EPOV
Shit shit shit! What the hell was I thinking saying yes to Bella! This would only end in a disaster. She's going to end up getting hurt. I'm going to end up getting hurt.
Get a grip, Edward. It's one scene. This is your domain. You got this.
I took a deep breath and plastered a smile onto my face before going back to the party. Great. James is here. I hate this fucker.
"James" I greeted cooly "Nice to see you here."
He grinned, a bit too sardonically for my taste "Ah Edward. Nice of you to finally show up to your own gathering"
I resisted the urge to punch him "Work, you know how it is. Oh wait...you probably don't. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make my rounds" I smirked.
James was a lazy motherfucker. Never had to work a day in his life. Mommy and Daddy footed all of his bills.
"Edward!"
I turned and smiled at the sound of the voice. The bitch is back...
"Tanya" I returned her hug "How was your trip?"
"Great until my sister decided to give herself alcohol poisoning" she rolled her eyes
"Oh god..." I groaned "Again?"
"Yeah" she scoffed "Again. And I'm sure it'll happen several more times."
I shook my head in annoyance. Tanya was nice...but she was an enabler. Her sister needed to be in rehab, or at least around people who didn't encourage her bad habits. And yet, what does Tanya do? Take her alcoholic sister to Cabo for vacation.
"Who's that?" She asked, breaking my thoughts. I followed her stare and turned around, glaring as I saw James talking to Bella.
"Her name is Bella. She's new. If you'll excuse me, Tanya" I said quickly and made my way over to them. Just in time, it seems. I saw James reach out with one arm, a small smile in place, and Bella cringed away just before he could touch her.
"Bella!" I smiled, setting an arm around her shoulders "There you are. Let's go, I want to introduce you to someone"
She sighed in relief and looked up at me with appreciative eyes "James. Nice meeting you." she mumbled politely as I tugged her away
"Thank you so much" She groaned
I laughed with a nod. Yes. I knew how annoying James could be. "yeah he's a real piece of work"
"He's just so...forward" she shuddered
"What did he do?" I asked seriously "Did he say anything to you?"
"Oh no" she shook her head "He was just very blunt. He just made it clear that he wanted me, Edward. Honest."
I nodded with a deep breath. Now was not the time. "Bella...I suggest you stay away from James."
"Any particular reason?" She asked with a small smile
Smiling? Why the fuck was she smiling? "Would it be enough if I told you that I don't trust anything about him?"
She stared up at me for a few minutes before nodding "Yeah. I think I can trust your judgement on that."
BPOV
"Hey Heidi, I have an appointment with Edward at 1?"
She nodded at me, rolling her eyes at the person she was on the phone with "Hold please. Oh thank god" she huffed "This man won't stop talking my ear off about some new equipment he thinks we just have to have."
"Hang up on him" I laughed
"I have! 3 times. He just calls back. Anyways, just go on up, Edward is there."
"Perfect. Thanks, and good luck"
I made my way inside the elevator and took it up to the top floor, trying to calm my shaking nerves. I needed to mentally prepare myself for this conversation. I'm assuming Edward wouldn't be all that pleased had I shown up drunk. But honestly, how else do you talk about all of this so openly? Either I'm a frigid bitch, or there's something very wrong with me.
I made my way to his office and knocked on the mahogany door before I lost my nerve.
"Come in"
"Hey Edward" I smiled nervously, seeing him sitting behind his desk, hunched over some paperwork. He lifted his head and offered me a warm smile
"Bella" he greeted "One sec." he signed a few papers and then stood up, walking around his desk to greet me. "Hey. How are you?"
"I'm fine. You should probably ask Heidi that, though" I laughed
"Yes. That girl is always so stressed. I keep telling her to take it easy. Here, lets sit" he led me over to a small couch.
"Did you read over the paperwork I gave you?" he asked
Oh god. Here goes. "Yeah. I-I read them over...but-" i shook my head, trying to clear it "I really don't understand what this is going to be? I mean...I do...but-I guess what I'm trying to say is-no you know what...I have no idea what I'm trying to say" I rambled nervously.
Good Job Bella. You're a blubbering idiot.
"Relax, Bella" he laughed softly "This is just a scene. Between two consenting adults. It's more like a trial run for you. I know you've thought a lot about this. It's a new experience for you, and like any new experience, we need to take it slow. Find out what you like...don't like. That sort of thing. Why are you nervous?" he cocked his head to the side
Are you kidding me? Why am I nervous? "Why wouldn't I be nervous?" I exclaimed
"Touche" he grinned "Okay, lets rephrase. What are you nervous about?"
"Do you have this planned out? Or are you going to play it by ear...I don't understand how any of this works, Edward. I feel so lost and incompetent right now. Will you give me safe-words or-" I stopped myself, taking a deep breath before looking back at him "I feel like I sound stupid"
"Well to answer your questions, no I don't have this planned out. I never plan scenes out, well not completely anyways. We'll start slow and move forward based on your responses. That sound good?" he asked
I closed my eyes and nodded. Jeez. My cheeks were probably on fire by now.
"Bella." he said, and I felt his warm hands encase one of mine "Look at me"
I opened my eyes and found him smiling reassuringly at me "Just...calm down. Talk to me. Let's figure this out, okay?"
"I'm trying" I mumble, completely infatuated by him.
"I know." he squeezed my hand "And of course I'll give you safe-words. I don't condone scening without them. Ever."
"I'm not going to lie to you, Bella. Tomorrow will be hard for you. Because when you're scening or playing for the first time, it can take a while to get into that frame of mind. You really have to just listen to what your body tells you...try not to over-think things and really go there with yourself. And while I don't think you'll have trouble with much...you over-think everything" he smirked
"God I know" I groaned. I literally thought about every single thing in detail. It was a bad habit...one that got me into trouble often.
