TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE?

By Ryan Rinkerman

Authors note: Most of this fic was written in February 2005. After letting it sit unfinished for years, I finally went back and completed it in March 2012. Special thanks to Homesnork, who graciously allowed me to use her fan-characters…and inspired me to go back and finish this story in the first place!

Casey sighed as she watched her shellevision. Her friend Dimmy had come over to visit, and they were watching the news together. The reporter, a blue Snork with thick glasses and curly black hair, straightened the stack of papers in his hand. "We're just three days away from the gubernatorial election, and with no other competitors, it seems like Governor Wetworth will keep his position!"

"It's the same every election!" Casey interjected. "That crooked creep Wetworth wins every time! Can't we get somebody honest to be governor?"

"An honest governor? I don't think those even exist!" Dimmy chuckled.

Casey turned the shellevision off. "Want to go for a walk, Dimmy?"

"Sure! Eel of Fortune isn't on for another hour, anyway!"

The two walked down the street and saw Allstar talking to a Snork they hadn't seen before. She was light purple with long blond hair, and wore a long, flowing blue dress with a blue sun hat. "Oh, hey fellas!" Allstar called to his friends. "I was just talking to the new Snork on the block! She just moved in a few days ago!"

"Why, hello there!" she exclaimed. "My name is Pris Sealady!"

"H-hi there, Pris!" Dimmy stammered. "My name's, uh…let's see…I know it had a 'D' in it…"

Casey stepped forward. "I'm Casey!" she said as she shook Pris's hand. "This is my friend, Dimmy!"

"Hi there, honey!" she smiled at Dimmy. "How are ya?"

"Who? Me?"

"Why, of course! Who else would I be talking to?"

"Uh…I don't know…"

"I have to go home, now!" Pris said. "But I'll see ya'll tomorrow!"

"Bye!" Allstar waved to her as she left. "It's too bad she couldn't stick around! You guys would've loved talking to her!"

"I guess so." Casey remarked. "What do you think of her, Dimmy?"

Dimmy had a giant smile on his face. "She's so pretty…"

Casey waved her hand in front of Dimmy's face. Dimmy didn't react. She snapped her fingers in front of him, and he still didn't do anything. Finally, Casey grabbed his snork and shouted into it. "DIMMY!"

"What? Did you say something, Casey?"

"You know, you're lucky that Daffney's out of town! What would she say to you if she saw you acting like this?"

"Duh, I don't know."

Allstar chimed in. "I'm going to shoot some hoops tomorrow! You guys want to join us?"

"Will Pris be there?" Dimmy asked hopefully.

"Yes, she will!"

"YES!" Dimmy pumped his fist in the air. "I'll be there!"

Casey shook her head. "I worry about him sometimes…"

The next morning…

Allstar, Tooter, and Pris were standing in the middle of an outdoor basketball court. Allstar wore a white shirt with a blue star, blue shorts, and black sneakers. Pris's T-shirt, shorts, and shoes were all dark blue, and her hair was tied in a ponytail. Tooter wore a referee's uniform, and held the basketball.

"Well, one team's all here…" Allstar looked around the field. "Where's the other?"

Dimmy swam to the field, wearing a yellow and black basketball uniform. He stood on the field exhausted, holding his chest as he tried to catch his breath. "Am…I…on…time…" he said between heavy breaths.

"You're fine!" Allstar told him. "You didn't have to rush! We would've waited for you!"

"I know…"

Just then, Casey swam to the field, in a green and white uniform. "Dimmy, could you slow down next time?" She paused to catch her breath. "You swam like a Snorkeater was after you!"

"Well, if I took too long, Pris might've left!"

Casey slapped her forehead. "Dimmy, you have to stop this! Daffney would be furious at you!"

"Who?"

"Let's just get to the court."

Dimmy and Pris swam to one side, Allstar and Casey to the other. Tooter honked loudly, and both teams swam to the ball. Casey grabbed the ball, dribbling it down the court.

