"Baby," my wife's voice comes floating out of our hotel bedroom.
I'm standing in the living room of our honeymoon suite, looking out the window. I've been here for a while, slipped outta bed, leaving behind the gift I got for Nicole. I wanted her to have a minute by herself to look at it.
It's quiet out here, peaceful. It's still dark outside. The sky is that inky navy color I love. Matches the flowers we had at our wedding.
Nicole said they're called peonies. I had them in the buttonhole of my tux, same as Brendan and Nicole's brothers. Nicole had 'em in her bouquet along with white roses. The rest of her bridesmaids, a buncha cousins and friends I didn't meet 'til we started planning our wedding, were all decked out in silver dresses. They were carrying peonies too.
Normally I don't give a shit about things like flowers, but I picked those out. All I had to do was smell 'em to know. They used to be the flowers Ma loved. Reminded me of her right off the bat. We had 'em all over the house, the only pretty thing we owned after we ran. Ma loved to decorate, but peonies were all we could afford. Even after they died, she used to flip 'em upside down and dry 'em out. They still looked pretty, even with the color gone.
Ma woulda liked to help out with planning Nicole and my wedding, woulda been proud of me for getting married in a church. Never saw myself doing that, going along with all those fruity bells and whistles. But I didn't mind doing it for Nicole. I maybe even liked some of it.
Still, she hadta work pretty hard sometimes, convincing me to go to cake tastings and fabric stores. It wasn't that I didn't wanna do it, but she's got the good tastes. I wanted her to have the wedding she wanted. I figured women dream of that their whole lives, have it planned right outta high school. Not Nicole. She knew just about as much as I did. Said she always thought more about the man she wanted to marry than the actual wedding.
Still can't believe that man is me. The new ring on my finger keeps reminding me though.
I spin it around, thinking 'bout what a pain in the ass it was, planning this thing. If it was upta me, we woulda ran out that week I proposed, tied the knot somewhere where only Pop and Brendan and her family woulda seen us. I didn't need cake or flowers or any of that shallow shit. I just need Nicole.
But I wasn't gonna do that to her, take away the white wedding she deserved. So I went with her while we hauled around, picking shit out.
It took a coupla months of wading through fabric stores and flower shops and looking at ribbons and going to fittings and listening to everybody's opinions on everything under the sun, but we got married last week, April 12th, in a church in Bristol.
It was a big, old-fashioned kind of church. The whole thing, all those fancy marble statues and altars and pews, was covered in navy and silver, me and Nicole's favorite colors. The light was streaming in through huge stained glass windows, making everything look like something outta painting. I didn't think it was gonna look anything as nice as that, even with saleswomen going on and on about how "magical" the whole thing was gonna be.
Guess they made me eat my words 'cause I had a pretty good time standing up at the front of the church with my brother looking on. He asked me if I was ready for what was 'bout to happen. Didn't take any thought at all 'fore I nodded.
Some guys told me they got cold feet, started second guessing on their wedding day.
I was scared it was gonna happen to me. But the only thing I felt was happiness.
I didn't care that I had to wear a tux, didn't care that people were staring at me, that I was gonna haveta rub elbows with people I didn't know.
From the minute the piano began and I saw Nicole coming down the aisle, that's all I cared about.
Nicole's huge family, all her cousins and friends and aunts and uncles and grandparents and coworkers, were packed on her side and trickling over to mine. Didn't have too much as far as family on my side. Brendan was standing up next to me, and Pop was sitting out with Tess and the girls in the audience. But my whole regiment showed up, Drew and Chris and all the boys, and Pilar and the kids came.
It didn't matter too much to me that I didn't have as many people come as Nicole. I ain't got that many close friends, but the ones I have mean a lot to me. I'd rather have people I care about there, than people who are just there to eat the free food and drink all the booze. But all those people, the ones I love and the ones I ain't even met yet, whipped their heads 'round to the back when Nicole came in on her dad's arm.
Her dress was white of course, and long, one of them princess looking gowns with no straps and a pretty skirt. She had these tiny little beads sewn in at the top in these little intricate patterns. My favorite part though, was a big navy blue ribbon and bow around her waist. I always thought Nicole was too interesting for just white. Her dress matched the ring I got her.
