Author's Note: I feel the need to apologize profusely to all of you that have put this story on alert. I began writing it while I had ample free time, but in the time since finishing and posting the first story, I received a bit of a promotion at work and have doubled my working hours. I'm finally getting back into a rhythm with things, so updates should come more frequently. This chapter is a little on the short side, but don't fret. As we progress, things will definitely pick up.
With that being said, thank you SO much for any feedback given so far. Whether you've written a review, added the story to alert, or anything along those lines... just thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know we're only two chapters in so far, but I hope you guys keep enjoying what I've written. Please keep reading and reviewing, I will start responding to reviews this week!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Big Time Rush or any of the characters.
It wasn't the first night Kendall didn't get a good night's sleep since the break-up, but it was definitely the most annoying. He was able to shake off most restless nights, knowing that James was in a whole different world away from him. But now, he was back. Kendall was frustrated that he didn't have a choice, that he couldn't escape from James this one time. Normally, a flip of the radio or a click of the TV could solve the problem, but it was going to take more than that this time around.
As his alarm clock buzzed loudly at 6:30 AM right on the dot, Kendall's fist collided with the top of the unit to silence it. He lazily swung his body to the edge of the bed, sitting up and yawning before slowly standing up and heading for his closet. He slipped on a faded pair of jeans, a black t-shirt, a button up flannel plaid shirt, and a red beanie before going to the bathroom to finish his morning routine. After strolling out of the bathroom five minutes later, Kendall cooked himself some bacon to go with eggs and toast, sitting at the table to catch up on some of his morning e-mails on his phone. He scrolled through, answering quick questions about scheduling private parties or signing up for skating lessons, but his mind wandered off once again. The churning and bubbling of emotions laying in the pit of his stomach becoming more apparent as each second passed, the tapping of his fingertips on the touchscreen becoming more intense as the thoughts rolled through his mind.
A text interrupted his typing spree, jolting him back to the real world. It was only a reminder from his younger sister, Katie, that she was already at the rink, waiting for Kendall to come unlock the gates so she could start preparing for her lessons. He groaned and finished up his meal, tossing the dishes quickly in the sink before wiping his mouth with a napkin, grabbing his duffel and heading out the back door.
The radio was quiet as he drove back to the rink, pushing every thought of James out of his mind. I have to focus, he thought. He can't throw me off like this, he's nothing to me. The tranquility of the ride was interrupted then by Kendall's phone, a bright photo of Carlos lighting up the screen before he unlocked it.
"Hello?"
"So it's true, it's really true?" Carlos shouted enthusiastically, almost on the brink of sounding truly excited. Kendall could only stifle a groan.
"Yep. Diamond's back in town."
"But why? I thought he was all busy with his new album or whatever."
"You think I know? Carlos, you know I am the LAST person to ever keep up with him."
"I know, I know. But it's not like you've been able to avoid him completely. He's on TV, on the radi-"
"Carlos! I know! No need to remind me."
"Sorry, dude. Just trying to figure this all out myself. Logan has a few theories but they were so long and I was trying to work on a lesson plan, he knows how easily I lose focus!"
Kendall chuckled, shaking his head as he wondered how Logan and Carlos managed to balance each other out without getting on each others' nerves.
"Well, I doubt I'll see him anytime soon. I kinda made it known I didn't want him hanging around."
"Kendall, seriously. When has James ever taken no for an answer?"
He paused, sighing into the phone, knowing the answer.
"Look, I'd love to talk this out more but if I don't get coffee before this class, I'm going to die. Literally just die, Kendall."
"I'll keep you updated then, Carlos. Have a good day."
"You too, don't let him get to you more than he already has."
The call ended and Kendall remembered everything that happened. His grip on the steering wheel relaxed, his shoulders slumping back against the car seat, finally allowing himself to take a deep, relaxed breath. He parked in his usual parking space, taking his sweet time grabbing his bag before strolling up to his younger sister, who was leaning against the brick wall of the complex.
"Are you ever going to remember I teach every week, same day, same time?" Katie spat, a bit annoyed. Kendall chuckled, sorting through the silver keys on his keyring as she continued babbling his ear off. "Unlike you, I have to prepare myself to teach my students, I can't just ride on the fact that I was some high school wunderkind!"
"Do you even know what that means?" Kendall laughed, sliding the key into the door, opening it to let the two of them inside.
"Yes, jeez! Do you still think I'm ten?" Katie rolled her eyes, heading to the bench near the rink.
"Look, it's not easy realizing you're growing up!" Kendall stated, swinging his bag down onto the floor, leaning against the rink wall. "Trust me, hold onto these years as best you can. Don't waste them on things you'll regret later."
Katie stopped lacing her skates up, staring up at her older brother.
