"Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man."

Friedrich Nietzsche


It scared Shizuko. It was scary to know that after all these years—he could still make her heart beat like crazy. It was scary knowing that deep in the corners of her walled up heart—some reminisce of her past still echoes the memories of her love. It was terrifying to feel the love that was once suppressed a long time ago was coming back tenfold. It was all terrifying yet at the same time comforting. Bittersweet people would say.

Shizuko looks out of the small window of her old home. Despite being worn with age, the structure of the house still held up and since Shizuko really didn't want to spend money on a hotel, she decided to just stay in her old home. The house was cold, lonely, and eerie. But the eerie silence the house echoed was much more comforting and welcomed than the frenzied beating of her confused heart.

She wraps the thick blanket around her body as she tries to close her eyes and fall asleep, but it was no use. Nothing could hold back the flash backs of her middle school life as she closes her eyes. It was everything her heart wanted and at the same time rejected. It was just like a sick twisted movie where everything is been put on fast forward but at the same time you could still see the pictures clearly. Whether good or bad—nothing could stop the images from racing in her mind's eye.


It was a sunny day that on Shizuko's first day at Namimori Middle School. It was quite an abrupt transfer in the middle of the school year and she was in no mood to talk to anyone. She sat at the last chair at the back, kept her head low, and avoided anyone that came a meter close to her. Simply nodding when asked or giving vague answers to their question. Eventually, they got the message and left her alone.

It's not like she didn't want to have friends. She did. But the incident last summer had made a strong impact in her life and, now, she desperately wanted to be alone.

She closes her eyes and tries to suppress the memories of that awful night three months ago. It hadn't been a good day for Shizuko and she decided to stay out later than usual. She always went to this small abandoned building near the ocean. She would stare out of the window and—when she felt like it—decided to sing songs she knew from heart.

It had been the third time she had missed curfew that week and when she went home that night at ten o'clock in the evening—the phone rang—and her world stopped.

Ever since that day, Shizuko had blamed herself for the death of her parents. If she wasn't out that night then her parents would have never went out and looked for her and they would've never killed by the drunken driver. If it wasn't for her…if only she had came home like promised…

A few tears escaped her eyes as she places her head on top of the table and kept the whimper and sobs to a minimal. Stupid, she had scolded herself. Do you think tears will bring them back?

But what she had thought to be the worst day in her whole life—having to transfer schools and house—a ray of sunshine had come to her that day.

In a form of a boy clad with sushi boxers and a flame shining brightly on his head.

It was at lunch time that she met him, Shizuko decided to eat lunch under a small tree just near the gate. It had been quite sudden for her and quite a shock. She was just opening the lid of her bento when the said boy came running towards her, shouting:

"I WILL CONFESS TO KYOKO WITH MY DYING WILL!"

In fact, it quite scared her to see a boy running at full speed towards her way, half-naked, and not to mention the flame on his head that didn't seem to consume him in a fiery ball of hell. She quickly brings up her legs to avoid giving the boy any obstacles. It had been a success as he sped by her in a flash but not before glancing towards her direction; she just raises an eyebrow in confusion.

Thinking nothing of it, she proceeded to break apart her chopsticks when the boy suddenly came back—running backwards too—stood in front of her, pulled her cheeks from both sides—making Shizuko's eyes widen—and shouted:

"SMILE WITH YOUR DYING WILL!"

And after that he ran back to his original route. Shizuko sat there with a blank look and cheeks red from the stretching. When the situation finally registered in her head—she let out a good hearty laugh.

And before she knew it, she had never had a sad day after that.

And slowly…

Very slowly…

She didn't want to spend another day away from the boy clad with sushi boxers.


Shizuko opens her eyes as tears started to form at the corner of her eyes. She quickly wipes away the tears and buries herself deeper into the comforting warmth that the blanket brought. She looks out of the window and—to her surprise—the night had turned to day and the birds had already started chirping.

"Ah," She sighs wistfully. "If only I fell in love with another guy…things could have been so much easier."

The sudden sound of knocking almost made her heart jump out of her chest. She slowly pulls the blanket away from her, puts on her slippers, and slowly walks towards the door. She opens up the door and stares at the person that had seemingly dropped in for an unannounced visit.

