Sanji hovers thoughtfully in Zoro's shitty apartment thinking and smoking. He feels like he needs to do something but he has no idea what he is supposed to do. Goddamnit, if only he'd listened to Zeff he would still be alive and he could be Zoro's friend. He could be hanging out at Zoro's place alive and keeping Zoro sane, he'd be teasing Zoro and probably cooking for him, goodness knows that all the man had in his cupboards was cheap dried noodles and shitty takeaway.
A bright idea hits him then, he might not be able to cook for Zoro but he can certainly TEACH the seaweed brain how to cook! It wasn't as good as being alive for Zoro but this was the best that he could do with what he had.
Yeah, he could teach Zoro to cook, maybe teach him enough to get him a job at the Baratie with people who weren't assholes. Well, with Patty and Carne and people who weren't assholes. Zeff clearly liked Zoro enough to say yes if Zoro could pull his weight, Zeff had a bit of a soft spot for hopeless causes and strays. Zoro would be fine there, then they could go back to finding out who had murdered him. He didn't like the idea of finding out who had killed him now, if he 'went into the light' or whatever now he wasn't convinced that Zoro wouldn't be back up at that window again before too long and Sanji wouldn't allow that.
Sanji hears the sound of Zoro's key in the lock and stands up. He couldn't bear to wait out the rest of Zoro's shift, not when he was sitting there looking miserable like that and not after what Robin had said to him when she pointed the finger of blame squarely at him.
"God! Sanji! Have you been smoking in here?" Zoro yells from the door and coughs loudly as he makes his way into the room. Guiltily Sanji flicks his cigarette into the air where it dematerialises, he grins innocently at Zoro.
"I never should have told you that you could do that." Zoro grumbles unhappily fanning the air.
"What is that anyway? It doesn't smell like normal cigarette smoke." Zoro frowns sniffing the air curiously.
"Ah, that carried over too did it? It's kinda stupid, I used to make my own tobacco blend, I mixed two store bought ones and added some ground cloves." Sanji answers with a shrug.
"Wait, so it's unique? No one else smokes that? How long have you been smoking that?" Zoro asks suddenly with wide eyes.
"Uh, a few years. And yeah, you can't buy it like that. I just told you that I make it." Sanji frowns not getting what Zoro is all worked up about. Zoro grins from ear to ear and pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials a number.
"What?" Sanji asks with a frown but Zoro waves him away.
"Ah! Smoker, I wanted to- uh... Yes, I know what time it is but I thought that... Sorry." Zoro apologises quickly and Sanji can hear Smoker yelling on the other end of the phone. Sanji isn't surprised that Smoker is yelling, it's quarter to five in the morning. Eventually the yelling dies down and Zoro seems to relax, even from where he is Sanji can tell that's Smoker's sighing and asking Zoro a question.
"Oh, yes. Did you by any chance pull any cigarette ash off of any of the suspects when you arrested them? Sanji's ash would be unique, he made his own, it'll be as good as a fingerprint so you- what? What do you mean you didn't think to?" Zoro stops suddenly, looking surprised. After a second and some tinny talking from Smoker on the other end of the line Zoro's face snarls in anger.
"Well this is probably why you never catch anyone!" Zoro shouts down the line and snaps his phone shut before violently flinging it across the room into the sofa.
Zoro drops to the ground like a sulky child and scrubs his hands through his hair in frustration. Sanji kneels down in front of him but Zoro is too busy glaring at the floor to look at him.
"It was a good idea." Sanji offers weakly.
"If the police weren't so damn incompetent maybe you wouldn't have to be here!" Zoro scowls angrily.
"You don't want me here?" Sanji grins at Zoro, that statement at least gets the man to crack a little bit of a smile.
"What I don't want is you wandering the earth forever when you should be moving on. If I can't do what you want and prove that you were murdered then you're stuck here." Zoro sighs, leaning back against the edge of his sofa.
Sanji smiles gently and stays silent on that point, he can't imagine that staying around with Zoro indefinitely would be too bad. And it would give him more time to help Zoro out and fix his life. And speaking of that idea...
"Hey, come on. You need to go get something to eat." Sanji orders standing up.
"I've got food in the cupboard." Zoro sighs, leaning his head back against the sofa arm.
"I've seen what you've got in your cupboard and that's not cooking, that's rehydrating; and thus not really food. So come on, move your malnourished ass and go get some food." Sanji says disdainfully.
"I'm good, thanks." Zoro shrugs, standing up and turning his back on Sanji. He scowls and scythes a kick through Zoro's back making him shudder and leap away.
"What the hell?" Zoro demands spinning on his heel and glaring accusingly at Sanji.
