The moment he was alerted to their return, Steven Caldwell had insisted on an immediate debrief, much to the frustration of the team. The lack of sleep over the past two days, as well as the emotionally draining manner in which they had left, meant that they soon submitted to Caldwell's request. Elizabeth hadn't even taken the time to consider how it would ever be possible to explain the events of their mission, but as they walked to briefing, Elizabeth was very much aware that the actions of her and her team meant she could very well be saying goodbye to a second Atlantis in the foreseeable future.

The style in which Caldwell chose to conduct the interview, starting with the manner in which they had returned to Atlantis, only served to convince Elizabeth that she was heading straight into a whole lot of trouble. To prolong the moment, she allowed John and Rodney to detail the attack which the alternate Atlantis faced and which they had, themselves, almost faced death at, with an expression on passive interest which she had almost perfected in the company of Caldwell. The moment didn't last though, as Zelenka explained that, at the time of the attack, their very own Rodney was in command of the city in order to facilitate their escape. As the words left Zelenka's mouth, Elizabeth could also hear Caldwell's head snap in her direction, as a gradual blush rose to Zelenka's cheeks.

'And how exactly did you find yourself in a position where you needed to escape?' Caldwell asked angrily.

'Due to a...disagreement with their Doctor McKay, we unfortunately found ourselves in a position where we imprisoned.'

'Is that so? Would you care to explain why?' Caldwell asked, coldly.

Elizabeth smiled awkwardly, 'Well...'

'A deal went wrong.' Rodney interjected.

Each person in the room turned to look at Rodney, both confused and slightly intrigued by what he was going to say. Under their gazes, Rodney shifted uncomfortably but eventually settled his eyes on Caldwell with a steely air of defiance.

'Doctor Weir and Colonel Sheppard were asked to join one of their teams on a trade mission, but unfortunately, the deal went wrong when their Major Sheppard tried it on with the leader's wife. After that, our own Elizabeth discovered that Major Sheppard was having an affair with Lieutenant Cadman and felt honour-bound to inform Sheppard and Cadman's partners, which, very sadly resulted in the death of their Doctor Beckett. Meredith held Elizabeth responsible for this and demanded that if we wished to leave, we would have to leave our own Doctor Beckett behind, which Elizabeth refused to submit too.'

As Rodney said these words, he barely blinked, keeping his eyes firmly focussed on Caldwell, who had seemingly accepted the story, given the way he had raised his eyebrows and jokingly stated that it was a relief that Elizabeth had been chosen as the leader of this Atlantis. For Elizabeth though, the relief was all hers, to all of her team who didn't deny Rodney's version of event, but mostly Rodney. Even though she had been furious with him, so furious, she couldn't deny that his bravery in attempting to save the alternate Atlantis, and his efforts to save their careers had completely rid her o any residue anger she may have been feeling. It was impossible to be angry with somebody who had saved your career, especially when you considered them to be a friend.

With that, Elizabeth put in a polite, but firm request that they should be permitted to dial back to the alternate Atlantis in the faint hope that the city had recovered. As Rodney connected the device and slowly typed the symbols, Elizabeth found that she was clutching the rails and that, below the red fabric of her top, her heart was racing.

It stopped when the gate failed to establish a wormhole.

Behind Rodney offered to attempt again, and even though she knew the truth, Elizabeth nodded, continuing to stare at the gate which, once again, failed to establish a wormhole. After several seconds, Elizabeth managed to regain her composure and straightened, turning to face Rodney who looked equally dispirited.

'They're dead.' Rodney said.

'We don't know that. Major Sheppard would have done all he could to save those people.' Elizabeth said, bravely.

Silently, Elizabeth closed her eyes and prayed that they had been saved, as the alternative was too painful to consider. When she opened them once again, Elizabeth saw that people were returning to their quarters and stations and she was left with Rodney awkwardly stood beside her, unable to quite meet her eye.

'I suppose I should start work on that resignation letter.' Rodney said.

Elizabeth smiled at him, 'You suppose wrong.'

'I do?' Rodney asked, with a faint glimmer of hope in his eyes.

'Yes. We've all made mistakes, acted out of character, but you, more than anybody, have shown that doesn't mean you can't still be a good person. You are a good person Rodney, and you are a valuable member of this team.' Elizabeth said.

