Dance on a Narrow Ledge

by nubianamy

"This one time, at music camp...?" Finn, Kurt, and Mike are roommates at B-W. Mike has questions, Finn has feelings, and Kurt takes care of it. What happens at music camp stays at music camp, or does it? Set in a future Donutverse, summer before senior year. Art by Emilywritescrap. Polyamory, Dom/sub, discipline, mild dubcon. Cowritten with knittycat99 for the Kurt-OT3 Big Bang.

4. July 2011, Week Two

Chapter Four: July 2011, Week Two

Kurt flopped onto his bed with hardly a thought to the fact that he was still in his workout pants and tank top, or that he was sweaty. He'd dropped his bag on the floor at his feet, and he didn't even have enough energy to get his legs all the way onto the bed. He half-lifted his head and caught Mike's eye. "I'm so tired," Kurt whispered.

"I know," Mike groaned. "And I hurt."

"I think I might hate Toby right now, for making me think I could do this." Kurt shook his head, even though Mike couldn't see him.

"You? He's got me practicing that stupid variation. He thinks I should do it in the honors recital." Mike's voice was soft, but Kurt could hear the panic behind his words.

"What variation?"

Mike sighed. "For my college audition."

"Oh. I didn't realize . . ."

Mike sat up in a rush. "I don't know if I'm actually going to go through with it. I don't think I'm good enough, and my dad would never pay for college if I majored in dance."

Kurt shook his head fondly, recognizing the insecurity in Mike's words, and put a hand on his shoulder. "You're a fantastic dancer, Mike. I know it, even if you don't. And so does Toby." He gave him a gentle squeeze, eliciting a groan. "Are you sore here?"

Mike nodded, wincing. "Partnering class. Sucks."

Kurt squeezed again, and Mike let out another vaguely obscene noise. They were only a little distracted by the door opening and Finn ducking in, smiling at them both, looking entirely too chipper for the end of a day. "Hey, guys. Jeez, you look as beat as I feel."

Kurt glared at him. "You get to make zero comments about being tired, until you've spent as much time dancing as we have. Or until you rub my calves until they stop hurting." He paused, glancing speculatively at Mike. "Better yet, rub Mike's."

"I'm o-okay," Mike assured him hastily, pulling away from Kurt's hands.

Finn dropped to the floor and took one of Mike's legs in his hands. "Nah, man, let me. I'm really good at this."

"He is," Kurt nodded enthusiastically, and shifted so Mike could lean against him.

"God," Mike groaned, relaxing under the pressure of Finn's thumbs. Kurt knew exactly how good that felt, Finn's big, capable hands working his muscles, and he sighed in sympathetic response, placing a casual kiss on Mike's neck right next to the spot where he'd squeezed. It was indicative of just how relaxed Mike was becoming that he didn't tense up again at Kurt's touch.

"You'll be jell-o in no time," Kurt said, running a hand down Mike's arm and letting it settle gently over the back of his hand.

Finn finished one leg, and was just reaching for the other when a tiny ball of energy barrelled through their half-open door. "Finn!" She lifted one hand, which was wrapped around the neck of a bottle of something surely alcoholic, and waggled it at him in an enticing manner. "This is your room, right? 305."

"Delia," Finn sighed, and he waved at her weakly.

"You have to come play with us! We never see you outside of class. You can't hide away all summer."

Kurt eyed her warily. She was wearing yoga pants and a sports bra, and her red hair was tufting out of two braids down her back. I bet she's got crazy curls, he thought, and moved his hand to rest a little possessively on Finn's shoulder.

"Who's your friend?" Kurt dropped his voice, so Delia couldn't hear.

"Oh!" Finn shrugged Kurt's hand off, and nodded. "Right. Delia, this is Kurt, and Mike. Guys, this is Delia. She's in my acting class, and in girls' chorus."

Delia glanced at Kurt, then at Mike, but neither one stuck, and her gaze slid right back to Finn. "Hey," she said vaguely. "Finn, you have to come down to our room. Joanie has a blender and we're making margaritas, and we're going to play drinking games."

Kurt watched Finn trying valiantly to resist laughing. He knew exactly what Finn was thinking. "And you don't have to be the designated driver this time," Kurt added sweetly. Finn shot him an amused glance.

"Yeah, none of us do," he said, rising to his feet. He held out one hand to Mike and the other to Kurt. Now his smile was inviting. "C'mon. It'll be... fun."

Kurt shook his head. "I don't know, Finn. I told you about what happened with April Rhodes."

Finn nodded, oddly serious. "Poor E- um, Miss P. Her shoes were never the same."

"Oh," Delia turned her smile on Kurt. "Is April your girlfriend?"

Mike choked, and Finn looked scandalized. Kurt just gave Delia an incredulous look. "Where are you from?"

"Canton," Delia shrugged. "Why?"

"Oh, my god," Kurt rolled his eyes. "I'm gay."

Delia blinked at him a few times. "Oh. Okay. I'll grab Heath and Jamie on the way. They're gay, too," she said in a stage whisper. "And I think they're single."

She raced out the door, and Kurt backed carefully out of the room after her, his eyes fixed on Finn. "I hate you and your girlfriends. Hate. You."

"She thinks you're single," Mike said, trailing the both of them into the hall. He glanced at Finn. "And she thinks you're straight."

"Yeah, well," Finn said, with a rueful grin. "I don't really have to work too hard to stay in the closet. But I thought I was doing a pretty good job of trying to be out, this week."

Kurt smirked. "Well, after tonight, I bet we'll fix that."

"What do you mean?" Mike asked. Finn looked as blank as Mike did.

Now Kurt stared at both of them. "Have you guys never played drinking games?"

"You have?" Finn sounded surprised.

"Please, Finn. You've been to Dalton; you know how much they drink. And you boys are in for an education." He stretched out the word, discretely pronouncing all four syllables.

"So is Delia, I think." Finn smiled and rubbed his hands together. "I can't wait to see this!"

Delia's room was already full by the time they got there, so Kurt ended up sitting on the floor at Finn's feet. Mike leaned uncomfortably against the wall next to the dresser. An African-American girl who had to be Delia's roommate Joanie pressed Dixie cups of sweet-tart liquid into their hands. Kurt liked it far too much to admit aloud. Mike wrinkled his nose at the smell, but he hung on to his cup.

Delia sat down conveniently close to Finn. "So we're going to play I Never."

"How do you play?" asked Finn.

"Just make a statement. I never... and something. Anyone who's ever done that thing has to take a drink. Not a big drink," Delia cautioned. "Just a little one. These are strong."

"Okay." Finn thought, and shrugged. "I've never... uh. Jeez." He looked perplexed. "I can't think of anything I've never done."

"Really?" Delia squeaked in surprise and laid a far-too-casual hand on Finn's chest. "I'll believe it when I see it."

Joanie settled in, and nodded to the boy on her right. "You're supposed to say something you've done, anyway. Chase, why don't you get us going."

"Sure," he said, pushing a clump of hair off his forehead. "I've never . . ." he looked into his cup. "Um. I've never kissed a girl," he said, and took a sip of his drink. Kurt sipped, as did Finn and Mike and all but one of the guys. A handful of the girls also drank, but that didn't surprise Kurt at all.

Chase elbowed the girl next to him. She shrugged. "I've never kissed a guy," she said before gulping her drink. Kurt smiled at Finn, and then Mike, and they all drank together. All the girls drank, that time, and about two thirds of the boys. That did surprise Kurt, but mostly because he'd sworn for so long he was the only gay kid in all of Ohio, and he wasn't used to people being so lackadaisical about things like that.

Kurt waited, and drank through I've never had a girlfriend (even though he'd only fake-dated Brittany), and I've never had a boyfriend, and I've never been out past 3 am, and I've never been drunk. By the time it was his turn, he was feeling the pleasant buzz of alcohol in his body, and he knew his cheeks were blazing pink.

"I've never been tied up," he blurted, and the room went silent around the sound of his swallow.

"Uh... Kurt?" Finn put a hand on his shoulder, leaning forward to whisper in his ear. "Really? We're going there?"

Kurt set his drink carefully on the floor and rested his head in his hands. "I couldn't think of anything else."

Delia laughed, and Kurt thought that she sounded a lot like the bell on his old bike, the first one his dad had taught him to ride right after his mom died. "It's okay," she said with a smirk, and her eyes were sparkling as she took a drink.

"No shit," Finn said, looking impressed.

"Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it," she replied.

Finn kept his eyes on her as he drank, and she smacked his shoulder before he'd finished swallowing, fighting a grin. "Ow."

Kurt rubbed his hands over his burning cheeks, and fought the urge to run and hide.

"It's okay," Finn said, low and into his ear. "I'll make it better for you."

Kurt couldn't figure out what Finn meant, but then his voice was louder and firm. "I've never had sex with anyone over 21."

"That's not better," Kurt groaned, resting his head on Finn's knee after taking a drink. But more than half the circle drank, so he didn't feel quite so bad. He could be thankful, at least, that Finn hadn't said I've never had sex with anyone over twice my age, because although that would have absolved Kurt from the need to drink, it wouldn't have helped Finn any.

Mike looked entirely scandalized by the time it got around to him, but he managed, "I've never had sex with a girl," to which only a few of the boys drank, Mike and Finn included, as well as a few of the girls. That set off a round of follow-up questions, and Kurt was off the hook.

Until it got back around to Delia. She was looking at Finn with a focused expression. "I've never had sex with a boy," she said, and took a sip, watching him closely over the edge of her Dixie cup.

Finn gave her that half-smile that Kurt knew was guaranteed to melt anyone, boy or girl, and sipped back. Several of the girls joined them, but now the attention was back on Finn, and Kurt, and he was starting to feel a little warm. He unbuttoned the top button of his shirt.

"You really want to know?" Finn murmured. Delia inclined her head once, and waited. He took a deep, calculating breath. "Okay, then. I've never... had a threesome."

There were several incredulous giggles from the girls, but they died out quickly when both Kurt and Finn took a drink. He wished he could walk over and hold Mike's hand, because he looked like he might throw up or pass out at any moment, but he didn't want to call unwanted attention to him. Anyway, Kurt wasn't sure he could walk without embarrassing himself.

Kurt put a familiar hand on Finn's thigh, and brandished his drink into the air. "I've never had a flogger used on me." He jiggled his cup as Finn sputtered beside him. "And I'm out of margarita."

"What's a - a flogger?" Mike wondered, and he handed Kurt his half-full cup. "I think I'm through," he added with a lopsided grin. "I've run out of things I've done."

Finn took a careful drink, and blinked at Mike. "It's like, strips of suede or leather attached to a handle. For, um. You know. Discipline?"

"Uh," Mike stammered. "No. I don't know."

"It's okay," Kurt said, hoping he came across as sympathetic as he felt. "Secrets," he whispered to Mike. "We have lots, and this is one. Was one."

"Baby," Finn said, shaking his head. "Secrets are things you don't say."

"I'm not so drunk that I can't keep my mouth shut about you know who, Finn. God." Kurt tried to stand, and he felt Finn reach out to steady him. "Mine or yours."

Finn pulled Kurt down into his lap, and the room stopped spinning. "It's okay, baby, really. Just... don't talk anymore, maybe?"

Kurt closed his eyes, relaxing against Finn's reassuring warmth. "Okay," he said, and listened to the more sedate people in the room talking about smoking pot, and other drugs, until Delia's voice was trilling again. She sounded a little shaky, but maybe it was that she was just as drunk as he was.

"I've never . . ." she trailed off, and Kurt thought that maybe she was looking around the circle before she spoke. She took a breath. "I've never been spanked," she pushed out in a rush, and Kurt put his hand out blindly for his cup.

"I think you're done," Finn said into his ear.

"But I have been spanked," he whined.

