Supernatural Season 8 "In Limbo"


A/N: So I'm getting a lot of hits and views ... BUT no reviews... What gives? I need to know if readers like this or not and I need to know what people think about my ideas... Is there to much or not enough of "crazy Sam"? Do the things Sam's halucinating in this story fit well with the show? (I think it fits well with how REAL mental illness works, but I need to know what viewers of the show and readers of this story think) (P.S. I don't think Sam is really mentally ill although he's never really been the picture of mental health as he has kind of been seeing things that weren't really there since Season 1 ... For example: in Season 1 at the end of Episode 5 "Bloody Mary" Sam saw Jessica on the side of the road. Then there's the whole premonition dreams thing he had going on (something like that would drive most people straight off the deep end) Then in Season 2 Episode 9 "Croatoan" that one chick tried to infect Sam with the virus but Sam "seemed" immune as who knbows whether or not it didn't effect him somehow? (I believe that even though his blood appeared "normal" and uneffected by the virus that the Croatoan virus did effect Sam and I believe that this episode is the real beginning of Sam's uncontrollable anger issues and his downward spiral towards demon blood addiction.. So it's quite possible that crap is still effecting him and it may be a factor to what happened to his mind after the wall broke.) another example is when Sam was detoxing from the demon blood in Bobby's panic room Sam saw all kinds of freaky crap and some of it might have been caused by the blood but some of it just might have been caused by something that was already wrong with Sam's mind. One last thing is I don't think Sam's physcic abilities are really gone just dormant... Something bent that spoon in Season 7 Episode 7 "The Mentalist" as I know I watched the spoon go from straight to bent after Sam merely looked at it (and the guy who claimed he was a spoonbender was a fake and the spooon was still straight AFTER he left so it WAS NOT the spoonbender guy (I honestly believe it was Sam and if Sam's physcic abilities ARE still in play then ... Who knows what kind of number that could have done (could still do) to Sam's mind?) Just some food for thought...)


"Losing grip on reality."

Sam picked The Amulet off the floor and held it to his chest and began to cry as he realized he had failed to find Dean, failed to bring Dean home. He started to mourn his loss as he realized he would never see his big brother again.

Sam started to clutch at his left temple again as he held The Amulet tight with his other hand and slid back down it the corner to curl in on himself as he started to mutter and rock again occaisionally hitting himself in the left temple with the heel of his hand.

Dean was profoundly disturbed by the state his brother was in and not caring for the medical attention his own mind and body needed he went through the cabin removing all things Sam could try to hurt himself with because he couldn't handle another heart stopping moment like the one he'd had earlier when Sam picked up the gun.

Once all the dangerous items were out of Sam's reach Dean went over to Sam and reached down to pull him to a stand, but Sam only pulled away and gave a small frightened wimper that broke Dean's heart. So Dean went down to Sam's level keeping his hands to where Sam could see them and whispered "I just want to help okay?"

"YOU'RE NOT REAL!" Sam violently screamed "I'm going to find my brother, you can't stop me!"

Now Sam was muttering again "I just want him back, I just want my brother back!" Sam started to bawl again as he chocked out "I want Dean!"

"Okay... We'll find Dean." Dean stated calmly.

Sam gave Dean a confused look as Dean said "I want to help you find him."

Sam shook his head like he couldn't have possibly heard right and he shot a glare at the corner where Lucifer stood and growled "What kind of new trick is this?... Make me think that the crap you're making me see suddenly wants to be nice?... What you gonna do huh? Make him my best buddy until he convinces me to put a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger?"

Dean didn't know how Sam's hallucination answered and he didn't want to know, but if he was going to get his little brother back he knew he had to use everything he knew about mental illness to his advantage, which honestly wasn't a lot, but he had to try or he was going to lose Sam. So, he took a deep calming breath and said soothingly "I'm the part of yourself that wants you to find Dean." He knew he was taking a huge risk by playing himself off as a part of his little brother's pshyce but Dean had faith that he knew enough about Sam and about how his little brother's mind worked to pull it off and make Sam listen to him.

"If you're a part of me..." Sam gestured to his self "Then WHY do you look like a Dean that's been through Hell? "

Dean hadn't been expecting that one and flew by the seat of his pants with "Because you need Dean, but the only way your going to get him back is to listen to the part of yourself that wants you to find him and since you know you'll listen to Dean, you see Dean and I look like Hell because you're afraid he's hurt and this gives you a visual to feed that sense of urgency that will ground you and make you focus on listening to me and ignoring whatever Lucifer is throwing at you."

Sam looked at the Dean that stood before him. It was entirely feasable to him that if there was a part of his mind that was conjuring bad things that there might be a part of his mind that could fight back and make him see good things, a part of his mind that would want to give him a reason to live, a reason to fight the growing insanity.

