Wednesday
Humans I have found are the most stubborn creatures on this planet. You tell them to do one thing in their best interest, and they either:
a.) Decline and/or don't believe you, or b.) Completely ignore you.
When I get to my feet and whimper, and interrupt Julia's recommendation, I am met with both. Campbell, slightly annoyed, flicks my snout away from him not taking his eyes off the guardian ad litem who has paused to look at me.
Well at least someone took notice… But then she goes back to speaking.
I roll my eyes.
Lemme tell you, if canines could communicate with the human species, we'd have a lot to say. Such as:
"Would you mind passing down that extra turkey leg on Thanksgiving?"
"Hey, every once in awhile it'd be really great if you could tune into the Dog Whisperer so we can see what the big deal is about Caesar Milan."
And then there are the really important times when something serious is about to go down, and we'd just really like to say "HEY! GENIUS! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR TOILET BOWL!"
This would be one of those times.
Trying one last time to not bark out in court, I take my owners coat in my jaws and try to pull him away. Still no reaction.
So much for that. I whine again hitting his thigh urgently trying to get him to move, when Anna Fitzgerald finally decides to speak out.
Oh, this should be good.
She takes the stand and Campbell takes his, OH so sweet time waiting for her to begin. I then notice he now looks as if he splashed his face with water, and his eyes are beginning to dilate. Fantastic.
"Anna," he says, "do you want a glass of water?"
Anna's expression tells me she is thinking the same thing as I. You don't have to be a trained service dog to know Campbell looks like a complete wreck.
Everybody's gotta choose the hard way.
I whine some more and add some high barks here and there trying to get Campbell's attention once more. Anna notices, and so does the judge.
"Mr. Alexander," he scolds, "please control your animal."
"Animal my tail." I bark back at him.
"No Judge!" Campbell tells me.
Am I the only one who foresees a really bad situation here?
"Excuse me?" The real judge exclaims thinking Campbell spoke to him.
"I was speaking to the dog, Your Honor, like you asked."
While Anna talks Kate, I start to get aggravated. How hard is it to take a warning? Ever since I was young, I've been trained to sense things. Whether it was the rate of someone's heart, or if that last jelly doughnut was still on the counter. I'm the one with the training. Take a hint already!
Let me tell you what this job requires physically:
1.) You must be able to spin around in circles like you see when a dog is madly chasing his tail. You know the times. When people bring out the camera to videotape it and send to Americas Funniest Home Videos.
2.) You must be able to jump at least five feet off the ground in one bound so you are able to, or most of the time in my case, try to get everyone's attention to the point where they will listen.
3.) Lastly, you must be able to make some type of sound that also gets everyone's attention. For me that would be barking.
All in all, this job is tiring. And there is a special corner in Hell, for those who sometimes wish they weren't service dogs. (Oh wait. I forgot. All dogs go to Heaven. Or is that just a movie?) I am proud to say I am not in that category, and I am risking my own personal health, and possibly sanity, to get Campbell out of here. So. Remember that next time your pet barks an order at you. Could save your life.
Sensing Campbell's heartbeat begin to escalate, I decide to put on show doing what some call "helicopter" spins in the middle of the courtroom.
I hear the judge say something in the background, but I'm to focused on telling Campbell to really hear.
"Come on! Get out of here!" I bark at Campbell as I leap at him.
He continues to ignore me. "You are going to regret this," I growl.
"Kate," Anna's says.
Well, Campbell gets his answer.
The girl's words act like a switch. Campbell falls to the floor with a thud.
Hate to say I told you so.