Dear Bethany,
I know it isn't time for another letter yet, but I might be away a while and didn't want you to think I'd forgotten about you. It seems some of your fellow Wardens have disappeared, and the sister of one of them – a Howe, if you can believe it – tracked him here. I could have turned her down, but it hit a bit close to home.
Varric, bless his beardless chin, volunteered to come along, and I've managed to coax Anders away from the city for a bit too. I can't believe I think some time in the Deep Roads might be good for him, but these have been a strange few years. I should really take at least one more person, but I'm terrified of losing someone else to the taint. Anders is safe, and Varric and I got through it once before. It doesn't work that way, I know, but -
Never mind. I'm rambling and I'm sure this isn't your favorite topic. I'll write when we get back.
With love,
Marian
The arrival of Nathaniel Howe at Ansburg created something of a sensation. A very localized sensation. Most of the Wardens hadn't given the man a second glance, but there was definitely a great deal of sensation happening right here, in Alistair's office. Bethany was glad she had shut the door before announcing exactly who was leading the delegation from Vigil's Keep. Alistair could be very loud.
She folded her arms and let her gaze rest on the desk as he ranted. It wasn't that she didn't understand why he was upset, but she couldn't muster the energy to care herself.
"So see what he wants and send him on his way," Bethany said, when Alistair finally paused to breathe.
He sat down heavily. "I know why he's here. I just didn't know it was going to be him who was coming."
Bethany waited, but he didn't seem inclined to elaborate. "Can I send him up then?" she asked.
"Yes," Alistair said. "Sorry about," he waved his hand to indicate his earlier pacing.
Bethany shrugged. It hadn't bothered her. She went to tell Nathaniel that Alistair was ready to see him, then returned to her room and put the whole thing out of her mind. Her afternoon was free, and she wanted to work on augmenting her fire magic. She'd bought a plain sliver ring a week earlier from one of the traveling merchants and the evenings since had been spent preparing the runes for the enchantment. The work required immense concentration and was incredibly tedious. No wonder mages usually left enchanting to the Tranquil.
She could have just bought an enchanted ring. She spent very little of her stipend and had the coin. In fact – Bethany pulled open the drawer on the small worktable to look at her modest stash – she had enough coin several times over. But she'd been feeling . . . restless. Since Marian's last letter, if she was honest with herself. Her eyes flickered to where it sat folded loosely on her bed. Enchanting was a good distraction. She literally couldn't think of anything else during the process.
Bethany lit the lamp on the table in case the sun set before she finished, and began. She quickly lost herself in the careful application of lyrium to the ring and the hours slipped by unnoticed. The oil in the lamp was low when she straightened again with a sigh. She turned the ring in her fingers, checking that the runes had taken properly. The lyrium would have to set overnight before she could test it to be sure, but it looked right. She allowed herself a smile of satisfaction and stood and stretched.
Marian's letter caught her eye, and all her restlessness came back. She unfolded it and smoothed it against the blankets, eyes picking up the odd phrase, but not really reading it. It wasn't all that different from any of the other letters, but Bethany suddenly missed her sister. She wanted to be sitting next to her on the steps to Hightown at dusk, watching the merchants pack up for the day and talking about whatever came into their heads. Or be freshly bathed in front of the fire, letting Marian tie her hair up in bits of rags to make it curl. She wanted to be able to roll over in the middle of night when she woke from a bad dream and find her sister in arm's reach.
There was leftover parchment on the table. She could, maybe she could -
Bethany had just taken a step back towards the table when there was a sharp knock on the door. She opened it to find Alistair looking surprised.
"You were in here," he said. "I knew Howe went to the wrong door. Come on, then."
"I might not have heard him," Bethany said as she followed him along the hallway, curious. "I was working on something." Almost two somethings, and she wasn't sure if she was relieved or upset that Alistair had interrupted.
