My heart-felt thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter. It really was truly inspiring and I am most grateful.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!
O-o-O-o-O
Where am I? He thought through the haze.
The surroundings were dim—blurring the shapes and enhancing the shadows—the smell of incense was heavy in the air.
Crying?
The sobs were audible and heart wrenching to his ears.
Don't cry, he implored. Please don't cry…
He wanted to comfort the weeping person, but he found he could not move. He tried to get up, the person needed solace and he wanted so much to provide it, but his body refused to obey him.
Words…?
Words were said above the sobbing. Repeating the same thing over and over again like a chant. The pain in the voice, the immense sorrow it emitted was harrowing, and it in return, tugged painfully at his heart.
Then the vision began to fade—the voice diminishing into silence. He raised his hands and tried to hold on to the image, tried desperately to grasp the withdrawing words, but they were already beyond his reach.
No, don't go, he mentally cried out in despair. He attempted to move, to pursue it, but he was powerless.
No, wait… don't leave… don't leave me… please…
O-o-O-o-O
Yami bolted into sitting position, his breathing shallow from the abrupt wakening. Giving a quick glance around him, he forced himself to calm down.
What the hell was that, he thought? Furrowing his brow in consternation, his mind trying to grasp the remnants of the dream, but it was futile. The vision, like the burnt incense in his dream, had disappeared leaving nothing but a lingering presence. He thought he could still smell the sweet exotic scent with each inhale of breath he took.
Brushing a hand over his face and massaging his pounding temple, Yami tried to concentrate on the voice he heard, but like the dream it was obscure and vague. It sounded familiar above the pain, and it teased and perplexed him to no ends, leaving an impression that there was something significant, but he didn't know what. All that remained was the words that were spoken, that much was clear though he did not understand its meaning, the pain in his head refused him the luxury of deciphering on it.
Getting out of the bed, he made his way over to his desk, his bare feet padding noiselessly across the room. Reaching it, he pulled out a drawer and began rummaging through it until he chanced upon the item of his search: a note pad and pen. Bending over the desk, he flipped open the notepad and began to write down the words of his dreams, the sound of pen scratching on paper accenting, the otherwise, total silence. When it was done, Yami closed the notepad and straightened up. He needed to go back to bed and sleep off the headache. The script, already committed to paper, could wait.
O-o-O-o-O
The next day, Yami awoke with a hammering headache. Staring at his surroundings it took a minute for him to overcome his disorientation and realise he was no longer living in the Kaiba residence; he was back in his apartment. With a groan, he tried getting up, but the dizziness from the sudden movement, accompanied with the feeling of nausea, made him flop hastily back onto the bed again.
"Fuck," he cursed softly as he tried to even out his breathing and calm the queasiness, his eyes darting to the clock on his nightstand. It was seven in the morning and he had an hour before he needed to rise and get ready for work. He was happy to doze off again, but the dryness in his mouth and throat would not allow him to remain in an inactive state. He was dying for a drink and the more he tried to ignore it, the more his thirst increased.
Slowly rolling over onto his side, Yami swung his legs over the side of the bed and gradually raised himself to a sitting position, his hands gripping tightly to the edge of the bed for support. His heart rate shot up again with the exertion and his face pulled into a pained grimace. With another curse, Yami carefully got up and shuffled to the kitchen. Raiding the fridge, he grabbed a bottle of iced green tea and downed it greedily; the feel of the chilled liquid flowing down his throat was gratifying and he sighed contentedly, whilst wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. After disposing the bottle into the recycle crate, he made his way back to his bedroom. He needed to check on his messages and, possibly, return missed calls he may have received from work.
As he entered the room, Yami scanned it for his jacket, it was lying in a crumpled heap on the floor; he had discarded the item carelessly before climbing, fully clothed, into his bed. Brisk paces made the walk to his jacket short. Slowly lowering himself on his hunches, he picked up the item and began searching his pockets for his cell.
It wasn't there.
So he checked a second time, only more thoroughly.
It wasn't there.
Trying hard to suppress the rising panic, he got up and began searching in and atop the nightstand in hope he had removed the item before he slept. When his search yielded nothing, he did the same for the bed, praying it was buried under the bed covers or failing that, under the bed, in case it had dropped and slid underneath.
