A/N: I'm working into the Jared/Kim relationship. Please, let me know what you think. Review!

"You're in a car with a beautiful boy, and you're trying not to tell him that you love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling, and you're trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist. You feel your heart taking root in your body, like you've discovered something you didn't even have a name for."

It seemed, after years of being the object of Kimberly Connweller's unrequited affections, that Jared Cameron was determined to make up for lost time.

In essence, he wouldn't leave her alone. Which was to Kim's delight and almost everyone else's chagrin.

To Jared's friend Paul Lahote, Jared's sudden interest in Kim was wearing on his already thin patience because Jared would not shut the fuck up about her. Paul could only take so much description of Kim's dimples and hair and teeth and smile before he found himself bored sick of the girl and ready to punch something (preferably Jared).

To Rory, the whole affair did not match up to anything she could have predicted and just, logically, did not make sense. Rory did not like things that didn't make sense. At all. So generally, she took a passive-aggressive stance against the relationship and complained about it a lot.

To Natalie, Jared was an unwelcome, unwanted, and unsolicited stalker that she had to put up with because Kim was so goddamn in love with him. She was quick to roll her eyes at any lovesick behavior from Kim or Jared, or Kim and Jared together. She had also none-too-gently slapped Kim in an effort to snap her out of her Jared-induced funk. Jared, of course, objected vehemently to this treatment of Kim and in retaliation, he did not like Natalie much.

To Alex, Jared was a pretty cool guy, and Alex couldn't bring himself to interfere in Kim's social life, although he voiced his opinion (it was more of a detailed analysis of the prospective relationship) far too often for anyone's comfort.

To Laura, the whole scenario was a mind-blower. Laura could not fathom what Jared saw in her sister Kim, especially after he acquired his new bod. Jared had dumped Sloan Hammond, Alpha Bitch of the junior class, to pursue Kim Connweller, and to say it was causing a stir would have been an understatement.

To Jared and Kim? Well, neither one of them could stop smiling.

"Favorite…flower?" Jared asked her during their free study hall period on the Friday after Jared had officially noticed Kim. Neither one of them was really itching to get into Physics homework or anything, and Pre-Calc was generally just less appealing than interrogating one another.

"Um…delphiniums, I think," Kim blushed, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her hair and looking up at Jared through her long eyelashes. He grinned down at her, running his hand through his hair, which Kim had discovered was a nervous habit of his.

"Cool," Jared nodded to himself as if cataloging it in his brain. He faced her again, a blinding smile stretching across his handsome features. "Favorite food?"

"Banana bread, hands down," Kim answered confidently. "Natalie's mom makes this amazing banana bread for whenever they have people over, and it's just…wow. I can make banana bread, but it's nothing to Mrs. Wright. Mine always comes out too moist."

Jared frowned at her. "I doubt it. I bet you make the best banana bread anywhere." Kim scoffed loudly, rolling her eyes as if he had some hilarious joke. When Jared didn't join in on her laughter and instead stared at her seriously, obviously having been completely sincere, Kim just blushed and let out an awkward laugh.

"You'd be the only one," Kim said softly, too softly for him to hear her. He frowned again as if he had, but that was impossible—she'd barely breathed it!

"So, favorite animal?" He continued his interrogation with a slight wrinkle between his brow, and Kim was startled by the need to smooth it out with her finger. Maybe kiss it out, too…

As wonderful as that sounded, she couldn't embarrass herself anymore than she undoubtedly would by the end of this conversation. Besides, she was only partially sure he would kiss her back if she kissed him. Oh, God, what if he was repulsed by her? What if she had spinach between her teeth? What if her breath smelled? What if she salivated too much? Laura had said that almost nothing was grosser than swimming in a lover's spit while kissing…oh, God, she'd be one of those really nasty kissers, wouldn't she? Her heart raced, a crazed battle drum hammering inside her suddenly tightening chest.

But kissing him would be…amazing…

"Kim? Kim?" Jared's large russet hand was being waved frantically under her nose. Oh, God. She'd totally spaced…about kissing him! Fuck my life, Kim internally groaned."Kim? Are you okay? Do you need to go to the nurse? See a doctor? I'll call 911!" This would have been kind of funny if Jared hadn't been completely 100% serious about calling 911. He even had his cell phone out of his pocket, poised to dial three letters and call an ambulance.

