Liz woke.

Every part of her body ached. She didn't want to open her eyes, but she could tell she was in a sitting position. Miraculous landing. There was also a piece of debris on her lap. Quite heavy.

Eyes still closed, she could feel a stinging pain in her eyebrows, once every few seconds, at a steady rate.

Eyebrows…

"Liz, PLEASE let me pluck your eyebrows!"

Liz' eyes shot open.

Death the Kid was sitting on her lap, hale and hearty, in his usual suit, plucking her eyebrows with a tweezer.

"Ah, Elizabeth! Perfect timing! I just finished my work! I wish I had a mirror so that I could show you your perfect symmetry! Sigh… beautiful…" adored kid.

Overcome with emotion, Liz gave Kid a big hug, tight to her chest, trying to squeeze as much love into his scrawny little body as possible, never wanting to let go.

"Liz…"

"oh Kid, I missed you so much!"

"Liz!"

"you have no idea how much I missed your quirky little obsessions!"

"LIZ!"

"huh?"

"your boobies are smothering me, Liz! Can't… breathe…"

"S#it, sorry kid!" Liz quickly withdrew, leaving Kid gasping for breath.

"I never said you had to stop." He said, a devious grin appearing on his face.

"don't make me hurt you." Said Liz. "where are the others? Where are we for that matter?"

"I hoped you could tell me. All I know is, one reason, im being sucked up by a huge tripod, the next, im trapped atop a half-destroyed skyscraper with my girlfriend!"

Liz looked around. Now that she looked, she saw they were in a office of some sort, a decimated filing cabinet in one corner, a withering plant on top. A huge pile of rubble blocked where the door probably was, but there was a huge hole in one of the walls… into thin air.

Then what Kid said clicked. "girlfriend?" she said, smirking at Kid.

Kid slapped his forehead, then again with the other hand to make it symmetrical. "dammit, I meant to ask you instead of blurting it out like that… Im such a failure…"

"focus kid. What do you want to ask me?" She said, Her heart beating faster.

"Liz… if we make it out of this alive… will… you… b-be my g-g-girlfriend?" He flinched, expecting to be hit.

Liz stared at him, then grabbed his lapels and pulled him close. Kid squirmed, expecting a fist to the face.

The next thing he knew, her lips were pressing into his. Then he pressed his into hers.

Pulling away after a few seconds, Liz said, "do you have any idea how long ive been waiting for you to ask that! Of course I will!"

"Fabulous!" said Kid. They kissed again, passionately, for almost a minute.

A bit later, they got up, and Liz explained the parts of the story kid had missed. After almost 15 minutes of explaining, they began to discuss escape from this room.

"Kid, do you have a plan to get us out of here?"

"Yes, actually. While you were playing sleeping beauty, I inspected the room. Come here a moment."

Kid led Liz to the huge hole in the wall. There was a fifty-foot gap between them and the other side, a building with another hole. They could see stairs leading down over there.

The only thing stopping them: a fifty-foot gap, so high up, they couldn't even see the ground. All they could see was a blue fog.

Between them and the other side: a cable, no thicker then your thumb, yet made of steel wool and incredibly strong.

"Kid, you're ####ing insane.

"Cmon, liz, just a simple balancing act-"

"NO! no way in HELL! Heights are my third-greatest fear, after ghosts and spiders-"

"oh for the love of – here, lets do it this way."

"how did I let you trick me into this again?"

"shh."

Kid carried Liz, bridal-style, across the tightrope, excruciatingly slowly. To Liz, every second felt like an hour.

"think happy thoughts, Liz."

"oh yeah? Like what?"

"just close your eyes, and picture me carrying you thru the honeymoon suite to the bedroom on our wedding night…"

Liz had closed eyes and a blissful smile the rest of the tightrope walk, and almost looked sad when it was over.

"btw, kid, when did you learn to tightrope walk?"

"ah, Liz. It's a simple balancing act. All you need to do is keep your center of gravity-"

"WAIT! Don't tell me… perfectly symmetrical."

Kid grinned. "however did you guess."

They walked over to the stairs. They hadn't really comprehended just how high up they were… until they read the sign on the wall.

YOU ARE CURRENTLY ON FLOOR: 168.

Liz nearly passed out.

Half an hour, many complains from Liz (are we there yet? My pedicure's gonna be ruined. Im gonna get blisters- LIZ! We've only walked 4 flights!), 2 temper tantrums from kid (refusing to leave floors 8 and 88) and a leg massage for Liz (which both of them enjoyed), they finally reached the bottom.