"And that's okay" he placated "Don't be frustrated if tomorrow doesn't meet all of your expectations. Good things take time."
I nodded.
"Okay. Let's talk logistics. Tomorrows scene will be about one hour. I'm giving you 2 safe-words. Yellow if you feel uncomfortable and need to slow things down, and Red if you need to stop the scene all together. Say them." he said seriously
"Yellow and Red" I nodded with a breath
"Good. Afterwards, I would like to talk about the scene. I personally do this after every scene, but it's honestly up to you. If you don't want to talk to me, that's fine also, but I suggest we do. Just to get any concerns or thoughts you have out there. What do you say?"
"I'm not sure how good at talking I'll be" I breathed out in a laugh "But sure, I would like to talk...or at least try I guess."
"Here" he said, handing me a packet of papers "Read these. They're my rules" he smirked "You can take them home and read them unless you want to discuss them right now"
"No" I squeaked quickly "Home is good." There was no way I was discussing these here...with him. I'd sooner die of embarassment.
"I thought so" he laughed "So do you have any other questions for me?"
"No" I let out a breath "I think we're good."
"The rules are pretty much self explanatory. If you do have questions though, don't hesitate to call me."
"Okay"
"I guess I'll see you at 3 tomorrow." he said with a small smile
"Right. 3." I repeated. What was I doing now?
Right...going home. I stood up and gave him a quick hug "Bye Edward. Thanks"
"Bella?" he called out just before I turned the knob "Just take a deep breath, and remember that you're safe with me. Okay?"
I nodded "i'll try and remember that tomorrow, Edward. Goodnight"
RULES: SUBMISSIVE
Basic Rules
Never be disrespectful to your Master/Dominant
Do not submit to be passed around as a sexual favor between Doms.
Use your safe-word to stop unwanted activity. We will talk about why after. You will never be punished for using it.
Always safe-word if suspended and limbs become cold or numb.
Remain constantly focused and alert. For the safety of yourself and your Dominant
Follow instructions exactly and immediately.
Limits
Do not allow permanent injury, scaring, cutting, burning
Never leave clamps of any kind on for more than 15 minutes. Allow blood to circulate.
Never allow yourself to be struck on ovaries or kidneys
Never allow yourself to be hit with whip or crop on the tailbone, head or neck.
No asphyxiation, water bondage, or breath play.
No edge play
No needle or blade play
No Extreme pain to be administered
No Fecal/bodily fluid play
No Fisting
No whipping
Rules upon entering playroom
Upon entering playroom, Submissive will discard of any/all clothing, kneel, sit back on heels and place hands on top of legs, palm up. Eyes will be cast down and will stay in position until Dominant gives other instructions.
Submissive will be respectful and mindful of Dominant at all times.
Submissive will never orgasm without permission.
Submissive will only speak given permission to do so; unless to safe-word.
Submissive will never look directly at Dominant, unless given permission.
Submissive is expected to safe-word if uncomfortable, or in any pain. Safe-wording will never result in punishment.
Submissive will always refer to Dominant as 'Sir,' unless otherwise stated
Submissive's safety is always priority to Dominant. Dominant will always ensure Submissive is safe.
Bella,
Upon arrival at Edges tomorrow, proceed to Room number 16 at 3:00 pm. Get into position and wait for me to arrive.
Jesus. I was panting. I set the list down and leaned back on the couch...how the hell was I going to pull this off with Edward Cullen? The man could read me like an open book.
Any normal person would be completely horrified by this piece of paper. But me? I'm panting at just the sight of them. Jesus it's going to be a long night...
"Hello?"
Oh god. What the hell am I doing? Why the fuck am I calling him at 11pm? Fuck Fuck Fuck! I have to say something...I mean...it took me an hour just to dial his number. And then another hour to actually push send.
"Hello?" his impatient voice came through the line again "Bella..."
"Hi Edward" I squeak out. Ugh.
I hear his soft chuckle on the other end "What's up, Bella"
"I think I called you on accident. Sorry, i'll let you get-"
"Hold it" He interrupted my rant "You didn't call me on accident. Talk to me, Bella. What's going on"
I suck in a large breath of air and stare down at my fingers. How do I explain?
"Hey" His tone is softer now and he pauses for a moment "Close your eyes"
What?
"Just do it"
He knows me so well. I do as he asks and lean back into my couch
"Relax. Take a deep breath, and tell me." He coaxes
Hmm. he's good at this. "I'm scared" I whisper into my cell
"Let me guess. You're scared, and doubting your decision" he says easily
"Yeah" I breathe
"Stop thinking. This is something you've wanted for a while. And you're letting your nerves get the better of you. Look, if you're doubting yourself, if you find yourself not trusting yourself...trust me. This is who I am Bella, and I swear to you that I won't ever steer you wrong. I'm very good at what I do, I'm a perceptive man. You know that. If you don't enjoy tomorrow, I'll notice. If you find that it's not to your liking, that it's not the right lifestyle for you, I'll notice." He says so seriously and diligently that I have no choice but to believe him "You're a strong woman, I promise to take care of you anyways though" he's smiling! Why is he smiling!
"How do you do it?" I breathe in awe. How is it that he's able to calm me down in just 2 minutes?
"I've been in your shoes. I know how it feels." he says simply
"Terrifying" I whisper
"Horrifying." he laughs softly
"Edward." Zafrina said quietly but firmly
"Zafrina?" I asked in question
"I know you're doing Bella Swans scene tomorrow. I love you, Edward. You know that. But that girl...she's completely infatuated with you"
I scoffed with a shake of my head "I'm a mentor to her, Zafrina. Nothing else."
"If you truly believe that than you're an idiot" she shot back, a hint of a smile on her lips "Please, please don't lead her on if you don't intend to take things further. And you know what I mean. Not a scene here or there. Bella wants a relationship. No...she needs a relationship. And I'm pretty sure you already know this."