"I hope you finished it," Alistair said. They reached his office, and he opened the door for her to enter first. Bethany felt a flash of amusement. Marian always said you could always tell a Chantry boy by the way he remembered his manners when he forgot to think. "You're about to leave for the Deep Roads. Howe will give you the details." Nathaniel turned as Bethany entered. "And don't touch anything," Alistair said to him. "I have a system."
Nathaniel looked at the papers scattered haphazardly across the desk. "So I see," he said. Alistair huffed and left. Bethany was left standing awkwardly by the door.
"The Deep Roads?" she asked.
Nathaniel motioned for her to sit. "We're retracing the expedition you were a part of before joining the Wardens. According to our source, the thaig you found is deeper than anything in our records. The First Warden himself ordered an investigation."
"Your source?"
"A dwarf. What was his name?"
"Varric?"
"No, Bar-something."
Bethany's breath caught. "Bartrand?"
"You remember him?"
"He trapped us there."
"Ah," Nathaniel sat back. "Well, if it's any consolation, he was well on his way to being lyrium-mad when I saw him."
It wasn't, actually. Even when it happened, she'd been terrified, not angry. Varric had been furious. Marian was the one who had stayed focused and got them moving again. Even now, seven years on, she could still feel the panic when she'd realized they were trapped under miles of rock, far from the sun and grass and clean air.
Wait. "You want me to come with you?"
"We have maps of the area, it's true, but your firsthand experience of the tunnels is invaluable." Nathaniel watched her closely.
"Yes, but -" Her voice was pitched much higher than usual, and she took several quick breaths in an attempt to calm herself. "I don't remember much. After I caught the taint it all runs together."
"Your presence will still be helpful." Nathaniel frowned, "You have been back to the Deep Roads since?" She nodded. Each time had been awful, but the anticipation of those trips was nothing like the dread that had settled in her stomach now. Bethany looked at her fingers, twisted in her lap, and desperately tried to think of an excuse not to go. But every reason sounded transparent, even in her own head.
"Good," Nathaniel was saying. "You know how to pack, then. We're reprovisioning today and tomorrow, and we'll leave the day after that." Feeling trapped, Bethany just nodded again. She refused his offer to introduce her to the rest of the expedition that night, and left as soon as he gave her an opening.
Her room held no comfort. While it had never felt like home, the easy familiarity of years had its own solace that she had come to rely on. Tonight the bare walls and simple furnishings only served to remind her of how little an imprint she'd allowed herself to make in this place. The ring she'd been so proud of just an hour earlier was meaningless, and the still blank sheets of paper mocked her. What would she write anyway? Dear Sister, I wish you were here, solving all my problems by banging heads together.
Bethany gave a soft snort of amusement that only just stopped short of turning into a sob. Marian would, too. She rubbed a hand over her eyes, tired and sick of everything. Her thoughts skittered around the knowledge that she would soon be re-entering the Deep Roads as she undressed and crawled into bed. Her empty stomach protested, but the thought of braving the mess hall made her feel even more exhausted. She unfolded Marian's letter again and read and re-read it until she drifted to sleep.
The first few days in the Deep Roads were not as bad as Bethany feared. Yes, there was the occasional party of darkspawn, but Nathaniel was a good leader, much better than Bartrand, and the lack of shouting over every perceived failing alone was enough to make the trip more bearable. To her surprise, the dwarfs that accompanied the party were not Wardens, but explosive experts from Amaranthine. When their head, Temmerin, found out she'd been in Kirkwall the same time as the Qunari and had dealings with them, she found herself peppered with questions about gatlock. The fact that she'd never actually seen any made little difference.
So she was less irked than she otherwise might have been when she proved Nathaniel right a week after they entered the Deep Roads. He'd gone scouting and returned with news that the way ahead was blocked. Temmerin was beside himself with glee.
"I thought it'd be longer before I got to blow anything up," he told Bethany. He was so obviously excited about the prospect that she almost felt badly about speaking up.
"There's a way around," she said. Nathaniel looked questioningly at her. "It was blocked when we were down here too. There's a side tunnel a little further up that connects back to the main road."
Temmerin sighed in disappointment. "No boom, then?" he asked.