"I thought you were over this..." She frowned a bit. "Or should I say, over hi-"
"Don't even start with that!" Something snapped within Kendall again and this time, he couldn't keep it all in. "I'm just saying that you need to consider all your choices! Don't do something just to make someone else happy, focus on yourself first!"
Katie just chuckled, going back to lacing her skates up.
"I don't even know who I'm talking to anymore," she sighed, finishing up on her other skate before standing up, nearly meeting her brother's eye line. "The Kendall I know used to put everyone first. He actually cared."
As Katie unlocked the gate to the rink and took her first few strides on the fresh ice, Kendall stood frozen in place. His sister always had a way of putting things in the most simple of terms, bringing up points Kendall would shy away from. While others would sugarcoat the truth, she would tell it like it was - that was how Katie Knight handled any situation.
Kendall shook his head, leaning over to take his things before heading over to his office. He threw the bag in the same place he did yesterday, pressing a few buttons on a small stereo next to his desk. Some loud music from the local alternative station started to play, Kendall mumbling along as he plopped down in the old desk chair. Kendall waited for the old desktop as it took a few moments to turn on, the music calming the old thoughts once again. Leave it to Katie to rip open the old wounds even more than James had the night prior. His fingers took to typing once his documents had opened and Kendall worked the better part of the morning away, wishing for the first time since arriving home from Hollywood to be anywhere other than Minnesota.
He never would have guessed it, but working out some numbers in a spreadsheet really calmed Kendall's nerves. Feeling proud of himself for ignoring the painfully obvious feelings for as long as he did, he awarded himself to take a lunch break away from pressing matters, grabbing a pretzel from the rink's concession stand before climbing up the bleachers to the announcer's booth. As he dipped the salty bites into some nacho cheese sauce, he watched Katie with her class of youngsters, showing them basic skating techniques. He giggled to himself as some of the children scooted around the ice on their knees or backsides, his sister trying her hardest not to lose her temper. The pretzel was gone shortly after and Kendall groaned to himself, wishing he had grabbed at least one more.
However, his hunger problem was replaced with a bigger one as he watched James Diamond practically sashay onto the ice up to Katie, tapping her on the shoulder. She turned slowly, practically tripping back into the Plexiglas behind her as she realized who it was. Kendall ducked down slightly, trying to hide himself from the impending exposure of his current location. After composing herself, Katie sure enough pointed up to the booth, James thanking her with a big smile before expertly sliding off the ice, taking the bleacher stairs two at a time. Kendall went into panic mode, ducking under the small counter amongst the PA system wiring. He tilted his head back, knocking into the counter, causing the CD Katie had carefully chosen to skip loudly. He just sat there, sighing deeply, slowly starting to accept his fate.
As a pair of perfectly polished leather boots appeared on the floor in front of him, Kendall moved his gaze upwards. James still had that bright smile on his face, as if nothing Kendall had said or done the night previous had any effect on him. On the other hand, he did notice the new, but small, bruise along James' jaw which filled Kendall with some sort of strange satisfaction. James leaned down, offering his hand out to the other man.
"Come on, I don't think you can stay under there all day!" James practically giggled. Kendall scoffed, rolling his eyes.
"You don't know a thing about me anymore, got it?"
"Look, I'm just trying to help..."
"Well, stop!" Kendall shouted, finally freeing himself from the twisted wire confines of the booth, standing up to face his ex-bandmate. "I don't need your help and I definitely don't need you popping up in my life every fucking day!"
James stood there silently, just studying Kendall as his chest moved up and down, the rage from the previous day's events seeping into the current argument. The tension remained as Kendall placed his palms on the counter behind him, leaning back slightly.
"Just..." Kendall sighed, rubbing his face as he composed himself. "Just tell me why you're here."
"Well, do you want the whole story or what?" James finally spoke, his glossy facade broken for the first time since he'd arrived back in his hometown. Kendall moved his hands back to the counter, meeting James' gaze once again. The smile was gone, replaced by firm straight lips. His eyes were soft, no longer holding the joyous hazel color Kendall had known so well.
"I guess..." Kendall trailed off, hoping to stop James' sudden interest in the old rink. "But I'm busy today, I can't just take off from my job whenever I want like some people."
"Look, message received." James held up his hands in front of him. "I just want to talk. Like friends. We were friends once, remember? Hockey, best buds, Big Time Ru-"
"Yes, I remember! Christ, do you think I'm stupid?" Kendall's emotions were flowing from one extreme to the next. "Tomorrow, noon, that cafe down by Logan's old place. Think of what you want to say because I'm only giving you an hour."
James nodded solemnly, reaching for his phone to type in the time and place. "It's a date."
His lips twisted into another signature James Diamond smirk, but he knew better to duck this time when Kendall took a swing.
