Abused: Chapter 8

Castiel had never driven so fast in his entire life,driving to Lawerence,Kansas which would probably take him days,but hey he didnt give a rats ass, he needed to know exactly what had happened that night to cause Dean to flip out, he was never going to be with him again that was a definate but needed some answers,some closure atleast.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket,he reached into his pocket making sure to keep one hand on the wheel.

"Hello?"

"Cas where the hell are you i've been trying to call you for about an hour?"

"Anna, i'm sorry something came up...I err,kinda stole your car-"

"what the fuck...Cas what's going on,just come by the store,we can talk about this."

"I can't I love him Anna,and I need answers,please don't come looking for me,promise me you'll stay out of this."

"Oh you have got to be kidding me..Cas he's a pyscho,he's not worth the bother,do you really want to go down this road again,he will kill you...now come home."

Cas kept his eyes on the road,the sky turning grey,it was going to poor it down "I'm sorry Anna,I can't"he hung up the phone throwing it to the seat next to him.

The line went dead.

Anna widened her eyes "Argh shit"she pulled herself up leaving her shift early,having no idea where Cas would even be heading,but she had a feeling one person would know,it was risky but she had a plan.

Castiel hadn't been to Lawerence,Kansas since the first time Dean had introduced him to the family,this was certainly going to be an awkward conversation,but it had to be done if he was to learn the truth. He wasn't even sure if this was the right place,he knew Dean's family moved around alot,but this was the last known address that he remembered.

Pulling up he familarized himself with the particular street, he sighed walking up the porch,he rang the bell standing back he waited.

The door spun open,there stood Jessica Moore,in next to nothing,skimpy top and a mini skirt,she leant up against the door staring up at Cas.

Cas frowned recognising her straight away,Sams girlfriend. Good he was at the right place.

"Erm...hi you probably don't remember but-"

Jess cut him off,lighting a cigarette taking a short drag from the tip "I remember you...your Dean's fuck buddy."

Cas slipped his hands into his jean pockets looking down "we were a little more than that."he muttered quietly.

Jess rolled her eyes uninterested "right...so what do you want?"

Cas let out a heavy sighed looking up at her now "well I actually came to find Sam or erm Deans dad"he couldn't remember his name.

Jess gritted her teeth angrily at the mention of Sam "What Dean didn't tell you,Sams dead,he's been dead for months actually."

Cas frowned,his eyes suddenly widening "What...how?"

Jess turned herself away from him "why don't you ask your boyfriend,its his fault." she sighed heavily "if you want John,this is his cell,can't see him wanting to talk to you though." she handed him a business card "Now get the fuck away from me."

She slammed the door in his face leaving him even more confused than when he first arrived.

He returned to the car sitting there for a moment,completely lost,he gazed at the business card contemplating just calling it,even just to offer his condolences. He dialled the number and put the phone to his ear,praying for an answer.

"John,John Winchester? I this is erm...a friend of your sons, I have something I think you might want...can you meet me?"

"Where?" he asked bluntly.

"Erm well i'm not really that familar with the area,so maybe you should pick."

"go to the first motel you find as you leave the city,come in hour,then we'll talk." He didn't recognise Castiels voice over the phone so wasn't going to refuse.

Cas nodded "one hour then" he hung up and sighed getting about a dozen missed calls from Anna, he rolled his eyes feeling selfish for not letting her in,but this was for her own protection.

Castiel pulled up at the first motel he could find,finding an SUV parked up outsside,John Winchester standing right outside it,he always used to scared him,the frist time he met him,and he knew he never approved of his and Deans relationship.

Castiel pulled out of the car when he parked "I know you probably don't want to see me but,this is important."

"Your damn right I don't,you ripped our family apart."

Cas looked down his lips quivering,shaking his head "NO...I didn't you just couldn't accept that fact that Dean was different, you know a man loving another man isn't wrong,its actually quiet normal."

John scoffed "It's not natural...and he was never like this until he met you,youmanipulated him,you changed him."

Castiel shook his head "say what you want about me,but Dean has always been like this,all he wanted was acceptance,I think I get now."he took a deep breath,feeling intimidated by John "anyways thats not why I dragged you here,I need to know what happened between Sam and Dean a few months ago"he nodded"by the way im sorry about Sam,I didn't know."

John glared at him "what happened was Dean murdered his own brother...in cold blood,shot him,because of you."

Tears began to sting his eyes shaking his head,not believing him "no...your lying,he wouldn't kill anyone,Deans not a killer."

"Well clearly you don't know him like you thought you did,cause he killed him,you know how I know,I made a deal to bring him back,it wasn't a supernatural death,so I got no deal now i have to live with the fact that both my sons are dead to me,do oyu know whats that like,losing a member of your family?"

Castiel rubbed his quivering lips still shaking his head,in denial even knowing how he abused and battered him he couldn't quite believe Dean was capable of taking a human life "I...I don't believe it."

John frowned "you really didn't know did you?" he let out a little chuckle "well i'll be damned,good luck to ya kid,cause your going to need it."he climbed back into his SUV "send him my love won't you."he slammed the car door,reversing out.

Castiel took a deep breath suddenly feeling responsible for all this,if he had never met Dean he probably would be happy,Dean wouldn't be a pyscho and his brother would still be alive,this was all his fault.