"How do you know this?" I was starting to get a little annoyed. What the hell did Zafrina think she was playing at
"Bella and I are great friends, Edward. I really like her. I see how she looks at you...she trusts you." she said softer "But-I'm afraid that you'll pull back...like you always do."
I sucked in a sharp breath and glared at her. No. We were not discussing this shit now. No fucking way. "I'm going to stop you right there." I snapped "While I appreciate your concern for Bella, I don't believe this is any of your business."
"It is my business. And I'm sorry if you think it's out of line. But can I just say that I think you would be really good for her?" she asked, sitting down in one of my leather chairs. Great. she was staying.
"Yeah?" I scoffed "Why's that"
"You like her, Edward!" She exclaimed in annoyance "I just-I don't want to see either of you get hurt. You know as well as I do that Bella isn't going to be parading around the club with different Doms...I mean you do know that right?"
"Yes, I'm aware."
"So...after tomorrow. Maybe a week from now, maybe a month...when she finds someone she wants to start being exclusive with?" she shrugged sadly "You're going to get hurt. I don't want that either. I love you like you're my own brother, Edward."
I sighed in annoyance, but felt my heart warm at her admission. "I don't want to hurt her, Zafrina" I murmured tiredly "I'm not ready for a relationship though. You know that"
"No. I know you're ready. I wish you had as much faith in yourself as I do. It's been so long! How long are you going to keep going on like this? You can't be happy. All you do is work. You work at the hospital and then you come here. It-it's not a life, Edward. If you would look at yourself in a mirror, you would see how run down you've become. I want the Edward Cullen I met 5 years ago." She whispered and I was startled to find tears shining in her eyes "You put on a good face. But you can't fool family. Alice has seen it. Your parents have seen it. They're worried about you"
"You talked to Alice?" I hissed "What did she say"
"Nothing out of the ordinary. I'm not trying to upset you. Just...be careful, okay? And try to follow your heart a little more. Forget about your head, it's not that great anyways" she teased before standing up and walking around my desk "At least give me a hug you ass." She glared when I didn't stand up
I sighed and stood up, pulling her into my arms for a friendly hug "I know you're pissed at me right now. But you'll appreciate it later."
"Thanks" I muttered
It was going to be a long night...
I sigh for what seems like the thousandth time in my car. It's 2:35...I suppose it's time to go in. I've been sitting outside of the club for at least 30 minutes, wondering if this is truly what I want. And...there's no doubt about it. Sure I was terrified beyond belief...but isn't that the case with most new things?
I finally get out of my car and make my way through the large doors. "Hey Heidi" I manage a small smile on my way to Room number 16.
"Hey Bella" she grins
Dammit. Does everyone know? How embarrassing. I shake my head and continue on to my destination, letting out a breath when I finally reach it. A large mahogany door stands in front of me, with the numbers 16 engraved on it. I slowly reach out and turn the knob-it clicks open and I step inside.
Jesus. H. Christ.
As quickly as I can, I scurry inside and slam the door shut behind me, leaning back against it and trying to catch my bearings. This wasn't just a room...it was-
A large padded table sat in the middle of the room, all kinds of straps and restraints hanging around it. To it's left was a large sawhorse, to it's right a large wooden cross. The entire outer part of the room was adorned with drawers and cabinets...probably holding sinful things if I were to guess. Behind the table was a large vacant area, nothing set on the ground, just long ropes and restraints hanging from the ceiling.
That must be for the suspension...I did do my own share of reading.
Several other machines sat in the empty room but I had no clue what they are.
I scan the area and find a small cushion to the right of the door. Bingo.
Slowly discarding my clothes, I take care to fold them and place them neatly in a corner before checking the time.
2:50
Damn. Almost time.
I notice that the temperature has been turned up, despite my current state of undress, I'm not cold. Jeez. Does he think of everything?
I slowly lower myself onto the pillow and rest back on my heels, place my palms flat on my thighs and lower my head.
I can't breathe. I can't do this.
No! You can do this. You need this! You want this.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes, willing my body to stay in position and not run, screaming for the hills as I'm so tempted to do. I'm safe. Vulnerable...but safe.
Edward. Edward was safe. He would take care of me. I had my safe-words. There was nothing to be afraid of. I'm in a safe environment.
I froze. Breathing and all as I heard the door click open. A cold chill ran down my back and I had to restrain myself not to turn towards the noise when the door clicked closed.
I closed my eyes as the footsteps got closer.
"Breathe Isabella" Edwards quiet voice floated through the air. Hmm, Isabella...why did that sound so fucking hot coming from his lips?
I let out the breath I was holding when I felt his warm palm gently caress my head.
"Good" he said "Now relax. The hardest parts over." Yeah right...
His hand left my head and I could see the tops of his bare feet as he stood in front of me "Look at me"
I lifted my head and fought to keep my eyes open as I saw the intensity of his stare. This was Dominant Edward. Everything about him screamed confidence and authority. His eyes were darker somehow...everything more defined. "Are you okay?"
I opened my mouth to answer before remembering that I didn't have permission to do so. Score!
The corner of his mouth twitched up into a small smile "You may answer. For future reference, when I ask if you're okay, you are to answer immediately. Thank you for remembering my rules, Isabella"
"Yes sir" the words rolled off my tongue "I'm okay."
Oh god. I was blushing. Sure of it. In fact, my entire body feels flushed. But if Edward noticed, he was either too much of a gentleman to point it out, or simply didn't care.
"What are your safe-words?"
"Yellow and Red, sir" I said
"You may look back down, Isabella." he said and I lower my eyes to the ground once more, watching as his feet disappear from my view.
Where the hell was he going?