"No boom," Nathaniel deadpanned. He laid a companionable hand on the dwarf's shoulder, "I'm sure we'll find something for you to blow up. Personally, I'd rather not let the darkspawn know we're here just yet." He motioned for Bethany to follow him as he moved away from the others.
"Do you remember the way?" he asked.
"The first part, yes. The second part is a little hazier." Her lips felt dry, and she licked them nervously. "That's – I caught the taint there. After a certain point I couldn't do much besides concentrate on following my sister."
"I'd like to have you with me while I check ahead, then," Nathaniel said, and Bethany was absurdly grateful that he didn't try to offer her sympathy. He went back briefly to inform the rest of the party of their plans, then collected her and led the way down toward the block in the road. The steady pressure of darkspawn, present since they'd entered the tunnels, grew stronger as they went. Nathaniel caught her slight shiver and gave her a wry smile. "Another reason I would prefer not to announce our presence."
Bethany tried to smile back, but the attempt was weak. She peered into the branching tunnels as they went, searching for anything that seemed familiar. She stopped in front of one that took a sharp turn to the right a few feet in and let out a long breath. "This is the one," she said.
Nathaniel closed his eyes. "There are darkspawn fairly close. We go in slowly. If there's more than I think the two of use can handle, we leave. No heroics."
She gave him a withering look, and he chuckled.
The first group of darkspawn was small enough that Bethany was able to dispatch them with a couple of well-placed fireballs. Nathaniel left them to her, and kept an arrow nocked in case there were any stragglers. They made their way past exposed lyrium veins that made Bethany's blood sing, challenged only by the occasional pair of genlocks, until they reached a set of narrow, roughly-hewn stone steps flanked by two huge pillars of rock jutting from the floor. Bethany hesitated.
"Wait," she said, as Nathaniel started up the steps. "Wait. We were ambushed here."
The words were barely out of her mouth when an emissary shimmered into existence between them, and she scrambled to get a barrier up as genlocks came pouring down the stairs. The first spell hit the edge of her shield like a hammer, and she staggered sideways before pulling the heat from the air around the emissary, freezing it solid. She swung the weighted end of her staff and hit it squarely in the chest, shattering it.
Nathaniel was sending shot after shot up the stairs, grim-faced. The first few he'd killed had fallen on top of each other, slowing the descent of those following. Bethany raised her arms, and -
- and there were so many of them. Marian danced among them, dropping bodies as her sword arced through the air, and making it impossible to throw any kind of spell for fear of hitting her. And when it was over, she'd gone to wipe the blood away from Marian's face, felt her hand sting, and looked down to see the bright red of her own blood beneath a darker smear . . .
"Bethany!"
She blinked, caught the fast unraveling of her spell and refocused, calling a blizzard to freeze every living thing on the steps. She poured her magic into it, whipping the winds of the spell till they howled and flung the frozen bodies of the darkspawn to smash against the walls. She heard Nathaniel curse softly beside her as she let the storm die down and the broken bodies that littered the steps became visible.
"I see I will have to revise my notion of what two people can handle," he said, lowering his bow. She didn't reply, shaken by her sudden memory of the place.
"Bethany?"
She took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It – It was such a stupid thing. I scraped the back of my hand on one of the rocks, and didn't even realize it was bleeding until – until I . . ."
Nathaniel looked up the stairs, and Bethany knew he was gauging how far away the next group of darkspawn were. Whatever he felt must have reassured him, because he unstrung his bow and put his hand under her elbow, guiding her to sit on one of the fallen pieces of masonry.
"I was conscripted myself," he said, taking a seat beside her. "The circumstances were not as dire as yours, but I had as little choice in the matter."
"I'm sorry," she said again. "Just give me a minute, and I'll be over it."
Nathaniel made a dismissive motion with one hand. "I have no complaints," he said with a pointed look back at the stairs. She laughed weakly. "You were incredibly lucky to have found Wardens so soon after you caught the taint."