"I know. And if you keep talking like that, you'll get one tonight, too. I'll drink for both of us," Finn said, holding Kurt tightly.

Delia set her own cup down on the desk with an exasperated huff. "Who are you guys?"

Kurt stood on wobbly legs, one arm around Finn's waist. "We are the kinkiest boys in all of Ohio," he said, feeling braver than he ever had. He knew he was probably making a huge mistake, but it felt kind of freeing, to have something so important in his life out there for others to see.

Half of the kids could barely look at them after that, but the other half seemed to be grudgingly impressed, and they all called a mumbled goodnight as Finn and Mike half-carried, half-dragged Kurt back to their room.

0M0

"Kurt doesn't drink much, does he?" Mike helped Finn settle Kurt into his bed, and he waited while Finn pulled the covers up over Kurt. He'd given him a glass of water and two caplets already. Kurt made a mumbling noise, and accepted Finn's gentle kiss before wrinkling his brow and rolling over.

Finn shook his head. "Nah. None of us do, really. I guess Puck likes a beer every now and then. And Blaine... well, I guess at Dalton, there was a lot of alcohol, but..." He got a funny smile on his face. "He doesn't drink around us. Around me."

Finn seemed to hesitate. Mike thought about dropping it, but he'd had enough of that margarita to make him feel a little brave. He looked down at Kurt, already asleep, and grazed the edge of the blanket with his fingers. "What?"

Finn's smile grew. "I haven't told anybody about this. Not Kurt, not Puck, nobody. I wasn't going to... but if you can keep a secret?"

Mike nodded, and his breath caught as Finn touched his knee.

"Blaine's coming to McKinley next year," he whispered, his eyes shining. "He's coming back to Lima."

"Oh," Mike said, in an equally soft whisper. "I didn't know he was from Lima."

"It's a really long story," Finn said, hoarse, with a little tremble in his voice. "And it's his story, really, and nothing I should be talking about when I'm drunk anyway." He sighed heavily. "This was a really long year, and I'm so excited that he's coming home, I just-"

Mike cut him off suddenly, moved by the emotion in Finn's voice and his face, or a little too much to drink, or the sheer absurdity of the evening. Or all of it really. He leaned in fast, before he lost his nerve, and kissed Finn, soft and sloppy.

Finn exclaimed quietly into his mouth, his eyes wide, but he recovered quickly - for someone who'd had as much to drink as he had, he was remarkably steady - and met Mike with equal intensity. His hand came up and brushed through Mike's hair, fingers cupping the back of his head. Mike remembered the feeling of Finn's thumbs kneading his calves, and was caught by a rush of overwhelming sensation. He wasn't even sure where it began, but it definitely involved their lips, and tongues, and the press of Finn's hand, pulling him closer. Mike gasped, jerking back, his mind reeling with the images of Finn and Kurt and the mysterious flogger.

They stared at each other over Kurt's sleeping form, both of them breathing heavily. Finn licked his lips. "Is it - too much?"

Mike closed his eyes for a moment as he tried to figure out if the pounding in his head was the alcohol or the kissing, and he decided maybe it was a little of both. "Um," he licked at his lip, "maybe? But I like it."

Finn nodded, and he waited another few heartbeats before reaching out and grasping Mike's hand. "I do, too. Maybe... maybe a little too much." Mike felt a tremor as Finn's gaze traveled over his chest, down his stomach, to his legs. He wondered if Finn could tell just how embarrassingly turned on he was, and he squirmed a little at the thought. "You're - well, fuck, man, you're hot."

Before Mike could even think how to respond to that, Finn was kissing him again, moving into his space, leaning in and pressing him awkwardly against the frame of Kurt's bed. Kurt made another gentle noise, rolling to the side. Mike thought he heard him say, "Wake me up when it gets good, Noah."

Mike felt a surge of anxiety. "Is - is this okay?" he said, looking down at Kurt's back, rising and falling gently in sleep. "He's not going to be - upset with me? Or you?"

Finn's touch on his rib cage was insistent, and very distracting. "We already talked about this," Finn assured him. "We're both fine with whatever you want. He knows how I - " Finn moved his lips to Mike's neck, but Mike could still see his blush. "How I feel about you."

"How do you, um... feel? About me?" Mike wouldn't have asked, normally, but god, he was feeling brave, and he wanted to know. To know if he was imagining things or not, or putting stock into nonexistent feelings.

"I guess I've always figured you were - well, I don't know. Out of reach. You and Tina, ever since you got together, it's been pretty clear you were really into each other." Mike shivered as he felt Finn's hot breath on his neck, laughing softly. "But I guess I have my share of people that I'm really into, too, and... that didn't stop me from thinking you were pretty awesome."

"Really? Because, god, Finn. You're so together, you know? Confident?"

Finn sighed and rested his forehead against Mike's temple, kissing his jaw. "You must not have noticed me last fall. I was a freaking mess. It got a lot better after Kurt came back from Dalton - well, maybe you saw some of that, when you and I were rehearsing our dance for Glee." He kissed him again, a little more firmly, and Mike felt the graze of teeth against his skin. "I Gotta Be Me. That was incredible. I can't believe I managed to get through that without breaking anybody else's bones."

Mike leaned into the pressure of Finn's mouth on his neck. How could teeth feel so freaking good? "You're a better dancer than you give yourself credit for. It just takes you a little longer to learn, is all. Patience," he managed to get out before he moaned at the suction of Finn's mouth on his skin.

"That feel good?" Finn moved a little higher and did it again, harder this time.

"You're gonna leave a mark," he said, trying to bat at Finn, but Finn just shook his head.

"So what?" He adjusted his body against Mike's, leaning over him, and Mike moaned again at the feel of Finn, hard and hot against his thigh.

"People. Talking. Especially after tonight."

Finn pulled back far enough to meet Mike's gaze. His eyes were dark and thick-lashed, and Mike couldn't help but remember Tina's comment about blue eyes being more attractive. Brown, Mike thought, in a haze, and let himself be caught by Finn's stare. Brown eyes are completely perfect.

"I'm not going to do anything you don't want," Finn said quietly. "If you're worried about people talking, though, I don't think it matters what we do. They'll make up stories, anyway. What we do is nobody's business but ours."

Mike thought about his talk with Tina. "What happens here stays here?"

"Yeah." Finn moved forward again, slowly, and took Mike's bottom lip between his teeth, sucking hard enough to make him squeak. "If you want that, that's cool. It's your call, man."

God, Mike could hardly think, because teeth and tongue and . . . Finn. "I think," he leaned into Finn's body and mouth, reveling in the feeling of being so close with Finn and not being scared, "that I might want that. But." He pulled away and shook his head. "We've had too much to drink tonight. Not good for decision-making."

Finn sighed, relaxing against Mike's side. "Yeah. You're totally right." He made a very conscious gesture, removing his hands from Mike, backing off. "And I'm sorry, if I made you uncomfortable or anything."

"No," Mike said, turning his feelings over and over before speaking again. "Not uncomfortable. I just want to make sure that when we do . . . do this, whatever this is, that we're all on the same page, you know?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course." Finn looked so disappointed, sitting there with his head down, staring at his hands in his lap. Then he gave Mike a grin. "When, huh? Not if?"

Mike nodded slowly. "Yeah," he said, a slow grin spreading across his face and something like tentative joy in his chest. "Yeah," he said again. "When." And it didn't feel strange, or scary, or weird to admit what he wanted. Who he wanted. Maybe that was the alcohol too, but when he saw the way Finn was looking at him with gentleness, and at Kurt's sleeping form with tenderness, he didn't think it was the alcohol at all.

It was just him.

0M0

Mike slept long and hard, and he was surprised that he felt pretty good when he finally did get up. Kurt was still curled into a ball under his blankets, and Finn was sleeping atop his covers, still in his shorts and t-shirt. Mike grinned a little, remembering the feeling of Finn's mouth and hands, and he bounced a little on his way to the bathroom.

He grabbed a bagel from the dining hall and ate it while he walked over to the dance studios. He changed, and was already in the studio stretching when Toby wandered in, eyes glazed and hands wrapped around a cup of coffee.

"Late night?" he asked, daring to smirk, and Toby just grumbled.

"Hate mornings." He stuffed his own bag under the barre next to Mike's, and looked at him crooked. "Busy night?"

"Huh?" Mike leaned forward in his straddle and touched his nose to the floor.

"Your neck, darlin'. Busy night?"

Mike patted at the side of his neck, feeling for something, and even though the skin wasn't raised, he knew. He could almost feel the pressure from Finn's mouth.

"Oh, crap. It left a mark." He kept his face down, so Toby couldn't see his blush.

"What happened? I remember my own summers here. Things got a little crazy, sometimes, once we all got into high school." Toby sunk to the floor and started his own stretching.

"I think the game is called 'I've Never'?" Mike drew his feet together into a butterfly stretch.

"Mmm." Toby nodded. "That'll get ya every time. What'd y'all drink?"

"Margaritas. But I didn't- I wasn't- um. I didn't drink... uh, as much as some people."

"Don't worry," Toby said with a wry smile. "I'm not going to report you. As long as y'all are stayin' safe and not trying to drive anywhere, I don't have a problem with a little experimental drinking. And I'm guessing Finn and Kurt lasted till the very end."

Mike giggled. "Kurt got really drunk. Finn and I had to practically carry him back to the room."

"Huh. Kurt hardly ever drinks." He looked at Mike intently. "And you're doin' okay, with some of the things I'm sure you heard?"

"Yeah," Mike said. "I mean, I think I am."

"Okay," Toby nodded. "Wanna tell me who gave you that?" He tapped a finger against the mark on Mike's neck.

"No, thank you." Mike shook his head. "At least, not right now."

Toby looked up at motion in the doorway. Their students were crowded there, eager and way too awake. Toby rose to his feet, and Mike followed. "I'm here," Toby said in a low voice as the kids moved into the room and took positions at the barre. "If you want to talk about it."

"Thanks," Mike said, and took his place at the front of the barre to lead the class in pliés.

They were attentive, the beginners, but Mike had forgotten what it was like when everything was new and you couldn't just tell someone what position to take and see them step right into it. That day, Toby had decided they needed to work on arabesques. It'll kill all of center work, he'd said to Mike as he rubbed at his eyes. I can't handle jumping today. Mike had just nodded, and headed into a corner with the youngest kids, a quartet of 8 year olds who were still a little chubby with baby fat.

One of the boys, a towhead with chunky glasses, scuffed the toe of his shoe on the floor. "Why do we have to learn ballet anyway? Boys don't do ballet."

Mike stuck a hand between the boy's shoulder blades and tried to nudge him into position. "First arabesque," he said, and pulled and tugged to arrange his arms and legs and head correctly. "And boys do do ballet. I do, and Toby does. And I play football, too."

"Really?" The boy let his leg fall to the floor.

"Yeah, really. And I think it makes me better at football. I'm faster, and I react quicker to what's happening on the field." Mike pulled a willowy African American girl up.

"Second arabesque." She'd clearly been paying attention, because she set her arms first before lifting her leg. Mike just had to tilt her chin a fraction of an inch. "Beautiful," he whispered in her ear. "You're a natural."

"Really, Mr. Mike?" Her eyes lit up and she grinned at him.

He grinned back. "Yes."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed. "Thank you. I love dancing so much!"

She was skinny, and Mike was almost afraid to hug her back because he didn't want to break her, but she pulled away and smiled again before frowning a little at him. "What happened to you?"

"What?"

She poked a finger at him. "Your neck. Did a spider bite you or something? Because my big brother got a spider bite once and it was naaaaasty."

The boy with glasses jumped back a little in horror. "There are spiders here?"

"No, no," Mike put his hands up. "No spiders. It's nothing, sweetie. I'm fine."

"Oh." The girl nodded, her face serious. "Okay. That's good. Can we dance more, now?"