"Oh God, Jared, I'm sorry! I totally spaced! I'm okay," Kim assured him, placing a comforting hand on his arm. Or, at least, it was intended to be comforting. Instead of calming down, Jared seemed to zone out for a second, his whole body tensing up. He closed his eyes, taking labored breaths through the nose, the arm Kim still touched trembling slightly. The touch itself, while meant innocently, became something more as fire seemed to radiate from his arm into her hand.

Jerking back as if she'd been burned, Kim blushed furiously. "So…um, favorite animal…" she attempted to return to his original question awkwardly, but luckily, Jared was also keen to dispel the sudden tension that seemed to erupt between them at the intensity of her innocent touch and eagerly jumped on her opening for conversation.

"Yeah, what is your favorite animal, anyway?" He grinned slightly, a lingering awkwardness between them.

"Well, I've always liked…squirrels." Kim's lips twisted in an uncharacteristically wry smirk.

Jared was incredulous, staring at her open-mouthed but with good humor in his dark eyes. "Squirrels? Of all the animals on the planet, you pick squirrels?"

Kim knew he was just teasing her, and the more time she spent with Jared, the easier it was for her to be around him and not make a complete idiot of herself. Emphasis on the complete. "Well, you see, when my friend—well, Natalie, obviously—was around six or something, she was outside in her backyard and, oh, I don't know what she was thinking, but she decided it would be a good idea to catch a squirrel or something. And, well, the squirrel went…nuts on her," Kim was extremely proud of herself; she'd made him laugh, even if it was with an extremely cheesy joke. But still, score! "And she has always been terrified of squirrels ever since. I tell you, it's the funniest thing, and whenever I need a laugh or something, some squirrel always wanders right next to us or something and she flips. I've liked squirrels ever since." He was laughing out loud now, attracting the eyes of other study hall-goers; in the spirit of their flirtations, Kim put her hands on her hips and attempted to look sternly at him. It was ruined by the mirth in her eyes and the twitch of her lips, however.

"Well, what's your favorite animal, if you're so intent on dissing mine?" Kim challenged, and he gulped back his laughter.

"Easy," he answered without hesitation or preamble, "a wolf."

Kim froze, the image of the wolf in her backyard coming to the forefront of her mind. She'd seen it every night since the first night it'd been there, and while Kim was sure she should be afraid that it might be stalking her, she still hadn't breathed a word of it to anyone and was unafraid of its ever present stare at her window.

Seeing Kim looking generally unresponsive, Jared quickly clarified his choice. "You know, like wolves. All the legends and stuff are about them. Y'know, like the Spirit Warriors and Taha Aki and Utlapa and stuff. How we're supposedly descended from them and all. If you think about it, wolves are pretty kick-ass. They're the protectors of the tribe and everything. Wolves are just awesome."

"You believe all that? All the legends 'n stuff?" Kim asked, cocking her head to the side. He looked away briefly, audibly gulping before he faced her.

"I don't see why not." Jared's voice was tight, like he wanted to say something very badly but couldn't or wouldn't spit it out. "Unless they are just a bunch of bedtime stories thought up by a bunch of lazy old men who want to scare kids into staying in bed and whatnot," he added quickly, as if his first answer was cause for suspicion. Kim wasn't really the prying type, so she let it slide, though her curiosity was p

"So, um, about Sabrina's party…" Kim began, and Jared's eyes grew wide as saucers.

"Oh, no…you didn't want to go, did you? Oh, god, I'm sorry—"

"No! I—I want to,"Kim blushed again while Jared, if possible, grinned even wider. "It's just…is it okay if while we're there…I sort of keep an eye on my sister and my brother? They're bound to get in some kind of trouble, and I really don't like the idea of becoming an aunt or something within the next ten months or anything."

"Oh, it's no problem." Jared paused briefly, considering. "Who're you're siblings, again? Do I know them?"

Kim blinked awkwardly. Truthfully, she was surprised that the topic of her siblings hadn't come up before. "Um…well…Laura Connweller? And my little brother Alex is gonna be there, y'know, Alex Connweller? My other sister…Rory, she's not invited or anything…"

"Wait, Laura Connweller is your sister?" Jared looked surprised, and Kim felt her heart break a little. Was it really so impossible to believe?