I almost locked my knees and passed out waiting for her to get down the aisle. Barely heard a thing the priest was saying, I was so busy looking at her. Her dark hair was piled all on top of her head and she had a veil set up there, held in by a pretty silver and navy hair thing. Nearly stopped breathing, just staring at her. She gripped my hands real hard the whole time, like she was tryna anchor herself down. I don't think she stopped smiling for a second.
We said the traditional wedding vows, them ones you hear in movies 'bout for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. I ain't exactly Shakespeare, and she knows it. Took enough effort to not stumble through the regular ones and besides, I think they said it best. Still, my voice shook a little bit when I started saying the words.
"I, Thomas Conlon," sounded weird hearing my full name. Ain't no one on Earth that calls me Thomas. "Take you, Nicole Ryan, to be my lawfully wedded wife…"
It sounded real technical, like a business merger. But I guess, in way, it kinda was. I'm giving up being just me, and she's giving up being just her, so we can be a couple. "To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, so long as we both shall live." It was easy saying them. We've been through most of that already and we weren't even married then.
Nicole started off saying the words perfectly, the way she says everything. I don't think anyone noticed the tears in her eyes 'cept me. But when she got to the "for better or for worse" part, her voice wobbled a little bit. But the tears she was crying were her happy ones, the tears I first saw the night I proposed.
She don't bring 'em out a lot, only when I get sappy. I squeezed her hand tighter, smiled at her, let her know that I was as happy hearing them words coming outta her mouth as she was hearing me say 'em.
I had a shit eating grin on the whole damn time. I know that friend of hers, Gavin, has got pictures and video of it somewhere. By the time we got to the reception it had already leaked online that UFC star Tommy Conlon wed ESPN reporter Nicole Ryan. I didn't give a shit. Let 'em all know she's officially mine forever. I'm the happiest I've ever been.
I probably shouldn't have kissed her that hard in a church with all our family watching, probably shoulda paid more attention to how the prime rib tasted, or how the champagne was, or if the cake looked the way we thought it would. I probably shoulda rubbed shoulders more with the guests, thanked more people for coming out. It woulda been classier, maybe, if we hadn't shoved the cake into each other's faces and then kissed it off. But I didn't hear Nicole complaining, and that's all that matters.
She let her hair down at the reception, let those curls I love go wild as we danced. Made me nervous, having to slow dance in fronta everyone, but the minute she wound her arms around my neck I stopped thinking so much. Her dress was cool and smooth as silk, hugging those curves of hers, rippling around as she moved. She let me pick the song. Took a helluva long time. I was afraid she wasn't gonna like it. She's an R&B kinda woman, likes those slow jams and that baby making music. But she danced with me to Incubus' Dig like she was born to do it.
I know she was listening hard to the words. The first time I told her it was the song I wanted, she pulled it right up on the computer. It was embarrassing as hell, sitting there with her, listening to all them sappy words that remind me of her.
The words ain't exactly traditional. Tess told me it was depressing as shit. But she don't get it, didn't live my life. The song's 'bout redemption. And I ain't never had that 'til I met Nicole. All them words 'bout forgiveness and healing, that's what Nicole is to me. She's the only thing that makes me feel better when I have a flashback or a fight with my family or start thinking 'bout the shit that I've seen. I wanted her to know that, so I picked a song that said it outright.
She almost started crying right then and there, but instead, she just dove into my arms and kissed me.
She packs a lot of force for a woman, knocked me right on my ass.
Her brothers came in and saw her crying and straddling me on the floor. That was a hard one to explain.
I start smiling thinking about it, playing the words over in my head, thinking 'bout my wife in my arms.
If I turn into another, dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me.
Sing this song. Remind me that we'll always have each other, when everything else is gone.
Oh each other, when everything else is gone…
The lyrics are sappy, girly maybe, but it's how I feel. And maybe I wasn't comfortable saying it in fronta everyone, but I could let someone else sing it.
Could barely hear the song, the blood was pounding in my ears so hard. Besides, Nicole just kept leaning up and whispering so soft that only I could hear her, "I love you, Tommy, I love you."
Might be the nicest thing I'll ever hear.
"Baby?" she says again. Her voice is still husky and sleepy. I know she woke up looking for me. I turn around and she's standing there, wrapped up in a white silk robe that was a bridal gift.