The rest of class passed without issue, and once the kids were gone Mike scooted out of the studio before Toby could say anything more. Mike would see him in the afternoon for a coaching session anyway. At least the girl he worked with in his partnering class didn't say anything about it.

It was later at lunch when things started to fall apart. Mike scanned the cafeteria, but he didn't see Kurt or Finn. He could still hear the words Finn had said last night, about everything being okay, and that nothing was going to happen he didn't want, but in retrospect, it was getting harder to believe them.

In line to pick up a sandwich, he heard the girl next to him whisper something about "One of those guys from room 305... really weird." She looked away when Mike glanced at her, and she didn't smile. He took a dish of green beans with a sense of unease.

After that, every laugh he heard sounded like an affront, and he found himself glaring at two guys who walked past, snickering. He covered the offending spot on his neck, feeling the burn on his cheeks. For a minute, he was angry at Finn for doing this to him, for making him a target. But then he felt ashamed of that feeling. Finn hadn't done anything he didn't want. Had he?

And where were Finn and Kurt? Maybe they were back at the room. Maybe Finn was telling Kurt all about what had happened, and Kurt was furious. Kurt, mad at him - even the thought was more than he could handle. Or, worse, maybe Finn had realized how stupid the whole thing had been, how childish Mike's behavior had been. Maybe he and Kurt were laughing about it right now.

He settled into an empty seat at the end of one of the long tables that ran down the center of the room and ate his lunch in silence, hurried like he used to back in freshman year when he didn't know anybody but the other honors kids and the other guys on the JV squad.

All the eyes on him were making him crazy. He had to get out of there.

He dumped his tray, abandoning his sandwich half-eaten, and thought about taking a walk to clear his head, but his feet took him back to the dance studios.

Figures, he thought. I've been hanging around Toby too much. He's always telling me that the discipline of ballet will help me.

He was early for their session, but he changed and settled in at the barre anyway, working through pliés and tendus and degages. He was just starting rond de jambes when he heard the thunk of Toby's dance bag hitting the floor. He didn't turn to look, just kept his eyes focused on the bare wall in front of him.

"You're early," Toby said, and Mike felt him move into the space behind him. "And you're holding too much tension in your shoulders. Relax." He touched Mike's shoulder, and ran a fingertip down the length of his arm to his fingers. "Wiggle your fingers. They're tense too."

Mike tried, and when he turned to work on his left side he thought he was doing better. But Toby stopped him halfway through. "C'mere," he said, pulling Mike to sit on the floor. "What's goin' on?"

"Nothing," Mike mumbled, his eyes on his feet.

"I missed you in the dining hall."

"Wasn't hungry," Mike said, and felt bad for being so short with Toby. But he needed to be anywhere but in his head, in his life right then, and the only way he knew how to get that feeling was by dancing.

Toby shrugged at him. "You don't eat, you don't dance. Did you know, at the Royal Ballet School, that's the rule? The kids have to eat a certain amount at every meal or they don't get to dance."

Mike shrugged. "No. But I'm not a kid. I can take care of myself."

"Hey," Toby said, nudging Mike with his shoulder. "You're not acting like yourself. Can't I be concerned? I'd like to think we're friends."

Mike shook his head. He felt miserable. "I don't know what to say."

"How about the truth. You're not okay, are you?" Toby's eyes were full of concern.

Mike sighed, and crossed his arms over his knees. "Not really?"

"Does it have anything to do with that?" Toby nodded at the hickey, which Mike had finally seen in the mirror in the locker room, dark purple under his skin.

Anything? "Try everything," Mike groaned. "God. I'm so stupid. I don't know what I'm thinking."

Toby nodded at him. "It happens like that, sometimes. Which one?"

"Which one what?" Mike wasn't sure what Toby was asking him.

He raised one eyebrow. "Finn or Kurt?"

Mike buried his head in his arms. "How do you know? Do I have a sign on me or something? Everyone in the dining hall was talking about us like we're freaks or something, and neither one of them showed up to lunch, and I'm so stupid for thinking that there's anything okay about any of this."

Toby put a gentle hand on Mike's arm. "Hey. Slow down. Deep breath. Just, talk to me, okay? When did this start?"

Mike turned his head to the side, looking up at Toby, barely able to meet his gaze. "In May. I kissed Finn, in the bathroom at school, the day Kurt and I got our letters."

"But?" Toby nodded at him to go on.

"But what?"

"Sugar, this didn't start in the spring. It never goes like that. When did it really start?"

Mike thought back, to the night over a year ago when Puck had come home. When Tina had sat with him in Mercedes' living room as they watched Finn, Kurt, and Puck together in the falling snow. "Christmas, sophomore year. I wasn't supposed to see, nobody was, but they were just there, together, and it was- it was beautiful. I couldn't stop... watching."

Toby seemed to know exactly what he meant. He nodded soberly. "Finn, Kurt, and Puck?"

Mike nodded back. "They're... they're kind of amazing, you know? Finn . . . he's so confident, and I wish I could be that way. And Kurt, god. He just keeps fighting, you know? I mean, he could have given up so many times, but he just gets up and keeps going, and he's so strong. I can't even stand up to my father. I can't imagine having to deal with what Kurt does every single day."

Toby took a deep breath and let it out, gazing at the wall. He seemed to make a decision. "It ain't easy, bein' in the world when you've got... a sign on you, you said? Like Kurt. Ain't nobody going to miss the gay in that boy." He nodded at Mike. "Or in me."

Mike swallowed. "How do you get through? I don't . . . I've never . . . I mean, yeah, sometimes I take shit for being in Glee, for being Asian, for dancing. But if-" he couldn't quite make himself say the words he'd been turning over for the last week, if I'm not straight. He just fell silent. He wasn't ready to go there yet.

Toby gave him a half-smile. "You know, you might want to talk to Will. Mr. Schue to you. He's gone through some of this in the past, too. You might be able to relate to his perspective. When we were... together, for years and years, he struggled all the time to define himself, to figure out a label that fit for him. It wasn't until last summer that he first said the words I'm gay to me. And even that wasn't quite right, was it?"

Mike thought about the rumblings around school, the gossip he tried to stay away from, that Miss P had gotten a divorce from the dentist, and that she and Mr. Schue were together now. "I guess not. Is it... is it okay not to know?"

Toby laughed gently. "Of course. That's the Q in LGBTQ, after all. Questioning. And you can do it for however long it takes you to figure it out. And whatever you decide, that's okay."

"Tina," Mike said, fiddling with the elastic on his shoe. "She said it was okay, for me to try to figure things out. And she said she didn't mind, if I did it with our friends. She knows everything, that it's... that there's... both of them."

"That's . . . amazing, really," Toby said, and when Mike looked at him his face was light and open. "You kids. You're all so strong, and you know what you want, and you just go out there and get it."

Mike felt the frustration well up inside him, and flow out in a rush of angry words. "I don't know what I want, though. That's the problem."

"But you're not afraid to try, to figure it out, even if it's hard and scary and different." Toby leaned close, his shoulder against Mike's. "I wish I could do that. Just decide what and who I want and go for it." His eyes closed. Mike could see the pain on his face, just below the surface.

"You and Mr. Schue," Mike said, watching Toby's body language shift, and immediately he was sorry he'd said anything. "Uh..."

"Hey, it's the way it is." Toby made a useless gesture, his mouth tight. "It's always been that way, with me and Will. B-W was our place, did you know that? Where we met, in fourth grade. He was my best friend, at a time when there weren't too many good things in my life."

"You miss him," Mike said, because the expression on Toby's face was clearly one of longing.

"Like breathin'," Toby agreed. "But he made his choice. Again. And I've got to live with that. I made plenty of my own mistakes, too." He paused, then added, sounding somewhat forced, "Not that he's makin' a mistake. Emma's a nice girl."

"You just don't think he's making the right choice." Mike wondered what it felt like, to love someone so long and so much, and have them choose somebody else.

Toby sighed. "It's complicated. It's not that I think he's makin' the wrong choice. I just don't think he trusts himself to make the right choice, because he still always wants to please everybody else."

"What about you?" Mike had never really talked with an adult like this before, and he felt kind of honored that Toby was sharing with him.

"I gave up on pleasin' others a long time ago. I was never enough, never the right kind of boy for the people in my town, or for my family, even when I was small." Toby paused, then added, "My daddy, he let me leave home when I was fourteen, and it was the best thing he could have done. Livin' on my own, doin' what I had to to get by: that was how it was for me, after that. But things are a lot easier than they used to be." He smiled. "I'm just me, now."

"Whoa." Mike couldn't even begin to imagine what that had been like for Toby. "That . . I don't even know what to say."

"You don't have to," Toby said. "It's a part of me. It doesn't hurt, now. It just is, just like me bein' a teacher or a dancer, or queer. It's like anything in your life, Mike. It shapes you, but it doesn't define all of you. You can be whoever you want, whoever you are, and you'll be okay." Toby wrapped his arms around Mike and gave him a squeeze. "You have people who love you and want to help, okay?"

His voice puffed into Mike's hair and tickled at his neck, and Mike laughed at the sensation. Toby wasn't like a teacher, and he wasn't like a friend, and he wasn't like a father. He was - what he said. I'm just me, now.

"Okay," he nodded, looking into Toby's eyes. "Thank you."

Toby smiled. "You're always welcome. You should go get something to eat, and go talk to those boys of yours. It'll be okay."

0M0

There weren't too many people left in the dining hall when Mike got there, just some kids he didn't know with photocopied scripts in front of them sharing two plates of french fries, and a trio of girls from his partnering class picking at salads. He slid into line behind a boy from his tap class, and tried to ignore the girls staring an uncomfortable hole into his back. He was just reaching for a tray when one of them said in a loud enough voice for him to hear her whisper to her friends.

"He's Mr. Grey's pet. It's only his first year, and he gets to TA, and I hear he hasn't ever taken real lessons."

He didn't need to look to know the others were agreeing with her.

"It's not fair," another said, just as loud. "He should have to put in his time, just like the rest of us."

Mike tried to turn his ears off, to stop hearing, but he couldn't. He was on edge as he took a plate with sliced turkey, potatoes, and gravy. He added an apple and a carton of milk to his tray, and moved to an empty table as far away from the ballet princesses as he could get.

He was halfway through his turkey when a larger crowd of kids entered the room and stopped in their tracks. "Hey, you room with those guys, right? The ones from the party in Joanie and Delia's room?"

Mike looked up, fork halfway to his mouth. "Yeah."

"Were you a fag before you got here, or did they turn you?" The one at the front of the group sneered at him, hate boiling in his eyes. Mike felt his stomach flip over, and he grabbed his tray and made a beeline for the dish window, but the boy wasn't done yet.

"Oh, look, we upset the baby gay," he said, and the others laughed.

Mike clenched his jaw against the echoing of the words through the nearly empty dining hall. Everyone is staring, he thought. Everyone knows now.

He couldn't get out of there fast enough.

0M0

Mike barely held onto his calm as he made the long, arduous trip from the lobby up to the third floor. He ignored the friendly looks from the other boys and girls on his floor and just rushed down the hall, around the corner and fumbled with his key to get through the door, just to get through, to be safe where nobody could see him.

And then he was on the other side, and Finn was staring at him, and Kurt reached out and took him in his arms before he could say one word.

"Sweetheart," he murmured, and Mike burst into tears.

"I can't," he cried, pushing at Kurt's arms, "I can't do this."

But Kurt was strong, and he wasn't letting go, not for anything. He pulled Mike closer and held him tight. Mike felt the warm, solid presence of Finn behind him, holding him from the other side. He didn't think he'd ever felt so safe and so freaked out at the same time.

"What can't you do?" Kurt said, his voice low and soothing. "Because right now, you don't have to do anything. Just let us take care of you."