"Wow," She says in honest shock. "You were not the person I was expecting in the morning Fuuta."

He chuckles and rubs the back of his head. "W-Well, who were you expecting, Nee-chan?"

"Hmm," She leans on the doorframe and purses her lips in thought. "The pizza guy maybe…"

Fuuta chuckles and Shizuko smiles. "So, did you want me to give the seal of approval to your girlfriend?" If Shizuko was known for one thing then that would be the fact that she doesn't beat around the bush. She gets to the point without the slightest awareness of the atmosphere hanging above her. In short, she's dense with a smart-ass mouth.

Fuuta blushes lightly and laughs nervously. "N-No…it's not that."

Shizuko's eyes widen and a small smirk makes its way to her lips. "…Your boyfriend then?"

Fuuta sighs and shakes his head in exasperation. "You always come to weird conclusions Nee-chan…"

"True," She nods and motions for Fuuta to come in. "Why don't come on in? I have tea. Or I will once I make it."

He nods and steps into the small house as Shizuko walk towards the kitchen and prepares the kettle and some tea leaves. After all the preparation has been made, she brings the tray of tea into the living room where Fuuta was staying. She pours him and herself some tea, he says a small thank you, and she sits in front of him.

"So," She starts as she brings the cup to her lips and takes a small sip. "It's early in the morning, I look like a relative of one of the trolls, and I might have some dried drool on my face. Must be really important for Reborn to send you this early."

Fuuta smiles and tilts his head to the side. "I…err…"

Shizuko raises and eyebrow but waits for him to continue. Fuuta looks down at his tea, avoiding her eyes. "Reborn-san wanted me to come and talk to you…about the incident."

Shizuko bites her bottom lip and grips her cup a tinge tighter. She swallows the invisible something lodged in her throat and opens her mouth to answer. "There is no need to talk about the incident," The incident. The whole first year of high school of Tsuna and Kyoko issue. "I am completely over it." Lie.

"Err…" Fuuta looks up from his cup and smiles nervously. "Reborn-san said that if you say that, you were lying."

Shizuko sighs. Damn Reborn.

"Okay, I might be tinge—just a little bit, like a grain of sand really—not over it. But I'm working on it. I'm building the towers and patching up the cracks of my heart as we speak." Shizuko offers a smile but Fuuta doesn't respond, merely frowning at her.

"Reborn-san isn't all that bad Nee-chan," Fuuta offers but Shizuko couldn't help but agree. Despite Reborn's sadistic manner, he still had some admiring qualities. "He even said that this could be your chance to…err…patch things up with Tsuna-nii."

Shizuko raises an eyebrow. "Patch things up…?"

"Err…yeah…you know," Fuuta blushes a little bit. "Be a couple…and stuff…"

Shizuko's eyes widen for a bit before bursting out into laughter. Fuuta's mouth hangs open as Shizuko reaches towards him and ruffles up his light brown hair.

"Dear God, Fuuta you need to spend more time with Shamal." Fuuta blushes harder and Shizuko smiles slightly. "But, you know…I don't deserve happiness. Even if I do want to "patch things up" with Tsuna-kun…This is my punishment for what happened to my parents."

Fuuta's eyes widen as he tried to contradict what she had said but Shizuko quickly stops him.

"I believe in karma Fuuta…whether it be fleeting karma or eternal karma…Maybe," She closes her eyes and smiles sadly. "It was never meant to be in the beginning."

"But…nee-chan…" Fuuta tries but knowing well enough that the argument was already over.

Shizuko smiles and tilts her head to side. "Reborn never sent you here, did he?"

Fuuta chuckles. "How did you find out?"

"Because if it was Reborn," She says with a smirk. "He'd annoy me and sent someone at dawn instead." Fuuta smiles and nods, all to agreeing. "But all joking aside. Thank you for worrying about me." She held the cup up to her lips and smiles sadly. "It's nice to know that someone still cares about me out here." She whispers softly.

"Hmm…did you say something Nee-chan?" Fuuta asks, with a curious tilt of the head.

"Oh nothing," She takes a small sip. "Just talking to myself."


I replaced the last chapter with a revised version because I just felt like it was, "Meh" Whether you want to read that last chapter or not is completely up to you :D