A Taste of Honey
by ~ Princess Rosamunde
A/N: I am so, so sorry that it's been forever since I've updated. I haven't forgotten this story, I promise. I just have been dealing with A.P.s and SAT IIs. But here we are, finally, with a new chapter of A Taste of Honey. Thank you to taliathecat, and Adam Badger for their reviews. As always, reviews are welcome and encouraged. But now, without much ado...I present to you the third chapter of AToH.
Chapter Three: September in the Rain
"Let's get a carriage." Marlene said as the rest of the school minus the first years rushed past us, nearly sweeping some (read: me) of us away.
"But, Marlie. There are six of us and the carriages seat four." Mary pointed out. "Five if we squeezed, maybe."
"Oh, look! There's Remus." Dorcas smiled, nodding towards Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew as the four came towards us. "I'll ride with him, Lily will you sit with us and James?" She asked.
"Fine. Fine." Lily grumbled, and she and Dorcas walked over to the boys.
I stood beside Marlene and Mary and Emmeline as Dorcas and Lily conferred with the boys. Lily, James, Dorcas, and Remus climbed into a carriage together. We all noticed as James offered to help Lily into the carriage, which she refused, giving him a dirty look. From behind my back came a bark of laughter. I jumped, startled, and whirled around.
Marlene and Mary shared a look of contempt.
"Hi, Sirius." Emmeline said, for that's who it was. Pudgy Peter Pettigrew was glued to his side.
"Hello, ladies." Sirius said, attempting to sound suave. And succeeding, I might add, as if his ego needed more of a boost. "My apologies, uh, Susie?" I looked around, confused. Who was Susie?
"No, Black, you idiot!" Marlene spat out. "This is Kit, short for Kitlana. She's Charlotte's roommate. Remember? Oh, wait, I forgot, all females look the same to you!" She grabbed Emmeline's arm and stomped off.
I thought Marlene was being a bit hypocritical. She barely knew who I was until today.
"Merlin, what did I do to her?" Sirius wondered.
Mary shot him a bitter look. "What do you think you did to her, Sirius?"
"Oh, right, that." Sirius shifted, uncomfortable. "I thought maybe there was something else-"
"Isn't that enough?" Mary said in a sort of dangerously quiet kind of voice.
"Of course." Sirius said and tried to change the subject. "Sincerest apologies, Kitlana. I can't believe I've never seen you before. You are a seventh year, right?"
I blushed, bright red. For some reason, the way Sirius had said my name makes it sound different, more me but prettier somehow. Probably because he was used to sweet-talking girls. "Y-yes, o-of c-c-course." I stammered out.
"Should we maybe, um, get in the carriage?" Peter said, speaking for the first time.
"Oh, Pete." Sirius said, ruffling Peter's hair. "Hungry already?"
Peter is a good head shorter than Sirius, so Sirius could get away with that. Peter pulled his head away.
"He has a good point." Mary said, crossing her arms. "Lily's carriage is gone and so is Marlene and Emmeline's."
"Alright." Sirius said, reaching out and grabbing the rail of the nearest carriage and climbing up the steps into the interior of the carriage. "Coming?" He asked, calling from inside the carriage.
Mary grumbled something about "the things I do for Marlene" and climbed up the steps of the carriage too. I followed her up, with Peter bringing up the end.
By the time I sat down, the carriage had begun to move and Peter tripped on the last stair, nearly falling on me. Sirius pulled at Peter's arm at the last moment, causing Peter to fall into the last open seat beside him.
"Sorry!" Peter squeaked, a faint blush washing over his face.
For once, I didn't blush. "I-It's fine."
We sat for awhile in a bit of awkward silence, me and Mary sitting across from Peter and Sirius. Sirius began to fidget. Like Mary, he could never sit still. Not in class, and not really anywhere else. "It's kind of dark in here." Sirius remarked.
"I guess." Mary snapped.
"We c-could o-open the r-roof." I offered. I didn't understand why Mary seemed to hate Sirius so much.
Sirius beamed at me, a wide almost doggy grin, where all pretenses vanish from his face. He was no longer acting - just himself, without façades. I think I like him better this way, I thought. He seemed more human, less perfect, more like me.