The lift at the end of the sentence was slight enough that she could ignore it, if she chose. But wasn't that what she'd been doing for years now?
"We had an – someone who knew the Wardens were in the area with us," Bethany stumbled, remembering almost too late that Anders had run away from the Wardens. "Marian – my sister – practically dragged me to them."
Nathaniel frowned, "You almost sound like you wish she had not."
What was she supposed to say to that? Yes, sometimes? No, of course not? Both answers were true, and that was the problem. Bethany settled for a noncommittal shrug.
Nathaniel stood. "I think we can bring the party this far, at least. Are you recovered?" She nodded, and he offered his hand to help her rise. He held her hand for a moment longer as he looked seriously at her. "Bethany. A Warden's life is hard, but it is not a bad one. I would not have chosen it, but I know myself for a better man because of it."
She pulled her hand away. "So I should be grateful?" she asked, spitting out the last word.
"No. That is not – never mind," he said with a weary sigh that made her feel childish. They spent the return trip in silence. She was feeling resentful for being made to feel childish and he no doubt had no interest in talking to someone who snapped at him with little provocation. Bethany was grateful when they rejoined the rest of the group and she could slip away from the uncomfortable silence.
She kept to the back with the dwarfs as the company retraced the path back through the tunnels. Nathaniel's gaze lingered on her a few times when he checked back to make sure everyone was still together, but he made no further effort at conversation. The company had to halt for a bit when they reached the stone stairs again to clear them of the darkspawn bodies so the dwarfs could haul up their small carts and barrels of explosives. It was a messy job, with Bethany's ice long since melted to coat the steps in a mixture of blood and entrails. More than a few of the other Wardens made appreciative noises at the carnage and looked at her with new respect.
Then there were more tunnels, less familiar than before. Bethany barely remembered more than the vague shapes of the passages, consumed as she had been with the pain of the corruption in her blood. Clarity came only in flashes, such as when she would look at a stone formation and suddenly remember leaning against it, bone-tired, in that awful moment when she had no longer been able to lie to herself about the burning ache that permeated every inch of her body. She withdrew into herself, ignoring the overtures of her fellow Wardens until they gave up and let her be, everything focused on simply not falling apart. Even Nathaniel left her alone when it became obvious her memory was of no more use.
By the time disaster struck, Bethany had entirely lost track of the days. That there were darkspawn nearby was no surprise; all of the Wardens had been on edge for the last day or so. Their current path had branched several times into smaller tunnels blocked by rock from floor to ceiling a few feet in, and in too many of them the presence of darkspawn could be felt just beyond. But rocks could be shifted, and Bethany was not the only one to find herself glancing over her shoulder, rear guard or not.
They had just reached a great hall when the attack came. The small group of darkspawn camped behind a pile of rubble was quickly dispatched, and Nathaniel had just ordered Temmerin to the front to inspect what looked like a false wall when the ever-present tug of darkspawn surged. There was a rumble from the tunnel and the very ground began to shake. Bethany cast a paralysis glyph just as an ogre thundered around the corner, holding it in place and blocking the entrance for the hurlocks behind it. She took the moment's respite to send lightning forking down the tunnel, and was readying a third spell when her glyph suddenly dissipated.
Emissary, Bethany thought, gripping her staff tighter. A hand grabbed her arm and yanked her back. Bethany struggled to remember the man's name as he raised his shield to block the first blow from the ogre.
"Mages to the back!" he called over his shoulder.
Daren. Bethany recalled his name as she retreated, lobbing fireballs over the ogre to keep him from being overwhelmed as she went. He was joined by the other swordsmen, and Nathaniel circled to try to find an angle down the tunnel.
Bethany cast a few protective spells, unable to do much else with her fellow Wardens in her line of sight, and kept an eye out for the emissary. The ogre went down and the hurlocks began climbing over it almost before its body hit the floor. Bethany drifted from side to side, gritting her teeth in frustration as the others continued to block her spell's path.