"Yeah. She's my older sister." Kim's voice was sharp, and he noticed.

He studied her for a moment, clearly searching her face for any Laura-like features. Well, Kim knew from experience that he wouldn't find anything. "You have the same eyes," Jared whispered truthfully, his eyes holding hers like he was afraid that if he didn't, she'd slip away from him.

Kim blushed, looking at him through fluttering eyelashes and attempting to ignore the tightening of her chest. Oddly enough, it was the best compliment she'd ever received.

"Yours are prettier, though," Jared corrected himself, looking completely sincere. Kim's answering smile was blinding as she sat back and bit her lip, returning to her Physics homework. I take it back, Kim thought, that was the best compliment I've ever gotten.

Jared didn't look at his work for the rest of study hall; choosing instead to study the girl sitting across from him.

"Oh, c'mon, Laura, please!"

"No."

"Just this once?"

"No."

"I bet she'll stop bugging you if you say yes."

"Tempting, but no."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"No! Oh my god, just fuck off, Kim!" Laura rolled up her Seventeen magazine and smacked her younger sister on the arm with it, rolling her eyes and huffing indignantly. Natalie, lounging on Kim's pillow, chortled obnoxiously, earning a stuffed animal to the face and an affronted look from Kim. Natalie returned the glare, using said stuffed giraffe to stem the sudden blood flow from her nose.

"Please, Laura? I've never been invited to a party before, and this is Jared Cameron who asked me! Jared Cameron!" Kim repeated for necessary effect, because so far, her attempts at getting her fashion-savvy older sister to help her pick out an outfit for Sabrina Carlton's party.

"I'm aware, Kim," Laura snapped icily, rolling her eyes again. "You haven't shut up about it for days."

Kim didn't waver her gaze from her elder sister's face, determinedly staring her down. Laura met her gaze in a fierce face-off, neither willing to back down. Laura, however, looked away first, so surprised that usually submissive Kim hadn't immediately yielded to Laura's own semi-dominance.

"Fine," Laura relented, sighing in exasperation and moving to get off the beanbag she'd borrowed from Tyler's house. "But you owe me! Don't you dare tell Mom that I'm not coming home on Saturday, got it?" Laura added when Kim looked too excited, looking sternly at Kim. Kim found that she was more than a little disconcerted at how much Laura resembled Liana with the uncharacteristic sternness to her usual laid-back and nonchalant face. It made Kim think of what her mother might have been like eighteen years ago, when the world knelt at the feet of Liana Callaway.

"Alright, alright! I got it, I owe you and no telling Mom! Just please, for the love of God, help me pick out an outfit! I have no idea what to wear! Either I look like a nerd, or a prude, or a slut or a Sunday school teacher or—"

"Okay, we know, you've got no fashion sense! I've known this for years, loser," Laura snapped, rolling her eyes and moving towards the tiny closet. She rummaged around, looking through her closet, because it was Laura's closet. Kim's clothes were stored in her dresser and always had been, since Laura's clothes had always taken preference over Kim's, just like Laura had always gotten preference over Kim. So, naturally, Laura had the closet to herself.

Natalie, surprisingly, was silent, content to examine Laura's abandoned Seventeen magazine. She was obviously bored, though. She had never had that much of an interest in clothes as long as she looked good. Things like designers and labels and cut jeans were alien to her; she had grown up the youngest and only girl in a family with four older brothers.

Laura stepped back, looking critically to examine Kim. "Hm…well, you're a couple sizes fatter than I am, what are you? A seven?"

"A five," Kim snapped angrily.

"Well, either way, you sure as hell aren't fitting into any of my clothes! I'm a zero." Laura made a face and sighed. "A double zero, but I'm working on it!" The way she said 'double zero' was the way someone might say "I have fungus on my feet and warts on my back".

Kim met Natalie's gaze and they both covered up sniggers and eye rolls at Laura's 'shame' of her body. It was ridiculous; both of them would have killed to be double zeros, even if it meant having Laura's could-be-better chest (she made up for it in having nice legs). "Thanks, Laura," Kim muttered sarcastically. It's always a blow to the ego to have a girl with a 'hot' body and a beautiful face to criticize her facial features and body in front of a girl with inferior visage. This was something Laura did often, and if Laura thought she was ugly (it was just the opposite in fact) then there was no question at all in Kim's mind that she was too, except even more so.

