They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.
Lest We Forget.
Okay guys. Today is ANZAC Day and while I'm at home and in between starting my assessments I've decided to start this bundle of joy.
Warning you, from this chapter forward this will not be a happy story. If you misread the title or didn't understand this is a depressing story full of despair and other wonderful emotions like that. If this is not what you intended to read, please turn back now. If it was hat you wanted to read cause you love angst and melodrama you may continue with my blessing.
ON WITH THE STORY!
..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸Shades of Grey..•.¸¸•´¯`•.¸¸
Black
A sudden roaring enveloped Merlin's ears. The distant questions and pleas for response were lost in an ocean of emotion that flooded the Watergates. It was a tsunami, every thought, every idea, every emotion; fighting for dominance in his brain.
He couldn't react, he couldn't talk, he couldn't see, he couldn't feel.
Everything passed in slow motion, a world full of anxious people, while Merlin was on fast forward.
He finally felt something, a sudden pounding in his head one thought that claimed his whole body.
LIE
And it was the only thing that felt real, a grasp he had on reality. It was a lie. It couldn't be true, it was some deluded joke. It had to be. No, it definitely was a lie.
With his sudden realisation he snapped back to reality. He realised that he was now in the corner of the room, the letter clasped tightly to his chest and an audience gathered around him. He heard himself speak, but couldn't control what came out.
"No, no, no, no, it isn't true! It isn't, I don't believe it, it's not true! NO, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, IT'S NOT TRUE!" he cried out with despair, clutching onto the letter more. He curled in on himself as he muttered his doubts.
He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and flinched away, drawing himself further into the corner of the room.
He couldn't hear anymore, everything was going back to slow motion. All he could hear as a dull sound of voices strangely distorted through his dulling mind.
Merlin, Merlin, can you hear me? Merlin, listen to me!
The voices didn't make any sense. He didn't want to listen. Everyone was lying to him. They were trying to trick him and he wasn't falling for it this time.
His subconscious thoughts must have somehow taken hold as his hands came over his ears as he rocked himself back and forward, all the while muttering about how stupid lies were.
This was it. He'd finally lost it. But then he felt it, the shred of sanity.
Listen to him.
Merlin shuddered away from the strangely compelling voice. The voice was so familiar, so compelling. He had to obey it but he didn't want to listen. He didn't want anymore lies.
Listen to them, Merlin.
Merlin tried to fight back with all his might, but the voice was breaking through his barriers. NO! He didn't want anymore lies. His life as already plagued with them and no someone had to go and make a sick joke out of a new one. But his defences slowly crumbled and he felt a hand clutch at his wrist, pulling it away from his chest.
He didn't resist.
The cool hands that slipped under his were fragile and calloused with work. The long fingers burrowed under his tightly clasped fists.
They were the same hands. They felt exactly the same. They were cool, but warm at the same time. Calloused, yet smooth to touch. Worn with years of love and caring. They were so familiar, so very familiar. They were the only hands he would let touch him right now, the only hands that were secure.
He grasped them quickly for reassurance. Yes, everything was going to be okay. He finally felt it, the warmth return. He was right. It was all just some sick joke.
He felt his thoughts return and the bad feelings dissipate. All the while he clung to the hand for dear life.
He felt the hand release his, but he quickly clutched it again, to ensure that he couldn't fall again. It gave him a reassuring squeeze before worming its way towards to the letter. It clutched it in its comforting grasp and slowly peeled back the seal. A gasp of agony was heard from just beside him and then he felt it.
The hand he was holding had gone dead cold, literally. He tried to feel a pulse yet there was nothing there. He tried to squeeze it, but felt nothing In return. Just a limp hand.
Merlin cried out in despair as he bought the hand to his chest.
"NO!" his mangled voice cried out to the world. He cried for his mother, he cried for the loss.
He snapped his eyes open, needing to feel at least a shred of humanity. Although he could see, he felt nothing.
There was no emotion, no tears no nothing. He couldn't feel it. It was like a black hole, empty and black. Everything was black.
He glanced toward the meaningless faces, all turned down in recognition. His eyes wandered through the faces, looking each one in the eye. None stared back, only confirming the ever growing tragedy.
His mother was dead.
As in gone forever. Never, ever to return.
It just couldn't be. It wouldn't be.
It won't be, Merlin thought as he leaped to hi feet springing towards the door. The Isle of the Blessed was calling him, calling him ever so greatly. He thought of seeing Lancelot again, seeing Freya and Will. But he would not see his mother cause it was him for her or not them both for nothing. He couldn't bare the thought of being separate from his mother, but then again he would sacrifice everything for his mother breath to return to her.
He clambered desperately towards the door, only to be pulled away roughly by a pair of strong arms. He struggled against his captors, but did not yell. He was still void of all emotion, the black hole still consuming him. They didn't understand; he needed to go.
A calming hand gently grabbed his forearm, stroking it in reassurance. But it was no use, he was to far gone.
The black hole had swallowed him, and spat him out again, scarred forever more.
MWAHAHAHA! I know that it's very mean, but guess who's in charge of this story.
Random person: I don't know?
Me: MWHAHAHAHA! It's me you incompetent fool! (Sorry, I'm getting carried away!)
Well there goes another chapter we've only got a few more left if everything goes according to plan. (A few is like 3/4/5/6 IRDK)
So if you could just leave a review for me to read so I know that you actually do want me to continue, then please do. If not I'll know you don't care :'( So review, because I know you'll all love me! (Kidding)
Thanks for reading
Lest We Forget
Jossicle