He got back in his car started the engine feeling like he had just wasted a journey.

He was back home,finally,driving through his small surbarbian town he pulled up outside Dean's,he hadn't stopped sobbing the whole journey back.

Stepping up towards the porch he hesistantly went to knock,the door slightly ajar he swung the door open slightly stepping inside the house.

Dean sat holding a bottle of whiskey in his hand,he was a complete mess.

Cas stood there in the middle of the living room looking down at him "is it true?"he asked in a panicked tone staring back at the man he once loved,he looked as though he had been drinking all night.

Dean took a swig from the bottle staring into space "what da fuck you talking about?"

Cas really didn't want to cross this line,he knew this would change things between them forever. "Did you kill your brother?"

Dean managed to lift his head to look back at Cas, he spoke no word but the look on his face said it all.

"Son of a bitch..."he felt like he was going to be sick "so you punished me because you couldn't live with it,do you know your family blame me this,your the killer yet it's my fault."

Dean sat there frozen on the floor"it's not your fault...Cas none of it is."he put his head in his hands quietly sobbing away.

Cas looked down at him with disguist at first,shaking his head "yeah well i'm glad you can finally be honest with yourself...but you remember what I said,your not a killer Dean,it was an accident..I know you better than anyone Dean,you were the sweetest and loyal and kindest person i've ever known,you stood up for us when people used to put us down,you believed in us when no one else would."he smiled taking a step forward. "The last few months have a fucking nightmare for me...but I know that wasn't you,I stuck by you because I knew you would see sense...I believe in you Dean and i'll never give up on us."

Dean closed his eyes the bottle falling out of his hand watching as it rolled away the golden liqueur pouring out of it.

Cas stopped the bottle with his foot and let out a heavy sigh. He walked over to him helping him out "come on lets get you to bed." he put Deans arm round his shoulder dragging him to the bedroom, laying him down on the bed then tucked him in. "sleep my love,it'll all be okay tomorrow,we'll get you the help you need."

The next morning Cas still sat holding a mug of very strong coffee in his hands sat by Deans bedside,he had been knocked out for 12 hours,but then an overdose of alcohol would do that to you. He sat up as he heard Dean waking up.

Dean groaned trying to lift his head,it felt as though someone had hit him over the head with a ton of bricks.

"take this..it'll help clear the head."

Dean frowned,letting out a small moan as he slowly turned his head "Cas? What the hell are you doing here?"

"You don't remember last night?"

Dean shook his head "well clearly not otherwise I wouldn't ask?"

Castiel rolled his eyes pulling himself up opening up the curtains to get some light in "you were smashed,after our failed breakfast date I came back to see you,you were smashed but then I shouldn't be surprised,you've been drinking alot lately."

Dean slowly pulled himself feeling like the whole room was spinning "oh quit lecturing me,your not my dad."

Castiel looked out the window and sighed "I'm just saying I know yo-"

Dean just laughed,cutting him off "oh save me the 'I know you better than anyone' crap,because you don't have a fucking clue,you don't know what i've been through."

Castiel turned to give him a look "trust me Dean I know what you've been through, I had to live with it for the last couple of months."he raised his voice,he let out a small sigh trying to remain calm "it took me 6 months to realise how twisted you really were and yeah I was probably stupid for coming back,I just wanted to help you get better."

Dean rolled his eyes having to force himself up "SEE THATS WHAT PISSES ME OFF ABOUT YOU"he yelled "your always desperate to help people,see the good in everyone,well newsflash sparky not everyone is good theres always a bad apple"

"You are,i've seen it,i've seen how good your heart is."

Dean rolled his eyes at him "Just shut up Cas,just stop it."

Cas held his hands up,giving up "you know what,screw this...you can't see it then fine,I won't bother wasting my time,i'm leaving."he stormed out heading straight for the front door, he ran his hands through his hair angrily.

Dean stood there for a moment trying to get his balance, his becoming fuzzy as he stumbled towards the front door, Cas had made it to the porch now. He hurried after him pulling him back "Cas don't walk away from me."

Cas let out a heavy groan and rolled his eyes "Dean,get the hell away from me,just don't bother." There were plently of people outside now,this was probably wasn't going to end well.

Dean grabbed him by the wrist"Get the fuck inside...please"he said through gritted teeth, he placed a hand against Castiels waist pulling him close to him "don't make me force you inside."

Cas looked down at his arm,feeling like Deans hard grip would crush his bones "No." it took alot of courage for him to stand up to him.

Dean pursed his lips together gritting his teeth together once more,dont test me. He thought to himself, he raised his arm up high slapping Cas hard across the cheek,the force of it cause Cas to fall to his knees "Get up..." when Cas didn't oblige right away he pulled him up,tugging at his hair pulling his head back "Don't ever answer me back again". He shoved him towards the house "get inside."

Cas felt his cheek sting,he panted heavily feeling like he was back to square one,doing as he asked now he made his way towards the front door.

Dean cleared his throat a brooding look on his face,he glanced up to the couple standing in the house next door,eyeing him up, he rolled his eyes,wiped his forehead and headed back towards his own house,pushing Cas inside the house.

Just like old times then.