They came out in a decimated lobby. A chandelier, half-destroyed, hung weakly from the ceiling. The cashier counters had cobwebs, and were empty, save one skeleton, still leaning over, a chained-to-the-desk pen in its hand, signing a check.

"im gonna steal the check."

"Liz…"

"old habits. Sorry."

The duo walked onto a decimated street. Cracked pavement and ancient, broken cars were everywhere.

"what the hell happened? It's so… dead. No pun intended, kid."

"Yeah, you're right – hey, do you hear that?"

In the dead silence of the city, voices carried far. One set of voices came from their left, the other from their right. They went for the left one first, for no particular reason.

They soon came across a small fire in a old steel drum, Tsubaki, Maka and Soul huddled around it.

They looked up and gasped. "Liz! Kid! Hey!"

"hey. How'd you guys get here?"

"basically, we woke up on our own, then maka screamed, and me and tsubaki managed to get to her. Then we hunkered down, and… here we are. How'd YOU guys get here."

"Not very eventful. Just a 50-foot tightrope walk between 2 buildings 186 stories above the ground."

"WUT."

After Liz and Kid explained, they extinguished the fire and the five went to the other set of noises. This one had been going for a while, Maka said, but they were scared to investigate. There were weird, slobbering sounds, and moans and grunts, and a girl screaming a couple times.

The group came to a corner, where they could hear the noises right nearby. As one, they leapt out, ready to take whatever was over there.

5 jaws dropped.

Black*Star and Patty were down on the sidewalk, and they were going at it like the sun wasn't going to shine tomorrow.

Patty screamed with lust, and Black star grunted a couple times as he pushed.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" screamed Liz, snapping the duo out of their trance.

Black star pulled out of Patty, with a small "schluk". Tsubaki and Liz pulled a soul and got a uber-nosebleed. Maka turned white, While Soul blushed like a tomato. Kid just covered his eyes, and started whimpering.

"what does it look like we're doing? Kya ha ha!" said Patty as she searched for her panties.

"why the hell are you to going at it in public like that?" screamed Maka.

"Well," said Black*Star, "it's a abandoned city, so we didn't think anyone would walk in on us. Also, we figured we weren't going to make it out of here, and I didn't want to die a virgin, and Patty didn't either, so…"

Soul gave a laugh, half disbelief, half hysterical. "Black*Star, you were a virgin about an hour ago… how the hell is your dick that big? No virgin has one that big…"

"except a black guy." Said Liz, standing up, trying and failing to wipe away the torrent of blood from her nose.

"well, obviously… damn, Black*Star, you ARE the biggest…"

"bwa ha ha! Did you ever doubt it? I am the great Black*Star!"

"hey guys!" said Patty, obviously already forgetting the incident earlier. Her clothes were back on. She had her hands behind her back, and was smiling brightly. "right before me and Black*Star hit the floor, guess who we found!"

She brought her hands out from behind her back, revealing Z, calmly sitting in her palms, munching a few blades of grass, still trapped in turtle form.

"thank god! We're saved!" Said Liz, hugging the turtle. "we- we are saved, right?" she looked at the turtle.

"well, Liz… I am afraid I can't really do much of anything… I lost my ship schematics when I was disconnected from the hub… im as clueless as you are."

"WE'RE DOOMED!" screamed Liz, throwing her hands to the sky and dropping Z (his shell protected him from the pavement.)

"Cheer up, Onee-chan! Let's play with this shiny thing I swiped from J's castle!" Patty held up what looked like a pair of glasses, blue and with shiny lenses.

From the ground, Z gasped. "patty, that – that's a ZPS! A Zship Positioning System! Set it down here!" Patty obliged, and, standing in front of the glasses, (which were far too big for him) he said a command in a unfamiliar language. The glasses glowed, then shrunk into a tiny ball of blue light, which drifted into Z's broken eye. Z blinked a couple times. "all right! Ladies and gents, we are officially hacked into the map network. I'll lead us out of here, but someone'll have to carry me, or this'll take forever." Patty picked Z up and lightly put him on her shoulder. "Thank you, Patty. All right folks, that-a-way! Let's get out of this abandoned city!"

"YEAH!" they all shouted simultaneously. Then Tsubaki pulled another soul.

"BLACK STAR! PUT ON SOME FREAKING PANTS! AT LEAST SOME UNDERWEAR!"

"bwa ha ha!"

woot! This one's even longer then the last!

Plz rvw! Please with sugar on top!

I don't own soul eater chars, or soul eater itself.