Double Vision
A/N I am so, so sorry/dies. Here's the long awaited chapter you've been looking for.. I hope you're still interested.. THANKYOUTHANKYOU SO MUCH TO THOSE LOVELY REVIEWERS. All of you are amazing. And you guys who faved/alerted this, too. Still amazing. 3 List of pairings will be on the bottom of the story!~ Also, I believe the story is a little bit of an AU…which means OOCness is now normal. ^^
Warnings: South Park not being mine, the name of the cruise not being mine, somewhat NICE Cartman (le gasp!~) Biffles fo Liffles, guinea pigs, an embarrassed Stan, and 'unreasonable rules.' NOW FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS.
…augh, I don't know how to write in Gregory's POV…I need to rewatch his scenes… but until then ENJOY!~
x—Kenny's POV—x
Okay, two days after the visit to Token's house, we went over to the dock to check out the cruise ship. I sure hope I don't die from happiness, because I never seen anything like this- First of all, the ship was so huge, we didn't have to worry about bringing Cartman along! (Trust me when I say drowning isn't fun.) The S.S. Expensiveshit was not your average ship. Aside from being spacious, there's supposed to be a swimming pool, a hot tub in every room, a 24-hour Mexican food buffet (Clyde spazzed out worse than Tweek on caffiene) and according to the brochure I found at the Quik-E mart, all paid guests get free meals all day. And according to Token, we didn't have to pay.
Okay, whaddaya know, I did die, went to heaven, and came back.
So, we were all standing outside the dock, with our suitcases and stuff, waiting for the damn captain-person-leader-thingy to let us in so we could eat! I mean, to let us in, cause' I'm tired of standing, yeah.
"Ugh, how much longer?" whined Bebe. "My feet are killing me."
"Then w-why are you wearing h-high heels?" asked Tweek, curious and jittery.
"Because, silly! These aren't just any high heels, they're Jimmy Choo high heels!" she explained, or tried to explain.
"GAH! I-I still don't get it!" he yelled, while Craig calmed him down.
"Okay, Tweek. Breathe in, breathe out." he patted his back while Tweek gulped down more coffee. Suddenly, a man with shaggy black hair and a tacky captain's uniform came out of the ship. He was holding a megaphone. Oh wait, isn't he-
"Does this thing work? Testing, 1, 2- Oh, good afternoon my people! Attention everyone! My name is Captain Marsh and I'm on a boat! But please, feel free to call me Randy!"
Okay, at times like this I wish I had a camera, because the look on Stan's face was priceless.
"W-What? This cannot be happening to me! Dad, what the hell?" said Stan, an embarrassed look on his face. We cracked up, Cartman being the loudest.
"Oh god, you've gotta be shitting me!" he snorted.
"Oh, hey son! I didn't expect to see you here! Everyone, this is my son, Stan Marsh! Wave to my people, Stanley!"
Stan hid behind Kyle as the crowd laughed at his embarrassed face, including me. Look, I'm sorry, but you should've been there! His face probably put a tomato to shame!
"Alrighty then! All of you were assigned to a cabin, the room number is printed on your ticket. Also, you should've gotten a key or something, so you might wanna look out for that. All guests will receive free meals (TOLD YA!) and will have access to many of our services, such as mini-golf or the swimming pool. Animals, drinking while driving, and smoking are definitely not allowed, of course. The rest you'll have to see for yourselves. Step right up and I hope you enjoy your stay at SS Expensiveshit!"
We were pretty far back in line, and the people moved ahead gradually, so we decided to converse while waiting.
"No drinking while driving? We're on a cruise ship, for the love of- Ugh! He always does this, embarrassing me, this time might've been a little too far!"
"It's okay Stan, he won't be bothering us, he'll be busy navigating the ship, right? So he won't- wait a minute, your dad's controlling this thing? Oh god…" Kyle almost facepalmed, not doing a great job of staying on the positive side.
"O-Oh hamburgers, you guys! This'll be fun, you'll see! I mean, now that you think about it, none of us actually been on a cruise before, right?" said Butters, trying to help the situation.
"Yeah, I suppose you're right, Butters. Not to be rude or anything, but why are you here again? I thought you were afraid you'll get grounded or something." said Wendy.
"O-oh, well, Kenny said I should! And my parents were actually glad I was leaving for a while," he replied. Yup, he's right, I didn't want him to get all lonely or anything, not that I cared.