"I'm open, Casey, I'm open!" Dimmy jumped and shouted.

She passed it to Dimmy, but Pris quickly swam in front of him, catching the ball in one hand. She then quickly threw it in the air behind her.

"You really think you could make a shot from the other side of the court?" Allstar asked.

The ball swished through her opponents' hoop.

"You were saying?" Pris smiled.

Dimmy ran to the ball, and tried to dribble it. He quickly lost control of the ball and it bounced away from him, heading for the other team. Allstar swam as fast as he could, but Pris was quicker, grabbing the basketball in mid-air. She jumped up, basketball in both hands, soaring over Casey's head. She dunked it in, hanging on the basket for a few seconds before letting go. She landed on her feet, smiling confidently as she pumped her fists in the air.

"Wow, Pris!" Allstar was impressed. "How do you do it?"

"How often do you practice?" Dimmy asked. "Were you on a team before?"

"Slow down, y'all! My little ol' brain can't think that fast!"

"Sorry, Pris! But you were so good out there!" Allstar remarked. Tooter whistled in agreement.

"Your little friend over here is pretty good!" Pris said, pointing to Tooter. "I can do some of that too, though!" With that, she began to whistle her own melody. Tooter smiled and nodded, then whistled right along with her. After a minute they stopped singing, Pris giving Tooter a high-five.

"Wow! What a beautiful duet!" Dimmy sighed. "Is there anything you CAN'T do?"

Pris turned to Dimmy. "Well, honey, I'm about to find out!"

"What do you mean?" Dimmy asked.

"Haven't you seen the posters I've been putting up? I've decided I'm going to run for governor of Snork Land!"

"What?" Allstar flinched in surprise. Tooter honked loudly, covering his mouth with one hand.

"You're joking, right?" Casey scratched her head. "Or are you REALLY running for governor?"

"Why not?" Pris shrugged. "Can't be all that difficult! I've got to get going…little ol' me has to campaign!"

As she swam off, Casey rubbed her chin. "Either Pris has REALLY taken a liking to Snork Land, or she's up to something."

The next morning, at city hall…

Gov. Wetworth relaxed in his chair. Today was the day the Snorks of Snork Land would cast their votes for governor. He figured since he was the only one running, he wouldn't have to campaign that hard. Suddenly, he heard the door swing open. "Dad! DAD!" Junior shouted, obviously worried.

"What is it, son?"

"We've got a problem! A BIG problem! We could lose the election!"

"Nonsense, Junior! I'm the only candidate!" he smiled confidently. "How could I lose?"

"There's somebody running against you! And she's got lots of support!"

"WHAT? Junior, this is not the time for jokes!"

"Look at the shellevision!" Junior and his father ran into the next room. The shellevision was on, broadcasting Pris's speech live. She was standing in a park, people crowded in front of her.

"And if your governor likes you so much, why isn't he out here talking to you? Vote for me today, and I'll give this city all the love it deserves!" Everyone applauded Pris as the governor angrily shut off the shellevision.

"Why are you just standing there, Junior! Print up some posters! Get them everywhere! I can't lose!"

Meanwhile, Casey and Dimmy were in the back of the crowd. Dimmy still had a wide grin. "Wow, she's a great speaker! Oh Casey…isn't she perfect?"

"Yeah, a little TOO perfect! I think something's fishy here!"

"Come on, Casey, give her a chance! Jo-Jo was a newcomer two years ago, and now he's one of our best friends!"

"Yes, but Jo-Jo didn't suddenly decide to run for governor of a town he barely knew! I think we should keep an eye on her!"

Dimmy crossed his arms. "Fine! But I still think Pris wouldn't do anything wrong!"

That night…

Casey & Dimmy stood in an alley. "Come on, Casey!" Dimmy pleaded. "Pris is so sweet, so gentle, so beautiful!"

"Sorry, Dimmy! I just have a bad feeling about her!" Just then, Pris walked past them. "Did you see her?"

