"Was it hard?" I ask. "Letting go?"
"Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn't real."
Lisa Schroeder
"You sure this is okay Shizuko? This doesn't seem right." Gokudera stares at Shizuko sitting across him. He had not known as to why she had called him to pick her up, only to realize upon his arrival that Shizuko wasn't alone. Kyoko Sasagawa was with her, drinking tea and eating cake without a care in the world at a small cafe where Shizuko had instructed Gokudera where to go pick her up. Shizuko sat beside Kyoko, plastering on her fake smile as she conversed with the former school idol. And when Gokudera saw this, his blood had ran cold. No, he had no particular disdain for the former school idol but the thought that this girl was the same girl that brought the Vongola boss to tears-made his heart cold towards her. Even if she was the sister of his comrade.
"It's not about whether it's the right or wrong thing to do," Shizuko says calmly as she takes a small sip of tea. Kyoko had excused herself to the bathroom and the only ones left at the table were Gokudera and Shizuko. "It's about making Tsuna-kun happy."
"And you think this will?!" He hissed as he slams his fist harshly on the coffee table, prompting heads to turn to them.
Shizuko shrugs once again and smiles sadly. "Yeah...I think it will."
"Fuck," Gokudera curses out as he takes out a cigarette and lights it. "For someone whose graduating at the top of her class, you're a fucking idiot."
Shizuko's smile drops as she lightly glares at him. He ignores her weak glare and blows a puff of smoke. "I won't do it."
Shizuko frowns. "Gokudera..."
"Woman, don't give me that. I'm not doing it because I don't want to, I'm not doing it because of the Tenth." Gokudera spats as Shizuko's eyebrows furrow.
"So, you're purposely trying to make Tsuna-kun miserable...for Tsuna-kun?"
"Dammit woman!" He shouts once again slamming his fists on the table, a few customers cursed but none dared to approach the angry Mafioso. "Don't you fucking realize that Tenth is over her?!"
"And how would you know?!" Shizuko shouts, her anger flaring. "Do you think it's that easy to just rip out a person whose a part of your life?! Do you think it's easy to just throw away the feelings that you have for each other and pretend like nothing happened?! It's never that easy Gokudera! NEVER!" Shizuko pants as unshed tears glitter in her eyes. Gokudera stares back, wide-eyed-this was the very first time he had heard her raise her voice. But that wasn't enough to dissipate his anger.
"What?" Gokudera laughs coldly. "Like what you're trying to do with the Tenth?"
This brought Shizuko to a halt. Her eyes widen, her hands clinched themselves tightly, as she looks down at the floor-desperately trying to hold back the onslaught of tears. Gokudera calms himself as he runs his hands through his silver hair. Alright, he knew he had crossed the line with that one.
"S-Sorry," Gokudera spoke softly, truly apologetic. "I didn't mean to..."
"It's alright," Shizuko looks up and looks at him squarely. "What you said was right, I am doing exactly that to Tsuna. But that doesn't make it any easier to hear though."
"So why-" Gokudera starts but before he could voice out his question, Kyoko strolls in with a happy look on her face. She greets Gokudera politely and turns to Shizuko with a small smile. Gokudera tried not to glare at Kyoko.
"Um...Shizuko-chan, you said that..." She fidgets under Shizuko's gaze. And this made Gokudera scowl. What had the Tenth seen in her?
Shizuko nodded, already knowing her question. "I just texted Tsuna-ku," Shizuko shakes her head. Gokudera noticed how she was blatantly trying to erase the Tenth's nickname from her memory-like how she was blatantly erasing Tsuna from her life. "Tsunayoshi, his waiting for you at the cafe across the street." She points out of the window where there was another cafe sitting across the street. Kyoko smiles brightly as she mumbles a small thank you and races out of the door and into the adjacent cafe. Gokudera and Shizuko wait as they observed the orange haired girl as she looked at herself in the mirror she brought one too many times. Fixing her hair, putting on some lipstick, and smiling like she had just won the lottery. Within a few short minutes, Tsuna arrives and enters the cafe. He looks around for a bit and to his surprise sees Kyoko. She waves him over and he joins her-a big smile on his face. They greeted each other as Tsuna sat down. From where Gokudera was sitting, they did look like a happy couple...and this irritated him to no end.