It still wasn't there.
By now, Yami was frantic and he moved his search to other locations, kitchen, living room, toilet and bathroom. It bore the same result—no phone!
Slumping onto the couch in defeat, Yami swore profusely, "Fuck, fuck, FUCK!" He didn't have another phone; if he had then he would have been able to call the missing one…
"FUCK!" He repeated and punched the seat beside him with frustration.
Leaning his head back on the couch, Yami closed his eyes. In his desperate hunt for his cell, he had temporary forgotten about his hangover but now, his body in repose, the feeling of nausea returned with a vengeance. The need to distract his thoughts away from sensation, he tried recall where he could have lost the item. Did he leave it at the restaurant, in the cab, with Jou… or with him?
Yami pulled a face, the option of the latter was not a pleasing one; in fact, none of the options were acceptable. He needed to find the phone now! Getting off the couch Yami headed for the bathroom. He was going to shower and then go to work; there he'd be able to call Jou and see if he had kept his phone to prank call Kaiba when he was sober. The thought triggered a small shudder in the ex-spirit—such thoughts were too frightening to dwell on!
O-o-O-o-O
The club was buzzing with excitement when Yami arrived at work. If the manager had been paying attention, he would have noticed the suspicious way his staff was behaving.
But he didn't.
If he wasn't so concerned about his phone, he would have seen the tell-tales signs of his employees pooling a bet, and he would have been alerted to the suspicious way Sudo had hushed up the enthusiasts and ordered them back to work at the sight of him.
But Yami was oblivious.
Instead, after instructing Sudo to end his shift, he went straight to his office without uttering another word, his mind too preoccupied to care for pleasantries. Try as he might to concentrate on his work he did not succeed very well. After contacting Jou, he was told the phone had been handed "the driver" who picked him up from the restaurant; Yami groaned to himself, he knew who that was and he wasn't too thrilled about it. Not withstanding the fact he had no way of contacting the man, since he was not an official member of the club, Yami was not very keen on another encounter—not if the one last night was anything to go by! The troublesome man was too bold for his own good and his persistence was tiresome. He was becoming harder to deal with each meeting.
The Game King chewed anxiously on his lower lip as he deliberated on his dilemma... the ringing of the phone startled him out of his ruminations. Gingerly picking it up, Yami spoke into it.
"Yes?" he asked wearily.
"Mutou-san, there's a 'Sakaki-sama' on the line for you. Do you wish to take the call?" the receptionist enquired politely.
Yami coloured slightly at the name—considering he was thinking about him just now—the timing of the call rattled him.
"I will take the call," Yami instructed as he mentally prepared himself for the confrontation. The awkwardness brought on from the previous night made him a little ill at ease with the situation.
"Yes, Mutou-san," the girl replied. "I will put him through now."
Silence followed and then Sakaki's clear voice was heard a few seconds later. "Yami?" he asked, there was uncertainty in the way he spoke the name.
"Yes, Sakaki-sama. How may I help you?" Yami's formal and brusque response was an indication of his displeasure—of his unforgiving mood.
"I am very sorry for last night, Yami," came the apology. "I know I crossed the line and I regret it immensely. Please forgive me."
Yami ignored the subject of that incident. To be reminded of it was distasteful and he was not quite ready to absolve the guilt-ridden man. "I believe you have something of mine in your possession, Sakaki-sama, is that correct?"
"Yes, that was the other reason I called. I have your phone. Your friend gave it to me last night and I absent-mindedly put it in my pocket when I had to carry—"
"I would like it back!" Yami demanded. "As soon as possible!"
A long pause followed before Sakaki finally spoke up. "Fine," he replied. "However, I am heading out to a meeting right now and I won't be back until about six o'clock. Meet me at the Golden Lotus Hotel any time after that to pick it up. I will inform Reception to expect you."
"Hn," Yami responded tersely, the grunt served to sever the opportunity for further discussion, but audacious man chose to ignore it.
Just as he was about to hang up, Sakaki called out to him, "Yami, would you consider forgiving me… please?" he entreated. "The thought of you being angry with me is unbearable."
The Game King saw red.
