Hi everyone, welcome to my first FF story. This has not been beta-read and all mistakes are my own. Hopefully as I get into the swing of this I will aim for weekly updates; possibly more depending on my Uni work load.
DISCLAIMER: Whilst I wish I did; I don't. Sadly, the Thunderbirds still belong to the Anderson's *sigh*.
Alan dreamed back to his personal debrief after his first mission. Alan had been sent out on a rescue with his four brothers. He had expected to be a full part of the mission but instead he had been stuck in mobile control with John whilst Gordon and Scott coordinated the victims, the injured, the other emergency services and handled the fire. John patiently explained everything that was going on; not just in mobile control but also what would be happening in Thunderbird Five, as well as at Command & Control. Alan resented being stuck in mobile control and would have probably thrown a tantrum if he wasn't with patient and calm John. Alan guessed that was the exact reason that John was on mobile control for this mission was because Alan would be less able to argue with John out of all of his brothers. He knew it and resented that too. Alan was frustrated because he had got exactly what he had wanted but it still wasn't what he really wanted.
After the family debrief Jeff asked the others to go but requested Alan to stay. There was a silence as Jeff picked up the family photo that was sat on his desk. It had only been taken about 30 minutes before the avalanche. Jeff sighed heavily.
"We don't communicate very well, do we?" He said still staring at the family photo.
Alan opened his mouth to argue this comment. He then realised that his father had said 'we' and it certainly wasn't deniable. Alan closed his mouth. He then saw that his father had been watching him closely whilst he had had his internal debate. Jeff smiled.
"I've had a chance to think over my parenting techniques since the Hood's attack." Jeff said slowly. "I am thankful that we have been given another chance, Alan. You mean the world to me and the world to this family, despite how it may seem sometimes. I should have explained things properly to you and I am sorry that I didn't."
Jeff hesitated trying to gauge what Alan was thinking from the look on his son's face. He thought a second and then continued.
"I am going to explain to you how I would to handle your training and your progress in the team. I know that some of it you won't agree with, however, I want to finish what I have to say without interruption and then I want to hear what you have to say. I don't want either of us to have to shout to get our opinion across anymore."
Alan smiled tightly and had agreed.
Jeff's prediction was right. There was a lot that Alan didn't agree with. However, he kept his mouth shut tightly and listened. And he didn't just hear what Jeff said but listened to what he meant.
"It is a lot harder for you Alan then for any of your brothers. Gordon was older than you when IR was ready to start. All your life you have heard about what we planned and then had to watch from the side lines whilst we went out. I think if I was in your position I would feel like I was being left behind and then being sent to school would feel like I was being sent away." At the surprised look on Alan's face Jeff laughed. "I know it was a long time ago but I was a teenager once too. The only thing I struggle with is that I was an only child. You have four brothers. I worry that if you stay here on the island you are going to miss out on so much. All of us had a life before we joined IR and I want you to have that chance too. There will be so much that you will miss once you become a full time member and I don't want you to resent that in a few years. There must be something else that you dream of Alan. There has to be something else that you want to do with your life."
There was a silence that lasted a couple of minutes as Alan thought heavily about what his father had said. Once Jeff's wishes had been put into context they actually made a lot of sense. Alan finally understood that his father only wanted what was best for him even if he didn't always go the best way about it. Alan walked to the window and looked out over the pool where his brothers were playing pool volleyball.
"Talk to me Alan." Jeff said gently. "What are you thinking?"
Alan continued to look out the window now studying the setting sun and he began to talk. Jeff had been honest with him and he felt that this father deserved the same. He told Jeff a lot of things that evening. Some Jeff already knew, there were some things that he had long expected and there were things that took him totally by surprise. He realised once again just how little he understood his youngest son. He knew that Alan felt like he was being punished by being sent away from home when Tin Tin and Fermat were allowed to stay and be home schooled. Alan explained that playing up at school made him feel like it was the only way to get some attention from his father; the only way to get him to actually come to the school. Alan had been too scared to try out for anything because he didn't think that his family would turn up to support him. After all, they had been to Scott's passing out parade for the Air Force, John's book presentation, Virgil's concerts and Gordon's Olympic race and ceremony. How on earth could Alan's achievements compare especially when everyone would have to come from such a long way to watch. Jeff was horrified what Alan in an empty tone that he had always felt like a mistake and his brother's teasing only emphasised that feeling. Why was there such a large gap between Alan and Gordon? The most between the others was the 26 months between John and Virgil.
At this statement Jeff was out of his chair and had his arms around Alan faster than the teenager could have thought possible of his middle aged father.
"Oh Alan." Said Jeff holding his youngest son tightly. "You are not a mistake. Lucy and I certainly didn't plan on any more children, so you a surprise but a great one. We never regretted having you for a single second and we didn't realise until we had you that our family was not complete. And if it makes you feel better we didn't plan on having Gordon or Virgil and you don't think that they are mistakes, do you?
Alan smiled and shook his head. The reassurance from his father had meant more than Alan had dared to believe. He took a deep breath.
"Okay dad, I have a proposition for you." He said. Jeff looked surprised and then worried. "I will go back to school and work to pick my grades up plus I'll join some after school clubs and get involved more. I will accept observance training and not going straight into full on missions – as long as we agree some sort of time table or scheme for my development. If, you let me join the motor cross team at school. It is something that means a lot to me. I have worked with them before as part of the mechanics class and they want me to join the team maybe, if I'm any good, as a rider. What do you think?"
Jeff could only look gobsmacked at his son. Up until three days ago he and Alan had done nothing but argue or ignore each other and now his son had turned around with a mature and considered argument. Jeff was seriously worried about his son's safety from joining the team but it was the first time, in a long time, that his son had shown a passion for anything.
He needs to test his wings and he needs to know that you trust his judgement. Let him fly. Whispered a lilac scented voice in his ear.
"Okay, I accept your proposition with one further condition." Jeff said smiling. "I want you to ensure that you speak either with me or one of your brothers every week and sent us a message every couple of days that everything is alright. I don't want to lose you, Alan."
"Thanks dad! You rock!" Yelled Alan enthusiastically throwing his arms around his laughing father. "And thank you for giving me the chance to explain myself and for trying to understand."
Jeff's eyebrows shot up in surprise. He had fully realised until that moment that all Alan needed was a bit of attention and empathy. Alan's brothers were so much of a part of his life that Alan couldn't be yet it wasn't any surprise that he felt left behind.
"Thank you for listening and talking to me and giving me an opportunity to be understanding." Said Jeff in reply. "I don't feel I deserve it but let this be a second chance for us both."
"What do you mean 'you don't deserve it'?" Demanded Alan loudly. "I haven't exactly been approachable the last couple of times I've been home."
Before Jeff could reply there was a gentle tap at the door.
"Come in." called Jeff giving Alan a gentle noogie that Alan laughingly attempted to avoid.
The door was pushed open slowly. The other four brothers were peering round the frame.
"Is everything alright?" Scott said. "We heard raised voices."
Jeff turned to Alan and said quietly: "Is there anything else you wanted to discuss?" Alan shook his head. "Okay, boys come in. We need to have a chat."
"Dad, can I go tell Fermat and Tin Tin?" Alan said quickly and enthusiastically.
"Sure Sprout." Jeff said laughing at the happy boy.
"Sweet!" Alan said before dashing from the room. "FERMAT!"
Please review – as this is my first story all points for improvement are very welcome! Also, I am very English and all I know about America is gained from Film and Television (therefore probably not overly realistic); I apologise if there are any glaring mistakes; please point them out and I will correct them! Thank you!