"We'll be testing out various different instruments today, Isabella-" My head immediately snapped in the direction of his voice. Why did he sound so far away! Shit! I noticed my mistake immediately and turned back around, staring down at my hands.
Fucked up already.
"Isabella, did I give you permission to move?" he asks. He doesn't sound angry?
I remain silent, conscious not to make another mistake in such a short amount of time
"You may answer"
"No, I'm sorry Sir" I reply, voice sounding shaky even to my own ears
"Take some deep breaths and relax. You don't need to be afraid. Would it help if I told you what I was doing?"
I was starting to get a glimpse of how Edward worked. He's always teaching...giving ample time to learn.
"No Sir" I say, a little stronger now. I definitely did not need to know what he was doing...in fact that would probably give me a stroke.
I never got an answer, but I took deep, calming breaths as I heard him rustling around the room. Gathering whatever it is he needed.
I was so caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't hear him approach "Isabella" he said, and I opened my eyes
"I'm going to blindfold you. This is our first exercise. Trust."
"Are you still okay?"
"Yes sir" I replied. I was nervous, sure. But definitely still okay to continue. I've come this far. There's no way I'm backing out now.
A soft wrap flitted over my eyes and then I saw nothing. I felt him fastening the straps over my ears.
"Stand up" he said, one of his hands wrapping around my forearms as he helped me balance. I stood up fully and was surprised at how discombobulated I was. "easy" was his soft response to my swaying
The hand that was on my arm tugged me forward and I tried my best to follow. Although, the fact that I'm clumsy as hell when I can actually see probably didn't help my situation.
"Trust me?" He murmured as we came to a stop. I was about to nod when I felt a soft restrain close over my left wrist.
I heard a soft gasp escape my lips and he continued, binding my right wrist as well. My arms were stretched out over my head, in each direction.
"Spread your legs"
Oh sweet jesus. I'm going to cum just from hearing him speak. I did as I was told "Wider" he said, tapping on my right thigh
I complied, biting back a groan when he bound both my ankles as well. I was now standing spread eagle before him. He could literally do anything he wanted to me. And the thought turned me on to no end...
"How do those feel, Isabella? You may answer"
"They feel good, sir" I said softly
A soft groan escaped my lips when a soft tickling sensation flitted over my ribs and around my back. "And this? How does this feel?"
"Good sir" I panted as the soft sensation came around the other side and up over my breasts. "Ah!" I gasped. A dull sting replaced the sensation over my abdomen. And it felt so good!
The object struck me again, this time higher, just the ends brushing my breasts. Yes. This is what I've been craving. What I've been wanting since day 1.
Soft licks peppered my body, and I could feel myself growing warmer. How long is he going to keep this up? Please don't ever fucking stop.
I heard a loud groan escape my lips when the tails landed just above my naval. Shit.
EPOV
I stopped and stepped back, assessing her body. It was a beautiful shade of pink, I watched her chest rise and fall with every breath she took. Yes she's definitely enjoying herself.
"Are you okay, Isabella" I asked, gently running my fingers over her sensitive abdomen
"Ahhhhhh" She moaned "Yes sir"
Already so far gone. I smile. She's so responsive...to my touch, to everything.
"I'm going to use a pair of nipple clamps on you. Are you still okay?" I asked, grabbing a soft pair I had laid out.
I hear her suck in a sharp breath "Yellow" She whispers out hesitantly
Mm, yes, this is expected. "They're very soft. I'm going to try one, if you feel it's too much, use your safe-word, understood?" I had no doubt in my mind that she would love them. Fear of the unknown...I could push her a little.
"Y-yes Sir" she said hesitantly
I gently cupped her right breast in my palm and ran my thumb back and forth over her nipple. "Oh my god" She whimpered
"Did I ask you a question, Isabella?" I smirked, pinching her now hardened bud between my fingers
"unghhh No sir!" She moaned "I'm sorry"
"Deep breath" I instructed, waiting until she had done as I asked, and attached the clamp, smiling at her deep groan of approval "Not so bad, hmm"
She shook her head, breath coming out in loud pants as she struggled to take in all the sensations I was giving her. "You're doing so well" I murmur in reassurance and stroke her hair briefly "Deep breath again"
I stood back and gazed in awe at her. She truly was gorgeous. Flushed and completely at my mercy.
BPOV
"Lets count your transgressions, shall we?" His sultry voice floats through the air. How can one human being sound so fucking sexy?
"I'd say 5 strokes for moving without permission, and 5 for speaking without permission." he was circling around me, like an animal would it's prey.
I needed something. I didn't even care that he was talking about punishment. I felt my arousal dripping down the inside of my thigh and groaned. I was embarrassingly wet, and horny for that matter. "Count" he stated
And he struck me there, right where I had been dying to be touched, to feel anything. "Isabella." He waited patiently. Huh? What was I-oh!
"One Sir" I said quickly.
"Two Sir" I panted
"Eight Sir" I groaned. Oh god. If he hit me again I was surely going to cum.
I felt the end of whatever he was using run down the inside of my quivering thigh "Mm so wet already, Isabella?"
"I'm sorry sir" I said softly
"And why are you sorry?"
"I-May I please cum, sir?" Jesus. Can I get one sentence out without stumbling like a fool?
"Hmmm already? I don't think so" he murmured "Listen to your body, Isabella. Let the sensation wash over you. Stop thinking" his alluring voice whispered into my ear "You don't need to think here. Let me take care of you"
I hummed in approval, as if I were under some sort of spell. Nothing mattered. Only him. I let the warm tingly sensation take over my body, and I felt it all the way down to my toes. My head felt fuzzy with arousal.
The instrument stroked the inside of my thighs softly as he spoke "Do you know how gorgeous you are, Isabella? Completely tied up at my mercy?" he flicked one of my nipple clamps and I had to bite my lip to contain my cry of pleasure. Shit.
