Chapter 4
Another phone call? This was beginning to be a little much. "Hello" I answer as nicely as I can. I was unable to completely disguise the annoyance in my voice.
"Isabella" Marcus's smooth voice comes through the line. "It'sMarcus."
Yes. I'm aware it's you, Marcus. This is your 5th phone call in the past 2 hours. What the fuck is he playing at? "Hi, how are you?"
"It's midnight, Isabella" he says like I was a half-wit that can't tell time "Why are you still awake"?
"Marcus" I sigh quietly "Same answer as last time you called. I'm working; I have a ton of scripts to read." Was that rude?
Well...calling 5 times past the hour of 10 is kind of rude too, I thought to myself.
"And what time are you meeting with your editor tomorrow morning?" he asked.
What the fuck does that have to do with anything? "8:30" I respond wearily. Maybe Edward was right...I seriously needed to discuss my limits and expectations with Marcus, soon.
"Ah 8:30" he says calmly "So...even if you go to bed now, you still won't get more than... 7 hours of sleep?"
"7 hours is plenty, Marcus. I'd really like to get back to work now if you don't mind. I'll call you tomorrow?" I say desperately.
"Sure Isabella. I'll speak with you tomorrow. Good luck on your meeting." and he hangs up.
Finally, some peace and quiet.
"Hey Heidi" I smile "Is Zaf around?"
"Yeah, she's in her office. Please tell me if you're going on your lunch. I'm dying to get away from this headset for a while" She groans.
"Well it just so happens…"
"Isabella?"
Shit. Fuck me. I knew this would happen. I turn slowly and plaster a smile onto my lips "Hey Marcus...what a surprise"!
He smiles and kisses my cheek before greeting Heidi "What are you doing here?"
"Meeting Zafrina and Heidi for lunch." I shrug, why did that feel like a loaded question? "What are you doing here?"
"Helping out an old friend..." he says, eyeing me with care. "I never heard from you after your interview. How'd that go?"
That was definitely a jab. "Sorry, I barely had time to get over here, the interview was great, it went until 11:30 and I had plans with Zafrina at 12, so I'm actually a little late" Am I babbling?
"We were just going. Did you need anything from me before we go Marcus?" God. Bless. Heidi.
He shakes his head "You ladies have a good time; and Isabella, call me when you have some time, okay?"
"Sure thing, Marcus". I said reassuringly.
I wait for Heidi as she walks around her desk and links arms with me "You better start talking." She whispers, tugging me along to Zaf's office.
"Trust me. It's complicated".
"Bella!" She sighs and opens the door without knocking.
"Heidi!" I admonish "Zaf I'm so sorry we didn't knock" I glare at Heidi.
She rolls her eyes and waves us off "Ready for lunch?"
"Before lunch, Bella has something to tell us" Heidi grins at me. I want to punch the smile off her mouth "Seriously, spill."
"There's nothing to spill!" I groan in annoyance. I don't want to talk about this right now. I miss Edward. Marcus is starting to really get on my nerves. And I have a ton of work to do. Is a lunch with my friends without drama really too much to ask?
"Leave her alone, Heidi" Zafrina says finally, seeing my inner turmoil.
"I'm just- I'm trying to figure things out with Marcus, okay?" I say finally "I'm so lost with him."
Heidi's eyes soften and she nods "Fine, but please talk to us if you need to".
"I will. Now come on. I'm starving."
This is normal right? I mean...this is what I wanted. I wanted this type of relationship. No... I want. I still want it, but do I really want it with Marcus?
Maybe a minute to think about things wasn't a good idea. I feel like I'm trying to convince myself. But what the fuck do I know?
Edward is gone.
Edward isn't into you.
Marcus is here.
Marcus wants you.
It was a simple equation really. So...why does it feel so wrong?
"Hey Bella" Marcus's voice came through my thoughts. I looked up and forced a smile as he kissed my cheek.
"Hey Marcus".
He takes the seat across from me just as the waitress comes over "What can I get for you today?" Asks the pretty blonde who has striking blue eyes, and the most perfect curvy figure... I looked like a teenage boy compared to her.
"We'll have 2 cappuccinos please" Marcus said.
Wait did he just order for me? And a cappuccino? "Sorry, can you make that one cappuccino? I'd like an espresso" I said, watching his reaction closely.
His mouth set in a hard line at my order change. Well...I don't like cappuccinos!
Before he could comment "We need to talk, Marcus" I said calmly, completely betraying what I was feeling inside at the moment.
"It appears so."
"I don't quite know how to do this." I start "But...Edward said we should go over-"
"Edward?" he asked, raising a single eyebrow "You've talked to Edward about us?"
"I needed perspective." I defended "I've never done this before, Marcus! I'm scared! I'm lost...I don't know how to proceed".
"And you didn't think to talk to me about it? Rather than going to him" he hissed in annoyance.
"You're right; I shouldn't have had to go to Edward for help, but you've done this before why haven't you addressed expectations before now?" I hiss back at him.
He looks taken aback for a moment, and just like that, he recovers. "You're absolutely right" he says after a few beats "I had planned on taking care of business today" He reaches into his bag and pulls out a stack of papers.