She got piles of lingerie for our wedding. Seems like she brought a whole suitcase of it.
Mighta been a waste, considering it's been 12 hours since either of us had on any clothes.
We've been going almost non-stop since I carried her over the threshold to our house a few days ago.
It was convenient that we didn't fly out to our honeymoon right away, 'cause I finally got to wine and dine my wife's socks off, like I promised all those months ago.
I figured the night to try my hand at being all romantic is my wedding night, so I put rose petals around our house and up the stairs to our bedroom. I put a little surprise for her in every room. Kitchen had champagne, living room had chocolate covered strawberries, bedroom had candles. The catch was that she had to take something off to get her present. First it was the veil, then that gorgeous flowy dress.
Nearly killed myself chasing her up the stairs when I gotta look at what she had on underneath.
It was white, from head to toe, almost glowing against her coppery skin. Had one of them corset things on, pushing her breasts up, and barely there lace panties and garters attached with them sexy clip things. I had caught a peek at it at our reception, when I tossed the more traditional garter she had on for the wedding. Ain't nothing prim and proper 'bout what she was wearing for our wedding night, thank God.
I caught her up in the bedroom, made her lay down on the bed and drink champagne while I went around lighting all them candles. I liked teasing her, liked those lustful, dark looks she was shooting me, liked watching her eat all slow and sexy.
Musta kissed every inch of her that night. She was practically shaking by the time I got around to pulling my pants off. She nearly ripped the buttons off my shirt, tryna get 'em undone as fast as she could. Her hands ripped at my belt buckle, the new platinum band on her finger sitting next to the engagement ring. She had my pants off and on the floor 'fore I even knew what was happening, but when I went to take my dress shirt and tie off she stopped me.
"Leave it on," she grabbed the tie, running her hand up to the top and then to my face. Didn't know her voice could get that husky, or that her bossin' me around could turn me on so much.
"Yes, Mrs. Conlon," I reached down for her and she nearly came apart right there. She wrapped her legs 'round my waist and with one hand 'round my neck and the other jerking my silver tie down, she pulled me into her.
Took a lot of effort to go slow, to tease her right to the edge and then stop before she fell over.
I wanted it to last, wanted her to feel every second of it, every sensation, every inch. She kept my face real close to hers, so our foreheads were touching, so she could kiss me whenever she wanted, as deeply as she wanted. I could hear her better that way, hear her panting that she loved me, moaning my name.
"I love you, Nicole Conlon," I told her. "I love you, my wife."
Me saying that was all it took. She clenched around me tight, screaming, practically crying.
I ain't never seen her fall apart like that, but it's been my goal to make it happen again and again, for the last few days. So far, I'm succeeding.
Didn't think the sex could get any better than it already was, but there's something 'bout it—something 'bout holding her and knowing for sure I'm the only one who ever will, that kicks it up that much more.
She's like a goddess, sliding into the shower with me, or waking me up in the middle of the night or pulling me aside while we're out and about. She can't get enough, and I'm happy to help her out. It ain't like I'm not doing the exact same thing to her.
Right now, she's holding what I left her: that little black leather book Brendan gave me.
Took me a while to get it ready for her, 'specially 'cause I wanted to write down our wedding. All the pages are filled up now with my messy handwriting. I want my wife to have it, to read it. She's the main subject in it anyway.
"Mornin', sweetheart," I smile at her. It's nice, her being the first thing I see every morning.
"Good morning," she walks toward me naked, her bare feet making no sound on the floor.
I wanna touch her, run my hands over every inch of her smooth skin.
"I got your gift," she tells me. She sets the book down on a side table and stretches her arms out toward me. I smile at her, reach for her. She takes my hand, the new rings on our fingers touching. We got matching bands now. It's a new feeling, having it on, but I like it.
I'm only gonna ever take it off for fights.
"Did you read it?" I ask her, kissing her temple. She nods, clutching at me. I can tell she's getting emotional by how hard she's breathing. Happens every time she's 'bout to cry.
I do what I always do to calm her down, rub circles along her back and pull her into my chest. She starts to calm down a little, but she leaves a tiny trail of tears on my bare chest. Took me a while to realize Nicole cries when she's real happy. I like them tears better than her sad ones.
