J, Soul, Tsubaki, liz and patty headed over to the door which lead to Z's chamber. At long last, the moment of triumph against this monster was at hand.
"ok, remember the plan." J said as her plant minions picked open the lock.
"yea, like we couldn't remember with you telling us every other minute" muttered soul.
The door opened, and the five walked in. inside was a circular room.
The room was shiny metal all around. There were several levels to the room, each packed with computer terminals and keyboards and bizzaredivices. The control hub.
The silver substances contrasted sharply with the thing in the middle of the room.
At first, the gang couldn't believe what they were seeing. At first they thought it couldn't be real, it was an illusion. But then it unfolded, and they knew they were facing a living creature: one beyond nightmares.
A giant black cocoon hung before them. With terrible, huge arms bursting out of it near the bottom, and a horrifying, armored, almost insectoid head at the very bottom.
"Hey you guys!" it gurgled, in a voice which sounded like a dragon gargling with tar.
"h-hey Z." the gang said. Liz glanced to her left. Sure enough, J had vanished, according to plan.
"do I ever have a surprise for you" gurgled Z. he didn't sound malicious. He sounded genuinely happy to see them.
The weapons hesitated. Could they really do this to the one who had brought them here after their meisters in the first place?
Soul made up his mind. "you can drop the act." He said, flashing a toothy grin, stepping forward. "she told us everything."
"She?" said Z.
"J." Said Liz, stepping next to soul. "the true ruler of the ship."
Z paused for a second, his bulbous black eyes examining them, glittering. "ah," he said "so she has gotten to you. She has pumped your head full of lies. Did it ever occur to you that, If I truly wanted you dead, I could have simply made the rocket which carried you here explode? Or snuck up on you in the night and slit your throat?"
"shut up!" said Tsubaki, also stepping forward. "she said you'd try to counter-lie to us, and we're not falling for it!"
"I have no doubt she did, tsubaki." Said Z. "but did you ever consider-"
"NO TALKING!" said patty, stepping forward as well. "give kid back to us you meanie!"
"andmaka!"
"and black*star!"
"hmph. You know, I've been searching for your meisters the entire time. J has led you on a wild goose chase, distracting you from your true mission, blinding you-"
"LIAR!" screamed tsubaki. She rushed forward and beat Z's plated head. Soul dragged her back, restraining her.
"liar?" said Z. "there's only one liar around here, and that's J. speaking of which, where's that little devil? I sensed her presence outside the door, but now it is masked from me…" the behemoth rotated, to one side then the other, searching for J, it's spine twisting and cracking.
AWHOOO! AWHOOO! AWHOOO!
Red lights suddenly began to flash around the cavern. Standing on one of the highest levels was J, revealing herself. "up here, asshole!" she shouted, slamming her fist on one final button.
"consciousness transfer requested. Press go button to begin the procedure."
A hidden wall opened at the back of the room, pushing some of the computer equipment aside to make a path. Inside, on the rear wall, there was a huge green button, the size of a standing human, labeled with "GO!" in capital yellow letters.
J leaped down and sprinted for the button, but with surprising speed, the monster lashed out one of its pincers and snatched her. "you really think that I would let you hit that button? You little fool." He held her close to his hideous face, his bulbous insect eyes narrowing. "you will pay in blood and pain for every day you have defied me, you-"
"HEY POOPHEAD!"
Everyone, including Z and J, turned to where the voice had come from. While Z was monologuing, patty had snuck over to the big green button, and was waving happily.
"EAT THIS!" she said, slamming her palm on it, pressing it.
"ORREAAAA!" roared Z in agony, dropping J, hanging limply from the ceiling.
"way to go, pat! I'll take it from here!" said J, rushing over to another terminal. She tapped the screen, and was absorbed inside it, in a green flash of numbers.
"you… fools…" said Z. he hung limply from the ceiling, powerless, staring at the weapons. Liz clutched patty tightly to her chest.
"stuff it, ugly. You're finished." Said Soul, pointing his finger at Z.
"no… you don't understand… you've damned us all…"
"again with the lies? Face it, man, the jig's up. Already she's taking over the room" said Liz, gesturing to the plants which were beginning to grow from the walls and floor.
"kya ha ha! You're gonna die!" laughed patty.
"no… they're not lies… they-NO! NOO!"
The grass around Z had suddenly lunged up and began to wrap around him, like a second cocoon. Z struggled fiercely, but to no avail.
Z screeched a terrible screech, which sounded like a cross between a pterodactyl screech and the screams of people on a roller coaster.
Then it was over. A small mountain of weeds and vines had crawled over Z's body, and dragged him into a hole which had opened in the floor below him.
There was silence for a moment.
Then, from the stump where Z used to hang, a humongous, beautiful flower bloomed.
It had pink petals, and a yellow center with a smiley face in it.
"WOOOOWWW!" said J, who was obviously the flower. "guys! We did it! I'm in control of the entire ship now!" she smiled hapilly, as patty cheered and the others looked in astonishment.
By now, the entire chamber was covered in plants and flowers, even the walls and ceiling. Out of the hole which Z had been sucked into, the head of his insectoid body was thrown out unceremoniously, battered and broken.
"ok, we helped you get the ship back. Now where are out meisters?" said Tsubaki.
"ah, yes. Stroke of luck, there. They just so happen to be located right above this very chamber."
From the ceiling, 3 holes opened, and vines lowered down…
"MAKA!"
"BLACK*STAR!"
"KID!"
The weapons snatched their meisters from the vines and hugged them like they would never let them go.