Shit.
"This is a contract. Just a basic one, it can be modified however we see fit. But I'm not entirely sure you're ready now that I've found out you've been talking to other Doms about your issues and concerns, instead of coming to me."
Jesus, why is he so worked up about this?
"I'm sorry I went to him. But if it makes you feel any better, I've talked to Zafrina about us as well. She thinks we need a trial period".
He took a deep breath and nodded, motioning for me to go on.
"We haven't discussed what you're looking for at all. But ... I know I'm not looking to be in a 24/7 submissive relationship. I want to be us as well. I want to get to know you...to potentially..." I trail off, a blush coloring my cheeks.
"Date me?" he finishes with a small smile.
I nod and let out a breathy laugh "Yes."
"So, weekends then?" he says in question. I can't tell if this is what he wants or not.
Hmm, so he can be reasonable, and I thought this was going to be a lost cause. Or did I wish it was?
"Yes. Weekends would be ideal"
"I want that too, Bella" he says "but I will warn you. I'm a jealous man..." he smirks.
I cock my head to the side "Why would you have to worry about that?"
His eyebrows shoot up "You really don't see yourself clearly, do you?"
Why does everyone say that! "I don't understand"?
"I know" he sighs, "Okay Bella. Why don't we...try out a weekend? This weekend, you'll come to my house and be my submissive. And during the week...we'll be us. We'll work on building our relationship. In the meantime, can you fill these out for me? It's just a list of your hard/soft limits. And anything else you think would be important to inform me of before we start sceneing"
It sounds so reasonable. "That sounds good" I say softly, and just then, our drinks arrive.
I see Marcus's eyes wander over to our waitress; they linger over her perfect perky breasts that are stunningly displayed with her low cut V-neck. This does not bode well for our future. I'm getting a little worried about him…
Fuck. I miss the shit out of Edward.
I sighed, setting my keys, wallet and iPhone on the table before picking up the stack of mail I had yet to look through.
Bills...bills...more…bills...junk mail...Edward...bills...EDWARD?
I gasp, ripping it from the pile and practically tearing it in half in my attempt to open the simple white envelope. I pull the single sheet of paper out, adorned with his physician's scribbled handwriting that's just legible.
Bella,
First off, can I thank you forgiving me some amazing reading material? I may be biased since I'm eager to know everything I can about you , but seriously, you have a gift. It's ridiculously dull out here , especially at night when everyone else is asleep and my insomnia kicks in. I'm almost halfway through your manuscript, and while it needs work, it's a great start. And I do mean great. Your view of reality and life astound me. The perspective and depth you go into...I've truly never read anything like it. And that is completely unbiased! Do you know how hard that is to accomplish?
It's like I'm unraveling pieces of your life, page by page. The way you describe everything...the world, you go into such detail. I feel like I'm standing there myself.
But can I give you some advice?
Focus on yourself. Forget about the rest of the world. Forget about everyone and everything else for a minute. And ... tell us more about you. The way you perceive things, not the way people want you to perceive them.
Ilookforwardtofinishing.Sincerely.
Actually, I've written a few things myself...maybe we can discuss them when I get back? I'd love your input.
So I assume you'd like to know how I'm doing now.
I let out a soft laugh, and picture him smirking as he wrote that
Well, to answer your question. I'm fine. Really, I am. The work I'm doing out here is strangely more fulfilling than anything I've ever done before. And the local culture is just wonderful...very accepting.
I hope you're well, Bella. I hope you're happy and things are working out for you. You deserve to be happy.
See you in a couple weeks. I'll be expecting that welcome home dinner.
Yours,
Edward Cullen
I sniffled and wiped a single tear from my cheek before holding the letter close to my chest. He liked it. He liked my manuscript. He was okay. He was alive.
I desperately wish I could call him...hear his voice; ask him what the hell I should do! I feel so lost and conflicted. I need advice...I need to hear a voice of reason.
He sent me a letter.
I laughed softly and set the letter back inside the envelope. For the first time in weeks, I felt a genuine, giddy smile take over my lips
He wrote to me.
Another checklist. Can't he just use the one I filled out for the club? I quickly fill it out, same as last time. Marking "hard" for the obvious ones….Fisting,Watersports,whipping,caning…etc.
And then come to the "Any other important information you think I should be aware of before we go into the playroom"
I think and think…I don't believe there's anything I need to tell him before we start to scene? What the hell was I supposed to put there? My phobias? My past experiences? How would any of that be important…I mean unless he was planning on bringing snakes into the playroom to torture me with. In which case…PSYCHO!
Setting my pen down, I lean back against the soft leather of my chair and sigh. I need to talk to someone. I picked up my phone.
"Hey Bella"
"Hey Zafrina" I mumble into the phone, groaning when I see the time. 10pm already? Dammit! "Oh god, I'm sorry to call so late!"
"Don't worry about it. We're just watching some TV. What's up? Is everything okay?"
"Yeah it's fine…it's just- I'm filling out some paperwork. For Marcus."