"See?" Shizuko pipes up, a sad smile on her face. "H-Happy as a chipmunk."
Gokudera turns to her and scrutinizes her carefully, almost willing her to see what he sees. The fact that Tsuna was desperately trying to discreetly move away from Kyoko's touch or the fact that he would seldom look around the cafe, like he was looking for somebody else. But she sees none of this. All she focused on was the big grin that Tsuna was sporting-which dropped one too many times when Kyoko wasn't looking. Gokudera sighs tiredly and stands up from his seat. "Come on, I don't like your methods woman but looking at them like this is not good for your health."
She looks up at Gokudera and smiles slightly. "Yeah, your right." She stands up and turns to Gokudera. "Don't tell anyone about this, okay?"
"What?" He scoffs. "The fact that you're a masochist or your making the biggest mistake of your life."
"Huh," She smiles playfully. "Funny, never thought you'd be the kind of guy who watches chick flicks."
Gokudera glares as they both walk out of the cafe. Shizuko smiles as she turns to the other cafe across the street and a frown takes hold of her lips. Tsuna and Kyoko were happily laughing and smiling. A part of her wanted to be happy-it really did. But the bigger part was weeping once again for losing out to the former school idol.
"One more thing Gokudera," Gokudera turns to her and raises an eyebrow. She tears her eyes away from them and looks at Gokudera.
"I was the girl that seemed unbreakable...but I broke."
Gokudera's eyes widen but said nothing.
"I was the girl," She continued. "That seemed strong but crumbled. The girl who always laughed but cried. The girl who never stopped trying...but finally gave up. I was a stupid, stupid girl back then."
Gokudera's eyes widen as she moved forward and looked up at Gokudera with a sad smile-a smile that said that this was truly the end.
"And I don't want to be her anymore. She's full of self-loathing, full of disappointments, full of heartbreaks." Gokudera's jaw grows slack as Shizuko once again smile-that same painstaking smile. "Goodbye then, Gokudera. Thank you for being the brother I never had."
And with that, she side stepped away from Gokudera, hung her head low, and walked away-from all of it.
Gokudera grits his teeth and pulls out another cigarette and lights it.
"You foolish, idiotic, self-centered idiot."
Gokudera curses out as he turns his back on her and walks the opposite path.
He stops midway and turns around, to see that Shizuko's was walking further and further away from the cafe.
He cusses out strings of curses, crushes the cigarette with the heel of his shoe, and makes a move towards the cafe across the street.
Shizuko might have given up.
Reborn might have given up.
But Gokudera knew full well that Tsunayoshi was starting to open his eyes.
And he was going to make damn sure that Shizuko was there to see it.
"Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humor, giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time possible."
Lisa Kleypas, Sugar Daddy
A/N:
Oh~ We are so close to the end ( I think so) and I'm having an internal battle whether it should end happily or sadly. Ah, well-let's just wait and see what my crazy mind thinks up huh?
YUKI-SHI-CHAN: I know this is long overdue but...ERMAGASH YOU LOVE EXO TOO! OH MA GASH OH MA GASH! *fan girl mode off* so yeah, I'm sooo happy to find another person who likes EXO o(T_T)/ You know, they're coming to my country to perform on January. Sadly though, I don't have the money to buy the tickets (and yes I cried for hours) Haha, well anyway. Thank you for the review~!
PRINCESSAYUMIHIBARI13: Did you know? You're review had me grinning for minutes! Seriously, I thought I teared up a bit when I read your review. It was actually what kept me going to write this chapter. so thank you ssooooooooo very much for that thoughtful review!
And to everyone else thank you so much~! I was actually planning to drop this story but seeing as so many people like it well, it gave me the inspiration to continue on writing!
I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! \(T_T)/
