Sorry it took so long guys, Kaitlyn didn't feel like typing and Kerri didn't feel like writing so...anyways. This is what you get after so long. Kerri's actually been writing other things that...probably won't make it on. So...enjoy this piece of shit that we have compiled of our hilarious adventures. We love you, and whatnot.

Chapter 5: It's All Under The Table

"We have chakra?" I asked again, making sure I had heard it right.

Kaitlyn looked down at her hand, "Fuck. Yes." Pein looked at Kisame.

"Are you sure, Kisame?"

"Of course, I wouldn't gain anything by lying." Pein gave a head nod. Kaitlyn smiled evilly as she put her palm out and concentrated.

Out of nowhere, a big ball of fire came out of her hand, flew upwards and burned a hole in the ceiling. "Aw, shit!"

I looked at the hole. Then, a bunch of lady's underwear falls out of it onto Kisame. He stuck his head out from the giant pile. "...and now I have a boner." and with that, re-submerged into the seemingly unused underpants and bras.

"Who the hell's is this?" Kakuzu yelled, picking up a random thong. He glanced at the price tag, "Thirty bucks for a thong? That is way too much money!"

Pein made shifty eyes and slowly started backing towards the door. "That's-um-uh-Konan's!" he said nervously. Everyone looked at him, and then he crumped out of the room.

An awkward moment of silence followed.

I broke it, "So uh, we'll start training next week?" I asked the room.

Itachi nodded. "You'll be starting with taijutsu."I smiled and thought about it. "But wait...I can't do flips or even do a high kick." I held my hand out, palm facing downward. I tried to do it, and for some reason, it was easy.

"Ooooo! Now try a back bend!"Zetsu said somewhat enthusiastically with lots of eyebrow wiggling. I puts my hands up and leaned back until I did one.

"How the fuck...?" Kaitlyn said.

"I don't know! But now I'm stuck!" I said, starting to panic.

"Why can't my dick be stuck in your ass?" Hidan said, bored.

"Shut up, Hidan. No one cares what you think." Kaitlyn said, swiftly punching him in his cocksucking face. He fell over and muddered some random made up curse words as he rubbed his cheek.

"Put your weight into your hands and you'll flip back, un." Deidara told me. I nodded, and did as he said. Unfortunately, I pushed too hard and fell backwards into his lap. I fucking swear he planned it.

"Your ass is hot! Is your dad a baker?" I facepalmed while Hidan snickered from the floor.

"One; that is the gayest pick up line ever, and two; you didn't even say it right!"

"Dammit, Hidan! You told me that was how you said it!" Hidan laughed and fell over, even though he was already on the floor.

"Ahahahaha! You sounded so fucking stupid!" everyone soon was laughing at Deidara.

"Hahaha! Oh God, you did!" I laughed.

"Only true morons mess up something as simple as a pick up line!" Kaitlyn said between fits of laughter.

"Well, then how is it that you say it?" Pein asked. Wait...when the fuck did he come back?

"I believe it's 'Your dad must be a baker, because your buns are hot.'" Sasori said all monotone.

"Annnnnnnnnnd cue Kerri squealing like a fangirl." Kaitlyn said. I took in a huge breath and...

"!" I squealed at the top of my lungs. All of the Akatsuki jumped at my sudden squeal. I jumped into Sasori's lap (everyone is still at the table, with the exception of Kisame and Hidan. Kaitlyn was sitting between them. Kerri sat in between Deidara and Itachi.) He almost immediately pushed me off, though, and I fell anime schoolgirl style and all its fanservice-y glory.

"I SAW THAT!" Hidan yelled from under the table...which he was there for some reason...

I got up and dusted myself off, muddering "Bitch-faced whore." and went back to my chair.

"I can't believe I got shopping, un." Deidara said, whining to make everyone return to what little resemblance this story has to a plot. "I hate it!"

"I fucking hate chores!" Kaitlyn yelled.

"I hate cooking!" I followed.

"I. Hate. Laundry." Itachi said.

"I just love gardening!" Pein smiled as he smiled excitedly. Everyone at the table slowly turned their head and looked at him as if he had grown a second head. He blinked awkwardly, looking for a subject change. His eyes rested on me and he smirked. "By the way, love the heart panties."