While I'd been musing to myself, Sirius had climbed up onto his seat and was yanking at the cords that controlled the inner workings of opening and closing the carriage's roof. With a final tug, the roof burst open, revealing a vast expense of darkening sky.
"Ahhhh, fresh air." Sirius breathed in deeply, once again fooling around.
Mary snorted.
And then, just like that, at the drop of a hat, rain began to fall from the sky. September in the rain. It was so very beautiful.
At least until it began to pour.
"Oh, shit!" Sirius cursed and stood up again to try to draw the ceiling close again. "Mary, goddamn it!" He shouted. "Help me here!"
Mary stood up as well, wet hair slopping into her face. "I'm trying, I'm trying!" She screeched. "Kit, hold this."
I climbed up beside her, and held the cord she indicated. Fumbling with the rest of the mess of cords, she yanked at them. Slowly, slowly, the half of the roof on our side began to come down once more.
Peter and Sirius were having a great deal more luck on their side than ours. Their half of the roof was just about shut. Sirius joined Mary and I on our side and grabbed the cords from Mary, tying the cords from each side together with a complex knot.
Mary slid back down onto the seat next to me. She smiled at me. Somehow she managed to still be very pretty with her messy wet hair and damp uniform. My hair was straggly and ugly. The curls had loosened themselves and I looked terrible.
"H-hang on." I said, barely stuttering. I pulled my wand from my robe pocket and pointed it at Mary. "Exaresco." For some reason, I generally didn't stammer when casting spells. The water evaporated from Mary's uniform and hair, leaving her as dry as before the rain. Unfortunately, I didn't have any skill with glamour charms, so her hair stayed a mess.
But Mary didn't seem to mind. "Thanks, Kit. Here, I'll do you." She pointed her wand at me. I heard the familiar incantation and a warm feeling crawled over me, leaving me dry and warm.
"Thanks, Ma-" I began, but she wasn't done.
With a second wave of her wand, she exclaimed, "Cirratus!"
At her words, my hair jumped back up into bouncy curls. I touched my hair; the curls were a little tighter than normal, but I kind of liked it. "T-thanks."
She smiled back, and then set to work on her own hair. Mary definitely knew glamour charms.
I liked her, I really liked her. I didn't know why. It was probably a little bit late to be realising this. She already had her set group of friends - not that I would have wanted to take her away from them - and this was our last year at Hogwarts.
Right then and there I made a promise to myself that this year would be different. This year I would make friends, I wouldn't focus entirely on schoolwork, I'd do stupid things just because they were fun, and I would not be shy.
Having decided this, I relaxed a little and watched as Peter and Sirius began a serious debate as to whether Pride of Portree (Sirius) or the Ballycastle Bats (Peter) were a better team. This appeared to be a long-standing argument and I suspected it was something the two do when there was nothing else at hand.
Oh, dear, I hoped that didn't mean Mary and I were too boring. Or rather, I was too boring. Mary was having fun with glamour and colour change charms and was just ignoring Sirius. It also didn't help that I was not very enthusiastic about sports, and hadn't the time to memorize statistics and teams and players' names, so I couldn't contribute to the conversation.
I told myself that this was my challenge, a first step. But I couldn't bring myself to speak. I got like this sometimes. My lips paralyzed and I couldn't seem to form any words. I didn't know why this happened or why it happened at some times and not others or why I stammered and stuttered so much.
When I was about twelve, after it had been a year since my stuttering and stammering had begun and I had become much quieter and withdrawn and it seemed as though these things were not going to let up, my parents decided to take me to go see a Healer. I remember the Healer examined me, and proclaimed me entirely healthy to my parents. I had all my faculties, no problem with my vocal cords. No history of a concussion or anything. She, of course, saw no signs of abuse that might indicate a problem. Then she suggested the idea that I might somehow have had some sort of traumatic experience.
"That's absolutely preposterous." Had said my father.
"She's our baby." My mother added, upset. A screaming match broke out between the three of them but in the end the Healer had her way. She turned to me.
"Kitlana." She said, in a soft, honey-sweet voice. "Has anything happened to you? Have you been raped, abused, threatened, anything?" My voice caught in my throat. I didn't know what to say. Or rather, I knew what I should say and I knew what I couldn't say.