"What kind of paperwork, checklists and such?" She asks "Hold on honey. I need to take this" she says to her husband.
"Sorry to take you away."
"Stop it and I told you to call if you needed to!" She exclaims "So, you said you're filling out paperwork for Marcus. Are you planning to start a trial period with him soon?"
"Yeah this weekend, "I- I" was cut off by Chris on the other end.
"Who is that?" I hear him ask "It's Bella!" Zafrina hisses "Can you please just give us a minute!" She sounds exasperated.
"Babe…Marcus was in one of the playrooms at the club on Monday. And I'm going to go ahead and assume it wasn't with Bella, cause if it was, we need to have a serious talk since she's just now doing the paperwork."
"Of course it wasn't Bella!" She exclaims "Bella and I had lunch with Heidi on Monday."
"Excuse me!" I sputter "Marcus was at the club doing a scene with someone Monday?" Oh. Hell. No. And he was trying to give me shit for not calling him that day? This is not what I signed up for.
"When did you meet with him to discuss all of this?" she asks.
"Yesterday afternoon. We had coffee." I say, suddenly very angry. Who does he think he is? I made it very clear that I want to get to know him. To be monogamous!
"You need to talk to him." She states "Ask him why he wouldn't tell you that he was with another woman at the club that day. Especially when you ran into each other! What an ass!"
"Zafrina!" Chris admonishes seriously.
"Oh come off it, Chris. You know it's true. He's deliberately playing mind games. Not to mention, Heidi should have been informed. She's supposed to know about any and all activity going on in the club. He's breaching protocol and you know it."
"Will you guys stop fighting because of me?" I huff.
Shelaughsontheotherend "Oh honey, this isn't a fight. You should have come over last weekend if you wanted one of those." She said trying to lighten the conversation.
"I'm sorry. I need to call Marcus and see what's going on. This isn't normal right? I mean…I'm not just being paranoid or unreasonable?"
"No Bella" her voice softens "You're being cautious, and this isn't normal. He should have told you what he was doing at the club that day. Don't second guess yourself just because you're new to the lifestyle. That's how you get into trouble. Talk to him. Figure out what's going on. And call me back, okay?"
"Right now?" I ask incredulously, it was already 10!
"Yes right now. And call me back after. I don't care how late it is."
"But Zaf…it's 10"
"Now! Bella." She demands.
A small smile pulls at my lips "Are you sure you're the submissive one?"
"I'm hanging up now. If I don't hear from you in an hour, don't be surprised if I'm at your apartment." She says before hanging up.
Bitch.
I quickly dial Marcus's number, before I lose my nerve and anger. I can never stay angry for very long…
"Bella?"
"Hello Marcus" I say calmly "Is this a good time?" Hmm…that was pretty damn good!
"Good as any." He says easily "What can I do for you?"
"Why didn't you tell me you were with another submissive on Monday" I blurt out in anger. Shit. That's not how I wanted to say it!
Silence. For at least a minute. "We hadn't signed a contract much less discussed one, Bella." He answers after a few moments "I had no obligation…"
"Let me get this straight. You had no obligation to me, yet you were pestering me about how much sleep I was going to be getting the night before?" I ask seriously "Do you understand how much of a double standard that is? I thought we were trying to build up a trusting relationship…"
"Please don't be upset, Bella" he pleads "It wasn't anything. I was helping an old submissive train. That's all. She asked me as a favor."
I take his words in, and they do nothing to calm me. I'm pissed. I don't trust him right now. "I don't think this weekend is a good idea, Marcus" I say quietly.
"Because I trained with another sub before we even reached an agreement?" He asks in disbelief.
"No. Because I don't think we know each other well enough. If you knew me, you would know that what you did would never have been okay with me." I can't believe the words that are coming out of my mouth. Where did this strength come from? "I think we should…get to know each other first. Then when we trust and understand each other more, we can proceed into the playroom."
"So you don't want to come to my house as my submissive this weekend?" He states in question.
"No. I'd like for you to take me out to dinner. A date. I want to know you before I commit to anything, Marcus. You seriously undermined any trust I had in you because of this."
"Can I ask you one thing?"
"Sure."
"How did you find out?"
That's what he was worried about? Seriously? "Does it really matter?" I ask softly "Look…I'm not saying it's out of the question. I like you. I'd like to…build a foundation before we jump into anything. Am I not worth that?"
"Of course you are" he sighs quietly "Okay Bella. We'll do this your way. I'll pick you up for dinner on Friday at 8. Is that good for you?"
"That sounds great" I manage a small smile "Thanks, Marcus." Though I'm not sure he really does understand my feelings.
"I'm sorry, Bella." He says, sounding sincere.
"It's okay." I whisper "I'll see you on Friday. Bye."
A/N: First off, HUGE thanks to my wonderful beta aabcarr!
I hate writing filler chapters, I have absolutely no motivation to do them and it takes a lot out of me. Usually they completely suck. But rest assured, just a few more! Please let me know what you think
Hope you guys like it 3
I noticed after posting that a lot was wrong with the spacing of the story! Fixed that and added the breaks. Sorry for the confusion!