Ciel let out a frustrated sigh.
He would not cry.
He would not cry.
Not, not, not cry.
The young one breathed in deeply, trying to calm the rush of emotions threatening to overwhelm him before inspecting the room.
The room was plainer than what Ciel had seen of the rest of the house; it lacked the soul-sucking black that decorated most of the house. Instead, it was draped in dark blues and silver as if it had been decorated with the young Lord in mind. It was such a stark contrast to the dark gloomy hallway Ciel had seen when he had entered and it made the young demon curious as to what the elder demon's room looked like.
Fear kept him from finding out. He couldn't explain why he was scared; he knew Sebastian could never hurt the demonling, whether he wanted to or not. The contract wouldn't allow it.
"Stupid contract." Ciel whispered sitting on the king-sized bed that was dressed in midnight-blue. "We wouldn't be stuck like this if it wasn't for that stupid contract. Damn you, Alois. Damn you." He dressed in a nightshirt from his suitcase and blew out the candle light before climbing into bed.
He lay there for a while, trying to sleep but sleep did not come. So he just lay there, trying to be as silent as possible. Eventually sleep finally took pity and Ciel drifted off into the realm of nightmares.
Sebastian lay on his bed, fully dressed, staring at the ceiling.
Sleep was being a nuisance tonight and was refusing to surrender to him.
His stupid, idiotic mind kept wandering to the demonling that slept in the room next door.
The elder demon tried to think of other things, other people, other beings but, hell, even cats reminded him of the young master; the lazy way the young one would stretch out on his front on his bed when he had just awoken and the way his tongue would scrape across the side of his index finger when he had made a slight mess with his food.
Sebastian hit his forehead with the palm of his hand, trying to knock these thoughts out of his head.
It was times like this when Sebastian hated his master, and his heart, the most. Logic said that Sebastian shouldn't care about his master. The young Phantomhive had cheated him out of the soul he desired most and still had Sebastian waiting on him hand and foot. And Sebastian did hate the young master to some extent, he did feel coolly and indifferently. Yet it was not because he was cursed to be by the young demonling's side forever but because he hated that he loved . . . no.
Sebastian stopped his thoughts in their tracks. He couldn't be in love with the young master. He couldn't. There was several reasons why and all of them perfectly plausible.
But then. . .if that were so, why did his heart skip a beat when they touched? Why did his heart break when he saw tears running down the young one's face? Why did he hate the fact that the young one was hurting?
All part of the contract, that's what Sebastian told himself but he knew what the contract consisted of and he knew that was just a lie that he told himself. . .
"NO!" the cry was sudden, fearful and came from the room next door.
Sebastian shot off the bed and hurried to see what the fuss was about.
When he entered the young master's room, he couldn't see the young one anywhere. After a moment or two, he realized the demonling was huddled into a corner, shaking like a scared kitten.
"Master?" Sebastian said as he charily approached. The young one flinched away and accidentally hit his head on the wall. A low groan of pain escaped the little one's throat. "Master?"
"It. . .it was just a dream." the young one whispered. "I-I'm sorry I woke you. I didn't mean to. I-I'm so sorry. I didn't choose this. I didn't know. But you can blame me if it makes you feel better. Just please, show it. Show me your anger. Show me whatever emotion you want. Say something, anything. Scream at me, shout at me. I don't care. I just can't stand your silence anymore, Sebastian. I'm sorry."
Sebastian knelt down beside his master, realizing the boy was no longer apologising for disturbing him; Ciel was apologizing for becoming a demon in the first place. Apologizing for being his eternal curse. The young one wasn't to blame but, still, he apologized and that's what melted the elder. That was what had the elder finally accepting the young one into his heart.
And Sebastian leaned in and pressed his lips to Ciel's.
Stunned, the young one didn't move, he didn't even breathe until the elder pulled away.
The child broke down in noiseless tears. "Sebastian, what-whatever game you're playing . . . I . . ." Ciel whispered. "I don't want to play anymore. I don't want to be the master. I don't want to anymore. I surrender, Sebastian, I surrender."
Sebastian stared at the young one. "You surrender?"
Ciel just nodded pathetically.
"Well, we can't have that." the butler said pulling the younger to his feet as the elder stood.
The younger opened his mouth to say something but found himself interrupted by Sebastian's mouth on his as the elder pressed the younger against the wall. Ciel gasped and the demon used that to his advantage and slid his tongue into the demonling's mouth. The young one made a noise but didn't push the elder away; he kissed the elder back, letting his own tongue battle the other for dominance. A battle the younger lost.
The elder lost no time in diving his tongue deeper into the younger's mouth, exploring it, tasting it before coaxing the younger's tongue to battle again. The young one broke the kiss, his lungs desperately begging for oxygen. "Sebastian. . ." he panted as the elder leaned in for another kiss. ". . .don't. Don't unless . . . unless you really want to. I don't think my heart could take it if this is just some way of giving me happiness only to rip it away from me and break my heart completely."
Sebastian felt his heart flutter.
So Ciel did feel the same way.
The elder slowly reached across the small gap between them and cupped the younger's cheek with an ungloved hand. With his thumb, he wiped away a drying tear and he rested his forehead against the young one's. "I would never do that to you, Ciel, I would never break you." Sebastian whispered and the young one gasped at the sound of his own name, startled that the elder had uttered it and shocked at the tender way the elder's tongue seemed to caress the name.
"Why?" Ciel asked moving his head away. "That's what you've been doing these past few years, isn't it? You've been so cold, Sebastian, and it's breaking me. I understand that you never wanted to be bound to me forever but it. . .it wasn't my. . ."
"Bocchan." Sebastian interrupted. "I admit I was angry at being cheated out of your soul. I was bitter and angry and resentful but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be bound to you forever. I confess I didn't really like the idea at first but now I . . . being close to you like this . . . I . . . I wouldn't have it any other way."
The elder watched the faint gleam of hope spark and flare to life in the young one's mismatched eyes. "You wouldn't?" he whispered hardly daring to believe it.
"Have I ever lied to you, my love?" Sebastian chuckled.
"My. . . Love?" Ciel repeated. "Why. . . ?"
Sebastian stroked the hair out of the young one's violet eye that held the mark of their bond. "Because I love you." the words fell from Sebastian's lips with ease and the elder realized he'd been idiotic to have denied it in the first place.
As soon as the words registered in Ciel's foggy brain, he flung his arms around his demon and kissed the elder with an ardent passion. He was crying again but these tears were not of fear and sorrow as they had been before. These were the tears of the purest joy that had ever been experience in all three realms. "I love you too." he confessed when their mouths weren't locked together. "I love you, I love you, I love you." he chanted until Sebastian shut him up with another breathtaking, heart hindering kiss.
Sebastian picked the demonling up and Ciel wrapped his legs around the demon's waist, still kissing fervently, as Sebastian carried his master to the bed where they collapsed onto the mattress. After a while, their kisses slowed as each became aware of the sexual position they were in; Ciel lying on top of the sheets with Sebastian in between his legs, hovering slightly above him.
"Ciel, do you want me tonight?" Sebastian asked. "tell me now because, if I kiss you again now, I don't think I'll be able to control myself."
The younger reached up and stroked the elder's cheek. "kiss me, then."
"But I won't be able to control my. . ."
"And I don't want you to." Ciel interrupted. "I want you, Sebastian. All of you. I've wanted you for so long and, if I don't have you now. . .now that I know you love me too, I fear I may go insane."
"As if you weren't already crazy." Sebastian chuckled closing the gap between them.
"Only for you." Ciel retorted before their mouths met and they were lost in each other.