"Then you should have thought about that before you took advantage of my drunken state, bastard!" Yami yelled, subsequently slamming down the phone with so much force, the object clanged with discord.
Throwing his back into the chair, he huffed with annoyance at the insistent man and at himself. He hadn't meant to lose his temper, partly because it made the situation a whole lot worse. Sakaki would not be willing to drop the matter so easily now—not until he was forgiven. Yami had given the other an excuse to pursue him further.
Thumping a fist to his forehead, Yami groaned aloud at the ordeal ahead of him. He vowed never to drink to the point of oblivion again.
O-o-O-o-O
Exiting the elevator at the top floor, Yami made his way to the penthouse suite. His last visit was somewhat vague so he could not appreciate the lush carpet his feet sunk silently into, nor did he notice the rich colours and valuable artwork, which surrounded him. It was nice to have a wealthy uncle in the hotel business, he mused. Takaya-sama certainly had good taste.
When reaching the door, Yami stood hesitantly before it; a little apprehensive as to what could happen behind them. Sakaki was unpredictable as the wind and it unnerved him. Usually being able to calculate a move few steps ahead of a person, the Game King was totally stumped with this one. Sakaki was too emotional and expressive for him to fathom, he was unused to the barrage of emotions the other lavished on him. In comparison, Kaiba was exactly the opposite; the latter wasn't very demonstrative where his feelings were concerned, but Yami was fine with it. Had he not learnt to understand the stoic man's mood over the years?
The petit man shook his head to dispel the broodiness and took a deep breath. Now was not the time to be having such thoughts; he had a task at hand, one that he had to, by all means, accomplish.
Staring at the door, Yami knocked twice. A few seconds passed and the door swung open, revealing the tall figure of Sakaki clad in a loose bathrobe, and a towel draped over his dark head.
Yami gaped in surprised, blurting out an apology before he could stop himself. "I am sorry for disturbing you," he stammered. The unexpected sight of the man fresh from his shower made him think he had somehow disturbed him, and for that he felt guilty. He flushed and looked away in his confusion.
Sakaki laughed aloud. "It's fine, I was out already," he assured, moving aside to allow his visitor entry. "I was just going over some documents and having a drink. Would you like one? Can I get you something?"
Recalling what happened the last time he had a drink with this guy around, Yami stopped suddenly, his body stiff. "Thank you for the offer, but no thanks," he declined politely. "I don't want to intrude as you are busy, I will take my phone and be on my way."
Silence ensued and Yami could feel the man's intent stare bore holes into his back. A dispirited sigh followed.
"Come," Sakaki said resignedly, walking past Yami and pointing ahead. "Wait in there and I will get your phone." The taller man disappeared into another room.
Yami did as he was told, and made his way into an elegant and spacious room. A large leather couch and a few armchairs surrounded a low coffee table, which had an open laptop and papers strewn atop. A crystal glass filled with a glowing amber liquid winked seductively under the soft lighting. The suite was soundproof so the noise from the bustling street below could not be heard, instead the only sound came from a large flat screen television that adorned one of the walls; it droned softly with news of the economy and monetary matters. Sakaki wasn't lying when he said he had business to attend to.
"Now on to entertainment news," the news presenter piped excitedly. Yami listened with tepid interest. "Our big story of the day is: Is it love at last? Has the young KaibaCorp billionaire finally found love?"
Yami immediately looked up, his stare fixed on the picture that appeared on the screen: it depicted the KaibaCorp CEO in the company of a woman, a beautiful and elegant creature with long pale hair, looking exquisite as she smiled sweetly at her companion, a slender hand resting on Kaiba's cheek.
The image ignited a feeling inside Yami, an unidentifiable searing pain that rose slowly in his chest and enclosed around his heart; he involuntarily clutched it as the hurt grew with each detail uttered.
