Chapter Two – Nothing Left But Loss

OMFG! I am like, going crazy right now! 16 reviews and that's on two chapters! And I've totally lost count of how many alerts/favourites I've got for this…and on DME! Thankyou sooooo much guys! I love you more than ever!

On another note, I have a joint fic with my sister (FamiliarTasteOfPoison), although only one chapter is up as yet (on my sisters profile). It's a sequel to McFly's mini-movie 'Nowhere Left To Run', and I'd love it if you'd check it out! If you haven't seen the movie, I posted a review with a basic summary of the plot, so please have a lookie at that.

Oh yeah, and my Twitter has now changed – I'm Sassi_Bear now :P

Peace, love, Damon and Tom Fletcher!

Saskia xxxx

Two weeks later, and I was hesitantly making my way out of the hospital. Damon supported me on one side, Jenna on the other. As I stepped out of the building, the sudden sunlight blinded me and I squinted in retaliation. I felt the warm sun play on my skin and the slight wind whip my hair up around me, and smiled fleetingly. I can't imagine why I ever wanted to give this up. I felt Damon squeeze my hand and I grinned at him. We walked slowly to Jenna's car and paused by it. I looked back at the hospital, knowing that I would be back soon enough for outpatients and also for the ridiculous counselling sessions that Jenna had booked me in for. I mean, I am almost certainly certifiably insane. Then again, I've known that my whole life, so there is really no point in getting it confirmed now. I became aware of Damon holding the passenger door open for me and gesturing to it, his mouth forming words I couldn't hear. I climbed into the car, deep in thought. There had been several times recently when I'd totally zoned out of what Damon was saying to me – he'd be talking, and I wouldn't be listening. Before he left me, my world had revolved around him – he'd been my Sun, my Earth, my gravity, my everything. But now…I didn't depend on him so much. Maybe it was because I'd learnt to survive without him – albeit not very well, but I'd got by. I was lost in thought, daydreaming about those sky blue eyes that I treasured so much…

"Oi! Ree, I am talking to you!" Jenna snapped playfully. I jerked out of my reverie, looking startled. "You were miles away then, darling." Jenna smiled. I looked at her for a second before remembering how to reply.

"Oh, sorry. I was thinking…" I blinked, clearing the images of his blue eyes turning away from me from my mind. I tried my hardest to make it look like I was listening, and found the words sinking in for once.

"As I was saying, I think it would be best if we just take you out of school now. There'll be all sorts of awkward questions, and were really ill…you can go back and get your qualifications once the fuss has died down a bit…maybe in a year or two?" Jenna flicked her eyes off the road to look at me, and I found myself nodding.

"That sounds like a good idea." I caught sight of Damon in the rear view mirror, looking a bit too pleased. Jenna must have seen it too.

"Damon? Just cos Ree won't be in school doesn't mean that you will have her all to yourself! In fact, I want you two to limit your time together…I don't want anything else bad happening." I watched Damon deflate and laughed softly. I suddenly recognised the song on the radio and leapt for the dial, turning up the volume to the familiar song.

Sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls, every time that you lose it sing it for the world, sing it from the heart, sing it til your nuts, sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts, sing it for the deaf, sing it for the blind, sing about everyone that you left behind, sing it for the world, sing it for the world.

We made the rest of the journey home in silence apart from the sound of Kerrang blasting out the radio. I was feeling really confused. Jenna taking me out of school – of course it meant more time with Damon, as well as a lot more freedom. You'd think that I'd be bouncing around in my seat like a kid at Christmas. Instead, I felt…not exactly disappointed, but not really excited either. My mind really was screwed up.

We pulled into the drive, gravel crunching under the wheels. I saw Elena and Jeremy waiting in the doorway, smiling welcomingly. Oh please. Seriously. Thank God they didn't break out the 'Welcome home, Ree' banners. I mean…that would have been downright humiliating. I forced a smile as I got out of the car, barely noticing Damon holding the door for me again. His fingers laced through mine and I smiled at him automatically. It was a reflex, and I was glad to see that it hadn't deserted me. I didn't want to lose Damon, or anything to do with Damon. We walked slowly towards the door, and Jeremy met us halfway. He wrapped his arms around me, 'subtly' booting Damon off to the side. I remembered the time several months before, when Damon had come back for one night and Jer had comforted me afterwards. Jer was always there for me, and he never judged.

