Day 42
None of the signs were there. Nothing. No cramps, no bloating, no fatigue. I wanted it, I wanted it so bad. Really, I did.
I pictured us lying in bed with Allison (yea, girl, doctor, I had it planned already). We were lying in bed together for a Sunday afternoon nap. The cold rain outside the window, the three of us all cozy and warm inside.
A guy came in today. He couldn't remember his name. He couldn't feel pain either. The guy had a piece of rebar sticking out of his chest. He was hypnotized.
The Great Randall said he could see and talk to you. I almost believed it was real. I almost asked about this baby. This maybe-baby. He wanted money. That's all.
Anyway, the guy with hypnosis, he started having strange symptoms. Sensitivity to sunlight, stomach cramps, rashes, blistering. The guy had been tested for everything, except Propheria. Yes, Propheria, the vampire disease. I was so happy I got the answer. He wasn't happy he had a solution though.
Charlie, I took the test. It took me all day. Melanda was with me but I had to tell you first. I'm not pregnant.
Remember when you wanted kids? You wanted to roll the dice? I called you crazy. You're not as crazy as I thought now. I wanted it now and I might get it. You said you wanted to name them all after you. I said we should name one 'Crazy' then.
I miss those moments more and more everyday. Wake up for me baby. I'm tired of these one way conversations. I need you back. I nedd to hear your voice again. I need you to say you will be okay and you will never leave me. God Charlie, come back to me. I just keep going back to that time. The we would have 'rolled the dice, ' and you would have your 'Charlie Jr.'
Looks like we are going to have to wait for you to wake up for that. Until then all you can do is hope.
-A