"Okay." Sam said. "If you're here to help. What should I do now?"

"You should take care of yourself. You know, take a bath, eat something maybe get some sleep before you burn yourself out because you're no good to Dean if you kill over before you find him." Dean replied feeling wierded out about how he was continuously reffering to himself in the third person.

Sam shrugged and brought himself to a stand saying "Okay. Yeah, that's... I think that's a good idea."

Dean felt relief wash over him as Sam headed for the bathroom. He felt like he was starting to get through to Sam. Now if only he could make Sam understand that he's not a hallucination...

Once Sam was cleaned up, fed and asleep Dean started tending to his own injuries as he knew that if something happened to him then Sam would be left alone to the tortures of his deteriating sanity. Then he started to do some research of his own. First he looked over the ritual Sam had performed to get him home and found that even though his little brother was nuts he wasn't stupid because translating it was complicated enough and the magic was some high level stuff that would take someone who knew what they were doing to be performed acurately and this gave Dean hope that Sam wasn't as far gone as he seemed. Second Dean looked through every book he could manage trying to find out everything he could about normal mental illnesses and mental illnesses that were caused by supernatural occurances.

When Dean woke up he found his face stuck to the pages of the book he'd last been reading... Then he heard a noise and realized what had woken him... Sam was having a nightmare, instinctively Dean was at Sam's side, but the second he touched Sam all hell broke lose.

Sam bolted awake with a wild panic lingering in his eyes as Dean tried to sooth him. Now Sam shot to the other side of the room and screamed "How did you touch me?!"

Dean wanted to slap himself upside the head because he realized Sam still thought he wasn't real, so he lied saying "I'm a part of you Sam." Well it wasn't entirely a lie.

"The other things I've been seeing can't touch me." Sam stated.

"The things you're seeing aren't a part of you the way I am, they're just your mind's way of filtering what happened in The Cage." Said Dean and he hoped he was right.

Sam nodded and seemed to accept what Dean was saying.

Now Dean knew he had an opening to find out what exactly Sam and been dealing with and he knew he needed to take it as he said "You know if you talk about The Cage, what you're seeing now that you're out and how all of that makes you feel out loud it might help make you see the hallucinations less?"

He knew then that Sam would believe he was a part of his own psyche because "real" Dean hardly ever wanted to talk about feelings but it was a necessary evil as Dean needed to hear it no matter how hard it would be.

"WIth who?, You?, You're not even really here so what good's it gonna do?" Sam asked.

"It gets it off your chest without the embarassment." Said Dean.

Sam shrugged and nodded as he said "I really am losing grip on reality. Where should I start?"

"Try starting with what you're seeing. I'm here to listen and to help you start thinking straight because you have to get your head together if you're going to find Dean." Dean replied and it wasn't a lie because if Sam never believed he was real than "Dean" would stay lost forever even though "real" Dean was really here now and he'd never willfully leave Sam's side again...

Sam sighed, ran his fingers through his hair and started to pace then he looked at Dean and said "I guess I'm seeing this part of myself as Dean because these are things I know I need to say to him but I just don't want to burden him with?" in an inquisitive tone.

Dean only nodded in response and Sam continued with: " Okay, that makes sense. I think." then he let out a heavy breath and said " Okay..Here it goes..."

"I've been seeing my mom and my dad and they keep telling me it's my fault they're dead, that if I'd never been born they both could be alive and happy right now and that it's my fault Dean was robbed of his mother, his father and his childhood. Dad tells me that I was never good enough to be his son and that's one of the reasons why he hates me.."

"I've also been seeing different variations of Dean. A Dean that tells me it's my fault he died and went to hell, another Dean that has black eyes that blames me for becoming a demon, a Dean that tells me I don't deserve him and I know he's right because I've never been a good enough brother to Dean."

"I sometimes see Adam and he blames me for being in Hell now cause I pulled him into The Cage with me."

"I sometimes see Cas and he calls me an abomination."

"Mom, dad, Dean, Adam, Cas, they all tell me I'm evil and that I deserve Hell, that I don't deserve to get out of The Cage."

Sam now curled up in the corner again muttering "I'm evil, I'm evil, I'm evil." over and over again and nothing Dean did for the rest of the day could bring Sam out of it.

As the sun began to set Dean sat in the floor, hoping the contact didn't send Sam over the edge again he brought the still distraught Sam to his chest and carded a hand through his brother's hair and whispered "Try to rest now Sammy." then he began to sing "Hey Jude, don't make her cry. Take a sad song and make it better."...

Dean kept singing until Sam finally stilled in his embrace only an hour before the sun rose again.

After Sam fell asleep Dean curled up around his little brother and allowed himself to rest as well.