Charlie/ Thank you! Yup, I agree that she needs a cuddle!
eld mcm/ Thanks! I love the Garfield reference!
Cocobutterrox/ Thank you! You're always too kind… :)
I'll start… this evening, Etcetera promised herself. This evening, I'll start… Whatever tonight's supper is, I won't even put it anywhere close to my mouth.
"Yes! Fish! They say the supper is fish! My favorite!" Electra exclaimed.
"Mmm. Makes my day," Jemima said, nodding in agreement with her excited friend.
Etcetera sighed. Why, Jenny, why? Why does my favorite food have to be supper the day I'm trying to start…? I'm trying to avoid food here, not be attracted to it! Ugh!
Her stomach groaned and her mouth watered; in only a few seconds, she found herself slowly following her friends to the line for supper, which was already quite lengthy.
No, Etcy, no. Resist the temptation, she told herself within her mind. Her feet, however, did not care enough to listen; they simply carried her body into the line and moved it along with the line's movement. No, Etcy, stop! You promised yourself only a few hours ago! she scolded herself silently.
It was a kind of temptation that she had never experienced before. It was a completely new kind of temptation, a much stronger one than anything that she had gone through before.
She felt a light tap on her shoulder; she turned around and saw that it was Tumblebrutus.
"Come on, Etcetera, the line is moving," he said, trying to sound as patient as he could.
"Oh. Sorry." Etcetera moved up the gap that she had created in the line. Now, she was only a few feet away from Jennyanydots and Jellylorum, who were busily handing out a half of a fish – not very big, but still of a decent size – to each cat.
Etcetera was about to drag herself out of the line when a certain thought came up in her mind: Wait. If I step out and not have supper, everyone will notice that something's unusual… So… perhaps, if I could get the fish but then give it to someone… Hmm…
She got the fish from Jennyanydots, to whom she said a small, formal "Thank you." The old cat smiled back.
Etcetera looked down at the piece of fish. She never looked at food this way before; right now, it was something that could, more or less, take control of a cat in an instant. It was what made the stomach groan, the mouth water, and the cat himself feel desperate for. What seemed like a usual, harmless part of everyday life before now seemed like an irresistible, malicious temptation that intended to break down her decision, the promise that she had made with herself. She started into the eye of the fish; it seemed to stare back at her.
She could see that her friends had already created a circle by the tire. Four or so cats, chattering and biting into their daily bread, or rather, weekly fish. She walked over and sat down, trying to fit comfortably between Electra and Jemima.
"Hey, uh, 'Lect, do you… uh… want to have my fish…?" she asked, hoping to look as casual and normal as possible.
Electra's eyes widened. "Etcy, but that's your supper. Aren't you hungry?"
Etcetera shook her head. "No… I'm… I just have a… uh… stomachache or something…" It's only a white lie… she told herself. Nothing to feel too guilty about…
"Oh. Uh, well, I hope you feel better soon. And… I don't want to be rude, but in that case, do you mind if I have your…" Electra said, intentionally not finishing her sentence and instead carefully pointing at her friend's piece of fish.
Etcetera nodded and gave it over, causing a gigantic smile to spread upon her friend's face. Indeed, food could easily control a cat.
"Thanks so much!" Electra grinned.
"Hey, 'Lectra! Come on! Who says you get it all?" complained Exotica.
"Seriously, Exotica? Fighting over food…?" Electra said, shaking her head. She held onto her new piece of fish as if it was some kind of a precious stone.
"No, we're not fighting. We're just making sure that everything is done in a fair manner between friends," Jemima answered. She looked somewhat apologetically at Etcetera, however, as if feeling guilty about arguing, really, in front of her face about the food that she had given to them.
"Alright, alright. I'll cut it up into equal pieces," Electra surrendered. "I'm sure we look like total idiots when we argue over something to eat." With her claws, she cut up the piece of fish into four pieces and gave one to Jemima ("Satisfied?" she asked her as she gave the piece to her. Jemima only shrugged, although with a considerable amount of embarrassment.), then one to Victoria, and then one for Exotica. She then kept one piece for herself. Divided up, the even smaller pieces of the fish looked nothing more than insignificant.
Maybe that might be okay to eat… No! What are you thinking? Resist the temptation, I say! Resist! Etcetera groaned, swamped by her own thoughts. Resist the temptation! You'll regret if you don't!
"Gosh, your stomachache must be awful, Etcy. I can hear it groaning from over here. I think Jenny keeps some herbs for that in her den. Etcy, do you want to go to her…?" Electra asked.