"I can't do that," he protested, but even as he said it, he could feel himself relaxing into their embrace, into Kurt's words, and the feeling of the both of them holding on, so he could let go. He thought he'd never had that experience before.

But then he thought of Tina, the way she made everything okay, even the feelings he was so scared to say out loud. She does this for me, he realized, and suddenly he could breathe a little more easily. He let Kurt kiss his cheek, let Finn squeeze his shoulders.

"You can," Kurt said, and the certain way he spoke made Mike feel like maybe he really could, if only Kurt would keep talking to him that way. He touched Mike's face, cupped his hand under his chin. "What happened?"

"You -" Mike shook his head, ducking away from Kurt's eyes. "What makes you think anything -"

"Hey," Finn interrupted, leaning in to rub his own broad, scratchy cheek against his. "Mike. It's okay. Whatever it is, it's okay. Just tell us."

Mike took a long, shuddery breath, trying to calm the tears that continued to well up. "I went looking for you," he said, and he could hear just how awful he sounded, how ridiculous, but he pressed on. "After last night, I needed - and then today I couldn't find you, and the kids in the dining hall, they were talking about us, about my neck, and..."

He cut off with a strangled curse, but Kurt took his shoulders and held them tightly, meeting his gaze. "I know this has got to be so scary, but it's all right. You're doing so well. You can get through this."

"I'm not like you, Kurt," said Mike, looking away. "I can't do this. I can't be - I can't be this, for everybody to see. It's too much."

"You think everybody can see?" Finn sounded unhappy, and Mike closed his eyes against the sensation. The last thing he wanted was to disappoint someone else, especially Finn.

"It seemed like it today," he admitted. "I went into class and it was - like it was printed in big letters right on my shirt."

"What was it, MIke?" Kurt asked. He was so calm, so quiet, that Mike was able to take a moment and breathe. "What was it they could see?"

"All of it," he whispered. "What we did. What I want. Who... who I am. All of it."

Kurt gave him a slow nod. "You think they can see all of that? What's changed?"

"Nothing. Everything." Mike wanted to ask Finn to let go, to move away, but at the same time he was so grateful for the strength of him, holding him, and he rested back against his body. Finn tugged him around until they were facing each other, and then wrapped him up in the biggest, tightest hug he'd ever had. He felt the breath forced out of his lungs with the pressure of Finn's body, compressing him down, until all he could do was let himself dangle there.

"God, Finn," he gasped, "that feels... so good."

"Yeah," Finn said, tenderly. "Does. You, too. Thanks for letting me do it."

Mike had to laugh, though he could barely make any noise at all. "Letting you. That's my problem, isn't it? All I want to do is let you." It was a bold admission, but in Finn's arms, in the quiet of their room, it wasn't so frightening. He felt Finn let his body go, and he staggered a little, falling back against Kurt, still waiting there. The shame flooded back at his touch - and the desire. "Both of you."

Kurt wrapped his arms around Mike from behind. "You're sure, sweetheart?"

Mike shivered at the endearment. "Y-yes," he let out, and even though he was scared he felt a little lighter at the admission.

Finn moved in, putting his arms around them both, Kurt on the outside, Mike in Kurt's embrace. It was like it had been yesterday, the fear held at bay by the presence of these two boys, patiently waiting for him to be ready, encouraging him to just let it go, to be himself. He shook his head in wonder.

"You don't want me to be anything other than what I am," he said. "That's freaking amazing."

Finn's smile was broad and pleased. "Puck taught me that," he said. "And a few other people, too. Including this one." He leaned over and kissed Kurt, not just a quick touch of lips, but deep and full, their bodies yearning toward one another. Mike could feel the immediate tension in Kurt's body at the contact from Finn, the two of them feeding off one another, driving each other to greater intensity - and the energy passing through them, through him, was almost more than he could handle. He whimpered.

"I love you," Kurt said, smiling up at Finn. The declaration was so calm, so ordinary, and so beautiful, that Mike smiled, too. Finn touched his cheek with one hand. Then he turned to Mike.

"Sorry I wasn't around today," Finn said, looking truly sorrowful. "All the girls in my drama class, they needed a scene partner, and we just don't have enough guys, you know? I had to stick around to fill in over lunch, and by the time I got there, I guess you were gone? I went looking for Toby, but he said you'd gone to partnering class."

"It's okay," said Mike automatically, and even though it really hadn't been at the time, he wasn't upset now. "I just thought you were... that you were mad at me. That I'd done something wrong."

Kurt tightened his arms around Mike. "Don't."

"Don't what?" Mike wasn't following.

"Don't say things are okay when they're not. Part of what we do, Finn and I and the others, is honesty all the time. No hiding. If we're going to do this, we need you to be that way with us. Do you understand?"

Mike nodded, feeling like he wasn't sure how to respond to Kurt when he got like this. It was a little scary.

Kurt kissed his neck. "Good. And you didn't do anything wrong. You hear me? You're just fine, sweetheart." Kurt's fingers were in Mike's hair, and Mike wasn't sure, but he thought he heard Kurt whisper such a good boy. The echo of it made him shiver, but he didn't know why.

"I'm really sorry about all those assholes in the cafeteria," Finn said. "I'm totally going to go all pissed off on them tomorrow. But this, what we're doing here... this is up to you. We don't have to do anything at all."

Mike heard his words, heard Finn giving him the freedom to choose - and also felt Finn's erection pressing into his hip, not requiring anything of him, but clearly communicating exactly what Finn wanted from him. He took a deep breath, and pushed back, making Finn gasp, and Kurt let out a quiet sound, like ohhh.

"I want to," Mike said. "I want to do - anything. I mean... I don't know what I mean."

"It's okay," Kurt said, soft and soothing. "We're in no hurry. We'll go as slow as you want."

"Kissing," Mike sighed into the gentle pressure of Kurt's mouth on his jaw. "I like the kissing. Kissing is good."

"You're right," Finn said, capturing Mike's mouth in a firm kiss before pulling slightly away and running a finger at the hem of Mike's t-shirt. "Kissing is good. But what about this?" His hand was warm and flat against Mike's stomach, and Mike wanted to lean into the touch, but nothing about this was familiar, and he didn't know what was okay.

"Take your shirt off," Kurt urged. He ran a hand along Finn's chest. "You, too."

Finn's smile was amused. "Yes, sir," he said, and Kurt smiled back, his cheeks flushing. He waited until Finn had shed his t-shirt, then unbuttoned his own. Mike wasn't sure he'd ever seen Kurt without his shirt on, not even at Santana's pool party, where Kurt had reclined on the deck in shorts, shirt and sunglasses, looking perfect and remote. That wasn't how he was behaving now, though. It was like Kurt was trying to take care of him.

"What's that about, anyway?" Mike shook his head in confusion. "I don't understand."

"Shhh," Kurt whispered into his ear. "Not now, sweetheart. You don't need to worry about that." His hands slid up and down Mike's back, and the touch of his skin felt so good, and Mike let the trail of his question slip away because he couldn't think with Kurt behind him and Finn in front of him, both of them so forward with roaming hands and the heat and wetness of their mouths on him.

"God," Finn muttered, one hand resting on his thigh, rubbing it idly. "The two of you together. Talk about eye candy."

Mike was embarrassed into speechlessness, but Kurt smiled back, teasing, his head resting on Mike's. "Yeah, I know you like to watch. And I love it when you do."

Finn smiled hesitantly at Mike. "Yeah, I do, but Mike, I don't want you to feel weird about that. I mean... I love watching you on stage, I guess you know that... but this isn't like that. You're not performing, here."

"No," Kurt agreed, kissing Mike's neck. "I agree; it's not about that. Nobody has to pretend. But that doesn't mean you can't like what you see." He turned Mike's head gently to face his, and kissed him, gently at first, then more thoroughly. Mike trembled as he heard Finn's groan of approval. "And I think Mike likes being watched too. Don't you, sweetheart?" His lips brushed Mike's ear, and he tried not to flinch away from Kurt's hand on his behind.

"I- I guess so," Mike said, and a little shiver coursed through him at the idea of being watched. "I never thought about it before."

But he was thinking about it now. Finn was doing that thing again, where he was looking at him all over, in a way that guys definitely weren't allowed to do in the locker room or during a game or even in Glee. He wasn't shying away from staring at certain parts of him, either, which made Mike feel both self-conscious and ridiculously turned on. He wasn't sure what to do with it - but Kurt continued kissing along his neck and stroking his bare chest, and eventually he was tingling so much that he stopped caring.

"You're beautiful," Kurt told him, and Mike chuckled nervously.

"I think that's you, Kurt," he said. "Both you guys... I think you've got beautiful covered."

"No," Finn said, his voice low. "You're definitely beautiful, Mike." Kurt let out a low moan, and Mike felt Kurt's hands slow, and then Kurt was - oh - pinching his nipples, and he'd never understood why Tina liked it when he did that, but god. His knees buckled slightly, and Kurt laughed quietly in his ear, easing them down onto the bed, with Mike essentially sitting in his lap and Kurt's legs around him. Kurt's fingers brushed his nipples again.

"You like that, sweetheart?"

"Y-yeah," Mike sighed. "It's good."

Finn was looking positively hungry, and he leaned in, kneeling on the bed in front of Mike and Kurt, kissing him and making noises of wanting. Mike felt the tension escalate, until Kurt's hands skated down his stomach and against the hem of his shorts. He sat up in a hurry, scrambling out of Kurt's lap.

"I - wait," he said, trying not to panic. Immediately Kurt's hands were back on his shoulders, pressing hard, and he felt the anxiety subside.

"You can stop any time," Kurt said steadily. "We're not going to do anything you don't want."

Mike shook his head, running a hand through his hair. "That's my problem," he said to Finn, who was still kneeling there before him, looking concerned. "I want - a lot of things. And I just don't know how to handle that."

"Talk to us," Kurt said. Finn moved beside Kurt on the bed, looping his arms loosely around his waist, watching Mike. "Honesty, remember?"

Mike leaned back on his hands. "I just- I don't know what it's like... guys together. I mean," he felt a blush creep hot up his neck, "I've heard, but I don't know."

"Are you scared?" Kurt looked at him with concern.

"Not really? I mean, I guess I'm a little scared, because it's new. It's all new, really. Tina and I, we've only . . . done it just a few times. And this is kind of like that, but nothing like that at all." Mike closed his eyes and let his head fall back against Kurt's chest. He didn't feel like he was making any sense at all.

"And I bet some of the things you've heard guys do - it might not sound so good. Like, maybe you wouldn't want to do some of it." Finn raised his eyebrows. "I've been there, man. It took me a little while, and a bunch of times saying no, not yet, before I tried a lot of stuff. Sometimes you're just not ready yet, and that's cool."

Kurt gazed at Mike thoughtfully. "We can stop, if you want. But I get the idea you don't want to."

Mike thought for a minute before speaking again. "I don't want to stop, but I don't know if I'm ready to actually do anything."

He watched Finn and Kurt exchange a look, and then Kurt was holding his hands. "Would you . . . would you like to watch? Me and Finn?"

"Uh," Finn said, and Mike was fascinated to see Finn turn a particularly vibrant shade of purple. "Kurt... shouldn't we talk about -"

"No." Kurt patted Finn on the knee. "You'll be fine. This is Mike's call, not yours."

"Um." Mike's mind was positively reeling and he knew he had to focus, had to make some kind of a decision.

Kurt seemed to take his silence as assent, and he smiled. His hand ran up the length of Finn's thigh, into the crease between them, and Mike forced himself not to look away. It was clear the stories he'd heard Rachel tell Tina about Finn were at least somewhat true, at least the part about how big he was.

Finn shuddered, and his hips twisted. "Kurt," he said again, but he wasn't protesting this time.