"Yes, I've seen her…in my dreams, especially…"

Casey grabbed Dimmy's arm. "Just come with me!"

They watched as Pris looked left and right, making sure the coast was clear. She then swam out of the city limits. Casey and Dimmy followed, hiding behind coral and seaweed to stay out of her sight. Finally she approached a large, grayish-purple building. Casey instantly recognized it. "That's Dr. Strangesnork's lab! Why would she want to go there?"

The two stared into the window. Dr. Strangesnork was standing in his lab, with a wrench in his hand and a toolbox by his side. Casey & Dimmy watched as Pris walked up to him. "Hi there, honey!" she said. "I just can't wait for tomorrow!"

"Yes, tomorrow's a big day! Time to fix you up!" Dr. Strangesnork walked up to Pris's back. Dimmy watched as he took out a screwdriver out of his tool box.

"He's gonna slice her open!" Dimmy grabbed Casey. "We gotta save her!"

"I don't think that's what's happening, Dimmy!"

Dr. Strangesnork removed a section of Pris's back, revealing wires, blinking lights, and a small computer keyboard.

"Wow!" Dimmy's eyes grew wider than they already were. "That's a cool trick! Pris looks just like a robot!"

"Dimmy, she IS a robot!"

Dr. Strangesnork continued to talk to Pris as he typed on the keyboard. "Yes, you're my greatest creation, uh…what did I call you again?"

"My name's Pris, honey!"

"Oh! That's right! Now stay still! You have to be on your best for tomorrow!" Dr. Strangesnork removed a floppy disk labeled "Campaign Speech" from another section of her back, and inserted one reading "Acceptance Speech". He then closed up her back and opened her head, exposing a Sea-D player. He replaced the Sea-D with another one, then closed her head. "Now, how do you feel?"

"Oh, I feel wonderful, Dr. Strangesnork!"

"Good, good! You'll feel even better when you become the governor, and then turn power over to me! Together, we can rule, um… what was that place called?"

"Snork Land!"

"Ah yes! That was it!"

"This is worse than I thought!" Casey whispered. "We've got to think of a way to stop them before they take over the city!" They swam away quickly, before either of them were spotted. "OK, Dimmy! Do you have any ideas?"

Dimmy thought for a second. "I know! We could sneak inside the polling places and rip up all of Pris's votes!"

"That would take too long!"

"How about we buy a bunch of magnets, and then stick her to something so she can't get to city hall!"

"And where would we get these magnets?"

"Maybe we could tell her she won a free trip to the Arctic Ocean!"

"Maybe we should just sleep on it. We'll think of something tomorrow!"

The next morning…

The town was gathered in city hall to see who won the election. On stage was a podium with a microphone, and in front of it stood two Snorks. One was the curly-haired reporter, clutching a microphone. The other was a light blue girl, with pink hair and a tan cap, standing behind a video camera on a tripod.

"So it's our job to announce the winner…as if people are really wondering who won, eh Chris?" The reporter chuckled to himself as the camera girl pointed at the red blinking light on her camera's front. "A sea monkey could've run against that greedy goofball and won! It'll be nice to…" He finally noticed the camera's light. "Uh oh, are we on the air?" The camera girl nodded, and the reporter hastily cleared his throat. "Hey, Snork Land! This is Rio Reefman with your election coverage! Will Wetworth keep his chair, or will the dark seahorse candidate win it all? Stay tuned to find out!"

Allstar and Junior sat near the front. "Who do these guys think they are, voting for that bubble-brained newcomer?" Junior angrily asked. "What does Little Miss Perfect have that my father doesn't?"

"Sorry, Junior!" Allstar replied. "It'll take too long to go through the list!"

"Oh, very funny, Allwet! Too bad your girlfriend wasn't around to hear that knee-slapper!"

Allstar rubbed his chin. "Come to think of it, where is Casey anyway?"

Outside…

Casey and Dimmy were behind the building. "We've got to think of something!" Casey declared. "If she wins, we'll be run by an evil, greedy jerk who'll force us to work in his lab!"