"2 more." he said and ran the end of what I now assumed to be a crop, through my folds. Oh my god.
"Ohhhhhhhh" I cried helplessly jerking towards him
I heard his deep, soft chuckle before feeling that delicious sting between my legs once again "9 Sir" I panted. One more. Just one more.
"10! Sir!" I gasped, using everything I had not to orgasm at that moment. Jesus christ. He had barely touched me.
"Good girl" he praised softly, and I felt him unclasping my restraints, first my arms, then legs. His hands gently massaged my arms and legs for a few moments "Are you okay?"
"Yes sir" I whispered softly. I had the sudden urge to please this man. I would do whatever he wanted me to. He was the center of my attention.
"Walk forward" he said, and this time I didn't hesitate. I stepped forward, one foot after another, no stumbling. "Stop" he instructed "Turn around"
As soon as I turned around I felt soft hands around my waist picking me up and setting me down on a table? The padded table? "Lie back"
I slowly leaned back until my back was flat against the cool leather. He gently slid me up so I was in the center and my legs were no longer dangling off the edge. I hummed in content; feeling two soft hands gently massage my upper arms, then move down to my legs. Jesus. These hands.
"Isabella?" he sounded amused. why would he be amused
"Hmm?" I hummed
"I asked you a question. Are you sore or stiff?"
Oh shit. I needed to snap out of it! "Sorry sir" I breathed "No. I'm fine"
I didn't get a response. His hands left my legs and I bit back a groan when I felt his breath against my ear "How are the clamps, Isabella?"
"G-good sir" I panted when one he flicked one. Jesus H. Christ!
"Relax for a minute. When you're ready, I want you to turn on your front, resting on your forearms and knees" He said, and I felt a rush of air as he walked away from me.
I sighed and took a few deep breaths, trying to assess my body. I was horribly worked up. There was no doubt in my mind now that this was for me. This is what I wanted...no needed. The control, the submission. I loved every single minute of it. And the best part? I feel like I belong here. Letting out the breath I was holding, I rolled over onto my front and lifted up onto my knees and elbows. I jumped, startling when a soft hand ran down the expanse of my bare back "Calm down Isabella. You're doing so well"
"Thank you sir" I whispered, feeling myself blush at his praise
The hand that was now resting on my lower back pushed down "Arch for me"
I pushed my ass out and curved my back inwards, feeling more exposed than I had before. "Beautiful" his soft voice rang through the room, an equally soft hand caressing the curve of my ass. And that's when I felt it. No, well first I heard it! His hand came down sharply on the curve of my ass, making me gasp loudly at the sensation.
"Onee-"
"Shhh" his hand rubbed circles to soothe the sting "No need to count sweetheart. Close your eyes and feel. You may vocalize as much as you want"
I groaned, barely able to get my breathing under control. Jesus. I could hear myself panting. His hand came down again and again, invoking feelings I never knew I could exist. I felt like I was floating, my ass felt tender, but the good kind. Warm. Tingly. Sensitive. And damn if I wasn't turned on by it.
"Still okay?"
"Mhmmmmm" I hummed out, unable to form words at this point
His chuckle echoed through the room "I'll let that one slide since it's your first time" he mumbled "By the way" he whispered hotly into my ear "That was a warm up"
And seconds later, something harder, thicker, with a dozen tails hit my behind. Another flogger? This one was different though. "I want to hear you, Isabella"
He continued to flog me for a good while, alternating where his blows landed and the force behind them. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, they stopped. The room was dead silent. His breathing matched mine. Heavy...loud...the only thing I could hear in the room.
I was shaking. No trembling. I could feel it...like a rush of white heat was running through my body, and I didn't know how much longer I was going to last. Not in this position, not without any release. I sucked in a large gulp of air and let it out slowly, trying to get myself under control.
"Mmm I think someone's ready" Edwards deep husky voice said. Two hands came around my abdomen and flipped me over so I was lying on my back once again. he set me down carefully to not disturb my already sore behind. "Stretch your legs out for me"
I slowly distended my legs, wincing slightly as I stretched the muscle and let them rest flat on the leather. He draped each of them over the sides so that my legs were partially dangling off the table, spread wide. "AHHHH" I screamed involuntarily as some sort of vibrator pressed against my all too sensitive clit.
"Oh my god" I whimpered, feeling my body jerk wildly under the buzzing toy. Shit. I wasn't going to last. This- "Please may I cum?" I whispered desperately, hands stretching out and gripping the sides of the table I was on.
"Count backwards from 10, and ask again properly this time" Edward stated, not letting up on the wand
"Ohhhh 10-9-8-" I counted as best i could until I got to "0. Please sir, May I cum?" I asked, shaking my head in fear that he would deny me again. I wasn't going to be able to hold back this time-
"Yes" He said
I groaned, white heat shooting through me, head thrown back, as pleasure rolled through me in waves. I felt like I was being shot upwards, towards a-
"Do I get a thank you?" came his amused voice
I panted and softly responded "Thank you sir. OH god"
"Had enough?"
I nodded frantically. How long was- Shit shit shit- How am I still coming? This was torture. My back ached with the angle I was at no doubt, I could feel beads of sweat forming on my harline...sweet Jesus. Was he ever going to stop?
"Sure?"
"Please" I cried, pleading with him to stop. It was too much.
Finally, the buzzing came to an end and I sighed in relief, resting my back on the leather again. Jesus christ. I was panting...I could feel sweat on my forehead and fought not to fall asleep.
"How do you feel?" he asks with wide eyes. Is he concerned?
I'm silent for a moment "Strangely emotional" I whisper, looking down at my hands which are playing absentmindedly with the imaginary piece of lint on my jeans.