"This picture was captured recently at a famous restaurant in Tokyo. The handsome couple drew unwanted attention despite their inconspicuous location, and witnesses said the pair laughed and talked for most of the night. No one could deny the stoic CEO, who's renowned for his coolness, looked relaxed with his companion. Needless to say, this is devastating news for thousands of hopeful females, especially if the most eligible bachelor in the city is no longer available…"
Yami continued to stare at the screen; anger and sadness fused with the alien sensation overwhelmed him. Try as he might to look away from the picture and block out the voice, he couldn't. He stood transfixed and frozen, aghast at the news and despising himself for the hatred that began to swell inside him. He hated the fact that Kaiba had shown indifference to his crime, he hated the fact that they looked relaxed and happy together, he hated the way she had touched him so freely, but most of all… he hated himself for minding so much about it!
A weak whimper escaped unconsciously from his lips as his hand clawed at the pain in his chest. The news had upset him more than he was prepare to acknowledge and it made his heart heavier by the second.
A large hand reached out from behind and covered his, lightly squeezing the smaller one in his clasp.
"Don't look at it anymore," Sakaki whispered imploringly close to a delicate ear. "Forget about him, Yami. When you are with me, I will never allow that kind of expression to mar your beautiful face. I swear I would always love and treasure you, just give me the chance, that's all I ask. Be mine, Yami. Please…"
Hot breath mingled with the faint trace of brandy invaded Yami's senses. "Didn't I tell you never to touch me again?" Yami demanded, but there was no conviction behind the words, and the other sensed it.
With his hand still grasping Yami's, Sakaki leant down and claimed Yami's neck with light butterfly kisses, ever mindful of the faint bruises present on the pale throat. The former did not resist—the fight had gone out of him—he was too numb to care. He closed his eyes to shut out the vision before him and withdrew into himself in an attempt to block out the pain. However, the relief was short-lived, the ringing of Sakaki's phone interrupted the moment and Yami stiffened to the sound.
Sakaki felt the other's distraction and tugged at an earlobe with his teeth. "Ignore it," he coaxed. "The caller will hang up shortly." True to his words, the phone stopped... only for it to start again. Sakaki sensed Yami slipping away from his grasp with each ring and he mentally swore at the caller's persistence.
"Answer it," Yami ordered, pulling himself away from the embrace. Sakaki struggled to hold on to the latter, but it was useless. The spell had been broken and along with it, his hopes. Even as he clung on feebly, he felt Yami distancing himself; the sudden aloofness had made him unreachable and attainable.
Sakaki let go of the hand and with it the dream he had of being with the one he loved. The opportunity had slipped away from him; his confession had fallen on deaf ears. Angrily picking his phone off the table, he pressed the button to accept the call. "WHAT?" he all but yelled down the handset, not caring if it was a client; his eyes never leaving the petit man.
Yami walked over to the window and pulled back the heavy curtain that draped over it, his hand rested on the chilled glass hidden beneath. Staring out, his indifference to the world, outside and inside the room, was apparent by the blank expression he wore.
"WHAT!" Sakaki exclaimed and Yami turned his crimson stare towards the vexed man. "He did WHAT?" Sakaki shot a look of panic at Yami and then lowered his voice; he made his way to his room in long urgent strides.
Yami returned his gaze to outside view and chided himself for not asking for his phone first so he could leave. It was dangerous to be around Sakaki, the man had the fortune to see his vulnerable side more oft than not and took advantage of it. It made it hard to maintain an apathetic facade when fate saw fit to land him in such discerning predicaments on every occasion they met. It was as if it was assisting and encouraging the damn man, and it disturbed Yami deeply.
Fortune favours the bold!
And bold, Sakaki was! Despite the warnings and the threats, Sakaki still made his advances. The audacity of the shameless man was boundless and that scared Yami. If the phone hadn't interrupted them, how far would it have gone? Defeated and wallowing in self-pity, he permitted Sakaki to do as he pleased, it made him wonder if he really was the cheap whore Kaiba had insisted he was. Where Kaiba overwhelmed his defences with his domineering personality, Sakaki had worn them down with his persistence. He could not afford another encounter, the man had seen the chink in his armour and he will pick at it, a piece at a time, until he was completely exposed.
Undoubtedly, Sakaki was an opportunist and he exploited each opportunity presented to him to the max. Whether it was used wisely or not, was a different matter; but the simple fact that he got this far, even ousting an adversary as powerful as Kaiba, was not to be underestimated.