As the line shortened, and we were almost to the ship, I couldn't help but think of who I'll hang out with during the whole trip. I mean, Stan's got Kyle, Wendy probably hates me (Which I really don't get because I'm Kenny McCormick, every girl loves me! Maybe it's because I tried to grope her on the way to history class…), Butters might be around Tweek considering they're both loners (actually, I shouldn't be talking), and Craig has his little 'gang'. That leaves out Cartman, and no way in hell am I hanging out with Cartman the whole time!Sure, we kinda got along when we were little, but…he's Cartman…yeah…
Fine. He'll be like, Plan Z or something. Anyways…
Wait a minute, I forgot about Bebe. Why haven't I thought of it before, we're practically twins! She loves partying, I love partying. She's labeled as a whore (even though she's not), I don't need a label! I'm pretty sure she likes me, too… I think. Oh would you look at that, we're next in line! And apparently the conversation was about how llamas were related to alpacas. Yeah, I don't know either.
x-No POV-x
12 room keys, 2 arguments and 1 bitch-slap later…
The entire group went off to find their rooms, except for Cartman, who wasn't paying much attention. When they left him, he was outraged, furious…and worst of all, confused.
"Great, now how the fuck am I supposed to know where they are?" He thought. He could ask for directions, but that would've been embarrassing. The fatass (I'm BIG BONED, JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST! Stupid author…) decided to find out where the rooms are by himself, to prevent humiliation.
"Okay, maybe you go through there…oh wait, I've been there already, okay maybe- hold up, that's the restaurant. Gotta remember that for later, though. Maybe- aw damnit, I'm lost!"
He said the last part out loud, earning a few stares. He didn't give two shits, though, and continued walking until he found a guy reading a book. That's what caught his eye- I mean, who reads in a cruise ship, anyways? Does he not see the arcade, swimming pool, movie theater, and other various forms of entertainment?
"Eh, what a loner." Shrugging, Cartman decided to ask him for help, because 1, he was getting sick of looking like an idiot, and 2, he wanted to make fun of him.
"Hey, you. With the chick novel."
The guy reading had pitch black hair, uncovering his face by removing the book. He looked slightly annoyed.
"What?"
"Um. Do you know where the rooms are?"
The other boy huffed. "Why are you asking me? And there's a map near the restaurant, you know. I would've expected you to see it…how sad."
Cartman grew red. "HEY! I am NOT fat, I'm big-boned! And just tell me, you asshole!"
"Fine, fine. Go through that hallway, take a right. Keep going until you reach the end of the boat. Turn right again and ta-da, you're there. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm trying to finish my novel in peace."
"Okay then…thanks, er, I never got your name- HOLY SHIT IS THAT YOU?" Cartman forgot about asking for directions and stared miraculously as the other boy, mouth wide open.
Damien, however, just laughed in disbelief. "I was hoping you'd figure out sooner or later. I don't look THAT different, do I?"
Cartman's brain still repeated "No fucking way" over and over, still shocked.
"But..but.. I can't believe you're here! On the same cruise as me! How likely is that? No fucking WAY!" he said, unable to contain his joy. Eventually, they man-hugged, asking eachother why they're here and how fate loved them so and where had the other been. In case you haven't already noticed, Damien and Cartman got along quite well because they have devious minds(and no other frien- I mean what). They always hung out in school, until Damien had to go back to Hell to take over his father's place as King of Evil himself. Apparently being Satan was such a tedious job, and he took a 'short' vacation. Damien had to take over until he came back, which was a couple months. Stupid Satan and his stupid conventions…
"I'm here because no one else in South Park took me seriously…plus, a little vacation couldn't hurt, could it?"
"Nope! I'm here because Token's sharing his fortune for once! Man, I wish I could have that much money…"
Another sly grin appeared on the devil's face. "Hmm… how about we both make some money of our own?"
Cartman grinned as well. "Now THIS is what I'm talkin' about! That's it, from this day on, we're going to be BIFFLES FO' LIFFLES, you hear me?"
"Yes, yes! And we'll show those fools that we CAN be terrible!" said Damien, fist-bumping the other boy before both of them heading towards the cabins. "Erm, what exactly is a 'biffle,' anyways?"
"Okay, it stands for BFFFL, which stands for BEST FRIENDS FOR FUCKING LIFE!" yelled Cartman, still unaware of the people staring at him.
"Ah, I see. Now how about you unpack, and I'll tell you about my little money-making scheme?"
Cartman sniffled. "T-this could be the start…of a beautiful new friendship…"
Damien cackled, putting his arm around him. "But Cartman, it already started!"
They both maliciously cheered and went towards Cartman's room to plan out their evil deeds.
x-Craig's POV-x
"Okay, there you go…"
I watched my little guinea pig scurry around happily in the cage. Poor Stripe, she had to be stuffed in my hoodie for a while. I'm surprised she didn't suffocate…
"HEY EVERYONE I'M HEREEE!" yelled Clyde as he rushed through the door. Stripe scurried around some more, picking up the pace.
"Shut up, you're annoying her. And not because of your face this time." I scoffed.
"Heey, you brought him? And there's nothing wrong with my face! You're just jealous that the chicks don't dig you as much as they love me." Clyde walked into his room with a smug grin. I rolled my eyes.
"First of all, Stripes a girl. I just said that, dumbass. Second of all, of course I had to! There's no one back home to take care of her, really. And they don't 'dig' you; they just want you to buy them shoes."
Clyde gasped dramatically, earning another eyeroll from me. "C-Craig! How could you say that! We're bros!"