"No… I'm fine…" Etcetera replied. She knew that taking medicine when there was nothing wrong with one's body could bring forth unintended and undesirable side effects. She shuddered at the thought.
"Are you sure…?" Victoria asked.
Etcetera nodded politely, trying to give a smile in order to assure them.
As soon as she entered her den, Etcetera let her body collapse.
Is it this difficult to skip just one supper? she asked herself. Indeed, it was hours ago when she had eaten lunch, and her stomach seemed as if it was cringing at its emptiness.
Oh… she groaned. How can this be? It's just one meal I didn't eat… And it's my first day!
Or maybe, it's just my mind that's making up the hunger. Perhaps… the idea of not eating just makes me hungrier than what I actually am… Either way, I'm not having a good time here!
Suddenly, a small box near her caught her attention; it was something that she had recently found in the open dirt fields and had hid deep within her den for later use. She had already opened it before and thus knew that it wasn't an ordinary box; it was a box of crackers.
Oh… no… Why didn't I shove it in deeper…?
Slowly, she was pulled over by what she thought as an invisible force coming from the box and was forced to look at it from an even closer distance.
It was a small red box, although now rather brown from the dirt; it was made of steel and had a lid with the picture of a glaring sun. Most importantly, there was food inside. Human food, but still food.
Her mouth started to water again. Maybe… maybe… just tonight… only tonight… No! What are you thinking? Etcy! You're just being tempted! Tempted by that damned little box!
She moaned. No… maybe just one piece…? Or two…? I'm sure that wouldn't hurt so much…
What am I thinking…?
No… Just tonight… A piece or two won't make any difference…
Nonsense! Of course it will make a huge difference! And after all, Jelly told me before that human food is bad for cats! Come on, Etcy! This is only the first day and you're already about to fail! Remember what you saw in the mirror! Do you want to be even fatter? Come on, stay strong! Just shove the box away!
Oh, what the heck. Dismissing all thoughts, she opened the lid and placed it by the side of the box. There were about ten or so pieces of round crackers in the box, all neatly lined up together like a stack of cards and protected by a plastic wrapping; unlike the dirty outside of the box, the plastic wrapping still seemed to be in acceptable conditions. Perhaps the wrapping was the answer to why the crackers still seemed edible even though the box that they were in had been in the junkyard for a long period of time. (Anyway, why would this end up in the junkyard? she wondered. Looks perfectly edible to me.)
And perhaps, the wrapping was also a last warning before going on to make the decision to eat…
Just one or two, just tonight… I'll really start the whole thing tomorrow… Oh… I'm such an idiot…
She tore apart the wrapping with her teeth (which made a few crackers inside break) and then spit out the small pieces of the wrapping that ended up in her mouth. She immediately grabbed a piece of cracker and bit into it. It was quite dry and very salty, and all of the saliva in her mouth seemed to be drying up. She barely managed to chew on it and swallow it, but any form of food passing through her esophagus felt amazingly good.
She grabbed the second piece right away and bit into it. She now became used to its dryness and saltiness; she coughed a few times, but after all, they were nothing compared to the feeling of being hungry.
She then grabbed the third piece, and then the fourth… And in a matter of only a few minutes, there were no more.
Just an empty, ripped-open plastic wrapping lying sadly next to the open box.
Despite the satisfaction of her stomach, she felt like she had been hit with a stone. Now that it was too late, now that she had done it, now that there was no way of turning back…
She wiped of the crumbs by her mouth with her paws and let a few drops of tears trickle down her cheek.
What… did I just… do…? What… just happened…? The empty plastic wrapping gave her the answer. So did her full stomach.
Did I seriously empty that box of crackers…? All of it…? Oh, no, tell me it's just my mind's wild imagination! Come on! It possibly couldn't have happened! Right? Right? I was doing so well so far and this couldn't have suddenly happened! Right…?
The empty plastic wrapping repeated its answer. Etcetera closed her eye tightly.
Oh, why am I such an idiot? Why did I let myself…?
No, no… I'm sure it didn't happen. I'm sure none of this actually happened…
She opened her eyes. The empty plastic wrapping repeated its answer again. And now, what could she do? Letting out tears wasn't going to change what happened. Was there anything that she could do at this point? She had to admit that the answer was only a solid "no."
Maybe… if I can make myself throw up all the food I just ate… No, that's too dangerous. And I've never done it before; but I know it must be painful…
She sniffed a few times to stop her tears. Sighing, she put the plastic wrapping into the box and closed it.
Tomorrow, I'll really start… Tomorrow, I won't let this happen. Ever.
But she still couldn't deny how wonderful the feeling of a full stomach felt.