"Well, you'll have to borrow my shoes; I'm a seven and you're an eight, but you can squeeze." A black boot hit Kim in the face, with its match smacking Natalie in the face (effectively setting off her delicate nose).

"Um…okay," Kim eyed the knee-high pointed-toe leather boots warily as if they were a snake she was being asked to allow into her bed.

"And you can wear this pencil skirt." Laura hurled a black stretchy skirt at the desk chair, successfully making it catch on the edge. "And this top," a white silky top followed the skirt. "And this jacket!" Laura produced a leather jacket, clearly from when she was in middle school and leather jackets were on sale following the end of the grungy fashion of the 90s.

Laura, clearly, was having more fun with this then she'd originally anticipated. "And we should go subtle smoky eye makeup, maybe in earth tones…oh, it'd totally bring out your eyes!"

Natalie had put her fist into her mouth to try and stop herself from laughing at Laura's crazed fashion-centered enthusiasm. Kim rolled her eyes at her friend and pulled on the tight black skirt—it fit to Kim's mid-thigh, a little too short for her liking but Laura insisted that Jared would like it, since it gave him "easy access", something that made Natalie start rolling around in silent laughter— and the silky white shirt, which turned out to be floaty and soft in contrast to the tight skirt. The boots were killing Kim's feet, what with the pinch in the pointed toe and the high heel that Kim found nearly impossible to walk in.

Throwing the leather jacket on, Kim was shoved into the chair in front of the desk, looking on at Laura's impressive collection of makeup. Dutifully not moving as Laura bathed her eyelids in eyeshadow, painted her eyelashes black, and lined her lips with color. Powder foundation was dusted across her face, covering up and 'splotches' that Laura claimed had been there.

"There," Laura stepped back to admire her work with a pleased smile. "It'll have to do. It's almost eight."

"Jeez, Kim, you look like a million bucks," Natalie whistled in appreciation. "Where've you been hiding those boobs?" Kim blushed and crossed her arms, glaring at Natalie.

"So weird, right, Nosebleed? Kimmy Connweller's got a body!" Laura shrieked, slapping Kim on the arm.

Kim walked towards the mirror, glaring at her reflection critically. "You think he'll like it?"

"He'd be an idiot not to!" Natalie assured her. "You look hot!"

"Really?" Kim smiled slightly, toying with the hem of her shirt nervously. Laura rolled her eyes, nodding her agreement and throwing a few chains of fake gold necklaces around Kim's neck.

"Okay, newbie, here's the drift of Sabrina's parties," Laura began like she was a schoolteacher explaining fractions to her students. "Beware the punch. It's always spiked. Do not drink more than a few shots and try and avoid getting into pictures. Stick with your date if you can, and try and avoid going anywhere alone. Beware all drinks that you don't prepare yourself. Respect Sabrina's house or she'll go apeshit. Humor Irina if she starts talking to you. 'kay?" Laura waltzed back over to the closet, pulling out a slinky black dress and a pair of red heels.

"Oh, and Kim?" Laura added as Kim began to leave the room.

"Yeah?" Kim asked, knowing that 'oh, and Kim?' was never a good opener to conversation when it came to the older women in this family.

"We don't know each other. We've never even spoken. Get the picture?" Kim blinked at Laura's sudden change in attitude. Not that it surprised her, really. Laura was too cool to be friends—or even on speaking terms with Kim, Natalie, or Rory.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay." Kim grumbled.

"Make sure you come home tonight!" Natalie called. "I want all the juicy deets!"

Kim turned out the door, walking downstairs. Alex was lounging on the couch, draping his limbs across the worn sofa cushions and glaring at the Sonics game (they were losing; big surprise there). His dog Flower was lying on his lap, absently licking his hand.