I hear him blow out a long breath and before I know it, my legs are draped over his and I'm leaning back against the arm of the couch. His hand rests on my left knee, thumb rubbing small circles over it. "Good"
Good? What the fuck did that mean? I stare over at him and shake my head in confusion "I-I don't-"
"Hey" he drawls out, pulling me in so my side is resting against his chest. "Did you enjoy our time?" he asks simply, and I have no choice but to nod against his shoulder "Then there's no problem. Is there?"
"No" I whisper "I don't understand. Does everybody feel like this afterwards?"
"It's called sub-drop. Or coming down. Many people experience it. No matter how long they've scened or been affiliated with this lifestyle. It happens to almost everyone. Sometimes it's worse than others." he explains and I feel a little lighter. I'm not stupid...I'm not the only one.
"Okay"
"Relax, Bella." he coaxes
"I am" I murmur
"You're very tense" He objects "I can feel you. Just...relax" his hands come up and gently massage my shoulders. "There" he hums when I close my eyes and let myself melt against him.
"I'm sorry" I say against his shoulder "I just dont know how to do this. What to say..."
"Just talk to me" he shrugs slightly, as if it's no big deal "Was there anything I did that you hated?"
"No" I whisper, feeling a blush cover my cheeks, and my entire body for that matter. Jeez. I don't know if I can do this. I would rather just go back in the playroom. At least there I don't have to think so much.
"Absolutely nothing?"
"I don't really have much to compare it to, Edward. But no. There was nothing that I wouldn't do again." I sighed, desperately wanting this conversation to end.
"Okay" I hear a smile in his tone "Do you have any questions for me?"
"God no" I groan with a shake of my head "I-definitely don't."
His chest rumbled with the chuckle he let out "Alright, Bella. I'll put you out of your misery. Go home. Take a hot bath and relax. You did well."
Weeks passed since that day. Edward and I had become good friends...he had this wall. An emotional wall that I could practically see. He was afraid to let people in...let people too close. I wonder what happened to make him this way.
I was much more sure of myself. I wanted to scene again...to feel taht sense of direction. But fuck work. Work had a way of creeping up on me. Half of the year I'm bored, sitting on my ass and watching reruns of Gilmore girls, and the other half? I barely have time to pee because of all the editing I have to do.
BPOV
"Hey Marcus" I smiled as he walked into the elevator
"Bella! What are you doing here at this hour?" he asked
"Oh visiting Heidi. I was just leaving"
"Well would you happen to be free? I'm just about to grab some lunch" he offered
Lunch? With Marcus? I guess I could do lunch...Is that weird?
"Yeah I can eat" I nodded
And I guess that's how my relationship with Marcus started...
"Hey Edward" I smiled
"Hey" he muttered, not even sparing a glance in my direction
Huh. What's up his ass? "Did you get my text?" I asked, sidling up beside him as he walked to the elevator "You know about the-" the next words died on my lips when I found him glaring at me. Practically burning a hold through my head. What the hell had I done now?
"Did you have lunch with Marcus?" He asked sharply
"Uhm yes, I did. Yesterday" I answered in confusion. What the fuck is wrong with him!
"Why" He stated
Okay. Now he was starting to piss me off. "Why what" I snapped back "Why did I have lunch with a potential friend? What's it to you, Edward. You've never asked me out."
He pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers, something he did when he was frustrated beyond belief. "I have work to do. If you need to speak to me, make an appointment" he said brusquely
"Seriously?" Was this even real right now? He was mad because I had lunch with-
"Bella please" his tone softened fractionally "Just-just go"
I turned on my heel and walked away from him before I chewed him out for good. That wouldn't go over so well in public. What an ass. A pompous, arrogant, cocky, ASS! Who does he think he is? It's not like he's ever asked me out to lunch or anything for that matter. So what the fuck does he care.
Before I even knew what I was doing, I had my cell out and was already dialing Marcus's number "Hey Marcus" I said when he picked up on the 2nd ring
"Bella, what a pleasant surprise"
I smiled "Do you have any plans for tonight?" I asked
"Nothing I can't get out of. What did you have in mind?"
"Dinner?"
"Dinner sounds good. I'll pick you up at 8"
Mission accomplished. So...why didn't I feel as good as I thought I would?
Another fucking phone call?
What is it with Fridays...oh god. I groaned seeing the caller ID.
"Hello" I said shortly
"Bella" Edwards soft voice rang through the receiver. he actually sounded...sad? "Is this a good time?"
"Good as any" I stated, trying not to be rude
"I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I was having a horrible morning and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm really sorry. I'm happy you're finding-" he stopped short before continuing "If Marcus makes you happy, then I'm in full support of you and him."
"Thanks Edward" I said quietly. Shit. Why do I feel guilty? I did nothing wrong!
"So...apology accepted?" he asked
"Apology accepted" I said honestly
"Just...go slow, okay Bella?" He said in soft sadness before hanging up.
I DON'T WANT MARCUS! I wanted to scream at him. I WANT YOU!
I found myself having lunch with Marcus again a few days later, and as satisfying as it was to have a friend...as satisfying is it had been, I missed Edward. I missed talking to him...I missed his smile. His laugh...
"Bella?" Marcus said, waving a hand in front of my face
"Huh" I shook my head, clearing my thoughts, "Sorry Marcus, what were you saying?"
He looked on at me in amusement and lifted his wine glass to his lips "I was asking if you'd like to come over some time. Maybe get to know eachother...and just so I'm making my intentions clear, I would like to scene with you...and if that goes well...maybe we can move further"
Holy shit balls. Marcus wanted a relationship with me? He wanted to be my Dom? I must have looked like a fish out of water because he nudged my mouth closed with a small chuckle "Don't look so surprised, Bella."
"Sorry" I coughed in surprise "I just-I mean...you want to scene with me?"