The ground shook again, and Bethany barely had time to feel the air constrict, like a sharp intake of breath, before a force spell unleashed itself at the mouth of the tunnel. It was powerful enough to lift the ogre's body and fling it into the Wardens, unblocking the mouth of the tunnel. The body pinned one of swordsmen as it landed and jarred his sword from his hand.
Temmerin shouted and Bethany looked back just in time to see the false wall collapse. The dwarf with him never stood a chance, head smashed in by a mace before he even finished turning.
"Nathaniel!" Bethany shouted and ran toward the dwarfs before waiting to see if he heard. She called fire and threw it above Temmerin's head, making the genlocks snarl and flinch backwards. The hole in the wall was high, but narrow. She might be able to hold it by herself.
The genlocks were pushed forward from behind, and one massive hand grasped the edge of the rough doorway. Bethany sent a panicked wave of cold toward the genlocks as the ogre stuck its horned head through the opening and roared. Her ears rang and she stood frozen, dazed and disoriented. The ogre shoved its shoulders forward, feet smashing the frozen genlocks, and fixed its eyes on her.
Move, Bethany told herself. Move! The ogre raised its hand, and she saw Carver, half of her heart forever left broken at Lothering. Its hand curled into a fist, and she saw Marian and the look in her eyes as she cut their brother's killer off at the knees before burying her sword in its heart. Marian, who she was still mad at, still wanted to yell at, wanted to blame, to thank, to bury her head on her shoulder and cry until she believed the awkward assurances Marian whispered in her ear.
The flames roared as they burst from her, a white-hot inferno that engulfed the ogre and swept through the tunnel behind it. The darkspawn screamed in agony. She only let the spell go when they turned silent, the ogre nothing but a charred corpse before her. Bethany swayed, low on mana and feeling lightheaded.
"Maker's Breath." Bethany turned her head to see Daren staring. "And to think Nathaniel thought you needed backup," Daren put out an arm to steady her as she swayed again. The two other Wardens with him – Hal, and the elf was Mihai, Bethany thought – moved to check the tunnel for survivors.
"Lyrium," Bethany managed, and Daren quickly found a vial in a belt pouch and uncorked it before passing it to her. It helped. "Temmerin?" she asked, looking around for the dwarf.
"The powder's okay, they just got Geir there." From his tone, he thought it a fair exchange. Hal and Mihai returned.
"All clear," Mihai said. He looked back to where the rest of the Wardens still fought. "We should -" He cut off as the stone beneath them shook yet again, stronger than any of the previous times. Two sections of the wall between them and the others fell in, and darkspawn streamed out, half heading their way, the other half flanking the group by the tunnel entrance.
"Bethany?" Daren asked urgently.
"I can't do anything big for a few minutes yet," she said, still feeling her reserves replenish. He nodded, and took point, Hal and Mihai fanning out to either side to form a semi-circle in front of her and Temmerin. She scraped together enough energy to cast a defensive shield over each of them before the first wave of darkspawn hit. They broke the first assault, and the second, before Bethany felt recovered enough to start throwing offensive spells again. And still the darkspawn kept coming.
"Back," Daren hauled Hal up as he fell to one knee after the fifth wave. He looked around desperately. "Down the stairs." Bethany emptied another lyrium potion and laid down a line of repulsion glyphs to cover their retreat. "Dwarf!" Daren barked as Temmerin tried to drag a barrel with him. "Leave it!" Temmerin looked affronted at the very thought and had to be pulled away by Mihai.
Bethany looked back as they reached the top of the stairs. Darkspawn bodies littered the area, but the other Wardens had still been pushed back into the tunnel; there would be no help coming from that direction.
There was a small alcove at the bottom of the stairs. Daren put Hal's back against the wall where he could lean heavily, favoring his right leg. Bethany and Mihai arrived with Temmerin a moment later and took position in front of the entrance.
And waited.
Mihai shifted nervously. "Where are they?" He looked at Daren, who nodded. Mihai darted out and crept slowly up the stairs until he could peer over the top edge. Bethany moved back to check Hal's leg. She sighed in relief as she found the knee twisted, but no bones broken. Mihai returned, looking troubled.