"Please, Kit." My mother begged. "If there's anything that - just tell us."
"No." I choked out the word; I had looked my mother in the face, and for the very first time in my life, I lied to her.
I told myself that in the carriage hardly counted. After all, the school year didn't start until tomorrow morning. I was very good at lying to myself. I knew that I was putting off beginning to make this year better than all the rest before it and that I was being shy. Did this happen to other people - to Muggles - to Mums and Das? Had Mary stammered when she was little or had Sirius maybe had a lisp? Why did I react this way? Was it somehow a subconscious plea for someone to notice?
Never mind, I thought, there's no use psycho-analyzing yourself. "Um," I began to say, not quite sure what it was that I was going to say but forcing myself to speak. But before I could manage a single word, Peter interrupted.
"We're here!" He shouted, breaking off from a defensive statement about Ballycastle Bats player Finbar Quigley.
I joined Mary at the window on our side of the carriage, pushing aside the curtain in order to get that first glorious glimpse of Hogwarts Castle. Mary turned her face to look at me, and I saw that her face was awash with a joyful glow; it made her look prettier than ever. I realised that Hogwarts was probably home to her in much the same way as it was to me, and self-absorbed as I am, that surprised me. What could possibly have happened to Mary to make her feel that way?
"Isn't it perfect?" She asked, in a hushed whisper as though if she spoke louder the sight might fade or crumble.
"Perfect." I whispered back, although I couldn't help wondering whether Hogwarts would be there forever. What a silly thought. Of course it would. Regardless of whatever else was going on in the world, Hogwarts would always be a safe place.
The carriage shuddered to a stop and the four of us clambered out; all anxious, I thought, to be back at Hogwarts once more. All around us, fellow seventh years like ourselves and all the way down to the youngest -the second years; even I couldn't have been that small, could I?; talked, and shouted, and laughed, and yelled. One would have thought that the ride up in the carriages would have been long enough for conversation and conversation. It had certainly seemed like forever in our carriage, although perhaps that was merely because we had been talking very little.
I took a deep breath, even Hogwarts air tasted better.
"What are you doing?" Laughed Mary, as she watched me. I flashed through shades of pink, cherry, and scarlet, as my embarrassment grew. Merlin, stop embarrassing yourself! I scolded.
"The a-air." I said, pushing the words past my throat and out of my scarlet face. "E-even t-the air tast-tes di-different."
Mary breathed in dramatically. "Very different." She teased me. But she wasn't being mean, so I felt better, turned less red, and smiled tentatively at her.
We made our way through the swarm of people together, entering the Great Hall. Sirius and Peter had disappeared, probably on purpose, though I couldn't say I blamed them. And talking to one person was a lot easier than three.
"Mary! Over here." Marlene called from the Gryffindor table, indicating the seat beside her. Lily and Emmeline seemed deep in conversation and Dorcas had her head perched on her hand, gazing at Remus as he and James discussed the responsibilities of being Head Boy.
I stopped walking. This was where it ended. How stupid of me to forget. Mary had only been talking to me and walking with me because her friends weren't around. Maybe even because she was nice, but she was not about to choose me over them or invite me over. I mean, why should she?
Mary didn't notice that I'd stopped walking or else she pretended not to, and she walked over to sit beside Marlene. Within minutes, the two were chattering away.
See, I told myself. This was what you got for being shy. Not that it did much good.
No matter how much I told myself I would not stammer, I would not stutter, I would not be shy, there was always a moment when I froze, and I didn't know how to say what was perfectly clear inside my head, out loud.
The Gryffindor table was mostly full. Of course, it could not be completely full until after the first years join our table, but there were only a few number of seats where I could sit without being awkwardly next to second and third and fourth years I didn't know or fifth years that I should know better but I didn't.
There was a seat across from Charlotte and next to Kira. It was not the greatest spot because Charlotte and Kira don't particularly like me. But I'd rather not be standing alone in the Great Hall, while everyone was seated. Everyone would stare, and I'd be very embarrassed.