"I'm glad your home Rhia." He whispered in my ear before pulling away, his dark hair flopping in his eyes in a really adorable way. I smiled at him, a truly honest smile and turned to Elena. I was surprised that she was even here, cos she lived with Stefan now. I suppose I should be happy that she was here – she obviously cared enough. We hugged, and I finally made it through the door. I turned to Damon, only to see that he couldn't get through the door.

"Well? You coming in?" I joked. He was probably messing about. He looked at me, and then I realised that he couldn't get in. I frowned at Elena, who looked sheepish.

"After he visited you a few months ago, I didn't want you hurt again, so I had Bonnie revoke the invitation. She'd told me about this spell before, and after Damon left you that second time…" She trailed off, shrugging. I shot her a dagger look and returned to Damon.

"Come in, Damon." I said softly. He grinned and stepped over the threshold. Jenna called through from the kitchen.

"Ree, do you want anything to eat?" She asked. I shook my head, and then realised that she couldn't see me.

"No thanks, Jenna. I'm going to go freshen up and I might catch a few z's." I yawned for effect. I heard her start a conversation with Stefan, Elena and Jer…

"Damon, I can see you sneaking up those stairs and DON'T YOU DARE!" Jenna yelled after Damon, who I realised was following me up to my room. I giggled as he cussed under his breath. He smiled at me, and mouthed 'later'. My stomach clenched as I nodded. I don't know why I was feeling so unsure, but I couldn't make myself be excited.

I took a (very) long shower, and washed all trace of the hospital from my skin. I padded back to my room in my PJ's, with my hair smelling of raspberries and my toes all wrinkly. I looked round my familiar room and frowned. Over the course of my months without Damon, I neglected to tidy my room, and it kinda looked like a bomb had gone off. I didn't feel very tired, so I quickly tidied up, putting dirty washing in the basket, hanging up clean clothes, putting away make up etc. etc. Once I had finished, I felt wayy more relaxed, and I kicked off my slippers. I crawled into bed and pulled the covers over me. I didn't expect to, but I was asleep within five minutes.

I felt an arm snaking round my waist and rolled over blearily. When I saw Damon's face, my haze totally cleared.

"Heyy…what are you doing? Jenna will go mad!" I giggled. He gave me a flash of my favourite smile, his whole face lighting up.

"Jenna thinks I've gone home. Like I would, now Elena lives there too…I'd probably need inviting in…my own home!" I giggled again at his outraged tone. His hand cupped my cheek and my laughter faded away. He brought my face to his and I forgot ever being unsure. His lips brushed against mine, soft and gentle. He could be so…split-personality sometimes. From frantic passion to this sweetness…it was going to give me motion-sickness. I kissed back with equal gentleness, not wanting the moment to end. I moved my head and laid it on his chest, hearing the sound of his breathing and nothing else. His arms encircled me, holding me in a protective embrace. I really didn't know what was wrong with me at the minute. Since my accident, most of the time I had tried to avoid Damon…I felt a bit…I don't know. I guess I just wasn't so clingy or something. It made me feel awkward around him. But right now…it was times like these when he was being so sweet…I can understand why I threw myself off a cliff for him.

It really wasn't fair to him. I mean, he must have noticed how distant I was being with him at the moment. But, I'm selfish. Even though I didn't quite understand my own feelings at the moment, I know that I love him. I don't want to let him go just cos I'm confused. I'd only just found him again, so why did it feel like I'd already lost him? I mentally shook myself and turned my face up to his. His lips found mine instantly and we kissed in a soft, sweet, slow way. I pulled myself closer to him to get rid of my pessimistic thoughts, and he responded by lightly running his tongue over my bottom lip. I opened my mouth wider, wanting to be closer to him. After a while of make-out session, I gently untangled our limbs and curled up against his chest. I inhaled his unique scent and smiled.

"I love you, Rhia." Damon whispered softly. My heart swelled up until I thought it might burst out of my chest, but I couldn't bring myself to reply. He sighed softly, hugging me tight. Soon, his breathing slowed and I knew that he was asleep. I couldn't sleep, and I lay awake against his chest for hours, crying silently.

In the story I was told, this was never mentioned, must have missed the chapter when I was 17 years old, and there's nothing left but loss.

Review? (Song – Ignorance by McFly, released as a B-side with 'The Heart Never Lies') xx