My world has crashed, all my feelings, my past, my life, it has all submerged into the fact that I am going to die. I feel as if I'm burning, images of my life flash before my eyes with the voice of Effie Trinket calling my name: my father hugging me happily, Mantis grinning, knowing that I would never see this again. I start breathing heavily, because no, it couldn't be me. I was only in there 4 times; Shiya was in 62 times. It had to be a mistake-

"Zara? Where's Zara?" My eyes go back into focus, and I can see the face of Mantis, his eyes as big as dinner plates, keeping hold of my hand and begging me silently, don't go up there. Run.

But I can't, and he knows it. I pull my arm from his grasp, noticing that it was shaking wildly, take a deep breath, and walk my way up to stage. I see the faces of other teens looking at me with pity, but of course there were the ones who were snickering.

I stumble a bit on my way, and hear a few laughs. I clench my fists. It's not enough to die on TV, but now I've just humiliated myself on it too. I hear a commotion behind me, and turn to see my father being held back by Peacekeepers, while other parents try desperately to move away as they stare in horror, and my mother shaking her head in disgust as he struggles to get to me. There are tears in his eyes, but there's nothing he can do. He's too old to volunteer. He doesn't have the power to change things. He looks at me with pleading eyes, saying the same thing as Mantis, but I just give him a shake of my head, and begin to walk again.

A second commotion. My father has fainted.

I keep my fists clenched, eyes ahead, until I arrive at the podium. "Here she is!" cries Effie, looking thrilled at the excitement my father has caused. "You must be thrilled, aren't you?" before I have time to reply (which would come out in spluttering and squeaking anyway.) she carries on, "But of course, we're not done yet! We still have the male tribute to select!" The second she has turned away I let out a squeak, and try to calm myself as Effie sticks her hand into the bowl of boy's names. The majority of girls are now looking relieved, but the boys are as terrified as ever. The only one I hope won't be picked is Mantis. Not just because he would die. He's actually pretty good at athletics. Better than me anyway. No, it was also because I want to come home, and that's not going to happen if Mantis is with me. I could never kill my best friend. Not that I could kill anyone anyway.

Effie pulls out a slip, and the crowd grows silent again. I can almost hear the heartbeat of nearly every teenaged boy in the square. But I don't care who gets picked, I'm too busy being scared for myself. Just as long as it isn't Mantis. Oh, and if I have the smallest chance of winning, if can't be-

"Garter Wilde! Come on up here Garter!" My blood runs cold, and I let out a small groan. Of course it is. It has to be. Judging by my luck, it has to be the most brutal person in the district who's my opponent. Still, at least I won't feel bad killing him. If I can.

Shiya cheers and hugs him, in such a soppy way Mantis and I would have pretended to be sick by now. But because of my current predicament, neither of us are in the mood for joking.

Garter swaggers up to the stage; looking a little bit nervous, but nervous like a child is before it goes fishing for the first time. People cheer for him as he passes. It's alright for them though. They won't be dead in the next week.

He climbs on stage, and gives me a stare which straight away I understand as, "you'll be dead in a day, I'll make sure to kill you myself." He gives a quick dashing smile to the audience, and then turns back to me so I'm able to cast him a glare which I hope he read as "we'll just see about that." Hopefully that'll confuse him. He's always been a bit empty in the head. I guess he has the muscle to make up for it.

"Now, it's time to ask: are there any volunteers out there?" I know that none of the boys will take Garter's place. He's been wanting this his whole life. if whoever went in his place managed to come home, Garter would probably kill him anyway. But I stare pleadingly into the audience of girls, begging somebody to take my place. I catch Shiya's eye; didn't she want to be in the games? She would have a chance of winning, she's brilliant at throwing a spear, I've seen her fish. But all she does is give me a cocky grin, as if she's saying, "ha, sucks to be you." And apart from that, there's nothing except the sound of the birds. No one wants to help me.

"Well, so there we have it! Ladies and gentlemen, our tributes for District 4, Garter Wilde and Zara Paylor!" Trills Effie. There's a scatter of polite applause, and a huge whoop comes from my mother. In spite of it all, I roll my eyes. We are now required to shake hands, and I wince as Garter makes his best attempt to crush my fingers without anyone noticing. And then it's all over.

The peacekeepers lead me to the justice building, and inside a bleak white room with a couple black chairs. They sit me down and walk out, no doubt going to collect my parents.

I stare across the room, though there was nothing to look at. White walls. White celling. White floors. All so clean and bright that it seemed unnatural, and keeping your eyes open for too long would make them start to ache.

It's weird, I'm not feeling scared anymore. Well, I am, but I feel numb, and the thoughts of my painful death which are sure to come feel dreamlike, as if it would all be an illusion. I've stopped feeling terrified and have started to feel depressed, almost insane. Great. If this is what I'm like now, how on earth am I going to manage in the arena?

My mother bursts in, and sweeps me up in a hug. At first I hug her back, a real hug, because knowing that I'm never going to see her again makes me realise that I do love her, even though she can be irritating sometimes. Well, all of the time. I hear her sniffing, and I think that she's upset by all of this, but when I pull out of the hug at last I see that there are tears in her eyes, but there's a huge smile on her face too.

"Why isn't father here?"

"He wanted to talk to you alone, for some odd reason." She stops looking confused and beams at me. "Oh Zara, I'm so proud of you, this is our chance for some real glory!" she cries.

I want to slap her. But there is so much happiness in her eyes; I don't have the heart to. Even though this is supposed to be about me. So I manage to put on a little smile and say," Yes mother, I can't wait!" She bursts into fresh tears, and embraces me again, so I can barely breathe.

"Darling, I can't believe our luck! [Lucky for you, maybe.] Ok, hunny, we need to work out a plan of action."