"Fuck all of you!" I said as I flipped them off.

"Is that an offer?" Hidan asked, grinning evilly from between my legs under the table.

"GET THE FUCK OUT FROM UNDER THERE!" I kicked him in the face.

"Owwwww! Fucking abuse, man!" He rubbed his face wound. Again.

"Ugh, you know what?" I pulled my panties off from underneath my skirt. I tried to throw them at Pein, but they kinda missed and hit Itachi instead. Right in his weasel face.

He peeled them off with a disgusted look. "Ew." He flicked them at Deidara. Who picked them off, smiled evilly, then tossed them right onto...Sasori's head.

He hadn't been paying attention. Deidara snickered when they landed. "Yeah, real mature, you brat." he tossed them back to me. I dropped them to the floor, where Hidan promptly snatched them up.

"The hell's he doing under there, anyways?" Kaitlyn asked, looking under the table as Hidan took a big inhale of panty aroma. "...I didn't see that..."

"So um...any questions, anyone?" Pein asked the room.

"The fuck was their names, again?" Hidan finally crawled out from underneath the table.

Kaitlyn smirked, "And what was yours? Derp, or Herp Derp?"

"Naw, I think it was Hurrrdurrrrn." we high-fived.

He flipped us a double bird. "It's fucking Hidan." he growled.

"Whatever you say, Hurrrdurrrn." Kaitlyn laughed.

"Ah hem!" Pein interrupted. "Just re-announce them."

"Kaitlyn. Kerri." I replied, pointing to my sister, then myself.

"Now, anything else?"

Deidara's blondeness was showing. "So does your shirt come with your panties, hmm?"

"Fuck you, that's what." I said simply.

"Oh, you know you want to." he winked. I slammed my head into the table. I heard Kaitlyn make a gagging sound.

"." Pein stretched. "I'm done here."

"I want food." I announced. Everyone started to leave the room, and I slowly walked over to the pile and picked up a thong. "I like this one." I quietly stuffed it into my pocket. I caught up to Itachi. "So, where's the kitchen?"

He said nothing, but instead grabbed my arm and lead me down the hall, and made a left turn. "The door is marked 'Kitchen'" he said, then left.

So when I finally got to the pantry, I opened it AND IT WAS LIKE FUCKING NARNIA OR SOME SHIT!

"What...Why is this even necessary to have this much fruity cereal?" I looked at the cereals, which were each clearly marked with a name of an Akatsuki member. They were...

Honey Nut Cheerios – Pein

Fruit Loops - Kisame

Cheerios – Obi Tobi

Special K – Itachi

Cinnamon Toast Crunch – Deidara

Life - Hidan

Cocoa Puffs – Sasori

Raisin Bran – Kakuzu

…...so after I was done laughing at the hilariousness of this, I was thinking of who's cereal to steal. I could totally steal almost any of these. Except Raisin Bran. Tastes like shit on dry toast.

….Deidara's. Definitely Deidara's. I grabbed the Cinnamon Toast Crunch and decided to eat it now.

"The hell are you doing with the Toast Crunch?" Kaitlyn waltzed in.

"Bored. Eating. Gonna make some crap Asian food soon. Might wanna eat something delicious before I make it." I said with my mouth full of cinnamony goodness.

Kaitlyn looked into Narnia. "Kisame's cereal. Must...have." She jacked the box and poured herself a bowl. "Oh Kisaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!" She yelled into the hall. "I'm eating your Fruuuuuuuit Looooooooops! And there's nothing you can do about it, you little bitch!"

She waited a minute, and there was no response.

"Huh, I wonder where he is that he can't hear me..."

~Meeting Room~

"Kisame, get outta the pile." Pein kicked the stack.

His head poked out. "Awwwwww maaaaan!"

~end

For those of you that enjoy bitching about "Ohhhh! The chapters aren't long enough! I can't orgasm!". First of all, this is a fanfiction. Not sex. And congraduthefrickalations. You got it, bitches.

See you next time.

Also, Kaitlyn enjoys pasta. Send her some. Her address is 1800 Getafuckinglife Lane.