"I might be intangible but don't think I won't kick your ass all night if you don't go." Sanji threatens flatly. He means it too, he grew up with Patty and Carne - he can be plenty annoying when he wants to be.
He and Zoro stare each other down for a few long moments before Zoro throws his arms up in the air and makes an exasperated noise as he stomps off out of the front door.
"And how do you plan to get anything cooked blondie? You can't cook anymore." Zoro points out in the deserted quiet of the street.
"You'd be surprised what you can teach monkeys to do." Sanji replies smugly.
"Oh you've got a smart mouth cook. Too bad the rest of you is dumb as a rock." Zoro retorts acerbically.
Sanji laughs at that then as the two of them walk along the road in the half light of the morning. Sanji feels real for a moment, he feels alive. He feels like if he reached out to touch Zoro his fingers would just touch the man and not slide icily though. He finds himself overwhelmed with a sense of possibility, he and Zoro don't exactly gel but goddamn if the two of them don't have awesome chemistry; he can throw a barb at the man and he's right there with sarcasm to smack him back with. On top of that Sanji would bet that you couldn't find a more loyal friend anywhere, the guy is already bending over backwards for him. God, with Zoro at his back they could do anything!
The sun suddenly shines over the tip of a building making Zoro squint at the sudden light. Sanji looks down to see the sunbeam shining effortlessly through his translucent form, he turns slightly and sees only Zoro's shadow at his side. He's not real, not really. He should be here for real with Zoro, but he's dead instead.
He feels that annoying melancholy settle onto his shoulders again, it's the same as when he was dead on that ledge. It's a sense of quiet despair and crushing loneliness. He shakes his head to try to dislodge the feeling and dashes after Zoro.
The two of them bicker quietly as they shop, or rather Zoro bickers quietly and Sanji shouts at him, Sanji doesn't have to worry if people think he's weird now, it's a little liberating. He forces Zoro to pick up plenty of good quality meat and vegetables as well as a full stock of herbs and spices. Upon discovering that Zoro doesn't really have any cooking equipment he hassles the man into buying some basic equipment too.
"So," Sanji announces brightly when they get back to Zoro's place laden down with shopping. Well, Zoro is laden down, Sanji can't carry anything so he's fine.
"What do you want to eat?" He asks hopefully.
"I don't know. I don't care." Zoro shrugs apathetically. He's tired and Sanji already knows that he's had a shitty day with the so called "people" that he works with. So he's going to cut Zoro some slack here.
"Come on, we can make loads of things with this. There must be some comfort food that you like but don't know how to make." Sanji persists.
"I can't think of anything." Zoro shrugs looking away. Sanji's eyes narrow, he's not sure that Zoro's telling the truth there, he decides to press a little more.
"There must be something, something you used to eat when you were feeling down or something that reminds you of something nice." He persists.
Zoro shuffles uncomfortably. He's definitely hiding something.
"Robin… When she was alive Robin used to make me omelettes when I was sick. But I don't know how to…" Zoro mumbles awkwardly.
"I can teach you that! They're super easy!" Sanji announces happily. He needs to show Zoro that cooking is something to be enjoyed, and he wants to bring back some happy memories for Zoro. Zoro puts up some protest but Sanji isn't having any of it and hustles the green-haired man into the kitchen and starts listing things that he needs from the bags of shopping that they just bought.
In retrospect Sanji is glad that he got Zoro to buy a lot of eggs, somehow the man has never been taught how to crack an egg so he's already smashed several by accident. Sanji has a lot of patience for someone trying to be good at something so he's encouraging Zoro to keep going. Eventually, after a little concentrated fishing of eggshell shards, Zoro manages to successfully get two perfectly acceptable eggs into a bowl.
"I said whisk them." Sanji repeats with a sigh a little later.
"I am." Zoro responds with a note of uncertainty in his voice. He's got a fork stuck in the bowl with the eggs and is slowly rotating them.
"No, you're stirring them. Whisk them." Sanji adds by way of explanation. Zoro glares at the bowl with a look of concentration and stirs a little faster.
"No, whisk them! With energy! Like this." Sanji sighs and mimes holding a bowl in his arms and whisking energetically so that Zoro gets the point. This teaching thing is hard when he can't show Zoro how to do anything himself.
Zoro holds the bowl in his arms instead of on the counter and suddenly violently flicks the fork about in an imitation of Sanji's movement. Unsurprisingly egg is flung up in the air hitting Zoro in the face and splattering the fridge behind Zoro. Sanji can't help but laugh and though Zoro shoots him a dark look the psychic laughs brightly too. Zoro wipes his face off with a foolish grin and tries to rescue the pristine side of his fridge.