He sat up when she came down, dislodging Flower, who shook out his fur and barked in distaste. Alex regarded her for a moment before shaking his head and chuckling softly. "Whoa, man…if Mom saw you…damn, you'd be dead. You're so lucky Rory had some quiz bowl thing in Seattle, man. 'else Mom'd be flippin' her shit, and you'd be deader than that guy in Alien." Alex told Kim confidently. "I mean, maybe me and Laura could get away with this shit, but Mom'd be all over your ass! Aren't you going with that Jared Cameron? He's in a cult or something, isn't he? That's what Vera said. You know, she has a snaggletooth. It's some creepy shit, man. I can't believe I actually thought she was hot! Besides, Serena Carlton's much hotter and she invited me and Seth to the party tonight and all. Seth said that Leah said that all of Sam Uley's gang-cult-thing are asses. And Leah's usually right about stuff like that. Of course, Lee might be a bit biased against Sam 'n all, but that's not the point! She's gonna be there tonight, you know. Think I'd have a chance with her? Of course I would! She likes me! Maybe if she had a few drinks or something, maybe… But that'd be some weird shit, dating Seth's sister. But man, she's hot, y'know? Serena's real hot 'n all, but whoa, man, Leah's a real woman. Can't believe Sam let her go. She was pretty torn up about it, y'know. Real torn up. I bet Jared's the same way, you know? Seems like a real chill guy, and then he just up and cold-cocks you outta the blue and stuff, and then you've got a Grade A tearjerker going on. Then I'd hafta beat him up n' all, but whoa, man. I doubt that'd go well. It's like, whoa, man, have you seen him? Him and Sam and Paul? It's gotta be steroids, it's gotta be! I mean, don't they know what steroids do to a guy? I mean, really. If they're trying to get girls, steroids are not the way to go, if you know what I mean." Alex paused in his monologue briefly to consider Kim. "You'll have to ask him what he sees in you. Serena's been wondering, and if I could tell her, then she'd totally have to go out with me and stuff! I bet I could get to second with her! She's got a nice rack, man."

Alex was prone to incessant talking like this. One-sided conversations in which every thought that crossed Alex's mind was broadcasted for the world to hear. That's part of the reason Seth and Alex got on so well; Seth was a good listener and Alex was a good talker. Rory was a good talker, too, and consequently, she and her twin butted heads over who got to monologue.

Kim wondered briefly why everyone she spent time with never shut up. Liana, Natalie, Alex, Rory, Laura.

"You think Serena likes dogs? I bet she does! Flower and I could totally impress her, couldn't we, boy?" Flower barked happily. "Yeah. We could. Couldn't we? Nah, I bet Serena's more impressed with soccer than with dogs. She seems like that kinda girl." Alex turned to Kim, seeming to remember what he had originally been talking about. "But if Mom finds out you've been hanging out with Jared, she'll flip her shit like a burger. Or a pancake. Which one do you think is easier to flip? I've never thought about it before. You flip all our burgers and pancakes, what do you think? Maybe I could as Liz, she wouldn't mind. I mean, she's your boss 'n all, but she's chill. Brady's okay, and everything. He's technically Seth's cousin. His first cousin, but you knew that already. He's a chill kid, but, whoa, man, being related to someone does not mean that we're all chill to hang out. That'd be like me and Rory hanging out. Now that's a twisted chick. Hey, I heard that Lucy Maxwell's gonna be at the Carlton's tonight. She's real pretty. She's hot, too, but she's real pretty. Her cousin's a bitch, though. God, I hate Anna Surrey. She's a good at arguing, though. She's a real bitch, you know, just awful. Maybe I should make a move on Lucy at the party? But Serena invited me…and Leah'll be there. That's it! I'll hit on Serena, and if Leah's interested, I'll hit on her, and if Anna's not there and Serena's not interested I'll go after Lucy. And if I'm really unlucky, I'll go after what's-her-face. Snaggletooth…Vera, that's it!" He made a face. "But only as a last resort."

Kim's eyes hurt a bit from being rolled so much. If there was anything Kim knew about Alex, it was that her little brother's inner monologue was offensive, brash, cocky, rude, tactless, and brazen; it was also strangely entertaining.

The doorbell rang, and Kim's heart bungee-jumped around in her chest. Seriously, what the hell was wrong with it? Had her heart suddenly decided to take up the art of flying trapeze or something?

"You. Stay there." Kim glared at Alex, who was moving to go answer the door. He shrugged, muttering something about 'women these days' to Flower, who yipped in answer and raced to the door, dutifully bouncing against the doorknob like a guard dog and barking loudly.

Kim ran her hand through her regretfully wispy hair and shoved Flower out of the way. She wrenched open the door before she could chicken out of it and sprint upstairs.