"Relax," Kurt soothed. He lifted himself up to kneel over Finn's thighs, stroking down his bare chest with both hands. Mike watched him do that nipple thing, and Finn seemed to like it just as much as he had. "Nothing's wrong here. Just show him how much you love this. And touch me."

Mike felt himself leaning in a little closer as Kurt ground his hips against Finn's. One of Finn's hands reached out to brush against Mike's fingers. Mike took it, letting Finn squeeze them hard, then intertwine their fingers and rest their hands against the bed. Finn's other hand went to Kurt's stomach, his palm pressing flat and hard against the bulge in his shorts. Kurt sighed in appreciation. Mike kept his empty hand safely in a fist on his chest, but he watched with round eyes as Finn managed to unbutton Kurt's shorts with one hand. He noted, as impartially as he could, that Kurt wasn't doing too bad in the size department, himself.

"Kiss me," Kurt demanded, pulling Finn's face up to meet his. Finn didn't let go of Mike's hand. Mike could feel the tension in Finn's muscles, his tendons straining against his body's desire. Kurt left Finn's mouth to work his way down his chest, using his tongue to tease him every step of the way. By the time he reached Finn's navel, Finn was gasping and thrusting up.

"Kurt," Finn said, gazing down at him and stroking a hand through his hair. "You don't have to -"

"Yes, I do," Kurt insisted. "Now hush. This is my show, and I'm in charge." He unbuttoned Finn's shorts and tugged the zipper down, working them off his legs with brisk efficiency. His boxers went equally quickly.

Now Mike couldn't look away. Kurt's pale, slim hands pressed on the inside of Finn's thighs, nudging him open, and Finn squeezed Mike's hand again as Kurt's wrapped around his erect cock.

"God," Finn said, and instead of closing his eyes, he gazed right at Mike, his desire evident on his face. "You, watching this... it's..."

"I - I can go," Mike murmured, but he didn't mean it. He didn't think he could move at all.

"No," Finn shook his head, and laughed. His hand rested gently on Kurt's head, but Kurt was clearly setting his own pace. "It's the hottest thing ever, man."

"You sure?" Mike could barely even get in a full breath, but he managed to ask anyway.

"We're sure," Kurt said, firm and full of desire. He nodded at Mike from his position between Finn's legs. "Are you?"

"Y-yes," Mike answered, and his heart was pounding. He watched with wide eyes as Kurt focused his attention on Finn's cock, teasing the tip with his tongue.

"C'mere," Finn said softly, tugging their entwined hands close to his chest. Mike moved in, tucking against Finn's body, and obliged with a kiss. With every move Kurt made with his mouth, Finn grew more tense, his breathing more erratic, but he didn't stop kissing Mike. He moaned, bucking his hips into Kurt's mouth, and Mike heard Kurt chuckle.

"God," Finn muttered, thrusting again. Kurt took it, not missing a beat, and Mike heard himself let out a squeak as his hands splayed Finn's thighs open wider, brushing fingers against the obviously sensitive flesh below. "God, Kurt, that feels so fucking good."

Finn did seem to be having a great time, and Mike gripped his hand tighter as he felt his own arousal press uncomfortably against the zipper of his shorts. He matched Finn's accelerated breathing, and when Finn lifted off the bed, calling Kurt's name, he nearly lost it without one touch. But he managed to watch the whole thing happen - god, I just saw a guy get a blowjob - and still maintain some control.

Kurt clearly knew what he was doing, because there wasn't any choking or mess or anything, and the times that he'd tried that with Tina, it had been only mildly successful. Mike tried not to feel envious, watching Kurt wipe his mouth with a smug smile.

"Was that good?" he asked, his voice husky with desire. Mike could see Kurt was waiting on his own satisfaction from the bulge in his half-unzipped shorts, but Kurt wasn't making any motion to touch himself, other than to adjust. Maybe he was going to ask Finn to reciprocate. The idea was even hotter than the activities Mike had just witnessed, and he gasped as the hand he was holding with Finn went to touch his leg.

"Incredible," Finn agreed, but he was still looking at Mike. "You're doing all right?"

"Uh-huh," Mike said, and swallowed hard. He was aching, but he didn't want to be in the way and he wasn't sure if he should touch himself or not.

Then he felt Kurt's hand on his calf, and he made another noise, one that sounded suspiciously like Yes. Kurt smiled broadly at him. Then he moved very deliberately to kneel before Mike on the edge of the bed.

"You enjoyed that," he said, and Mike nodded, mute. Kurt nodded back, moving his hand up Mike's leg to rest at his knee with great intention. "But you're not done yet, obviously. Perhaps you'd like the same?"

"Please," Mike said, before he could even think about whether he really wanted that or not. Finn sighed in contentment at Mike's response, and he put his hand on Mike's thigh to bend it, lifting it so that his knee rested on Finn's bare leg.

"Have you ever done this, sweetheart?" Kurt let his fingers hover at the button on Mike's shorts, and Mike kept himself from thrusting forward, because he was pretty sure it wasn't going to take much, and he didn't want to finish before things even got started.

"Tina and I, um." He bit his bottom lip as Kurt's fingers crooked inside his waistband, working the button and zipper with practiced ease. "We tried, but we weren't very good at it."

"Mm," Kurt affirmed with a little hum. "Yes. It does take practice." He smiled up at Finn. "Luckily, I've had plenty." His hands were on Mike's waist, tugging at his shorts and underwear. Mike felt a little embarrassed by the way his erection tented out his boxers, but there wasn't anything but anticipation on Kurt's face.

"Now I get to watch," Finn sighed, resting his hand on Mike's tense abdomen. He didn't move his hand any lower, but the touch made Mike's cock twitch anyway. Finn smiled at the sight, and he leaned in to give him a kiss. "Would it totally freak you out to hear I had a dream about this last night?"

"About - Kurt, doing this?" Mike was startled, and Kurt took advantage of his distraction to lick a long, wet path from the base of his cock to the tip. Mike thrust forward at the stimulation, crying out, and Finn echoed his sound with approval.

Kurt settled an oddly calming hand on Mike's hip. "Don't fight it, sweetheart. It's okay to want it, okay to go after what you want."

Finn kissed him again. "Okay to lie back and let Kurt do this, too."

Mike felt the heat of shame creeping up on him, and he resisted it, listening to Kurt's voice, feeling the touch of Finn's lips on his. He tried to slow his breathing and relax. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Absolutely," Kurt assured him. "You're doing just fine. I'll handle everything."

Kurt's confidence and steady manner reassured Mike, and he felt Finn shift into the space behind him, holding him close.

"I've got you, man. It's okay. You trust us?" Finn's arms were strong, and Mike felt safe in his arms even as he was so terribly aroused he could hardly think.

"Yeah. Trust you." Mike let his head settle against Finn's shoulder. He wanted to close his eyes, just to enjoy the sensations, but he didn't want to miss the sight of Kurt taking him in his mouth. Are we ever going to do this again? he wanted to ask, but was afraid of the answer - whether it was yes or no.

"Good," Finn said, tightening his arms and kissing the sensitive skin under his ear. "That's good."

Kurt's lips and tongue were inspiring amazing sensations. With every stroke, Mike felt him edging closer to coming. He didn't know if Kurt intended for him to come in his mouth. He'd let Finn do that, but Finn was his boyfriend, and Mike was just a guy in Glee, and was that something Kurt would want from him? He managed to choke out, "Cl-close."

"It's okay," Finn said into his ear. "You can come. Kurt likes it, trust me."

Mike wondered what it felt like, to be with someone for so long that they just knew what you liked. Maybe someday things would be like that with Tina.

Kurt slowed his strokes down, but he changed the angle, too, giving Mike pressure on the base of his cock, somehow both making him relax more and driving him closer than ever to the edge. "God," he gasped, his hands clenching. Finn took them and placed them on Kurt's head.

"Hold him," Finn encouraged. "Move him where you want him. He doesn't have to be in charge all the time."

Kurt's answering growl was surprisingly hot, and Mike felt himself letting go of the last of his control. True to Finn's word, Kurt wasn't pulling away or slowing down; if anything, he was taking Mike deeper, letting him pull his head flush with his body, taking it all without apparent discomfort. "That's it," Finn said again, smiling as Mike threw his head back, arching into Kurt's waiting mouth. "Yeah - that's so hot, Mike."

He could feel Kurt, holding tight to his hips and sucking hard on his cock, and Mike let go with a shudder and a shout.

"Oh, god," he groaned. The pressure from Kurt's mouth was almost too much as he worked to swallow every drop. He put out his hands to hold him back. "That's - okay, okay, no more!"

"Just wait until he tries to get you to come a second time," Finn whispered, as Kurt let him slip out between his lips. "Don't worry. Next time."

Next time, said Mike's imagination, already racing ahead to all the other amazing things they might do for the rest of the summer, there in the safety of their room, at night, after meals, between classes... he whimpered.

"You okay?" Kurt rested his head against the inside of Mike's leg.

"Next time," he whispered, panting. "You want to- um. Do this again?"

"Oh, yes," Kurt sighed. His breath was hot on Mike's skin, and he felt his cock twitch weakly. I guess I am seventeen, he thought, but he knew there was no way he'd be able to go again tonight.

"Yeah," Finn said from behind him, nudging against him with his hips. "Definitely. You want to do this again?"

Mike didn't think he could keep his mind from betraying what that hip nudge was making him think of, but he tried to keep his attention on the conversation. "Yeah," he said. "This was incredible. But..."

Kurt glanced at Finn in concern. "But what?"

"What about you?" he said. "You're still... I mean, you haven't..." He made a futile and vaguely obscene gesture. "Have you?"

Kurt looked up at him through obscenely long eyelashes. He climbed up to sit on the edge of the bed between Mike's legs, placing one hand on his thigh. "No, I haven't. So perceptive, sweetheart." Yes, Kurt was definitely still hard. And Mike thought he heard it again, the words he still didn't understand, such a good boy. "Do you have any ideas about that?"

"I think- can I-?" Mike's mind was very clear on the topic; his hand was almost itching to feel Kurt, to wrap around him and work him until he was spilling over Mike's hand, but he couldn't get the words out.

"Anything you want, sweetheart." Kurt was being so calm, so gentle, and Mike knew he had to be incredibly uncomfortable.

"Can- um. Can I touch you?"

"Please," Kurt all but groaned, and he looked at Finn. "Can you- help Mike?"

"Yeah," Finn said, and he spoke into Mike's ear again. "Take his shorts off," Finn growled, and Mike moved quickly to do exactly that. "Good. Don't be scared. It's not that different from . . . your own."

"Different enough," Mike protested, but he couldn't take his eyes off Kurt's erection. Finn was right, it wasn't so different, but the angle wasn't what he was used to, and he didn't know where to touch, or how hard to stroke, and he just sat there, staring.

"Here," Finn said, taking Mike's hand in his own. "Let me help."

He guided Mike's hand over Kurt's cock, but as soon as Mike felt Kurt, heavy and full against his palm and fingers, he knew exactly what to do. He ran his thumb over the head, doing his best to get enough wetness so that he didn't hurt Kurt. He hesitated a moment, because his hand felt too dry, but Finn was right there.

"It's okay, he's really close. Don't worry." Kurt's eyes were almost closed, and he let out an anticipatory noise that made Finn's breath catch. Mike watched the way Finn looked at Kurt, the way he noticed every little motion, the shift of his hips, the rhythm of his breathing. It made his heart ache a little, because it was so much what he wanted - to love, and be loved like that. To be known.

"Feels good," Kurt sighed. This Kurt was so different from the one who'd been in charge of everything just a few minutes ago. He was giving in, letting the pleasure of the moment carry him, just as Finn had done. Just as he'd done, himself. And there was that oh god I let a guy give me a blowjob panic again.