"Well, I feel stupid." Zoro laughs in an embarrassed way.
"Ah, don't be. Every chef ends up with a little egg on their face from time to time." Sanji snickers at his pun, Zoro throws a dishtowel through him in retribution.
"Haha, okay, so right idea but perhaps a little too much enthusiasm." Sanji chuckles as Zoro starts breaking an egg into the bowl again. This time Zoro manages to whisk the eggs passably and without much direction from Sanji he manages to cut up a pepper without cutting himself, the guy is pretty talented with a blade. Sanji can't help but wonder what he could be like with practice, Zeff would be impressed if Zoro took to all knife work like that from a total beginner.
"Now, come on. Get that frying pan, the one with the metal handle, and fry those peppers." Sanji instructs in his best businesslike voice. Zoro, surprisingly, does as he's told. He's clumsy in the kitchen but not unreachable with teaching, his knife skill shows that. Sanji doesn't know if he's counting his chickens by hoping to get Zoro into the Baratie and under Zeff's protective wing but he hopes that Zoro can succeed. Even if Zeff doesn't take him in at least Sanji can teach Zoro a skill that will be good for him. Zoro has every reason to be depressed but his poor diet can't be helping, maybe if Sanji ensures that he eats properly then Zoro won't be so apt to throw himself off of buildings in the future. Sanji would say that he could die happy then but he's a little late for that, rest peacefully perhaps.
"Okay, pour the eggs, carefully." He says slowly, he doesn't want Zoro throwing them over himself again by accident. Gingerly Zoro empties the bowl into the frying pan with the peppers and under Sanji's instruction he pulls the mixture about enough to ensure that there aren't any peppers on the bottom.
"Did Robin make them runny or firmer?" Sanji asks carefully, aware that he may be on thin ice by talking about Robin with Zoro.
"They had lots of cheese on them." Zoro ventures uncertainly. Sanji smiles at that, it sounds like comfort food alright. So, the omelette was probably on the firmer side. In that case then…
"Okay, open the oven and turn the grill on. And grab your cheesegrater." He instructs Zoro. After a little fiddling with the dials Zoro manages to do so and then opens the cupboard at eye level on the wall to retrieve his grater.
Zoro grates a fair amount of cheese onto his still cooking omelette and then bends down to see if the grill has properly turned on. It's electric rather than gas so Zoro has to kneel down awkwardly around the open oven door and carefully put his hand near the grill to feel the heat. He straightens up suddenly and Sanji can see the accident happening before it does. Zoro's had to step to the side to get around the open oven door and he's carelessly left the door open on the wall cabinet, now that he's standing up he's going to manage to smack his head on it and rather painfully too it looks like.
"Look out!" He yelps and out of reflex he slams his hand into the door to close it. Except… except his hand does connect with the cupboard door and shut it with a loud bang just in time for Zoro to stand up right where the door had been.
The two of them stare wide eyed at the shut door and Sanji's hand resting against it.
"You… you're a poltergeist." Zoro breathes shocked.
"A what now?" Sanji asks stunned as he pulls his hand back and stares at it. He can still see through it a little like he can with the rest of him but… but he was solid then, solid enough to move something anyway.
"A poltergeist, a ghost that can move things! They're… really powerful, and really rare." Zoro breathes in amazement.
Experimentally Sanji raises his hand to Zoro's face and runs his fingers along the man's cheekbone and across to the shell of Zoro's ear until he brushes the three gold earrings that hang there. With a delighted laugh he sees that they move at his touch, he's physical again! Or, well sort of. He touches Zoro's neck, he can't quite feel properly, he can vaguely feel Zoro's warmth and just about the topography of his skin but he couldn't tell you if he feels stubble or anything else, it seems pressure and heat are the only things that he can react to. But still, it's a hell of a lot better than nothing!
There's a look on Zoro's face that Sanji can't quite parse and it disappears to be replaced by panic when Zoro realises that he's letting his omelette singe in the pan. Sanji discards the idea but it mentally left with the nagging feeling that he's missing something.
After some more guided instruction the hopeless beginner that is Zoro finishes making his omelette and is happily eating it, Sanji allows himself to feel smug as he sits in front of Zoro on the table.
"See, isn't that better than some dehydrated noodles?" Sanji grins triumphantly.
"Well," Zoro says slowly, "I think all credit should go to the student, the teacher was useless." He grins cheekily.
"You bastard!" Sanji snaps and flings a salt packet from the table at him, he's going to like being able to touch things. Zoro for his part snickers into his omelette and Sanji relaxes, being dead isn't all bad it seems.