. But ah've been worse."

If he's really been through worse than this, he's the strongest man I know.

"What about yerself?"

"Quite well, actually. Some of my designs have been getting more publicity."

She didn't have to say why.

"Good t' hear. Shall we get started?"

She grinned seductively.

"I'd love to."

After their hour was up, both Big Mac and Rarity were given a full pat down. The guard from outside the trailer spoke up again.

"Hey, miss! I can show you a better time than any farm boy could!"

She scoffed.

"Oh, please. There's a reason his nickname is "Big" Macintosh/"

As he was led back to his cell, Big Mac had a slight smile on his face.

A/N: I sincerely apologize for the wait, length, and quality of this chapter. I sort of lost steam after chapter 3, and this chapter didn't flow the way I wanted it to. I will make it up to you with a MASSIVE and EPICALLY LONG trial chapter. Think 5,000+ words. Read and review, as always!