Magdalane did retire to her quarters, but not to sleep. In fact, she doubted she'd sleep anytime soon. Instead, she paced. Around her sparse bedroom she went, wondering what in the galaxy she'd been thinking. She felt things she'd never allowed herself to feel before, and she had no idea what to do with them. Of course, I know the biology of this, she thought. I just never considered I'd feel like this. She only knew that she'd have to get a handle on this soon, or her mission would suffer. She decided that she would at least lie down and rest, if not sleep. When she finally did crawl into bed, she remembered something her Master, Yuon Parr, told her while she was training. You can control a lot of things, she'd said. You could choose to love or not to love. But the heart wants what it wants, and sometimes to ignore that is to weaken yourself in the force. Remember, padawan, love can be strength if it's shared, pain if it's not. She lay there, directly above where Felix was, and she thought she felt him smile.
Felix was by no stretch force sensitive, but he could hear her faint footsteps above him. Maybe, he thought, just maybe she's feeling some of the same things he was. But how do I approach her, he wondered, when I know she's as afraid as she is attracted? And if they did begin a relationship, how would it affect her career. Felix knew well how one event could derail the most promising career, and he swore he'd leave this assignment before he'd do that to her. He finally fell into a dreamless sleep.
They had received their next mission orders and were en route to Belsavis, a prison planet. It would take some time, and Magdalane decided to try meditation as a way to order her thoughts. She put on a soft , stretchy pair of pants and a tank top and made her way to the training room. She went through a series of stretches, still tired and thus unaware that Felix watched the fluid motion of her lithe form. He felt awkward just watching her, so he went in to speak to her.
"I've been thinking about our combat tactics," he said. "It's clearer to me now how you're able to move so quickly and defend attacks."
"Good morning, Lieutenant," she smiled. "I'm always grateful for any advice. I have been trained in combat by Jedi, but not by a soldier. I imagine there are lots of things you could teach me." At that, she blushed and stammered, "I mean, about combat."
He stepped closer, and whispered , " I'm sure we could learn a lot from each other, if that's something you want." He wasn't sure what had made him take that step, say that, when they were still dancing around their attraction to each other, but he wasn't sorry for it. They stood there, him watching her emotions play across her face, her eyes closed, and he just couldn't help himself—he leaned down and gently kissed her.
She opened those beautiful eyes in surprise, and yes, pleasure. He took that opportunity to put his arm around her waist and draw her against him, and to kiss her again, very tenderly, then place a kiss on her warm cheek. "Just a little something else for you to meditate on," he said, then he walked with some difficulty to the bridge of the ship.
Felix thought he might keel over before he took a seat. He didn't think he had it in him to be so forward with Magdalane. Other women, yes, he'd been with others. After all, he was in the military and had traveled to places where his armor and trim body had gotten him his fair share of female attention, but he'd never been with an innocent such as her. It worried him greatly, not only from a career standpoint. But, he had to admit, it sure made him sing inside to see her reaction. As his heart rate began to return to normal, he thought about the way she'd looked at him, how perfect she'd felt against him, and wondered how long he'd have to wait before he could do that again.