But Mike took a deep breath and let it out. It wasn't just any guy. It was Kurt. And Finn. And no matter what he'd told himself about not knowing them very well, he'd spent the last two years in Glee with them, had gone through relationship traumas and friendship trials and sectionals and regionals and even nationals in New York. They weren't like Tina, but they were his friends. He wanted this, and it was okay, because they made it okay.

Mike moved his hand with renewed focus, his heart beating in time with the words in his head: it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. He could feel each stroke as though he were touching himself, the way the pace changed, the slick-smooth surface of his skin. Kurt was thrusting up into his grip, his breath coming rapidly, and Finn was talking at him again, encouraging him.

"That's it," Finn was saying. "Just right. A little faster, let him fuck your hand, it's what he needs. Feel that? You're giving him exactly what he needs. So good, Mike. You're so good."

Mike gasped as the words hit him. He felt it in his gut, not like a punch, but like the blossoming of a flower, just as Kurt cried out, "Yes, god," and thrust into his hand, coming hard. By the time he was done, Mike could feel the tears on his cheeks, and he folded himself into Finn's waiting arms.

"Okay," Finn said, pressing a kiss into Mike's hair. "It's okay. You did so well, man. You're okay. We're all okay."

Art by Emilywritescrap: i. minus.

0M0

By the time Mike was out of the shower, Kurt had a half a sandwich and an apple waiting for him. "Where'd you get this?" he asked, toweling off his hair. He felt a little shy, but Finn's smile and Kurt's gentle hand reassured him.

"It doesn't hurt to be friends with both Toby and Darius," Kurt said, grinning. "Come on, eat. You've got to be starving."

Mike was, and he ate every bite before crawling back onto Kurt's bed to sit next to Finn. Finn put a casual arm around his shoulder.

"Not freaking out?" he asked quietly.

Mike blushed, looking at his lap. "Uh, no," he said. "Not freaking out. Maybe tomorrow, but right now... I'm good." I'm good, he thought, remembering Finn's words, and smiled to himself.

"That's okay," Kurt said, sitting on the edge of the bed. He took Mike's hand, holding it in his palm. "No matter what, we'll still be here tomorrow. Even if you decide you don't want to do that again, ever." He smiled. "I don't do casual sex."

Mike wasn't exactly sure what Kurt meant by that, but he tried nodding. "Uh, I don't really, either? Well - other than Tina, I haven't really done anything with anybody. But I don't think I would like that. Casual." He glanced at Finn, who nodded.

"I don't think this was casual," Finn said. He stroked a hand down Mike's head, squeezing his neck. "We're friends, yeah, but..." He shrugged. "It's more than just sex. It's about figuring out what you need."

Kurt put a hand on top of Finn's. "And what you need, love," he added softly. Finn blushed, looking away.

"Okay, yeah," Finn muttered. "Whatever."

"How do you know?" Mike wondered aloud. "I mean, you guys always seem so sure of what you need. How do you know?"

Kurt laughed, and ran a hand down Mike's arm. "Practice. Experience. We pay attention, we listen." He squeezed Mike's hand. "You and Tina, you'll get there. It takes time."

"What about, um." Mike wanted to ask, to know what they were thinking about him, about what they'd done. "What about . . . us?' Oh, god, he hated sounding young and needy and confused. "You said you don't do casual sex. But I'm not part of your - family?"

Kurt just tightened his grip on Mike's hand. "There's more than one way to define family, sweetheart. You're not casual; you never will be. Even if this doesn't continue once we get home, this will never be something to throw away, do you understand?" He brought Mike's hand to his lips and kissed it, once. "You matter, Mike. To us."

"Thank you," Mike said, resting his head against Finn's chest. Finn stroked his hair and Kurt held his hand, and he felt safe and warm and loved.

He closed his eyes and drifted a little further into the sensation of loved; he felt all floaty and half-aware, until his ears caught the telltale wet sounds of kissing, and Finn was squirming against him.

Mike's eyes flew open and he edged away quickly, catching Kurt's eye.

"Sorry," Kurt said, full of apology. "We didn't mean-"

"No, no," Mike said, standing and moving toward the door. "It's okay." He found his shorts where they'd been cast aside earlier, and stepped into them before pulling on a clean t-shirt. "I'm going to go take a walk, call Tina. I don't know if I'll get to talk to her, but she started her camp on Sunday, and I want to make sure she's okay and everything." Oh, Christ, he was babbling.

"You don't have to-" Finn started to protest, but Kurt shot him a look, and Finn just grinned lopsidedly at him. "Okay. Thanks, man."

Mike pocketed his phone and slipped into the hall, and wondered if he'd ever feel like he wasn't intruding on something every time anything happened between Finn and Kurt.

0M0

"That was... intense," said Finn. Kurt adjusted his head so he could look up at Finn and still keep his head resting on Finn's chest.

"You've been thinking about Mike a long time," Kurt said, trying to be calm. "Of course it would be." His hand made little circles on Finn's chest. They hadn't put their shirts on yet, and Kurt reveled in the feeling of Finn's clean, post-shower skin.

"I guess?" Finn absently kissed the top of his head. "I like Mike. He's a great guy."

Kurt sighed to himself. "It's more than that, and you know it." He stared at Finn. "You do know it, don't you?"

Finn was silent for a moment. He shifted on the bed. "Do you think so?"

Kurt raised himself up on his elbows and gave Finn an incredulous stare. "Yes. Finn, I know you. I know exactly what's going on. You're falling in love with him."

"I am not," Finn protested, struggling to sit up, but Kurt pushed him back down flat on the bed. He straddled him, kneeling over him with his hands on Finn's shoulders.

"Just like you weren't falling in love with Blaine, right? Oh, it's not a sexual thing. I don't have feelings for him." Kurt's imitation sounded absolutely nothing like Finn, which Finn knew meant he was just doing it to be a brat, because Kurt was an excellent mimic when he wanted to be.

"Dude, in this case, it's totally a sexual thing," Finn said, grinning. "And I do have feelings for Mike. They're just not falling in love kind of feelings." He cocked his head. "You're worried about that?"

"Well, shouldn't I be?" snapped Kurt. He balled his hands in Finn's shirt and hung on, shaking, as Finn lifted him into his lap and wrapped him up tight.

"You're my baby," Finn whispered into his ear, and felt a tremor pass through his body. "I love you, so much. I always will, no matter what else happens. No matter who else comes along."

"I know," Kurt whispered back. "I really do."

There was a pause. Finn cradled him closer. "But...?" he prompted.

Kurt sighed. "But - no matter how much you love me, I'll never get to be first in your eyes again. I'll never get to be the one you're imagining, hoping for, waking up at night wanting. I'll never be new again."

Finn considered this, trying not to be hurt by the accusation in Kurt's words. "Okay," he agreed at last. "I get that. But didn't you have the same thing, with Blaine? And before that, with Adam?"

"I know, I know," Kurt moaned. "It's not logical. And you don't get to be new with me, either. But right now, I'm feeling - second best, and I know it's stupid. I love Mike."

Finn poked him with one finger in the ribs, making him squirm in protest. "Who's falling in love now?"

"You know what I mean," Kurt said, batting at his hand. Finn caught his wrist before it could do any damage, and held it fast. This made Kurt go still all over, his eyes huge. Finn gazed back.

"I know how you're feeling, too," said Finn quietly. "Wanting to take care of him... knowing you can make it okay, no matter what he needs. It's just how I felt about Blaine. And no, it wasn't sexual. Then." Finn grinned. "Maybe I should be worried about you falling in love with Mike."

"I'm not going to," Kurt said, and Finn nodded, kissing him.

"I know, baby. I'm just teasing. I know this is different - it's the three of us, together. Like it was with you and Puck and Blaine. The three of you, you had your time to help Blaine figure things out, even before me and Blaine had anything sexual. I'm so glad you did, too, because he really needed it. And I'm glad you're here, with me and Mike, because - he needs you, too."

He let the pressure go on Kurt's body, just a little, and Kurt sighed, looking much more calm. Finn smiled. "I kind of like having you as my Top, baby."

"You're such a bad liar, Finn Hudson," Kurt said, and kissed him.

0M0

There was a little pond back behind the dorms, and Mike liked how quiet it was. There didn't seem to be any other kids around, so he walked down there and tucked himself cross-legged on one of the wide wooden benches before calling Tina. He really didn't think she would answer, because she was probably busy, and he was so surprised to hear her voice instead of her message greeting that he almost dropped his phone.

"Tina! I didn't think you'd answer." There was music in the background, and voices, and Tina was giggling.

"Mike! Hold on." He heard her whispering to someone, and then it was silent except for the faint chirping of . . . crickets? "Hey," she said, soft and intimate. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he said, and before she could call him on his lie he changed his mind. "No. Well. Things aren't bad, really. Just complicated."

"You- did you? With . . .?" She sounded genuinely interested, like she really cared what was happening.

"Not . . . not sex," he said, keeping his voice low. "But other things."

"Was it okay? Are you okay? I swear, if they hurt you-"

"T! No! No, it's okay. I'm-" he sighed heavily. "I'm okay. Just... after, we were talking and... and Kurt said that he doesn't do casual sex, and I wondered what that meant for me, because they have their whole family thing, and I have you, and I love you. And Kurt said that even if this stayed here at camp, I'd never be casual because I matter. To them."

"Oh, baby," Tina whispered, and Mike thought that maybe she was crying. "That's so sweet."

"You think?" Mike shifted, tucking his knees under his chin and wrapping his arms around himself. The night was cooler than he'd expected.

"Yeah," she said with a sniffle. Mike tried not to descent into guilt.

"I just- I mean, you're the only one who's ever made me feel like that before, and now... there's the two of them. Kurt said I didn't have to figure everything out at once, but what does it all mean?"

"Do you remember how big everything felt, after our first time?" Tina's voice was level, but he could hear her as she kept sniffling.

"Yeah." How could he forget? He'd felt so close to Tina, but also overwhelmed by all the other desires in his head.

"And we agreed not to decide anything that night, because neither of us were thinking clearly. This is just like that. I really think it's okay if you just feel whatever you're feeling. And listen to Kurt, okay? He's really good at taking care of people, so please, let him do that for you." Tina was emphatic. Mike wondered how often Kurt let people see that side of him.

"I can do that," Mike reassured her.

"Good. Now... can you tell me what you guys did?"

"Tina!" Mike glanced around the pond, making absolutely sure he was alone.

"Mike! Guys together are hot, we've already established that. Please?"

Mike blushed, but he also shivered at the memory of Kurt's mouth on him and Finn's arms holding him. He felt Tina's calming presence on the other end of the phone, and he knew that she'd never betray his confidence.

"Fine. I watched," he told her, "and then Finn watched Kurt and me."

"That's not giving me anything, Michael Robert Chang. Hands, mouths, what?"

"Mouths," Mike mumbled. "And then... I used my hand on Kurt."

"Maybe I'll ask Kurt for some tips, when we get back home. Was he good?"

"Tina!" Mike couldn't help grinning, because Tina was just being herself, but she was making him feel so comfortable. "Yes, okay. He was good. And I'm hanging up now, because I don't want the image of Kurt giving you sex tips in my head."

"Maybe he'd let me watch," she said, almost to herself.

"Oh, god. Going now."

"I love you, baby," she said, suddenly serious again before he had the phone an inch from his ear.

"Love you too, T. Thank you." He blinked, and felt tears in his eyes. "I miss you."

"I know, baby. I miss you, too, but you have two amazing boys up in your room, and you should go back to them now. Okay?"

"Okay." He wiped his eyes and waited until she ended the call before he moved his phone. Then he sat for awhile, enjoying the quiet and solitude of the empty night.

0M0

The next morning was more of the same, although Mike's hickey had faded a bit. The same people were staring at him in the cafeteria at breakfast, and the same guys were snickering about him being a baby gay and other, less pleasant words.

