Chapter Eight – Bite My Tongue

OMG. I'm typing an update like, four days after my last one. I feel like a good person.
As always, review!
Saskia xxx (saskialouise)

~Rhia POV~

I sat on one of the stools in the kitchen, my hands wrapped around a mug of hot chocolate. My breath was shaky, and my head pounding. He's back? He came back the day I came back? What? I groaned and banged my head against the counter. Stupid, horrible vampire boy, ruining my evening with friends. I hadn't wanted to even think about him until I'd had a chance to settle in. Sure, I knew there was a possibility that he'd be back at the boarding house, but not that he'd arrive onthesameday as I did! How can I avoid him now?

I could hear a lull of voices carrying through from the living room. I'd stood in the doorway as Elena cried out in surprise and ran up to Damon, throwing her arms around his neck. She did seem a little too happy to see him. Alaric had stood up and shaken him hand, all manly like, and Stefan had nodded fondly at him. The moment Jenna commented on how we must have planned this, arriving on the same day, I left. I had sobered up way too fast, and now the shock at seeing him was mixed up with a banging headache and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Iwasnotreadyforthis. I felt a hand rest on my shoulder and I sprung up defensively, the remains of my hot chocolate spreading across the counter.

"Calm down Ree, it's only me." Jeremy held his hands up and I exhaled noisily. I whirled around, grabbing a cloth to mop up the spillage violently.

"Next time, can't you cough or break a glass to let me know you're there, Jeremy?" I asked angrily, taking my frustration out on him. I was like a minebomb – volatile and ready to explode at the slightest provocation. He frowned at me, concerned, and I sighed. "I'm sorry, Jer. I shouldn't have snapped at you." He smiled, taking the dripping cloth from me and wringing it out over the sink.

"Don't worry about it, cuz. You still might in a minute." I looked at him quizzically as I sprayed the counter, and cleaned the surface. "Damon asked me to come see you." My fists clenched reflexively. "He told me to say that he wants to talk to you."

"What, and he couldn't just come through and talk? Is he scared I'll throw a kitchen knife at him or something?" I said acidly. The counter clean, I flung the now chocolate-coloured cloth at the sink and dumped the empty cup in the bowl.

"Yeah, I think he is actually." Jeremy grinned as he sat on the stool next to me. "Look, I know you weren't ready to see him, and you kinda wanna avoid him at the moment, but you're gonna have to talk to him at some point, Ree. He's not going anywhere." Jeremy held my shaking hands in his gently.

"What's he been saying to you all?" I asked in a small voice.

"That he's back. That he wants to help us in whatever way he can. That he got bored of going from town to town. That he..." Jeremy trailed off, looking over my shoulder. I followed his gaze to the doorway, which Damon was leaning against. I tensed, my breath coming in short, sharp gasps. I met his gaze evenly.

"Thank you Jeremy." Damon said, not looking away from me. My eyes flicked to my cousin.

"Damon, I think-" Jeremy began.

"Thank you, Jeremy." Damon stared Jeremy down, his eyes like fire. He sighed, but stood up.

"If you need me, I'll be just outside, okay?" I nodded mutely as he left the room. I looked at my hands, the counter, out the window, anywhere to avoid looking at Damon. I didn't even look up as he sat next to me. I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my head. I studied my fingernails, and flinched as I felt him touch me.

"You changed your hair." He said softly, playing with a lock of my short, dark crop.

"Yeah." My voice cracked. I cleared my throat. "Yeah, it was easier." I pressed my lips together as he continued to play with my hair. I felt vulnerable, a feeling I hadn't experienced for...a while. I hesitantly looked at him from under my eyelashes, scared about the rejection I would find in his eyes. Instead, I found nothing but casual and detached affection. His eyes weren't cold, but they weren't warm, either. I inhaled deeply. "We need to talk." He looked away, smoothing my hair against my neck and removing his hand.

"Yes, we do." He agreed. I waited, expecting him to speak first. He didn't.

"What happened when you left me?" I blurted. He looked up sharply. "You said in your note that Lexi's boy was causing trouble, and Katherine was going to be difficult. And then you came back and never said what happened." His eyes burned me with ice, and I shivered. "Please, Damon. You and I both know this will be the easiest part of this conversation." I stared into the ice that was his eyes, biting my lip unconsciously. He sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. He looked...tired. Really, really tired. Almost as if he'd been hit to the ground one too many times. Defeated.

"It's a long story, Rhiannon." I carried on looking at him, waiting. "Look, I promise I will tell. I owe that much to you. But...I can't tell you right now." I looked at him, questioning. "It's just..."

"What, Damon?" I asked quietly. I was reminded of when he told me about him. When he came clean, and told me everything. Back before things were complicated. When we were...friends.

"Look, I need to feed. I've been on the road for two days straight. I need to shower, and I need to feed. I need some time to prepare myself, so to speak." He smiled at me, a ghost of his old easy affectionate smile.

"Damon, I understand that. But I need to know. Tonight." I sat up, feeling brave. He groaned and rubbed his hand across his face. "Damon, please." He stared at me, looking tortured.

"Fine!" He snapped, and I flinched at his sudden mood swing. "Tonight. I'll be in your room at 11." I froze, unable to speak as he stood up to leave. As his feet began moving for the door, I shook myself, and followed him.

"Wait!" I called. He stopped, and half turned back towards me. I walked right up next to him, our faces only inches apart. "If we are going to talk later...and if you're going to be in my room...can we at least be civilised? Friends, even?" I reached out and touched his cheek. He recoiled from my palm, but I didn't move. My hand cupped his face, and my eyes did not move from his. "Please, Damon. I can't be with...spend time with you otherwise. Yes, we have history, and it's awkward. But we can at least pretend." His eyes softened marginally, and his hand moved up and covered mine. My breath hitched in my throat. He took hold of my hand, and brought it down from his cheek. His fingers tightened around mine for a few seconds, then let go. My arm dropped to my side.

"Friends, then." He murmured. I smiled hesitantly at him, and he returned it. It still wasn't the loving smile of a year ago. But it was the friendly smile of before that. I was about to thank him, but bit my tongue. Why should I thank him for being civilised? I blinked, and he was gone. I shook my head slightly. Did that just happen?

I felt like I should hate him – hate him for his mood swings, for his rejection, for his inviting himself to my room later that night. I should dislike him for making my friends worry, and for...for just being him – arrogant, annoying, and too many other adjectives to list.

But at the same time, there was a part of me...quite a big part...that loved him. I worried about him, I didn't want him to be alone, I wanted the best for him, and I wanted him to accept me again.

You keep me on the edge of my seat, I bite my tongue so you can't hear me, I wanna hate every part of you in me, I can't hate the ones who made me.

Short, but only a few days after the last one! I'll try to update this week :)

Song credits – Bite My Tongue by You Me At Six ft. Oli Sykes, from the album Sinners Never Sleep. THIS SONG IS KICK ARSE, SO GO LISTEN TO IT NOW!

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