"They aren't moving," he said. "It's almost like they're waiting for something."
Daren cursed. Bethany ignored the spike of fear that the words brought and began healing Hal's leg. It took longer than it should have and would be easy to reinjure, but it would do. Hal pushed off from the wall and stomped his leg, testing, before he looked at Daren.
"Well?"
Daren shook his head. "I don't think we can break through. Do you know where this path leads?" he asked Bethany.
"I think we're almost to the thaig," she said. "There is, or was, a way back to the surface through it. But we only went that way because the door was blocked behind us. It could be still."
"I don't like the idea of getting trapped even deeper down," Hal said.
"I don't like the idea of waiting to see what those darkspawn are waiting for," Mihai shot back.
Bethany was silent. The adrenaline of battle was wearing off, and the remembered feeling of being trapped and helpless was creeping in.
Daren strode out and closed his eyes, facing away from the stairs. After a few moments, he re-opened them. "There's at least one large group and several smaller groups that way, but I can't tell how far apart they are."
"We don't have much in the way of provisions either," Mihai pointed out.
Temmerin glared at them all. "I'm not leaving my powder for those darkspawn to get a hold of. Should've let me blow it up."
Bethany caught her breath, "Would that work? Surely we could hold them off long enough to set the fuses."
"Won't even need to do that." Temmerin mimed a throwing motion, "You just do that fireball trick of yours, and they'll blow. Need to be big ones, though."
"Perfect," Daren said. "We can push through right after the explosions and -" he stopped as Bethany shook her head.
"I can't," she said. "I could get a small one off, maybe, but I'm almost out of mana."
"Lyrium?"
"I used my last one on our retreat. I had more on the cart."
"How long till you're ready?"
Bethany considered it. Normally the lyrium found in the Deep Roads bolstered mana regeneration, but it felt wrong here. Not quite like it had in the ancient thaig, but wrong enough. "At least six hours," she told Daren. "It takes longer to come back naturally after using so many lyrium potions."
"That's a long time to wait," Hal said.
"It's the best option we have," Daren told him. "All right. Bethany, you rest. Mihai, you're on first watch, I'll take second. Let's hope whatever the darkspawn are waiting for is late."
Bethany sat in the corner, pulling her legs up and resting her staff against them. She didn't expect to be able to sleep with darkspawn so nearby, but she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall anyway. She was afraid and drained in more ways than one. Still, when Daren shook her then motion pulled her back from the outer edges of the Fade, though true sleep had eluded her. She did a quick internal assessment and frowned at him.
"I know," he said. "It's only been a few hours, but there's movement. I don't think we can wait any longer. Here," he passed her a couple of lyrium potions. "Mihai risked a quick scout of the area and found these stashed a little further in." Bethany immediately drank half of one.
"Daren," Hal said He stood a little ways out from the shelter of the alcove, looking up the stairs. "We need to go now."
"Don't cast unless you absolutely have to," Daren gave Bethany his hand to pull her up. "Save it for the explosives. Stay with her," he said to Temmerin.
They almost made it. At the foot of the stairs, they all felt the shift in the air; halfway up they heard the rush of darkspawn as they approached their position. Daren met the first genlock on the last step up. He put his shoulder down and threw his weight behind his shield to try and clear a path. Mihai joined him on his shield side; Hal tried to cover the opposite side, but the stairs were too narrow. Bethany hovered uselessly behind them, still too far down to get an angle on the barrels of powder.
Once, twice, Daren and Mihai tried to break through, but the darkspawn had the high ground and the advantage of fresh fighters. Despite their best efforts, they found themselves pushed back down the stairs.
Bethany retreated several steps. A blizzard, like the one she called days earlier. They could smash their way back up and she could still set off the explosives.