There were two big differences, though, and their names were Kurt and Finn. They were right beside him throughout breakfast, helping him get his cereal and pour his juice like he was six. For the rest of the day, between classes, at meal times, even when he went running, one or both of them was there, not even needing to talk, not making eyes at him or anything. Just being there.

It felt fantastic.

After dinner, Finn smiled over a spoonful of mashed potatoes and said casually, "You busy?"

Mike didn't even pretend to think Finn wasn't talking to him, because he knew he was talking to both of them. "I should practice that part for men's chorus," he said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Whatever." Finn snorted. "Kurt?"

"I think I can clear my schedule." Kurt watched Finn eat his mashed potatoes with a barely disguised expression of anticipation. "What did you have in mind?"

Finn's grin was far too smug. "I talked to Toby, and he's giving us a pass to go into town." He bit his lip, glancing at Mike. "We could go on a date."

Mike's heart stopped briefly, then restarted again, double time. "Uh..."

"Movies and gelato?" Kurt said, and Finn nodded. "All right, Finn. And you'd better be planning to pay for all three of us. I don't put out for just anybody, you know."

Kurt's voice was a little bit too loud, and the girls walking by their table stopped and stared at Kurt for a long, awkward moment before moving on. To his credit, Kurt didn't blush too hard; he managed to maintain his air of superiority until they got back to their room.

"God," Kurt moaned, hiding his face. "I can't believe I - okay. Whatever."

Finn kissed him, then Mike, before heading into the bathroom. "Come on, guys. Let's not waste any time."

0M0

They walked across the river down Bagley to the Mootown Creamery first. Mike felt particularly grown-up, leaving campus like that, their pass tucked in Kurt's pocket. Finn gallantly paid for all three of their ice creams - Kurt had coffee toffee Heath bar, and Mike chose black cherry - and then sat outside under the canopy of trees, watching the people of Berea ignore the three boys eating their ice cream together.

"I wonder if any of them guess what's really going on," Finn said, taking a lick of his vanilla cone. Kurt had laughed at his choice of flavor, but Finn had just shrugged and said it's still my favorite.

"You mean, with us?" Kurt rolled his eyes. "Maybe, but I doubt it. I bet I look like your gay brother and you guys are the straight friends."

"Who cares?" Finn said with a shrug. "They don't know us, so why does what they think even matter?"

Kurt stabbed his spoon into his cup. "Sometimes I wish I could just get through one day without being looked at as the gay kid."

"Well," Mike said, snagging a drip off the edge of his cone before it fell on his hand, "I don't think being seen with me is going to help you these days."

Kurt took a bite of his ice cream and then waved his spoon at Mike. "You're a funny, funny boy."

Finn laughed. "Hey, it's kinda true, though. Everyone's so busy talking about Mike that nobody's even really paying attention to us."

"You're welcome," Mike said with a small chuckle. It still stung, having all that focus on him, but knowing that Finn and Kurt were right there with him made it a little less scary.

The movie theater was a little further down the road and around the corner. Kurt took Finn's hand and walked with him that way for a while, ignoring the eyes that fell on them. Admittedly, there were a few, but most of them just acknowledged them and looked away. Maybe they really didn't care. Maybe they did. Mike would never know. Either way, he breathed a sigh of relief when Kurt finally dropped Finn's hand again.

Then he caught his breath when Finn picked up his. He blinked into warm brown eyes. "Hey," Finn said, looking at their hands. "I don't have to, if you'd rather not. But I kind of want to."

"It's okay," Mike said, with only a tiny quiver in his voice. "I - I kind of want to, too."

Kurt touched Mike's back as they entered the theater, and whispered, just for him, "Such a brave thing, sweetheart." It warmed him inside, even if it wasn't anything, what he and Finn were doing. Even if it didn't really mean anything.

Finn and Kurt went back and forth over movie selections for several minutes before they finally turned to Mike and said, "Okay, you pick." Which meant Mike had to come out as a closet Pixar fan, because Toy Story 3 was playing, and he really didn't want to miss seeing it in the theater. Luckily, neither of the other two boys objected. Finn got an enormous size of buttered popcorn and a Coke for them all to share, and they found seats near the back of the theater. Mike sat in the middle.

"So do you guys ever go out on dates, back home?" Mike asked. He felt oddly comforted, flanked by the two of them. He held the popcorn, and their reaching hands could have made him feel crowded, but they didn't at all.

"Two at a time, usually," Finn said. "And sometimes the four of us take Sarah and Frances out. She's Sarah's best friend. I take Rachel out at home, but mostly we have to go elsewhere for dates. Me and Puck can play best friends hanging out in Lima, as long as we don't do anything too touchy-feely. Kurt and Puck and Blaine go down to Masque, in Dayton, to dance."

"Blaine and I go out in Westerville," Kurt added, taking the Coke from Mike. "Finn and Blaine do, too, sometimes."

"And then there are the other people," Mike said, and Finn and Kurt fell silent. He looked back and forth between the two of them. "There are, right? I mean, you said - "

"I guess we did," Kurt said, looking apologetic. "Uh... yes. Some others. But they're secrets. I mean, not from each other, but from just about everybody else."

Mike nodded uneasily. "You don't have to tell me. It's fine."

"Noah and I, we have someone, in California. He's... older. And our relationship can't be public, because it could jeopardize his career."

Finn was clearly uncomfortable. "And my other... I'd have to ask him first, before I told you anything. It's complicated. But Rachel is - uh. Let's just leave it at complicated for now."

Mike put a hand on Finn's leg. Finn looked at him in surprise. "It's okay," Mike said gently. "Really."

After that, Finn was quiet, and the movie started soon afterwards anyway. Mike watched for a while, trying not to get lost in the feel of Kurt and Finn, and the warmth of their bodies next to him, the way their arms brushed his as they reached into the bucket for popcorn. But once the popcorn was gone, and Finn had taken the bucket and set it on the floor, Mike could hardly focus on anything but the other boys and the way that just being with them, on a date, was turning him on.

It was Finn who took the first step, putting his hand on Mike's bare leg below his shorts. He gasped a little, but there was nobody around them, and the sound didn't travel far amid the noise of the movie. Finn's hand slid up his thigh and nudged his erection.

"Well," Finn said, sounding pleased. Then he leaned over and kissed Mike, right there in the middle of the movie theater.

Mike couldn't help it, he had to kiss back, because kissing Finn was awesome, and the stupid arm of the seat was in the way, but he couldn't help trying to buck his hips up into Finn's touch anyway.

"Hang on," Finn murmured. His left hand came around Mike's neck, holding on firmly to his shoulder, while his right unbuttoned Mike's shorts and slid the zipper down. Mike just sat there, trying desperately not to be noticed by anybody in the theater, but absolutely not willing to tell Finn to stop, because, god, he didn't think he'd ever been this hard in his life.

Kurt's hand made a pattern on his thigh, sweeping from his knee up into the leg of his shorts, and then back, over and over, which was turning him on just about as much as anything Finn was doing on his side. But then Finn's hand reached right into his boxers and gripped him loosely, stroking him, he could scarcely keep from crying out.

"Shhh," Kurt said, turning his head with a firm hand and kissing him deeply. Mike leaned closer to Kurt. He suddenly wanted to pull Kurt into his lap because Finn's hand felt so good, but it wasn't enough. He needed to move, needed the firmness of something - anything, anyone - to thrust against.

"Harder," he managed to gasp into Kurt's mouth, and then Kurt's hand was joining Finn's around him, pressing and pulling, and different enough from the feeling of just Finn's hand that Mike was done in seconds.

Kurt kept kissing him, swallowing Mike's moans, and Finn's voice was so soft in his ear that Mike could hardly hear him over the movie.

"There you go, man. That's it. You liked that, huh?"

"Mmm," Mike hummed, resting his forehead on Kurt's shoulder. There was motion around him, the crinkle of napkins and Finn's sure hands tucking Mike back into his boxers, zipping up his shorts.

"Feel better?" Finn's hand was back, slight pressure on the back of Mike's neck.

"Much," Mike said. He glanced at Kurt, eyes luminous in the light of the movie screen, and then at Finn, smiling at him, and he just felt so lucky and... grateful. He had to do something. Something for them.

"I want to..." He paused, fixing his eyes on the screen. "Can I... "

Kurt's hands played with his hair. "What do you need, sweetheart?"

But Mike couldn't say it, not even with the anonymity of the theater's darkness around him, because, to be honest, he had no idea how he was going to fit down onto the floor of the theater in front of their seats. He spent the rest of the movie thinking about this, being as creative as he could, but even factoring in the flexibility of Kurt's legs, he didn't think it was possible.

They heard people in the lobby talking about how sweet the ending was, but Mike didn't think any of them had been paying much attention to it. He was still thinking about what he wanted, how he had this overwhelming need to please both Finn and Kurt. He wasn't sure what that meant about him, that he actually wanted to take another guy in his mouth, to make him writhe and groan in pleasure, but the idea was more than compelling.

They walked the three blocks down to the river in silence. Mike followed them down the stairs to the trail that curved along the south side, to the park below.

"It's technically closed at dusk," Kurt said, hesitating only a moment. "We might get caught, being here."

"We'll stay close to the woods," Finn assured him, taking his hand. "And we won't stay long."

Mike went to Finn's side and reached out, taking his other hand, so the three of them were walking together. Finn's smile was enough of a reason for him to do it, and there was nobody watching them, anyway. No reason why they shouldn't do all the things he wanted to do.

Under the cover of a stand of trees, Mike took Finn's hand and tugged him into the shadows. Finn stepped into his arms with a sigh. "Mike," he said. "What are you doing?"

I have no fucking idea, Mike thought wildly, but he reached for the button on Finn's shorts and had his zipper down before Finn could say one more thing.

"You're gonna - ohhh," Finn groaned, feeling Mike's hand on him, the pressure of the heel of his hand in what apparently was just the right spot. It was where Mike wanted the pressure on himself, what he wanted to feel in the theater, the impact of something solid against which he could thrust. God, he thought in a daze, I want that?

But right now Mike wanted something else. Something for Finn. And, if he wanted to be honest with himself, something for him, too. He took one more quick glance around the empty park, and knelt before him on the woodchips. He saw Finn's surprised expression, gazing down on him, for one brief moment before he disentangled Finn's cock from his boxers and took it into his mouth.

Or tried to, anyway, because really, how did anyone fit something that big into their throat? It had seemed so much easier when Kurt had done it. Maybe I need lessons, he thought, and the idea was way, way hotter than he'd expected it to be. He moaned around the pressure of Finn's cock in his mouth, and tried not to let his gag reflex get the better of him.

"Oh, sweetheart," breathed Kurt, his voice low and sultry. That was hot, too, Mike wanted to say, but there was no way he was going to make any kind of words come out right now. He felt Kurt's presence behind him, leaning over his bobbing head to kiss Finn, just as Kurt had done for him when Finn had stroked him in the movie theater.

For a moment, Mike saw himself as if from a third person's view. He watched himself holding Finn's hand, walking down the street. He saw himself letting Finn take his shorts down and jack him off in the movie theater, while he kissed Kurt. He saw what he was doing now, doing an even more intimate act in an even more public setting - risking arrest, possibly expulsion from the program, certainly some form of censure. And he didn't care.

He reached up with both hands, touching Finn the way he knew felt good for him, cupping his balls, pulling back the skin at the base of his cock, running a gentle finger along the curve of his ass. He heard Finn's gasps and moans, and drank them down like nectar.

"Jogger coming," Kurt murmured. "Better hurry. You've got about three minutes before he's in view."

Mike gasped, because the idea of being seen did something to him, and he tried to ignore the fact that he was getting hard again. Just at the thought of someone watching you.