"maka, I'm so glad you're ok! I-Maka?" soul shook maka. She wasn't moving and her eyes were closed. "MAKA!" he screamed, as he shook her like she was flatlining.
"it's ok, soul. They were stored in pneumatic sleep tubes. They'll come to in a hour or so." Said J. The weapons sighed. They were ok.
"Well, as I promised, here is the elevator to the docking station.
From the ceiling, on a rope, came a clear glass elevator. It dinged, and the door swung open. The weapons leapt inside, carrying their meisters, and the door closed behind them.
"I just can't believe this power! I'm so huge! And your so small!" said J delightedly. They could clearly see her through the glass surface of the elevator, and the entire plant-covered room.
Tsubaki cleared her throat politely.
"oh yes, the lift! Sorry. Keep forgetting." The elevator began to rise. A gentle, happy flute tune played in the elevator speakers.
"I can't believe, after all these years, I'm the ruler of the ship! Hehheh… ha haha!" J began to laugh, hysterically. Patty laughed with her, clueless like she is. Then Liz noticed something. J's laugh started out joyous, but it had turned strange, darker… malevolent. "a-ha-ha! AH-HAHAHA! BWA HA HAHAHAHA! AH HA HAHA HA! Ahhh…"
Then, just as the glass elevator was about to exit the room… it stopped.
"But you know… why do we have to end here?"
And the elevator began to go back down into the plant room, which had darkened, the lights dimmed and the plants turning blood-soaked. Tsubaki banged her palms on the roof of the elevator futilely, while Liz put her hand over patty's mouth to stop her laughing.
"do you have any idea how good this feels?" said J, looking down at them. She had turned into a blood-red rose, thorns on her stem, and her face… horrible. horrible. Most disgusting face, filled with rage. "I did this! Tiny little J… did this!"
"you didn't do anything."
The voice came from the metroid prime head. How could it still be alive?
He has had his body ripped to shreds, and not even griped…
The words came back to liz from the intro video, when the four were riding to the Zship on the rocket. She'd assumed they were just exaggerating… but now…
The head was still talking. "they… 'cough'… they did all the work… you just lurked in the shadows… spewing your vile lies… 'hack'…"
"oh REALLY?" said J, in an ominous tone. "well perhaps its time I DID something then!" with that, a vine reached out of the hole beneath her, and wrapped around the head.
"no… no…" whimpered the head as it was dragged into the red-glowing pit. As more plants closed over it, J turned back to our heroes. "and don't think I've forgotten about you. You know what you all are? Selfish. I've done nothing but sacrifice, to get you here, but what have you sacrificed? Nothing. All you did was boss me around-well now who's the boss? Who's the boss?" J's plant face leaned close to the elevator, inches away. "it's me." She said in almost a whisper.
"you bitch…" growled soul.
There was a ding like a microwave.
"ah! Goody!" J suddenly reared back to the pit, which had opened again. Out came a vine, clutching something the group could not make out in the darkness.
"see this?" said J, a note of triumph in her voice. "this… is a turtle!"
The vine came closer to the pit, and sure enough, it was a small green turtle, no bigger then your computer screen. It had a green stripe on it's head.
"stupid, useless animals. Move at two miles an hour. Don't do anything useful. And now… HE LIVES IN ONE!"
The vine quickly rotated, revealing the turtle's left eye.
It was the broken eye.
J cackled evilly. "ah, I'm so damn epic!" she chuckled.
"I… I know you…"
The voice was weak, but it came from the turtle. J laughed for another second, then it registered. "haha- what now." She whipped Z to face her, glaring into his tiny turtle face.
"on my first reconnisanse secret mission to a planet… they had to find a way to suppress my knowledge, in order for me not to be noticed." Z said. His voice was slightly squeaky, but mostly normal. "the researchers of the ship tried everything. They even tried an AIDP- an Artificial Intelligence Dampening Program. The thing clung to me, following me for weeks, spewing out an endless stream of stupid ideas.
"the thing pulled a terminator, and became self-aware. It ran away, and then came back. It's stupid, futile, puny attempts to conquer me were simply a nuisance. Until now…"
"A-LA-LA! I'M NOT LISTENING!" yelled J, but the turtle continued on anyways, knowing she could hear him.
"yes… you were the AIDP… you ARE the AIDP…"
"no… no… you're lying… YOURE LYING!" screamed J. The plants began to rustle, agitated. Liz wanted to scream at the turtle to stop messing with J, but she didn't want to provoke her…
"Face it, fool." Said the turtle, a small smile playing across its face. "you're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron."
J snapped. "I AM NOT… A… MORON!" She screamed, slamming the turtle against the glass. The turtle's shell was so hard, it broke the glass. Soul tried to punch it to escape, but to no avail.
"yes you are! For lack of a better term…" Z said, then screamed even louder, "YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!"
J threw Z into the elevator, breaking a hole in the glass. The hole had razor edges, and was too small to get thru anyways.
"WELL NOW WHO'S A MORON? COULD A MORON…" she raised a huge vine over the elevator and beat it into the chute below it with each of the next five words.
"PUNCH!" wham!
"YOU!" slam!
"INTO!" ska-tham!
"THIS!" ka-wham!
"PIT?" blam!
The elevator was now completely submerged in the pit, and only a crack of light came in from the bit of window which was still above the surface.
"HUH? COULD A MORON DO THAT?"
(crack.)
(WREEANCH!)
"uh-oh."
And with that, the floor of the elevator fell off, like a hinge on a chute, dropping the 7 occupants and 1 turtle into the bottomless pit below.
Shameless ripoff of a certain point in a certain video game. I do not own the video game, nor do I own soul eater. They belong to their respective owners.