'I don't know what to say...thank you Elizabeth.' Rodney said.

Elizabeth smiled in return, but was almost knocked off her feet when Rodney flung himself against her and wrapped his arms around her. Wriggling an arm free, Elizabeth gently patted him on the back. Eventually, Rodney let go and continued to thank her and issue promises that he wouldn't let her down, and even though she knew that something would go wrong somewhere down the line she accepted his promise, knowing that he would always do what he considered best for the inhabitants of Atlantis, and that was all that anyone could promise.

This included herself, and she pondered the promise she had made to herself that if they ever returned to this Atlantis, she would be honest with John. She had no choice really; too much had happened for the conversation that was so needed to be avoided indefinitely. So after Elizabeth checked in with Teyla to ensure that Caldwell hadn't made any too drastic changes to the city, Elizabeth found herself outside of John Sheppard's quarters, with a fixed smile as the door slid open.

'Hey.' Elizabeth said, softly.

'Err, hey. Do you want to come in?' John asked, awkwardly.

'Yes. If that's okay?' Elizabeth asked.

John stepped aside and vaguely waved his hand in the direction of the bedroom, and Elizabeth stepped past him, seemingly breaking some unbroken agreement that had existed since they had slept together. The door sliding closed behind her only seemed to prove this. Briefly, as he stood behind her, she allowed herself to take a glimpse into the private world of John Sheppard; the Johnny Cash poster on the wall, the dumped bag on the bed, the game of solitaire on the screen of his laptop.

'Have you attempted to dial again?' John asked.

'No.' Elizabeth admitted, sadly.

John studied her face for several seconds and, nodded, knowing what this did and didn't mean. With John's eyes on her face, Elizabeth found she was suddenly very aware for the reason behind her visit. Tentatively, she stepped forward and sat down on his bed, hoping that the move would put them both more at ease. Seemingly it did as John lowered himself to sit beside her, their bodies brushing slightly.

Elizabeth laughed slightly, 'I came here with this massive speech planned out in my head, and now I can't think of a word to say.'

'Elizabeth you don't need to say anything.'

'I do, or we're going to spend the rest of our lives in Atlantis tiptoeing around each other pretending that we barely know one another.'

'I guess, but I kinda figured that even if we do have this conversation, that was gonna happen anyway.' John said, studying her face.

'Still, I think we do need to have this conversation.'

'I'm all ears.' John grinned

'Don't be cute; it's only going to make it harder.'

'Okay, I'll start then. I've got this massive crush on by boss, who is amazing by the way.' John said, nudging her.

Elizabeth laughed and put her head in her hands, attempting to cover both her embarrassment and pleasure at hearing these words. This was not what she had expected to happen; at this stage, she had expected them to be still making small talk.

'Please don't.' Elizabeth said.

'You didn't let me finish. BUT, she's we're both very professional people, so I think it would be best if we pretend that my little crush doesn't exist.' John said, gently.

'I hate that I, we, have to do this, but you're right; we are professional people and unfortunately our professions don't allow for us to be in a relationship.'

Both continued to sit on the bed, their hands slowly entwining and disentwining, as they wistfully reflected on what they were both giving up. Gradually, though, their hands pulled apart and Elizabeth stood up and smoothed her shirt, ready to face anybody who may be on the other side of that door wondering why she was ever in John's quarters in the first place.

As she reached the door, John said, 'And, it's not all bad, I got to take you to bed.'

Without looking around, Elizabeth smiled and shook her before slipping through the door to an empty corridor. Strolling through her city, back to her quarters Elizabeth reflected on how she had allowed herself to fall in love with him in the first place. He was everything that Elizabeth had warned herself off as a youth, watching from the window; book in hand, as her friends had rushed off to meet their dates. Dates just like John Sheppard, with the charisma, the charm and the looks which inevitably left her friends' hearts broken. She had told herself then, as she told herself now, that she was better off out of it, with a book in hand.

Yet, she couldn't help but ponder the possibility that behind the charisma, the charm and the looks, John Sheppard was different. Perhaps that why she found herself returning to John Sheppard's quarters under the pretence of borrowing a Johnny Cash CD. Perhaps that's why she ended up listening to the CD lying in bed, in the dark, with John Sheppard beside her.

The End