"Why is that so surprising?" He rose an amused eyebrow
"Marcus, I'm very new to this lifestyle, I'm sure there are hundreds of women out there willing and even hoping to scene with you. Women who will probably be much better equipped than me, so forgive me if I'm confused, but...I just need to know. Why me?" I ask quietly.
"Isabella. You're beautiful, and anyways, I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?" he smiled, leaning back "i'd like to take you one a couple dates...get to know eachother. We'll start with one scene" he said "When you're comfortable of course. And go from there. Why pretend this isn't leading there? It's who we are"
True. I nodded in agreement and he continued "I'm not asking for a definitive answer today. Take some time to think...but I will ask one thing of you"
"what's that" What could he possibly want?
"Say yes to dinner with me on friday night" he grinned
Dinner? Like a date? Marcus is nice! He's not horrible to look at...he's also no Edward. I shook my head, clearing my thoughts and nodded. I had to stop thinking like that. Edward clearly wasn't interested. "I would love to go to dinner with you on Friday, Marcus"
"So there are no misunderstandings, this is a date" He rose an eyebrow
I rolled my eyes with a smile "I figured."
Although my relationship with Marcus was progressing, my friendship with Edward was slowly getting back to where it was. And by that I mean he was no longer burning holes in my head when we spoke... Everything was great with us except when Marcus was around. I made the mistake of showing up at the club with Marcus one day...that did not go over well. Needless to say, that'll never happen again.
"Hey Edward" I said with a small smile. I could never gouge his mood these days.
He looked up from the paper he was reading and smiled back at me. Thank god. Good mood today. "Hey Bella, what are you doing here?"
"I live 3 blocks from here. Needed some coffee for my next manuscript." I shrugged, still standing awkwardly in front of him, clutching my warm coffee. Did I stay? Sit?
A corner of his mouth twitched into a small smirk for a second before he motioned to the chair across from him "Would you like to sit?" he asked
I took the seat and set my cup down, certain a small blush covered my cheeks. Why did he still have that effect on me? I was with Marcus now!
"So what are you doing here? This usually isn't your scene" I asked
"Needed to get away from both offices for a while. Heidi's driving me insane and the hospital won't stop paging me. I'm not on-call today so don't look at me like that" he rolled his eyes
I closed my mouth and shrugged sheepishly "Sorry"
"Anyways, thought I'd just read for a while."
"Thats good. You should get away once in a while. You always look so tired, Edward" I said.
"You've been talking to Zafrina?" he accused with a small smile
I shook my head "No" I laughed "Just perceptive. That's all."
"How are you and Marcus?" he asked
Oh god. Awkward! "We're good..." I said, internally cringing "Taking things slow..."
"Good" he said softly "I'm glad. He's treating you well?"
"He's been great" I reply softly.
We sit for a few more awkward moments before I can't take it anymore. "I better go. At this rate I'll be up all night."
Edward chuckled "Marcus won't like that. You better go."
What? "What do you mean?"
He narrowed his eyes for a moment before regarding me with care "Bella...have you and Marcus talked logistics at all?" he asked in mild incredulance
"What type of logistics, Edward."
"Have you discussed limits, rules, anything of the sort?"
"Not yet..." I mumbled. Jeez...were we supposed to do that already? I mean we'd only been dating for a month. Marcus did say he wanted to scene together soon though...he felt like we were ready.
"Take my advice. Discuss this with him before you get into anything." he said seriously "And I mean anything, Bella. It's important."
"I don't-quite know how to bring it up" I sighed in frustration. I'm at a loss here. I'm always at a loss it seems. Fuck.
"It doesn't matter. If you can't talk to him, your relationship won't work." he said. And he wasn't being rude or malignant... He was also right. How could I scene with this man if I couldn't bring up the mere topic of it?
"Should we have discussed this already?" I ask curiously "I mean...he's mentioned scening soon...I just figured we'd bring it up closer to the date."
"Every relationship is different, Bella. But Marcus should know better. He has certain expectations...and he-" he stopped himself. What the fuck was he going to say? "Just...talk to him and figure out what he wants from you before you get too far in, please. You'd be surprised how many relationships are incompatible because of sexual preferences" he lowered his voice. "I'm telling you this because you should have discussed these things by now. Especially already knowing what you're getting into. Marcus should know better."
I sat back in my seat and stared at him in mild shock. Why did he always have to be right? Was there anything he wasn't fucking good at? "I'll talk to him soon." I didn't know what else to say! What else do you say to that?
"Breathe, Bella" he said in amusement, I think "Just talk to him."
"Thanks, Edward." I say sincerely "For all the help..."
"Of course. Call me if you ever need anything, Bella. Seriously, okay?"
"Oh!" I remembered "Heidi said you were going on a trip soon? Doctors without borders?"
He grinned with a nod "yeah, next week. Going into Syria for 3 weeks."
"Syria?" I exclaimed. Syria was ridiculously dangerous right now! What the fuck was he thinking? "You can't go to Syria!" I screeched before slapping my hands over my mouth. Godammit. My big mouth.
"No?" he grinned "Why not?"
"It's dangerous?" I offered lamely
"I'll be careful" he sat back and cross his arms. That fucker. He was enjoying this
"Please do."
He stared at me for a long moment before I visibly saw his eyes soften "Don't worry about me, Bella. I'll be fine."
"Lets have dinner before you leave" I blurted out. Was it me, or did I sound desperate?
"Maybe you should ask Marcus-"
"Marcus isn't my father or my Dom yet, Edward. I would really like to have dinner with you before you leave." I spoke calmly. Now I had to ask permission to have dinner with my friends? Maybe I really didn't know what I signed up for.
"You're a difficult one, you know that" And I think he's teasing by the smile on his lips "Okay. Lets do dinner."
"Make it sound like such a chore."