I walked over quickly, and slid into the seat next to Kira, making my arms into a wall onto the table, and resting my chin on them. It was a very relaxed pose, but I usually found myself adopting it when I needed to pretend that I felt fine. It was also more likely to keep someone from bothering me. I looked less vulnerable-
"Roe, Lottie, let's talk about this later, okay?" Kira said loudly, looking straight at me. She curled up the edge of her lip, sneering at me. "When certain people aren't around."
-and there went that theory. Uncried tears began to form in the corners of my eyes. I didn't know why I was so sensitive and I didn't know why Kira disliked me so much, but I knew one thing for certain: I absolutely, positively could not cry in front of her. It would make everything worse. She would know she could make me cry. She has said a lot of hateful things over the years, for no obvious reasons at least to me, maybe just to see how far she could go, but she'd never seen me cry in front of her.
There have been nights in our dormitory where I have cried myself to sleep, muffling the sound with my pillow. I'm sure Kira's heard that, although not all of that is because of things she's said. However, it is one thing for her to think she's made me cry because of muffled sounds that she's heard and a completely different one for her to see and to know that she can say something that will make me cry.
At least she had to stop talking for now, in order to clap for the first Gryffindor.
I kicked furiously at the bottom of my chair and blinked hard and fast. Think of something else, think of something else, I screamed at myself.
"Kit's not sitting with us." Lily remarked. "I thought I was nice to her. Was I nice to her?" She worried.
The table erupted in a chorus of clapping as a new first year made Gryffindor.
"Yes, Lily." Chorused Mary, Marlene, Emmeline, and Dorcas once the clapping had finished. While the four loved Lily as she was their center and a great friend, sometimes her worries that she hadn't been nice enough were a little annoying. Honestly, who really cared how nice she had been to some nobody that she would probably never talk to again? While it was nice of her to care, they found it a little strange that she worried so much about something so small.
The Gryffindor table cheered and clapped again.
"She probably didn't want to intrude." Emmeline said, speaking up. "It's not hard to notice that the five of us are really close. She probably was just trying to be nice."
Lily frowned, a crinkle forming on her forehead. "I guess."
The other three sent Emmeline looks of gratitude. Now they could move on to more cheerful and frankly more interesting topics.
Mary opened her mouth to speak and then wisely waited until a fourth round of clapping had finished.
"I heard that Margaret Stewart and Dorian Shaw broke up this summer." Mary said.
"How could you possibly know that?" Marlene exploded. "We've been back at school for less than an hour."
Mary smiled calmly, playing with her fork. "I have my ways." She said, sounding teasingly mysterious.
After more clapping and cheering, the girls resumed talking.
"Mmm. Dorian Shaw." Dorcas nodded approvingly. "You going after that, Mary?"
Mary grinned. "I might."
Marlene scowled. "Not if I can get there first."
Emmeline clapped her hands. "A wager! Have we got a wager than?"
Lily laughed. "Aren't we a little too old for this?" She protested.
"Definitely." and "Yes". Agreed Marlene and Mary, grinning.
After more clapping died down, Dorcas took charge. "You draw up the contract and rules, Lil, and Emmy, you can write the final draft."
Emmeline sighed dramatically. "It's not my fault I have such beautiful handwriting. Everyone's always taking advantage of me."
Benjy leaned over, a few seats down. "Who is this taking advantage of you? I'm the only one with that right." He teased.
Emmeline turned a fuchsia color. "Benjy!" She groaned, pretending to be embarrassed. "We'll discuss this later."
Benjy winked at her and turned back to his conversation.
"You two are too cute." Marlene said, for once meaning this in a good way. She smirked at Emmeline.
"Ooh, Emmeline!" Dorcas teased. "Look at you, all pink and embarrassed."
"Oh, shut up!" Emmeline said, trying not to smile. "I hate you all!"
Lily smiled and opened her mouth to speak but never got a chance to because just then Professor Dumbledore signaled for quiet.
"Welcome back, old friends and new. There will be a time for speechmaking, but this is not yet it. Tuck in!"
Applause broke out from more than one table as food appeared out of nowhere and filled the five long tables.
I smiled a little bit. Hogwarts cooking is amazing and no matter how hard Mum tried, I always missed it when I was away from Hogwarts. I piled my plate high with roast chicken, sausages, steak, mashed potatoes, carrots, and fried tomatoes, and poured myself a glass of pumpkin juice. I took a sip of my pumpkin juice. It was icy and just perfect.
