The following morning came sooner than Gibbs had liked, but at least he could have an eye on Tony at work.

Tony arrived a little after Gibbs and it seemed like that he hadn't gotten much rest, if the look on his face was anything to go by.

After mumbling a 'hey, Boss', Tony had started to work quietly and soon was joined by McGee and Ziva. Those two knew that Tony was more distant these days and every day they would try to tease him to see if he was doing better, but every time Tony would answer only half-heartedly and his smiles and grins would never reach his eyes.

The thing was that he had somehow given up on pretending; he was too tired to make too much effort. He might've been spent many times before, but he'd never really been ready to just give up. This time, though...

Tony could remember his own words to Maria Castro when she'd blamed herself for the thing that had happened to her friend in Colombia. He'd told her that she couldn't put that kind of weight on herself.

Castro was the only person to whom Tony had talked about the heavy burden that he was carrying around every day. He'd never admitted that out loud, and since that day he couldn't stop thinking about his own words.

Now he felt like he was close to that breaking point that he'd told Castro about; the day that he wouldn't be able to move anymore.

He'd almost reached that point many times before, but every time he'd pushed himself further and had found another thing to cling to, so he could keep going.

Now though; now, he couldn't really bother to look for another reason; for something to grasp to keep himself from falling.

He was exhausted.

He knew it was stupid, but he felt guilty for not wanting to talk to his father; the man had tried to call him a couple of times but Tony wouldn't answer his calls and couldn't help but feel bad about it.

He was also mad again at himself for talking too much.

He'd read the copy of his performance appraisal review in which Gibbs had mentioned that Tony talked too much. Tony had been hurt and by default he'd started to talk even more. Gibbs had kept throwing it into his face that he didn't appreciate it; and when he'd finally stopped, Gibbs had told him that he didn't like it but he depended on his 'Yabba Yabba'. Tony had smiled and buried everything, that day, like he'd always done, but the hard feelings was still there.

He knew that he was probably being too sensitive, but he was tired. Maybe Gibbs was right, maybe if he didn't talk that much, things would turn out fine.

He was the only one at fault for everything.

He couldn't resist blaming himself for his problems; for the things that had happened in the past; for the way his father and everyone else treated him; for every mess that kept happening around him; for all the people he couldn't help or even for the death of his friends and partners.

It was too late for him; he couldn't stop carrying that burden now and he was dangerously close to the point where he would stop altogether; where he couldn't move anymore; where he'd just crash and burn under the pressure.

He'd thought about seeing someone and talking to a professional about his problems, but there wasn't a thing that a shrink could tell him that he didn't already know.

So he decided to do what he always did when he felt he was on the edge of losing it all; Keep going and busying himself with the job.

He might be too tired to put too much effort into it, but he still could go on and would do it until he couldn't anymore. One step at a time.

The shrill ring of his cellphone cut into his thoughts. "DiNozzo." He answered the phone.

The fact that he wouldn't answer his calls with his normal 'Very special agent Anthony DiNozzo' hadn't gone unnoticed by the others.

"Hey. Uh-huh... What?... Where?... OK, we'll be right there." He cut the line and grabbed his gear while announcing that they had two dead bodies.

"And why did they call you, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You might wanna check your cell phone. Apparently it's off." Tony said in lieu of reasoning.

Gibbs frowned, but checked it and threw it to Tony before heading to the elevator.

...

The crime scene was a wide field; the bodies belonged to two men and both were bruised, bloodied and shirtless.

Once there, they all started to do their tasks but stopped when they heard Tony's sharp intake of breath and curse.

"You know him?" Tim asked.

"Yes." Tony answered quietly, still staring at one of the bodies.

"And?" Gibbs asked when Tony didn't elaborate.

Taking his eyes from the body on the ground, Tony looked up at his Boss. "He was one of my informants."

Ziva and Tim exchanged a look but chose to remain silent.

"When was the last time you heard from him?" Gibbs asked.

"It's..." Tony tried to remember. "Well, it's been at least 3 months now."

"You sure? Maybe you should check your cellphone." McGee suggested. "Last time you knew a victim it was your former partner and he'd left a message on your voicemail before dying."

"In case you haven't noticed, I have my cellphone right here with me and I think I know how to check my messages, McFlawless." The venom in Tony's voice made McGee visibly flinch. He clearly had hit a nerve and instantly felt bad for saying those words.

Glaring angrily at the junior agent, Gibbs made a mental note to talk to Tony about that. The younger man didn't need to blame himself for his old partner's death again and he sure didn't need to blame himself for his informant's death.

"So that means you can't tell us about what he'd been involved in?"

Tony only shook his head and got back to work, not uttering another word. He heard Gibbs growling at McGee for his inappropriate comment, saying that it was past the time for the junior agent to grow up and keep his mouth shut when necessary.

...

Later they identified the dead marine as Lieutenant James Andrews and after interviewing his wife they realized that James and Adam, Tony's informant, had been friends for some time now. Andrews' wife told them that they weren't supposed to be in DC. They had left the city to go to Richmond for some kind of reunion; or that was what she'd been told.

She was devastated by the news of her husband's death, but that didn't stop her from mentioning that he'd been acting weirdly lately.

The good thing was that Adam didn't have any close family; Tony thought that he had a girlfriend, but turned out that they had broken up a few months prior.

That night, Tony didn't leave the office and when Gibbs saw him the next morning he looked terrible, but the older man kept his comments to himself. They had a case to solve and Gibbs knew how important it was to Tony but despite all their efforts, every lead they had, would turn out to be a dead end.

By the second night Gibbs forced Tony to leave the office. There simply was no way he'd let Tony run himself to death just because he knew the victim, and he was sure that Tony would do that if he didn't stop him.

Gibbs was tempted to get Tony to his place, but considering what had happened the last time Tony had been to his place, he decided against it. He needed to solve the mystery and figure out what was bothering Tony and as soon as this case was closed, he'd get everything out of Tony, one way or another. He couldn't step aside and watch his best agent crash and burn.

He came back to office sooner the next morning, determined to find a lead to solve the case; but there still was nothing. They had a suspect and knew that he was the culprit, but had no solid evidence against him.

Sometime around 0730 McGee and Ziva stalked into the bullpen; that wasn't unusual for them, but what was unusual was that Tony hadn't arrived yet. Gibbs was sure that the younger man would show up around 0600 or 0630, at the latest, but it was almost 0800 and there was still no sign of Tony.

Gibbs thought that maybe he'd finally run out of whatever that was pushing him forward and the exhaustion had pulled him under. That would be a good thing since Tony seemed to be getting less and less sleep and rest, recently. So, Gibbs decided to give it another hour before calling him.

They all worked in silence for the next hour or so but when Gibbs checked his watch and saw that it was a few minutes past 9, he started to get worried. Grabbing his badge and gun he left the office to get to Tony's place.

Something was wrong. He just knew it.

.

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... TBC ...


A/N: Cliffhanger! Let me know what you think? :)

Many things got cleared in this chapter! Guess you can see where this story is heading, now! (Check the first chapter's 'A/N' for the reference!)

Thanks for all your reviews, guys. I'm SO sorry I couldn't thank you one by one for the last chapter. I wasn't at home for a few days and didn't have internet access; I just got home and thought you'd probably prefer to read the next chapter!

Thanks again.

Sorry for any mistakes!

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