Kaiba…
His thoughts, once again, reverted back to the CEO and that image; the hand splaying the chilled glass scrunched into a tight fist. He was confused. Never had he felt this searing sensation before, never had he felt such intense pain. What was this agonising feeling? Thinking back to picture, he hated the woman. It wasn't enough that she was with Seto, how dare she express such intimacy in public; it pissed him off immensely.
Flames of hatred curled around him and licked his soul, fuelling the desire to hurt the other who hurt him… His knuckles turned white, as he squeezed his hand into a tighter ball, his nails dug deep into his palm.
He was jealous!
Did Kaiba feel this when he thought about Sakaki and him? Was this the feeling that drove him into an uncontrollable rage, Yami wondered? It was certainly hard to contain. Understanding a little of his ex-lover's suffering, Yami's heart constricted painfully.
Seto…
"Yami?"
Sakaki's concerned voice broke through Yami's contemplations and he turned away from the window to face him, a fine brow raised quizzically.
"Some pressing business matters has arisen and I need to return to Tokyo at once." Sakaki supplied, the reluctance plainly expressed in his face and his voice.
Yami stiffened at the mention of "Tokyo", the person whom he associated the city with made him flinched slightly.
The ever-observant Sakaki noticed it, but kept quiet. He, now, knew where the other's lover was, as well as what he'd been up to. The dinner date wasn't the only surprise Kaiba had sprung on him. With eyes never leaving the pale face, Sakaki walked slowly up to Yami. Stopping an arm's length away from the petit man, he gazed longingly at him.
Yami looked up at the man before him, his eyes staring haughtily at him, his chin tilted at an angle that spoke of defiance. "My phone," he demanded as he held out his hand.
Taking the smaller hand by the tips of his fingers, Sakaki squeezed it ever so gently. "Yami, come with me to Tokyo," he begged. With a flick of his wrist, he gestured to the city outside the window. "Leave this and everything associated with him behind, and start anew with me. I promise I would love you and you only; I swear I will never betray you!"
Pulling his hand away from the grasp, the Game King looked at Sakaki dispassionately. "Betray?" he muttered and laughed. It sounded bitter to his ears and Sakaki winced at the harsh sound. "Do you have no considerations for me at all? Even if you disregard the issue of me betraying you by harbouring feelings for another, how can you expect me to betray my own feelings to be with you?" Yami shook his head; the action implied what was being asked was impossible. "How can you ask that of me when you know how I deeply I feel for another?"
"Do you still love him?" Sakaki asked softly, peering deep into those vivid crimson jewels—it told him what he needed to know even before Yami had uttered the answer. His eyes had betrayed him; it could not lie.
"I never stopped," Yami replied. Sadness filled the timbre of his answer.
Sakaki felt his heart plummet to the depth of his being; any hope he had been entertaining up to now had been dashed with those three cruel words. The admission was absolute. It was clear he was never going to have a place in Yami's heart because it was filled with that man; it made Sakaki realise what little effect he had on Yami because, in the latter's eyes, he was negligible.
The hurt made him resent his insignificance. "Is there nothing I can do to make you change your mind, Yami?" he entreated, his voice barely above a whisper, a desperate whisper. He could not help the note of optimism from creeping into those words, any more than he could help the weak flicker of hope reflected in his eyes.
Crimson eyes stared back at him, the gaze unwavering and resolute. "No," Yami replied in a clear and steady voice. "I have always loved him and always will, there cannot be a substitute. If he and I cannot be together this lifetime then I will gladly wait for the next. My existence intertwines with his, it has always been that way and always will. Without him, I am incomplete and it pains me."
The ex-spirit exhaled deeply. "When you find the one, you will know how I feel, Sakaki. To be with a person, who can make you feel alive, provide a rich meaning your life, and drive you insane with intensity and desire, is exhilarating. Only he can give these to things to me, only he can arouse such passion from me. I cannot be with you because we would be living a lie, an illusion... a makeshift solution to the consequences of today's events. It would not be fair for either of us to be involved in this type of relationship. The deception would do neither of us any good." Pausing with a frown on his face, Yami closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, there was determination exuding from them.
Affected by the look, trepidation filled Sakaki and dread spiked what little hope he had left. He held his breath, waiting for the inevitable...