"Cover me," she shouted to Hal as she began gathering energy. Daren and Mihai still held the darkspawn to the foot of the stairs, but even as Hal squared off in front of her, genlocks began jumping over the side. His sword flashed as Bethany started the spell. Ice. Wind. More energy to expand the target area Thread it all together and -
A heavy weight sent Bethany reeling back and she lost the spell. Hal stared up at her, helmet gone and his jaw half-shorn off. He breathed, once, blood bubbling in his mouth on the exhale, and then was still.
The darkspawn pressed forward and Bethany had to fall back, leaving Hal where he had fallen. Daren and Mihai were doing the same. The passage opened behind them into another great hall. Lava flowed along one side and there was another set of steps on the far end of the hall, leading up to a narrow tunnel. If they could get to it, they might be able to mount a proper defense.
Bethany drank the rest of the first lyrium potion and cast rejuvenation spells on the party before remembering Temmerin. He wasn't with them She sent a bolt of lightning into the approaching darkspawn, quickly scanning behind them when they fell. Nothing. She could only hope the darkspawn had ignored him in favor of the Wardens.
She led the retreat, Daren and Mihai guarding the flank. Once she gained the high ground, she would have a clear shot at the darkspawn without the worry of hitting her companions. She risked a quick look over her shoulder; they were almost halfway across the hall.
A side door opened, and an ogre, closely followed by hurlocks, circled behind them, cutting off their retreat. At her cry, Daren shifted to meet the new threat, leaving Bethany to hold the middle.
There was little strategy to the fight now. Bethany caught the downward swing of a sword with her staff and blasted the genlock at close quarters She was pulling energy as fast as she could, able to do nothing more than give it the most basic of shapes before hurling it into the enemy. Darkspawn fell only to be replaced by those behind them. She saw Mihai go down, run through by a spear with a wickedly hooked blade. Daren was surrounded, still yelling battle cries to draw the darkspawn to him. Even as she set the closest genlock aflame, she saw the ogre put its head down and charge, scattering hurlocks before slamming into Daren. The impact flung his shield arm to one side and a hurlock took advantage of the moment to stick its sword up in the joint of his armor between the shoulder and arm. Another grabbed his shield arm and pulled it back, and even through the din Bethany could heard the pop and Daren's cry of pain as it was ripped from its socket. They tore his helmet off and yanked his head back by the hair. A genlock opened its mouth to show its teeth and leaned in over his exposed throat and she couldn't, she couldn't watch.
A blast of ice gave her a moment's breathing space, but the lava was at her back and all other routes were five deep in darkspawn. Her mana was almost gone and she had only the one lyrium potion left. Desperate, Bethany cast a barrier spell. The hurlocks hit the edge and stopped, frustrated by the impenetrable shimmer of air. Bethany opened her last potion with shaking fingers and drank it. The darkspawn watched her as she did so. The ogre came up to the very edge of the spell and stared at her, eyes dark and hungry. It bared its teeth at her and slammed its fist down, halted mere inches from the top of her head. It snorted in frustration and began pacing back and forth. The spell would only last a few moments, and they both knew it.
She was going to die.
The knowledge was a bleak thing. She was going to die and there was nothing she could do to prevent it. She didn't want to die.
Bethany put her hand to her chest, feeling the crinkle of paper where she had tucked Marian's last letter. Marian would be mad. She'd rail against the inevitable and beat it down through sheer stubbornness. Bethany wasn't her sister.
One final spell, as large as she could make it, and then she would throw herself into the lava. She knew what the darkspawn did to women. Alistair made sure they all knew when he took over after Stroud's Calling. She didn't want to die, but the alternative was unthinkable.
The barrier spell was winding down. Bethany took a deep breath in a futile attempt to steady herself before the end.
There was a series of explosions back up the passage. Temmerin, Bethany thought. Oh, Maker keep you. The darkspawns' attention was diverted; there was no better time. She was about to drop the shield when the ogre who had been pacing roared and headed toward the stairs, the other darkspawn following. She looked over and for one heady moment was sure she'd gone mad. There was no other reason why she should be seeing her sister, here, in the middle of the blighted Deep Roads.
Relief so sharp it was painful flooded through her. Marian was here. She was here.