I just continued setting up the cage, after flipping him off.
"Shouldn't you be with Kevin or something?"
Clyde scoffed. "You're just trying to get rid of me! Oh, and he's unpacking. RIGHT KEV?" he said/yelled.
It was that moment I decided to not even bother continuing the conversation. Clyde decided to leave me and Token's room. Our entire area is split into 3 separate areas- there were 2 bedrooms, 2 people per room. In the middle was just a living room. There was a TV in every room. As long as I get my Red Racer marathon (personal space wouldn't hurt, either,) I really didn't care.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to secretly cuddle with my baby until someone walks in.
-Gregory's POV-(accents not written, sorry)
"Christophe, put that out right now! You know you can't smoke here!"
The taller male sighed, but put it out anyways.
"I don't see why not, such an unreasonable rule!" I rolled my eyes.
"Remind me why I am here again?" he said, after getting rid of the cigarette.
I grinned. "You're on this cruise because you have been working way too hard! Seriously, you never relax! And you won't even tell me your job, making this harder for me. So that's why you're going to have fun for once!"
"But my work is fun!" he groaned.
"Well, what do you do?"
"That is classified!" I sighed.
"Fine! Hey, where's the map? I don't even know where our room is." I said, looking around the ship. He rummaged through his pockets.
"I thought you had it?"
"What, I gave it to- Oh great. I guess I'll go ask someone for directions, then. Be right back."
I kept walking around until I found 2 guys that looked my age, they were both carrying armfuls of snacks.
"So…what do these Cheesy Poofs have to do with our plan?" asked the one with black hair.
"Psh, Cheesy Poofs are like the answer to life, man! Oh, and it's because I can't think on an empty stomach, that's why!" said the fat one.
"I would facepalm, but my arms are full." replied his friend.
"Ey!" said the fat one again.
I approached them, trying not to stare at the massive amount of snacks they got.
"Excuse me, I was wondering if you know where the rooms are?" I asked politely.
"Uh, yeah we're going there right now actuall- WOAH HOLD UP! IS THAT YOUR FRIEND BACK THERE?"
"The one with a ciga- Wait a minute! Oh, I mean- him? Yes, why?"
Unfortunately I had no time to finish, he was already running towards Chris. The guy with black hair (and..are those red eyes?) looked just as confused as I was. We both shrugged and decided to go after his friend.
"No way! Just, no way! TWO in one day? I totally hit the jackpot! Fate DOES love me! SUCK IT KAHL! Mole, I can't believe you're here!"
"Chris, do you know him?" I asked, still confused. He grinned.
"Oui. When I went to South Park, I met him and became acquaintances. His name is-"
"Eric Cartman, baby! But please, call me Cartman. Oh and also, we weren't 'acquaintances', we were freaking buddies! Who are you?"
Okay, so they did know eachother. "I'm Gregory, pleased to meet you. Who's ...he?"
"Okay guys, I want you to meet my biffle fo' liffle Damien. He's, like, one of the only people who's good enough to be MAH friend! Oh, you too Mole! Just don't piss him off and you're good to go!"
Damien cackled (Okay, his red eyes are seriously freaking me out). "Nice to meet you both…but like he said, it would be wise not to 'piss me off'."
Cartman grinned again, "See? We're all gonna get along! Say, why don't we include Mole here in our plan?" he nudged Damien.
"Yes, yes, but that depends on how devious you are," he replied.
"Oh trust me, he's devious alright. Did you know he has a shovel with him at all times? And I mean all times! And you wouldn't BELIEVE how much fun his job is!" We all glanced at Chris. He smirked.
Wait, this guy knows about his job? Why didn't Chris tell me? I thought we told eachother everything! Oh well, I'm used to the feeling of being excluded. But what does that guy have that I don't?
Shut up, Gregory. You sound like a teenage girl.
"Hmm…Close enough, I suppose. Now hurry up and unpack, you two, and we'll meet back in Cartman's room to discuss our plans. It's Room 125, by the way. See you soon!" Damien grinned evilly while he and Cartman walked back to his room, still carrying snacks. I sighed.
Maybe I should've gotten us plane tickets instead…
a/n OKAY. I hope that was good enough! :D Feel free to leave ANY suggestions, reviews, or preferably, your own cruise adventures! Cause um, I actually never been on one. ._. So I have to rely on pictures and other people's experiences to make this sorta realistic…heh…
If I didn't mention this, this WILL have a main plot but won't stay in one setting. For example, Craig and Clyde could have a fight in Chapter 3, but it lasts all the way to Chapter 5. (don't worry they won't actually have a fight XD I hope…) Each chapter is either a new destination or the cruise ship, usually alternating.
I don't wanna give out the whole pairing list because I like surprises, but if you ask me about a pairing or tell me your OTP, I'll tell you if they're in the story or not, and if it's one-sided or a full relationship! c: I may even squeeze in moments for your OTP! :D But only if you ask~
Have a nice day and THANK YOU for reading!~