Magdalane walked back to her quarters, knowing she hadn't answered Felix about the council and how this might affect her work. She knew that Grandmaster Satele Shan had a son, but she didn't know the details of his birth. She also knew of several knights who'd been in relationships, and of course her mother and father were married, both of them Jedi. She'd been told in the past that while the council frowned upon involvement, their sanctions depended on the individual and how they handled themselves and their force use.
She didn't care, not really. She was exhausted with trying to deny herself, tired of willing away her feelings. She could feel the line at which hormones and biology warred with logic, and logic was losing. The entire time she was on Hoth, she worked the missions, but always with the knowledge that Felix was an arm's length away, sometimes closer. Now he was part of her crew, and she was impatient with waiting. She found him in the cargo bay, motioned to him to follow her, and walked back to her quarters.
When she'd locked her door and put up a force shield to isolate them, she turned to Felix. "I feel I owe you an explanation," she said. "I didn't explain the whole Jedi connection with relationships. There are many, my master included, who feel that love can actually increase force awareness. Others think it is a path to the dark side. The council will surely know if we advance our relationship, but you know what? I have dedicated my life to this work, left my family and trained for years. I don't care if they approve or disapprove, I need you in my life, Felix. I want you to be my one exception."
Felix took her in his arms, held her close, felt her tremble at the contact. He whispered to her, "Are you sure? I mean, are you sure you're ready for this? I don't want you to feel rushed, love, I'm not going anywhere. I definitely don't want to cause you pain, or create problems for you, but you have to know that I love you, and have since the first time I looked into your eyes on Hoth."
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life," she replied. She felt the tightness in her chest loosen, and kissed him then, the first time she'd ever initiated a kiss. Her ever present glow intensified then, and Felix was aware of the rush of joy it brought with it. He slowly drew her down onto the bed and just held her, stroking her hair and whispering to her all the things he'd been wanting to say and had held back. He was very careful with her, making sure she was ready for each step. He was quite surprised to find shimmersilk and lace under the plain robe she always wore, and she giggled at his expression when he uncovered her secret. Her giggles were quickly replaced though. She struggled with the effort of keeping the force shield in place when her senses were overwhelmed, and let it down, not caring if anyone passing in the hall could hear her moans.
Magdalane woke in the wee hours of the morning, Felix holding her close. She felt clear and focused for the first time in ages, and sensed no dark side presence at all. Using her force healing, she fixed all her sore spots, smiling at the memory of how she'd gotten them. Oh, Miriah, if only you'd told me how wonderful this would be! She moved to stretch her entire length against the gorgeous man she'd fallen in love with, only to realize he was awake and already reaching for her. Maybe, she thought, this time on Tython won't be as boring as I thought. She smiled in the darkness, and forgot about everything but him.