"And if we stop her, we'll be run by an evil, greedy jerk who'll leave us alone!"

"Lesser of two evils, I suppose…" Casey thought for a moment. "I got it! Wait here and see if she shows up! I'm going to try and stall her!"

"Got it!" Dimmy nodded.

Casey went inside and wandered around the back corridors, trying to find Pris. She thought she heard talking coming from one of the rooms. Casey put her ear to the door and listened, hearing Pris's voice. "Why, I do believe we've won!"

"Yes, yes!" Another voice said approvingly.

"Uh-oh! Strangesnork is with her!" Casey thought to herself.

"Things seem to be going swimmingly…but be careful out there!" Dr. Strangesnork warned. "Wouldn't want you to overload!"

"Overload?" Casey wondered. "What could that mean?"

"Right!" Pris said. "I almost did at that basketball game!"

Now Casey was confused. "What in the whirlpool is she talking about?" Suddenly the door opened. Casey fell in, right at Pris's feet. "Uh, hi Pris! Just wanted to say good luck!"

"You overheard us!" Pris pointed her finger at Casey.

Casey got up. "No, I didn't hear anything you said!"

"You were snooping, honey! Why else would you lean on the door?"

Casey put her hands on her hips. "OK, so I was snooping! What are you going to do about it, honey?"

"Why, this!" A huge burst of glue shot out Pris's snork. The force knocked Casey to the wall, sticking her to it.

"I knew that glue gun would come in handy!" Dr. Strangesnork said. "Now get out there, so you can give a speech about being, uh…what was that called again?"

"Governor?"

"Oh! That's right!" The pair walked out as Casey struggled to free herself from the wall.

Meanwhile, Dimmy was tapping his foot outside. "It's been a long time…I haven't seen anyone! Maybe Casey needs a little more help!" He walked inside to look for his friend. Dimmy saw one of the doors was open, and walked in. "Casey!" He saw his friend stuck to the wall in a giant glob of glue. "How'd you get into this sticky situation?"

"Very funny! Now pull me off!" Dimmy grabbed Casey's left arm and pulled as hard as he could until it was free. He then pulled Casey's right arm off the wall.

"OK, get ready!" He grabbed both of Casey's arms and swam backwards. Casey was finally freed, and the two flew across the room, landing in a heap on the other side. "Oh, I'm free!" Casey said.

"Oh, I'm in pain…" Dimmy groaned.

Casey got off Dimmy. "Thanks! Now listen! Dr. Strangesnork told her not to overload, and Pris told her she almost did at the basketball game!"

"What's that mean?"

"I don't know. Was there anything that she had trouble with at the game?"

"Well, she had no problem swimming fast. And she made wonderful music. And she knew lots of great jokes. And she had beautiful eyes. And she had such a gorgeous voice. And she-"

"DIMMY!"

"Oh, whoops…well, when we asked her a bunch of questions, she told us her 'little old brain' couldn't think that fast!"

"Hmm…that gives me an idea! This had better work…"

Back on stage…

It was time to announce the winner. Governor Wetworth stood on the left of the stage, Pris on the right, Rio and Chris in the middle.

"Ladies and gentle-snorks, the results are in!" Rio adjusted his glasses as Chris stepped out from behind the camera. She handed him a folded piece of paper, then walked back as he hurriedly unfolded it. "Number of votes for Pris Sealady: 1,426! And number of votes for Wellington Wetworth: 4! Looks like we have a new governor!" The crowd cheered as Pris took a bow.

"I don't believe this!" Junior was furious. "I can't believe my father was beaten by some girl!"

"This is the eighties, Junior!" Allstar snapped. "Girls CAN do the job too!"

Junior ignored Allstar's comment. "That's not even the worst part! Now I won't be nearly as rich! My weekly allowance might actually be cut down to 1,000 clams!"

Allstar rolled his eyes. "You poor thing."