Bethany barely remembered casting any more spells, but she must have, because by the time her sister fought her way over and lopped the head off the final darkspawn more than a few bodies were rimed with frost. Marian lowered her sword and looked at her. Bethany stared back. There were more people with her, but Bethany had eyes for no one else.
Marian gave a little half-shrug when Bethany failed to do or say anything. "I see I needn't have written," she said. There was silver in her hair, and lines by her eyes that hadn't been there the last time they'd met. "Anyone else make it?"
"I – no." Bethany finally tore her eyes away from Marian to look at the others. Anders, looking worn and scraped thin; Varric, who gave her an easy grin; and Fenris, who was ignoring her to frown at Marian. And Nathaniel, just Nathaniel, who met her eyes in acknowledgment and shook his head. No other survivors.
Marian pulled her attention back, "Are you all right?"
Bethany laughed. She couldn't help it. Was she all right? The adrenaline from the fight was wearing off, and she had space to think again, to remember Mihai's look of disbelief at the shaft of the spear jutting from his chest, and the noises the darkspawn made after she had looked away from Daren. She laughed again, the sound teetering on the edge of hysterical. Anders took a hard look at her and a moment later she felt the warm glow of a rejuvenation spell. He pressed an elfroot potion in her hands and ordered her to drink it. After she complied, he peered into her eyes before giving Marian a reassuring nod. Not her, Marian. It was like being seven all over again.
"Why?" Bethany asked, and as if it was some prearranged signal, everyone but Marian suddenly decided to be doing something else several feet away.
Marian cocked her head. "Nathaniel's sister got worried about him being away for so long and came to Kirkwall to recruit a rescue party. And you know me, I think I can solve everyone's problems."
"I know," Bethany said, and Marian winced slightly. Bethany drew breath to apologize – she hadn't meant that, truly – but three feet and years of resentment separated them and she had no idea how to bridge the gap. Now was the time, she knew. She should say thank you and tell her sister she missed her, and then she could lay her head on Marian's shoulder and things would start to be all right between them again.
Bethany looked beyond Marian, where Nathaniel was just rising from Mihai's body. He said something to Anders, who nodded shortly and began burning the body.
"I used to think nothing really bad could happen to me if you were around," she said.
"Beth," Marian's voice broke.
"I know," Bethany said. "I know it's not your fault. But -" she looked helplessly at Marian. "I can't."
Marian's face went unreadable. "All right," she said, after she took a turn watching Nathaniel and Anders. She drew herself up and Bethany could feel the distance between them increase. "Let's see if the others are about ready to go. I don't think this is anyone's favorite place to be."
It was an awkward trip back to the surface. Besides the tension between herself and Marian, it turned out Nathaniel had served with Anders and Justice right after the Blight and was not happy to discover what had happened in the years since. The only bright spot was finding Temmerin alive and well-pleased with himself before they camped the first day. They moved faster without the carts from the trip in, but it still took over a week before they saw daylight again.
Nathaniel declined Marian's offer of lodging in Kirkwall, citing the need to return to Ansburg as quickly as possible. He did give her a message and enough coin to ensure safe passage back to Ferelden for his sister. He stepped away with Temmerin, giving Bethany space to say her good-byes.
Anders gave her a few more lyrium potions, Fenris contented himself with a nod, and Varric took both of her hands in his and solemnly promised that their next meeting would involve dancing and Orlesian silks. She couldn't help smiling a little, and he squeezed her hands before releasing them.
And then it was just her and Marian. Before she could say anything, Marian closed in and gave her a quick hard hug, letting go and stepping back before Bethany could respond.
"I'm still going to write," Marian said. "I know it's selfish, but you're my sister and I love you. Feel free to write back and yell at me for it."
"I will," Bethany said, surprising them both. "I mean, I'll try." Marian's eyes shone at that, and for a second Bethany thought she might hug her again. But she didn't, just pressed Bethany's hand once in farewell before departing.
It was a start. Heart lighter than it had been in ages, Bethany turned and set her face towards Ansburg.