"Thank you," she whispers into my chest. I know she wants to talk 'bout all those corny things I wrote about her, but she ain't gonna put me through that.
She knows I ain't no good at saying those things. That's why I gave her my book.
Now she's got it down in writing, how much she means to me.
I kiss her, tasting her minty, sweet mouth, taking my time. She sighs against my lips and massages my scalp.
"What are you doing out here?" she asks me, curling up against me. Her hair is all sleep mussed, but she looks damn sexy. I wanna carry her back into our bedroom, but I already got plans for this morning. It'll have to wait a coupla minutes.
"I want you to see somethin', sweetheart," I kiss her neck. She's still warm from bed. She wraps her arms around my neck and I pull her into my arms. I start carrying her to the balcony.
"Tommy," she laughs as I step outside. The cool morning air swirls in between the little bit of space between our bodies. "Did you forget that you're naked?"
I look down, "Nah." Kinda hard to forget when she's pressed right up against me.
She laughs harder. "No one's up yet, and even if they are, they can't see us from here."
I made damn sure of that when I booked the hotel for our wedding. I want it to just be me and my wife.
I walk us over to a deck chair and sit us down. She relaxes in my lap, melts into me. Always wanted to watch a sunrise with Nicole. The sun is just starting to come up over Venice. The canals below us are emerald green, deeper than the color of our lawn back in Bristol. Those boat things, the gondolas, are all tied up and waiting, bobbing like corks. I'm gonna take Nicole on one of those rides later. I know she'll want to get the camera, to go see everything. I'm looking forward to doing it with her.
The sky is colored pink and orange, almost coral. It's staining my wife's robe a light pinkish color. Nicole's eyes are as round as saucers watching it. Her smooth legs are twisted up around mine, but I still wanna be closer to her.
"You like it, Mrs. Conlon?" I pull her harder against me. She smiles when I call her that.
I'm starting to figure out that calling her my last name is the most effective form of foreplay I coulda ever come up with, for both of us.
She spins around in my lap 'til she's straddling me. I push my hands under her robe, running 'em across her thighs. She shudders and leans into me, resting her forehead against mine.
"Want to go sightseeing?" I ask her quietly.
"In a minute," she gets that mischievous look in her eye. "There's something I want to do more first." She don't waste any more time with words, just reaches down between us and grasps me. I'm more than ready for her.
It ain't slow or dignified, 'specially since we're in a deck chair, but that don't mean it ain't fantastic. I turn her around so we can both still see the sunrise. She reaches back, wraps her arm around my neck as I hold her steady 'round her waist. I'm tryna be gentle, but she don't want that. She arches her back, thrusting herself backwards into me. I know what she wants and I'm happy to give it to her.
She starts making noise, saying my name over and over and over again. Nothing I love more than hearing her say my name like that, all husky and breathy, like it's the only word she can remember.
I lean forward 'til I'm whispering right in her ear, telling her how much I love her, how beautiful she is, how happy I am that I'm with her. I whisper all the things I thought about her in that church, all the things I wanna do now that she's mine forever.
I tell her how I wanna have kids with her, make love to her like this 'til the day I die.
She starts shaking all over. I trail my free hand down her body, feeling her slick, smooth skin, 'til I get where I wanted to go. It don't take long with my hand down there 'til I feel her starting to climax. Her whole body shudders and she lets out this long kinda moan and tosses her head back, pressing as hard as she can into me. I'm happy to follow her. She collapses in my arms, and I catch her and pull her to me tight.
She keeps panting as the sun comes up and I keep right on telling her how much I love her.
I don't think I'm gonna ever get tired of saying it, or hearing her say it right back to me.
Takes some effort to get dressed and drag us both outta the hotel room. The minute we're out in the sun, feeling it warm our skin, Nicole takes the lead, pulling me by the hand to all those places she researched 'fore we got here.
I'm eating foods I ain't never heard of, stumbling through conversations that are a mix of Italian and broken English, posing for more pictures than I've ever taken in my life. When we get tired of walking around, we do get on one of those gondolas.
Some fruity looking guy in tight pants is steering us around. I don't think Nicole notices 'cause she's too busy taking pictures and telling me about all the old buildings we're passing, but the boat guy (or gondolier, according to my wife) is looking a little too hard at Nicole.