With a shuddering breath, Yami spoke slowly; each word uttered—unknowingly—chipped away a little of the other's heart. "We will not meet again, Sakaki," Yami said. "I plan to spend time in Egypt; to learn a little of the history, the people, and of myself. I do not plan on returning to Japan if I find the life there agrees with me. With the present situation, there is little here for me to return to."
Sakaki stared speechlessly at Yami.
Seeing his companion had nothing to add, Yami held out a slender hand again. "I wish to go now, Sakaki. Please return my cell phone."
Sakaki continued to stare at the Game King in stunned silence, but his hand reached into his robe pocket and pulled out the phone. Holding the item, Sakaki loathed letting it go, his hand clutched it stubbornly.
"Sakaki, please..."
The taller man slowly held it out and a small hand reached for it. Grasping the item in his hand, Yami was about to retract it, when Sakaki seized it.
"Sakaki!" Yami growled, giving his hand a fierce tug. He was about make a venomous retort, but the look on the other's face stopped him, it also stilled his resistance.
Naked anguish...
Pain marked the other's expression and it compelled Yami to look away from it. He could not bear to be the cause of such misery, even if it were inadvertent. Looking down at his captured limb, Yami placed his free hand over his captor's and gave it a light squeezed. The pressure lessened and Yami slid both his hands away and dropped them to his side. Crimson eyes met grey for a fleeting moment and then it looked away again. Holding the cell firmly in his grasp, Yami wordlessly walked past Sakaki and made his way towards the exit.
Yami!
Sakaki spun around, ready to catch the departing man... but he was too late! The sight of the closing door mocked his tardy response.
Yami had walked out of the room... and out of his life.
Flinging himself onto the couch, Sakaki picked up his unfinished beverage. Tilting his head back, he emptied the glass in one keen gulp and pressed the cold vessel on his hot temple. With closed eyes, he savoured the fiery liquid as it burned down his throat and slowly spread its warmth into his stomach.
"Yami, you fool," he whispered desolately as the pain of his broken heart began to engulf him. "You are the one."
Hot tears brimmed behind shuttered lids and seeped through. Just as he was powerless to stop Yami from leaving his side—he was powerless to stop his sorrow from spilling out.
"Yami,' Sakaki repeated in a choked, broken sob.
Only the sound of the television responded to his grief as he wept bitterly for his loss.
O-o-O-o-O
Secured in his car, Yami stared at his cell phone. If Sakaki knew the value of the item, and how willing he was to do anything to get it back, the outcome could have been disastrous. With trembling a hand he activated it and searched for a folder. Upon locating, he tapped it. It prompted him to enter a password. Yami swiftly typed in the four letters to the request: ATEM. The folder unlocked and Yami opened the content contained within.
The picture of Seto's sleeping face stared back at him from the confines of his cell.
Staring lovingly at the screen, Yami's expression softens. Passing a finger over it, the ache in his heart intensifies, and with it, the yearning.
Shit, Yami thought as he tore his eyes away, the effects of the picture released a burst of sentimentalism into his arid heart.
Leaning back so his head rested the headrest of the seat, Yami closed his weary eyes and succumbed to the unexpected feelings and to the torment of a single angry thought:
He really missed that damn baka!
O-o-O-o-O
"Would all passengers destined for Tokyo make their way to platform six, the train will be departing shortly."
The announcement was broadcasted loudly over the speakers above the noise of people and engines. Passengers began to manoeuvre to the said location and embarked the waiting transport. However, one was already on board and comfortably seated.
Crimson eyes, stared out of the window of his compartment watching, with cool detachment, the crowd bustling about their daily business. His mind was occupied with counting the seconds before the train would finally move.
It won't be long now, he consoled himself patiently. It won't be long...
~TBC~
O-o-O-o-O
A/N: Firstly, I would like to wish all my "Misgivings" readers a "Very Merry Christmas. May you be spoilt with yaoi-filled pressies and much happiness~!"
Secondly, for those who are wondering, and I am sure there are quite a few of you, I will not be going full-blown Scandalshipping. These are just hints and relevant to the plot. I hope it will become clear to you all towards the end.
Well then, thoughts anyone?