"I leave next wednesday" he said, ignoring my comment "When is good for you?"
"I can do Monday or Tuesday" I grinned. Why did him agreeing to have dinner with me make me so happy?
"Tuesday night it is, Ms. Swan. Where will you be taking me?"
"I believe I'll be cooking, Mr. Cullen" I stood up "I'll text you my address. 8 o' clock good for you?"
"Sounds good" he smirked "Bye Bella."
I walked out of that coffee shop feeling better than I had in weeks.
"It's open!" I shouted. Fuck. I was running late already. I told Edward to be here at 8 for dinner. Dinner would take at least another 40 minutes and it was already 8:15.
"You know, you really shouldn't leave your door unlocked." His amused voice floated through the kitchen as I was stirring the risotto.
"Hi Edward! I would come say hello, but I can't stop stirring this" I turned my head and shot him a smile "I'm sorry I'm running a little late."
"Anything I can do to help?" he asked
"I'm actually almost done here. The salmon is going to take a little while longer." I said, turning the heat down on the risotto and covering it with a lid "I'm really sorry, I hope you don't have an early flight tomorrow" I babbled, turning around to face him. My breath hitched in my throat when I noticed he was standing right behind me "Hi" i murmured
He let out a breathy laugh and kissed my cheek, sending tingles throughout my entire body "Hi" he mocked softly "I brought wine." he held up a bottle
"Thank you! Can you get the wine glasses down? Top shelf in the 3rd cupboard"
I checked on the salmon one last time, making sure that it was cooking properly and closed the oven again. "Edward?" I called out when I didn't see him in the kitchen
"In your living room. Is this you?" He sounded like he was laughing hysterically. Ah shit. What did he find
I made my way into the living room and groaned when I saw him clutching a very distinct pink frame in his hands "Put it down, Cullen"
"Not a chance" he grinned "Who's the nerd"
"His name is Kyle. He was my date to winter formal." I said defensively
"Your braces" he sputtered with another laugh "So proud of them"
"Should have seen my teeth before the braces"
"Here" he put down the frame and held out a filled wine glass
"Thanks" I took the glass from him "Lets...sit"
We sat across from each other. Me on the love seat and him in the large arm chair. He looked so at ease...one leg cross over the over, completely relaxed agains the leather of the chair. I cleared my throat and tried to make conversation "So, uhm, are you excited for your trip?"
"Sure" he shrugged "It'll be good to get away for a while."
God give me something here, Edward. I hate silence. Hate it.
"So, have you spoken to Marcus yet?" he rose an eyebrow, while taking a sip of wine
You're good, Cullen. "Not yet." I said shortly just as the oven beeped "Oh. Dinners ready. You can come help me"
I turned and made my way to the kitchen, inwardly rejoicing that I had dodged a potential disastrous conversation. "Here," i said, handing him the bowl of Risotto "I'll be in with the salmon in a second."
Dinner went well. We talked about everything but Marcus, and for that I was grateful. He seemed to enjoy dinner. Overall, it turned out well...not my best, maybe next time.
"Oh no, Edward" I waved off when he tried to help with the dishes "It's fine. I'll just load them into the dishwasher later."
"Are you sure? I don't mind"
"Your last night in the U.S. and you want to do dishes?" I teased, putting a hand on his shoulder. Hmm, the wine must be getting to me "Lets go sit"
He looked down at my hand and then back at me with a small smirk "Alright."
"So tell me more about this program you're going with" I said, curling my legs underneath me on the couch, next to Edward. I could practically feel his warmth. I wanted to crawl into it, have his strong arms surround me-
"You've never heard of doctors without borders?" He interrupted my thoughts
"I have. But I want to know details."
"Well we're going into Syria to help the civilians that were caught up in any cross fire. We take a minimum supply of antibiotics, equipment, vaccines...anything else we think they might need. Set up camp and clinics, that sort of thing"
"That sounds really good, Edward. Do you have the military as detail or anything?" I asked, trying to keep the concern out of my voice
"Worried about me?" he grinned
"You're my friend. Of course I'm worried about you"
"No military. Don't worry. We usually never get caught in anything. People generally leave us alone."
"Oh, I have something for you." I murmured, reaching down onto the coffee table and grabbing a folder.
He took the blue file from me and stared in confusion "It's my manuscript. You said you wanted to read some of my work...It's fine if you don't." I said quickly "I won't be hurt or anything. I just thought you might like something to read while you're away and-" A gentle hand on mine cut me off
"Stop" he laughed softly "Stop freaking out. Take a breath, Bella"
"Sorry" I muttered, feeling my cheeks burn
"I would love to read it. Thank you." He said sincerely, green eyes searching mine. "What's it about?"
"Just about some life experiences. I can't really explain it. It needs a lot of work. I thought maybe you could help?"
"I'll read it while I'm away." he said softly
"You'll be the first" I smiled nervously "I'm nervous."
"I remember you saying that once." he smirked
"Oh god, Edward!" I huffed, knowing he was referring to our scene.
"Sorry" he conceded, putting his hands up defensively. "I better go. I haven't packed and I have an early flight" he stood up
I felt a twinge of sadness creep in. 3 weeks without Edward. I followed suit, walking him to the door "Edward" I said before he could open it
He turned to face me and smiled "You're an open book, Bella. Please don't worry about me"
Before I knew what I was doing, I took a step towards him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. Closing my eyes and savoring this moment. His arms came around me after a beat and hugged me back tightly "I'll be fine."
"I know" I nodded against his shoulder "Just be careful, okay?"
"Thanks for dinner. It was wonderful." His hand rubbed my back gently before pulling away "You can cook me a welcome home meal" he grinned
"Count on it" I whispered "Good luck, Edward."
A/N: The more I dabble in this, the more I really do think I need a beta. Anyone know of a good place to get one?