Casey and Dimmy ran up to Allstar. "Oh, look!" Junior said sarcastically. "It's Head-Case and Dimwit, fashionably late!"

"We didn't come for your insults, Junior!" Casey retorted. "We need both of you, right now!"

"Can it wait until Pris is done with her speech?" Allstar asked.

"That's what we're trying to stop! Come with me!" She grabbed Allstar's wrist and pulled him to the front. Junior followed behind, looking confused. "OK, now we all need to keep asking Pris questions! And don't let up!"

"Why are we doing this?" Allstar said, bewildered.

"You'll see…"

Dr. Strangesnork rubbed his hands backstage, waiting for Pris to announce that he would be the town's governor. "Ohh, this is perfect! I'm less than a minute away from ruling the town!"

The camera turned to Pris as she started her speech. "I want to thank you all for making me your new governor! Y'all are so sweet! Now, for my first order of business, I'll-"

"Hold on!" Allstar called out. "We want to ask a few questions!"

"Uh…this really ain't the best time…" Pris stammered.

Allstar began the line of questioning. "What's it like to beat Gov. Wetworth?"

Dimmy asked his. "How does it feel to get so many votes?"

"What are your plans for the budget?" Casey shouted.

"Will you try to lower sub tax?" Junior called out.

"Please slow down!" Pris told them. "I can't think that fast!" But the four kept going.

"Are you going to be tougher on crime?"

"Will there be any curfews in effect from now on?"

"Why does Jo-Jo have two snorks when we all have one?"

"Why did we switch our money over from sand dollars to clams?"

"If you could breathe underwater, where would you go?"

"If you had friends underwater, who would you know?"

"Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?"

"WHERE'S THE BEEF?"

"Stop…asking…so…SEA-P-U OVERLOAD!" Pris started to shake, then she fell apart, revealing wires and circuit boards. "Hi…there…honey…"

"Boy!" Allstar remarked. "I've heard of people falling apart under pressure, but that's ridiculous!"

The entire crowd was silent as Gov. Wetworth stared at the pile of metal on the stage. "What happens now?" the governor asked.

Rio stood for a second, thinking. "Well, since Pris is unable to govern the city…then you're the winner!" He shook the governor's hand as he whispered to the camera girl. "Hey Chris, is this ratings gold or what?"

"YES!" Junior jumped for joy. "I'm still rich!"

Dr. Strangesnork ran onstage. "No, no, no! How could this happen? She was supposed to give me the power! But no matter! I'll think of another plan, or my name isn't Dr., um…"

"SECURITY!" Gov. Wetworth shouted.

"Dr. Security! Wait…" Two burly Snorks grabbed Dr. Strangesnork and pulled him off stage. "I knew I should've went with the bigger Sea-PU…"

The next day…

Casey and Dimmy were walking the streets of Snork Land, the election posters still dotting the walls of the buildings. "What a wild couple of days. That's the last time I ever say we need a new governor!"

Dimmy sighed dejectedly. "Me too. But…I've been thinking about what you said, Casey! Even though I already had Daffney, I went crazy trying to get Pris's love! I feel terrible…like I've betrayed my true love!"

Just then, Daffney walked up to them, carrying a red suitcase. "Hi guys! Did I miss anything?"

Dimmy got on his knees. "Oh, Daffney! I fell in love with a robot, and she tried to take over the city, and she glued Casey to the wall, and then we had to blow her up with questions! I'm so sorry! Can you ever forgive me?"

Daffney scratched her head. "Uh…sure Dimmy, I forgive you." She turned to Casey and whispered, "What's he talking about?"

Casey shook her head. "It's a long story…"

THE END

LEGAL STUFF: The Snorks were created by Freddy Monnickendam, and Hanna-Barbera owns the rights to them. I, on the other hand, am just a dude who loves the Snorks enough to write about them. Character Pris Sealady copyright Ryan Rinkerman, 2005-2012. Characters Rio & Chris copyright Homesnork, 2012. All others copyright Hanna-Barbera and SEPP, 1984-1989.