Jared stood there, in all his muscular, towering glory. He was shifting from foot to foot; was he nervous?

Kim grinned at him, feeling herself heat up when his eyes trailed slowly and appreciatively up her body. He himself looked very fine, indeed, dressed in a white T-shirt that delectably clung to his musculature and a pair of low-slung dark wash jeans.

Hot…Hot…HOT!

"You look…" Jared trailed off, his eyes glued to her body. Kim's traitorous mind filled in the blank, her insecurities very nearly surfacing.

Ugly, fat, stupid, overdressed, plain, cheap, slutty, prudish, trashy…

"Beautiful," Jared finished simply, his eyes meeting hers. Kim blinked, a blush creeping up her neck despite her surprise at his compliment.

She'd never been called beautiful before.

"Somebody kill me now," Alex mimed shoving a finger down his throat and retching, holding Flower by his collar to keep the dog from jumping on Jared.

"Bye, tiger, see you later." Kim called Alex his childish nickname, rolling her eyes. She grabbed Jared's arm, ignoring the shock it sent through her body and marched deliberately away from her stupid brother.

"Hey, I'm going to this party! Natalie's the loser that's staying home with Flower!"

"Hey, I heard that, Alex Connweller! Watch yourself!" Natalie's voice carried down the stairs.

"Sorry, boy," Alex whispered to his dog. "It's every man for himself."

Flower just whined and wagged his tail.

"Quick, let's go," Kim said, nearly sprinting to Jared's battered gray pickup truck, dragging her date behind her. Jared gentlemanly opened her door for her before getting into the driver's side of the car.

"Sorry my family's so weird. I had to listen to Alex go on and on about five different girls who may or may not be at the party," Kim rolled her eyes, and Jared laughed, driving down one of La Push's four roads to the Carlton place.

"Yeah, littlae brothers are wack," Jared agreed. "I've got two, both in middle school," I know, Kim thought, because I ktnow way too much about you. "Ethan and Jason, and they never shut up about anything. They're pretty nonstop all the time, and ever since Mom died, Dad's had me be their babysitter." There wasn't a trace of bitterness or grief in his tone, but his hands were the telltale to his carefully hidden sadness as they gripped the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white. His hands were quivering slightly, like he had a twitch.

He blinked, turning towards her and said, in an obvious attempt to dislodge the sudden tension, "So, what music do you listen to?"

Grateful for the change in subject, Kim quickly told him her passion for the Ramones, the Beatles (and their respective solo careers), Blondie, and Nirvana. Jared seemed impressed, and told her so; he'd expected her to be into pop music, but, as Kim explained, that was Natalie and Laura. She tolerated it, but in no way was it her music of choice.

Kim's mind danced around the fact that this was like a dream come true; having Jared ask her to a party. And here she was, overheating in his pickup truck (from Jared's excessive, fever-like body temperature, the close proximity, or just the fact that the more he 'accidentally' touched her, the more it felt like her insides were melting), laughing with Jared over stupid things like the time Jared changed all the contact names in Paul's phone and how pissed Paul was when he kept getting texts from Lord Voldemort and Arnold Swartzenegger, Natalie's insane fear of squirrels, when Ethan and Jason had tried to cook a mudpie in the oven and nearly burned down the house, Grandmama's fear of earthquakes, when Jared and Paul had been dared to sneak into the projection room in the Port Angeles theatre and had accidentally knocked down the projector to a movie that was playing, and what had been going through Alex's mind the day he named Flower.

If Kim hadn't been in love with him before, she sure as hell was now.

The key was to not stare at him too long, not laugh too hard at his jokes, not touch him too much, not glance at him too much, not blush too much, not smile too much, not talk too much, and not laugh too much.

Too bad she was too busy being in love with him to notice.

He didn't notice, however, because he was too busy not staring at her too much, not laughing too hard, not touching her too much, not glancing at her too much, not blushing too much, not smiling too much, and not laughing too much.

Too bad he didn't know it was a lost cause, 'cause he was failing miserably.

A/N: I had WAY too much fun writing Alex's monologue. He just kind of...well, if he's got no filter from his brain to his mouth. He's based on my little sister.

Review, and next chapter's Sabrina Carlton's part-ayy!