Professor Dumbledore stood up at the staff table almost immediately after the food cleared. Likewise, the talk and laughter throughout the Hall quieted almost immediately as well.
"As we are all well-fed and rested after another magnificent feast, I ask for a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices," said Dumbledore. "First-years ought to know that the Forbidden Forest is, as its name suggests, out-of-bounds to all students - and a few of our older students ought to know by now, too." James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged smirks.
"As is the village of Hogsmeade to all below third year. Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he says is the four-hundred-and-forty-fourth time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things; a list of which can be found in his office.
"We are very pleased to welcome a new member of staff this year, Professor Whitehorn"— Whitehorn stood up, a length of gleaming black hair, braided down her back, gleaming in the candlelight, as she smoothed her white robes and then sat back down — "our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."
There was a smattering of polite but fairly unenthusiastic applause.
Dumbledore continued, "Those wishing to play for their House Quidditch teams should give their names to their Heads of House as usual. We are also looking for new Quidditch commentators, who should do likewise.
"Now, as everybody in this Hall must by this time know, Lord Voldemort and his followers are at large and gaining in strength."
"I cannot emphasize enough just how serious the present situation is, and how much care each and every one of us at Hogwarts must take to ensure that we remain safe. The castle's magical fortifications have been strengthened during the summer, we are protected in a number of new and more powerful ways, but we must still guard scrupulously against carelessness on the part of any student or member of staff. I urge you, therefore, to abide by any security restrictions that your teachers might impose upon you, however irksome they might appear to be — in particular, that you are not to be out of after hours. I implore you, should you notice anything strange or suspicious within or outside the castle, report it to a member of staff immediately. I trust you to conduct yourselves, always, with the utmost regard for your own and others' safety."
Dumbledore's blue eyes swept over us all before he smiled once more.
"And now, it is late, and I know how important it is to you all to be alert and rested as you enter your lessons tomorrow morning. Let us therefore say good night. Pip pip!"
There was a great deal of clattering and banging all around as everyone got ready to leave the Hall. I stood up as well but made sure to allow Kira, Charlotte, and Rose to get a good deal ahead of me. The swarm of Gryffindors followed Lily and James (as Head Boy and Girl) out of the Great Hall, as they led us up to the Gryffindor tower.
"The password is Bronte." I heard Lily explain to the first years up front with her and James, facing the Fat Lady. "The password will change around every week or so, and is the only way to get into the Common Room. Do not give out the password to anyone outside of Gryffindor. That being said, if you do forget the password, you may ask James or myself or one of the prefects."
I allowed myself a little smile. Bronte, hmm. Lily must have picked the password. Though I'd only read a few Muggle books myself, I'd seen Lily's copies of the classics lying around the Common Room enough times to be sure of the name.
Lily, James, and the first years entered through the portrait hole, which swung shut behind them.
"Why can't we go in?" Charlotte whined. "Why do the firsties get to go first and why do we have to wait?"
I rolled my eyes at Charlotte's antics, and accidentally caught Phoebe Lin's eyes. She smiled at me, and then tilting her head a little at Charlotte, rolled her eyes too. I nodded, smiling. I didn't know Phoebe all that well; she was a sixth year and a member of the Slug Club like me, which was all I knew. But it was nice to know that I wasn't the only one who found Charlotte annoying.
"Charlotte, shut up!" Kira hissed under her breath, clearly embarrassed to be associated with her friend at moments like these.
The portrait hole swung open a second time and everyone clambered inside.
I looked around the Common Room, once inside, and noticed that it looked exactly the same. Such a reassuring thought.
I followed the girls up the stairs to the girls' dormitory and into my dorm, where my trunk was waiting.
Charlotte, Kira, and Rose had remained downstairs so for the time being I was alone.
I cast "Alohomora." My trunk unlocked and I opened it. "Eximo." I said and my clothes removed themselves from my trunk. Finally, I pronounced "Sepono", which caused my clothes to fold themselves and put themselves away in the drawers of the dresser that were mine and hung themselves in the wardrobe.
I stood beside the window, which gave a beautiful view of the forest and grounds below.
Home at last, I thought.