But really, he always had worked well under pressure. He redoubled his efforts, speeding up the pace, taking as much of Finn into his throat as he could, and letting Kurt's encouraging words - so hot, sweetheart, that's just what he likes, you can give it to him, so beautiful on your knees like that - spur Finn on to buck his hips and stutter out a wordless exclamation before jerking back, taking himself in his hand. He stroked once, twice, then stiffened and came on the ground in front of Mike, getting a little on his shoes.

Mike's immediate thought was, hey, why'd you do that? But then Kurt was pulling him to his feet, whispering gentle, soothing words, and Finn was zipping himself back up in a hurry before the jogger rounded the bend. He didn't seem to notice the three boys standing under the cover of the trees.

"I think it's time to go home," suggested Kurt, and took Mike firmly by the hand, walking him down the trail to the stairs, back to the road. Finn followed along behind, a little more slowly. Mike was starting to wake up from his strange dream state, but even looking at his actions from the outside, he couldn't help but feel a little pleased with himself. I made a guy come with my mouth, he imagined himself telling Tina, and wondered if she'd really think it was hot.

Kurt didn't let go of his hand until they were a block away from their dorm, and even then he was moving right beside Mike, his palm warm and solid on his back, almost steering him where he wanted him to go. He walked him right up to the third floor, completely bypassing the elevators, and into their room, shutting the door behind them.

"What were you thinking?" Kurt hissed, his face white. "What kind of - idiotic move was that, Michael?"

"Kurt," Finn tried, but Kurt clearly wasn't listening to him.

"You don't get a say here, Mr. Blowjob-Under-The-Trees," Kurt shot out, a restraining hand on Finn's chest, and Finn sat down on the bed without another word. When Kurt turned back to Mike, he looked like he might go ballistic any moment. Mike held up two hands in defense.

"I'm sorry," he said, trying not to panic. "I - I don't know what I was thinking. I just - it was so good, what you did for me, in the theater, and I wanted... I don't know, to... to give something back. To show you how good I felt."

Kurt stared at him, his brow creasing. Then he took a long, slow breath, and a step back. His fists relaxed back into hands, and he crossed his arms, uncrossing them right away.

"Kurt," Finn said again, meaningfully, and this time Kurt sighed.

"Yes, you're right," Kurt replied, though Mike had no idea what he meant by that. "Okay. Mike." Kurt reached out and took his hand. "That was... very sweet, what you did. Thoughtful... kind of. And I understand why you did it. But - do you think it was the best idea?"

Mike hung his head. "No. I know it was a stupid idea. And..."

Kurt nodded, prompting, "And what?"

Mike glanced at Finn, then back at Kurt. "And... I still didn't get to thank you, did I?"

Finn smothered a laugh, then shrugged when Kurt glared at him. "What?" he said easily. "It's not my fault he's a quick learner. Or that he appears to be a natural."

Natural what? Mike wanted to ask, but Kurt was already stepping into his space, straightening his shirt and cupping Mike's head to pull him into a kiss.

"You were very good, the way you took care of Finn," he said, keeping their heads together. Mike could taste the popcorn on his tongue. "What did you think about that?"

"It's harder than it looks," Mike admitted. "I don't think I did a very good job."

Finn cleared his throat. "Dude," he said. "You didn't hear any complaints from me, did you? That was awesome."

"Yeah, but you - at the end there." Mike paused, flushing. "You didn't want me to - swallow."

"Oh, that? I just figured, it was your first time and all, maybe you wouldn't want to." Finn reached for his other hand. "That was your first time, right?" Mike nodded, grinning shyly at Finn, and he squeezed Mike's hand in return. "So, yeah, man. It wasn't any kind of comment on your performance. You did great."

Kurt looped a single finger into waistband of Mike's shorts and tugged him closer. His other hand reached around and held Mike's neck firm, the same way Finn had done in the theater. "The best way to get better," Kurt said sweetly, placing wet kisses along Mike's jaw, "is to practice. So... why don't you practice on me?"

Mike hesitated, and Kurt smiled in reassurance. "It's okay, sweetheart," he added. "I want that, but only if you do."

"I - I do," Mike stuttered, and Kurt kissed him again, encouraging him to sit on the edge of the bed next to Finn.

"All right. Then come here."

Mike was eye-level with Kurt's fly, and even though he willed them not to, his hands were shaking as he worked the button and zipper.

"Dude," Finn said from next to him. "Don't worry; it'll be just fine. You did great with me."

Except now Mike had had time to think about it, and he was worried that he wasn't going to be able to do anything if he couldn't turn his brain off. He stopped, his hands slack in his lap.

"I don't know if I can," he said, looking up at Kurt. Kurt just smiled at Mike and beckoned him into his arms, where Mike went willingly. He hugged him, holding him on his chest, encouraging him to put his head down.

"What's getting in your way?" Kurt asked, his voice completely calm now. He didn't sound angry at all, and Mike relaxed a little more.

"I want to do it right," Mike sighed into Kurt's chest. "I don't want to disappoint you."

Kurt's fingers played with his hair. "Sweetheart, no. This is new for you, and I know that. We both know that. We'll never judge you for that." He tipped Mike's chin up, so he could look into his eyes. "And sometimes, it's just fun to play. There's no pressure to get anybody anywhere, okay? Just . . . relax, and enjoy it. I know I will."

"Really?" All the guys Mike knew talked like getting off was the only point. He'd never considered that it could be any other way.

"Really," Finn reassured him. "It's okay, however things end up."

"Okay." Having some of the pressure off cleared his mind a little, but he stayed in the safe circle of Kurt's arms.

"What else?" Kurt held him tighter. "What's going on in your head?"

Mike flushed hot, and hesitated because he didn't want to make Kurt upset again. "When we were outside? The jogger? Knowing he was there, it was, um." He tried three times to get the words out, but he couldn't.

"It turned you on, didn't it?" Finn nudged him gently with his shoulder. "I felt you. You were different, after that."

"Yeah," Mike said. "It did. It felt good, then, but now, thinking about it - it's a little freaky. I mean, we were in public!"

"And the theater wasn't?" Finn said, but Kurt shushed him.

"I bet it's hard to believe that you did such things," he said in that same quiet, calm voice. "That you could have been caught. But that's not what you were thinking when you did them, was it?"

"No," Mike said in a whisper. "I just wanted... so much."

"What did you want?" Kurt's voice dipped lower, and Mike shuddered at the desire he heard there. "When you were in the theater. Think about that. When Finn touched you, what did you want?"

Mike closed his eyes and remembered sitting there in the dark, feeling the air conditioning raise the hairs on his bare thighs, Finn's hand dipping into his shorts to stroke him, Kurt's tongue brushing his.

"I wanted to feel you," he murmured. "You, touching me, and me, touching you."

"Yeah," Finn said, letting out his breath. "Guys, they feel different than girls."

Mike nodded, looking over at Finn. Kurt's legs shifted in front of him. He was right there; all Mike had to do was reach out and touch him. As soon as he put his hand against Kurt's stomach, he remembered the desire he'd had to move against something, to thrust. He shuddered.

Kurt smoothed Mike's hair, pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "Sweetheart. Talk to me."

Mike shook his head. "I don't know. I mean, I do know, I just can't say it."

"Why can't you say it? You're not freaking out, are you?" Finn's hand was back on Mike's back in that spot that made him feel warm and safe and loved.

"Maybe?" Mike shrugged. "I mean, I've hardly . . . anything . . . with Tina, and she's being so good, and letting me figure this all out, but none of this is fair to her. What if-" He broke off, swallowing hard and suddenly unable to continue.

Kurt's hand reached out and grazed Finn's head with a knowing smile. "I know that feeling. She's giving you a chance to experience this, to learn what you want. You're not going to lose what you have with her just because you're doing this with us."

Mike turned the thoughts over and over in his head. He sighed. "But that's not the problem. This, what we're doing together... what if I - what if I want it more than what I have with Tina?"

"Oh, sweetheart." Kurt wrapped his arms tight around Mike, and just held him. "Try not to worry about that, okay?"

"I don't think I could do that to Tina. It would hurt too much." Mike tried to let Kurt's warmth surround him, but he had goosebumps on his arms and legs anyway. He could hear his voice rising in anxiety. "She's already being way too awesome about all of this... I don't know how to tell her how about what we're doing. About what we - what I did. About what I want to do."

"Mike." Kurt's hand was on his chin again, and his voice was low and intense, and it was instantly calming to Mike. "I'm telling you, you don't need to worry about that right now. Right now, right here, this isn't about Tina, or even about Finn or I. This is about you, what you need and want. And I want to give that to you, but I can't unless you tell me what that is."

Mike took a deep breath, letting it out, feeling the tension recede. "Okay," he said. "When we were at the movies, and Finn was . . . um. It felt really good, but I wanted . . . more."

"More what?" Kurt asked, his face completely blank.

"Oh, god, you're actually going to make me say it, aren't you?" Mike was suddenly hot and his face felt like it had to have been absolutely scarlet.

"Say what?" Kurt tilted his head sideways and smiled gently at Mike.

"He wants to fuck something," Finn said softly, leaning forward, his thigh pressed against Mike's from hip to knee. Mike flinched a little at the word fuck, a word he was never allowed to say at home, and had only used a handful of times in his life. His mother would have never said it. He'd always had the feeling like that word was the worst word of all. But right now, it didn't feel like anything bad. It felt good. He tried to hide his face in his hand, but Kurt hauled him back out.

"God," he moaned. "I can't believe this."

"Is that right, sweetheart?" Kurt held Mike's gaze. "Is that what you wanted? What you want?"

"Yes," Mike replied, so softly that he almost couldn't hear himself.

"Mmmmm," Kurt hummed at him. "A lovely idea... but you're not ready for that yet."

"O-okay." Mike wasn't even sure how Kurt knew that, but he had to trust him. Kurt seemed to know a lot about a lot of things. He wrinkled his brow, shaking his head. "How did you learn about all this stuff?"

Finn chuckled. "I think it was just trial and error, man. Lots of trials, huh, Kurt?"

Kurt didn't answer, but he pulled Mike's head in to rest against his stomach again, stroking his hair. Mike was suddenly aware again of Kurt's arousal, of his zipper half undone, and Kurt's complete aplomb. "You're really good at it," he mumbled, making Finn laugh again.

Kurt was stepping away, pressing Mike back onto the bed as he did. "It's okay, honey. You don't have to do anything. It's been a long night, already, and -"

"No!" Mike cried, making a grab for Kurt's hips. He got one hand on the loop of his pants before Kurt could move any further. "No - I want this. Don't..." He looked up into Kurt's surprised eyes. "Please. I want to."

"Sweetheart... it's okay." Kurt smiled gently. "I'm not saying no indefinitely, just no for tonight. You've done so well, honey. You're so good, and it's time for bed now. Why don't you get changed, and I'll climb in with you for a little while."

Mike blinked, and realized that his eyes felt gritty and his limbs felt cottony. "Okay," he relented with a sigh.

Finn watched him, not with interest, but with care as he got ready for bed, stumbling a little. "You doing okay?" he asked, helping him off with his t-shirt. "It was kind of a lot for one night."

"I think so," Mike said, leaning a little into the coolness of Finn's hands on his skin. They felt familiar, now, which maybe was a little weird, but he didn't mind.

"Good," Finn replied. "Tell either of us, if you start freaking out. That's part of the whole honesty thing. We can't help you unless we know what's going on in your head."

Mike nodded again. He was barely able to put thoughts into words anymore. Kurt had seen how tired he was, even though he hadn't noticed it himself. He sank down onto the edge of his bed, yawning. "He takes... good care of me." He peered up at Finn. "Of you, too?"

Finn's smile looked a little sad, but he nodded. "Yeah. He does. Of all of us." Mike was a little surprised when Finn leaned down and kissed his head. "Go on to bed, now."