The next morning, Shiva didn't even want to wake up. Laying on the bed with her back facing the door, she didn't even want to leave, ever. Hearing a knock on the door, it was her brother coming to check up on her.
"Sis, you want to go out with us and have some fun?" asked Gary.
"I'm feeling a little sick...I can't go out" said Shiva.
"Did you take some medicine?" asked Gary.
"Yes, it's why I am resting..." said Shiva.
"Oh...well...if you need anything, make sure to give me a call" said Gary.
"Sure..." said Shiva.
"I really care about you sis...know that" said Gary before leaving the house.
This was really starting to tear Shiva apart. Not only was she blocking her only family member from knowing anything about her, but her one and only friend was also in danger because of her. Why couldn't she tell anyone about this? Why did she have to be the only one to go through this. None of this was fair, she wanted it all to go away. Leaving her room to go downstairs, something caught her eye. Under the table was the small reflection of a pistol, it must have belonged to one of the trio. Without thinking about it, she ran over to take the gun and sit on the couch with it. It sure had some weight to it. The safety switch was on as she disabled it to have it point straight at her. Her hands began to shake wildly, as if telling her to stop. There was no reason to stop as the tip of the pistol was placed in her mouth. Tears rolled down her eyes as she began to think about her brother and Emily, how she would miss them dearly.
"I can't die in peace even if I do this...".
Closing her eyes as she slowly pressed the trigger, she heard footsteps coming down the stairs but didn't bother to look as she tried to quickly press the trigger. Simon had stayed behind since the other two were going to check out an adult shop that he didn't exactly feel comfortable going to at the moment. He was upstairs in the bathroom when he heard footsteps at the stairs. Coming down to check if it was Shiva who he heard, apparently he was right and she had a pistol in her mouth while pulling the trigger. Attempting to make a run for her , he reached his hand out to her.
"Shiva, no!" he yelled.
Squeezing her eyes shut, Shiva pulled the trigger to the pistol and heard a click. Nothing happened. Simon was quick to pull the pistol from her mouth and placed it behind him on a table before attending to Shiva. Frozen from the shock she just gave herself, all she could do is cry at the thought that she almost killed herself.
"What the bloody hell were you thinking? Why was there a gun in your mouth!" yelled Simon.
"It's none of your business! Just leave me alone!" said Shiva trying to run up to her room.
Simon clearly stopped her by holding her arm and pulling her to face him.
"You've got some explaining to do, miss. I'm calling your brother right now" said Simon attempting to reach for his phone.
"No, please don't! I don't want him to know! I'll tell you but please don't tell my brother..." said Shiva crying.
"Sit and explain" said Simon.
Sitting on the the couch across from Simon, she wrapped herself up with her arms and sobbed.
"Don't tell anyone about this...please..." said Shiva.
"I won't, so tell me...why were you trying to kill yourself. You're lucky the pistol gets jammed easily" said Simon.
"The girls today...said they were going to get Emily tomorrow at school...just like me..." said Shiva.
"What girls? What do you mean they were gonna get her?" asked Simon.
"After school...they will pull her to an empty alley way and beat her up for hanging out with me" said Shiva.
"Wait, you were bullied at school?" said Simon.
"Yes...ever since I started high school...they would always get me after school and I never told anyone, until now" said Shiva.
"Why haven't you told anyone? This is serious. They could go to jail for this, especially if it has been going on this long" said Simon.
"I was afraid that they would keep doing it..." said Shiva.
"And they have, it could have stopped if you told your brother or the principal" said Simon.
"My brother is never really here...the principal says he's tired of sending him letters when he is busy. My brother won't want to come here just because I am getting bullied...you guys have much more important things to worry about" said Shiva.
"He is your brother, you are the only family he has. The reason he is doing this is to keep you safe from all the dangers out there. You should tell your brother when he gets home" said Simon.
"No! They said they'd kill me if I told anyone! Please don't tell him...or anyone..." said Shiva.
"Who would, the girls?" asked Simon.
"Yes...they always tell me..." said Shiva.
"Is this why you have also been ignoring your brother?" asked Simon.
Shiva nodded.
"You don't trust anyone, do you" said Simon.
"I can't...I just can't..." said Shiva.
Simon walked over to Shiva and embraced her.
"It must've been hard, everyone reaching out to you and you are unable to do anything...but it's alright. We're here for you...your brother wants to help very much" said Simon.
Shiva returned the embrace and cried on his shoulders. This feeling, it was something to soothe her aching heart. Why did it take so long for it to come? This feels nice, she didn't want it to end.
"Simon...please help me...I really care about Emily..." said Shiva.
Simon looked at Shiva who was pleading for help, but what could he do. Picking fights with teenagers, there was no proof of her injuries and Shiva wouldn't confess to it for the fear of it never stopping. There was nothing for him to do.
"I'll do my best...but I really do think you should tell your brother...only he can help you" said Simon.
"I'll try..." said Shiva.
There was a moment of silence before Simon stood up and made sure to store the pistol in a safe place. In the mean time they both minded their own business but Shiva was thinking of how to tell her brother about this. It wasn't exactly something she would just say out of the blue, especially if Simon had to force it out of her. Resting in her room, she waited for her brother and buddy to return. The wait wasn't long until she heard them coming in from the door, but she didn't want to come out. Simon came up to her room and knocked on the door.
"You know he's here..." said Simon.
"I can't do it..." said Shiva.
"Try..." said Simon.
Making his way back down to form their little trio group, the evening and night was spent drinking. It was impossible to tell them now, this was her excuse for today. On her Glitz account, Emily tried to get in touch with her but had an emergency family situation and was unable to come over and visit.
"I wanted to come over and talk to you about what happened at the mall, but I won't be home until later tonight. My aunt is in the hospital and I am not sure if she'll make it...if you need to get a hold of me, tell me at school tomorrow".
She couldn't tell her at school, they didn't see each other until class time and after school. By that time it would be too late, and she couldn't tell anyone. Simon was the only one who knew but he said he wouldn't tell. Now Shiva was in a stand off between telling or not. Right around midnight she heard a knock on her door, it was her brother.
"Shiva, please spend time with your brother. I've been trying to have you spend some quality time with me but it seems like you don't want to. If you're mad at me I understand, but give me a chance would ya" said Gary.
Walking over to the door, Shiva opened the door to see her brother standing there with a worried face expression.
"So how about some quality time with your brother, huh sis?" he said with a forced smile.
She wanted to tell him, she really did. Yet for some reason the words she wanted to tell him didn't come out as planned.
"...you're too late brother...all these years I hoped for you to be here longer. I wanted you here but you never were. Where were you all these years! Didn't you know I was here all alone! Instead of coming alone to spend time with me, you bring your friends over and drink practically every night! All you've done is cause me nothing but trouble, you and your friends!" she yelled.
"No...no...please stop...please stop! Brother I need you!".
Gary was at his limit. He didn't want to ever hear any of this. This tore his heart into pieces and he almost let out a tear, but held himself back. Never would he have expected to hear this, but he did feel it was his fault that he was never here for her.
"I...have no brother..." said Shiva.
His eyes widened upon hearing this. He couldn't take another single word.
"If...that's how you feel...I respect it..." said Gary.
Slamming the door on him, she couldn't believe everything she just said. Falling on her knees, tears rolled down her cheeks as she tried to hold back from crying.
"I...I didn't mean to..."said Shiva.
"I have...contaminated my own brother...".
"What have I become...".