"Plan….of action?"

"Of course! I've actually thought of one myself, I came up with it years ago, although you never volunteered." She pauses to give me a disapproving look. "But no matter! You're older now, so you have a better chance!"

And she begins to explain this plan to me, which involves running to point A, joining the careers, and then doing a roll, using a certain type of knife, and I think there's a bird in there somewhere? I just drift into daydreams, nodding at every pause she makes, saying "hmm." In approval when she asks what I think about it so far. I wonder that if she's so excited, why did she never volunteer for the games herself? I come to realise though, as she explains in detail how I stab someone, that she's sending me into huge groups of people, all armed. She doesn't seem to care if I get hurt. I see the savageness in her eyes as she shows me her choice of weaponry and it tells me that I can die all I want, as long as district 4 takes home the crown.

"Still, if this plan fails, at least we'll have Garter to depend on!" she finishes with a flourish.

This crushes me like a bug. So she doesn't want me, she wants Garter. She cares more about winning than her own daughter's life. She complimenting him, casting me aside and showing her love for Garter. My worst enemy.

Tears have started to spring up in my eyes, so I duck my head to make sure that she doesn't see them. But she does.

"Zara, why on earth are you crying?" I give a defiant sniff, and say,

"It's Paylor."

She shakes her head pityingly, "you can't be crying in the Careers group, they'll squash you. And I-"

"Maybe I don't want to join the careers." I say coldly, crossing my arms. I'm acting like a 2 year old, I know, but anger is starting to bubble up inside of me. Doesn't she care at all?

"Ha! Don't make me laugh. Hunny, you know you'll never survive without them."

That's it. I don't love her anymore.

I'm up out of chair like a shot. "Get out!" I cry, "Get OUT!" this was the only thing I'd inherited from my mother: a bad temper.

Lucky for me her anger doesn't appear, she just seems startled at my sudden insanity. "Zara, what are you"-I snatch the plan sheet from her hands and rip it to shreds. I don't want anything to do with her anymore.

"DON'T CALL ME ZARA!" I scream. Peacekeepers run into the room after hearing my sudden outburst. Half of them grab me by the shoulders and hold me back, the other half take my mother from the room. I stop screaming, and turn to sobbing, deciding this would be safer in the presence of peacekeepers. Wouldn't want to get in trouble. Well, more trouble than I'm already in.

Once I'm calm the peacekeepers walk out once more, and I have just enough time to wipe my tears before Mantis comes running in. he also sweeps me in a hug, but I know this one is a distraught one, so I don't think twice before returning it. We stay this way for a while.

"You have to win, Paylor."

"I can't, you know I can't-"

"Don't say that, you can. If you just try-"

"You mean kill people?" I don't want to know another plan.

"No, I mean hide, or be resourceful, use your brain to survive. Don't just give up."

I give him a look. "Cheesy much, Mantis?"

"Look, you have to come home. I mean," He gives me the biggest grin he can muster, which isn't very big; "You're my only friend here. I don't wanna wind up on my own. Remember, it's all about me."

I laugh. A joke around is just what I need right now. "Of course," I say, "I'm so sorry, how dare I think about myself in your time of need!" we both smile, and don't say anymore. We don't need to. I've heard all that I need to hear. So we sit in silence, hands entwined (not romantically of course, we decided ages ago that if we ever became a couple, then we'd have no friends at all.) until the peacekeepers come and take him away.

While he's standing up, Mantis gives me one last smile, and says, "Don't forget, make sure you kill Garter. Then I'll have Shiya all to myself!" I give a laugh, even though my eyes are beginning to water again. Suddenly I have the urge to get up and grab Mantis from the peacekeepers and keep him with me. Knowing that I'm never going to see such a sweet, funny person as him, it breaks my heart; I don't want him to go. But I think the peacekeepers are sick to death of me as it is. So I just watch with sad eyes as the last part of my best friend disappears behind the door.

Finally, my father comes in. I know I haven't had many visitors, but that's ok, I get to spend more time with the people who matter. With the exception of my mother. And strangely enough, my mother is the first thing my father talks about.

"Your mother's crying."

I glare at him. "It's her own fault, I'm just sick of her trying to use me for glory!"

"I know Zara, I know." He says. I know that he wants to say more, but deciding that my need is better than mothers, he hugs me like everybody else has.

Again, we hug for a while, but he then pulls away, suddenly urgent, and says, "You can't insult the Capitol when your there, ok? You can't go into one of your rants about how they're stuck up, no-"

"But you called them that yourself!"

"Please, Zara," he looks at me with pleading eyes, "it won't help you, and it won't get you sponsored." I swallow, and know that he's telling the truth. Ranting won't get me favour. It won't stop the Capitol being what they are. All it will do is just make it seem easier for a Gamemaker to press a button which sends a poisonous dart through my chest. So I swallow hard, and then nod.

After a while of normal chit chat, (it was less painful to talk about random stuff.) I burst into tears and my father rocks me, and tells me that it's going to be ok. But it's not; I'm in the Hunger Games, for pities sake. I ask him if I have a chance at winning, and he kisses me on the top of the head and says yes. Strangely enough, he doesn't seem to be lying. And then the peacekeepers are coming in, and we're hugging and kissing and saying goodbye over and over, as if the other person can't hear how much we're going to miss them. And then the door slams, and I crumble onto my knees on the floor, tears streaming down my face as I re-begin shaking.

I am never going to see my family again.

ok, so my next chapter will probably be in 4-5 days. it would be sooner, but I'm completely swamped with homework. Still, please review and share with your friends, love to hear what you think of it, even if its critism. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter, i won't tell you much about the next chapter, but I can say that a certain hottie from district 4 is about to make an apperance ;)

Love Lucy