Don't take long before he pisses me off. I kinda want to shove him right out the damn boat, take the stick myself. It can't be that fucking hard.
I'm seriously thinking about it when my wife turns around and looks at me funny. I guess I've been thinking so hard that I forgot to respond to whatever she was saying. She takes one look at me and follows my eyes to where I'm glaring daggers at the fruity boat man. He's got the nerve to wink at her, say something slick in Italian. I'm 'bout to get up, but Nicole flips around, looks me straight in the eye.
"Tommy, I'm so glad I married you," she says it in her bedroom voice, so I know that even though Fabio can't understand the words, he knows damn well what's she's talking 'bout. 'Fore I can say anything back she yanks me into one of them deep kisses we don't ever do in public.
By the time she pulls away, I'm flushed and Fabio ain't smirking anymore.
I don't have no more problems listening to my wife talk about architecture. In fact, I kinda start enjoying the ride.
We have dinner, a mix of Italian foods that don't taste nothing like the stuff that passes for Italian back home. I've always been a meat and potatoes kinda guy, but the food over here is fighting to become my favorite. Neither Nicole or me are watching what we eat. We just shovel as much as we can in our mouths, sip as much wine as the waiter can bring us.
By the time we make it back to our suite, we're both laughing up a damn storm. Nicole keeps on making fun of me 'bout the boat guy. Now I know how she feels when women are looking at me. I ain't never noticed,'cept with Pilar, when women look at me, but Nicole sees it everywhere.
I tell her she ain't got nothing to worry 'bout.
"I know," she links her hand in mine as we head up to our room. The suite came with a damn private elevator. Never been one for all those frills rich people love having, but I gotta admit it's nice not having to share my wife with anyone. There's no cameras around, no people taking pictures of us doing regular shit, asking for autographs. I tryta be a good sport about it back in the States, but I think that if someone ran up on me now, I'd get pissed off pretty quick.
We kick our shoes off the minute we get in through the door. Our leftovers go in the fridge and Nicole walks straight to the couch and flops down. She pats the space next to her and I'm quick to follow. She curls up against me and we just sit down, content to be doing nothing for a little while. Feels good after so many months of running around.
In two weeks we'll be back on the grind, me in the gym and her in fronta the camera. It ain't like I mind too much, 'specially since we'll both be coming back to the same house at night. I love that house already, love the splashes of color Nicole added everywhere and the flowers we planted all over the yard. They should be blooming right when we get back. Still though, that big house is kinda empty with just the two of us.
"What are you thinking about?" Nicole stretches her lithe body out against me.
"Kids," I brush her curly hair back from her forehead.
"Already?" she smiles at me.
"Been thinkin' 'bout 'em since I met you, sweetheart," I start massaging her scalp.
"Do you want them now?" she sighs and closes her eyes.
"Do you?" I know I'm dodging the question. She opens one eye and looks at me, telling me to answer without using words. I take a deep breath. "Yeah, Nicole. I want 'em now."
She slowly untangles herself from me. I'm scared for a second that she's upset, that she thinks I'm pressuring her. But she just spins around 'til she's face to face with me. She braces her hands on my shoulder and slowly, her face breaks into a smirk.
"Then we better start trying for one then," she says matter-a-factly like we're talking 'bout the weather or going to the store. She then starts pulling her dress up over her head, real slow, wiggling around and putting on a show for me.
She's got some more of her bridal gifts on, but this one's jet black and there ain't nothing virginal 'bout it. My blood pressure starts spiking, but I wanna be clear we're on the same page.
"This is for real? We're gonna do this?" I know I sound stupid, but she just grins.
"I'll toss my pills out." To drive her point home, she reaches down, fiddles in her purse and then chucks something round and small across the room towards the trash can. Sounds like a maraca as it hits the side of the container.
"Technically," I tease her, "nothing can happen 'til tomorrow," I saw her take her pill this morning.
"Well, we better practice," she runs her hands along my thighs and leans forward to whisper in my ear. "We want to do this right." Her voice sends tingles down my spine.
I don't need more encouragement than that. She giggles as I yank her to me and lay her down.
We go another few hours without clothes on. Sightseeing can wait for a while.
This one took a while! I hope you guys all like it. Thanks for your feedback and please continue to let me know what you think.
