Chapter 5

Jasina had refused, flat out REFUSED, to leave her apartment, ordering take-out and faxed her articles to Trish, knowing the woman didn't mind. She was isolating herself from the world and, more importantly, from her daughter and Mark. Before she knew it, two months had passed and Jasina had only gone out a few times in that time span for fear of running into them. She hated herself for doing it, but she couldn't help it. Mark terrified her and if he ever found out...he would maim her, plain and simple. Jasina knew the type of temper the man had on him and it took A LOT to spark it. Once sparked, no one was safe and that scared Jasina more than death itself.

It was a Thursday afternoon and Jasina was enjoying a glass of lemonade while reading a book, wearing black cotton shorts with a matching dark blue and black tank top when a knock sounded at her door. Frowning, Jasina got up to see who it was.

This time it was Mark escorting Arielle and Toni, his arms bogged down with everything Jade had ordered, covering his face. "I can't see." He complained.

"You just stand there and look pretty, daddy. Hiya Jade! We brought your stuff." Arielle said, grinning up at the woman she hadn't seen in two months. "Where have you been? We ain't seen ya around."

"My mom said to tell you she's havin' a potluck if you want to come." Toni added happily.

It was a damn good thing Mark couldn't see her because if he had...Jasina swallowed hard and nodded before opening the door, letting the girls and Mark in. She kept her back to him effectively, seeing everything she had bought. "Did you girls get your new playground?" She asked quietly, not answering Arielle's question, not wanting her to know she had been isolating herself, going into the kitchen to write a check. "Toni, tell your mother I said thank you for the offer, but I must decline." She said it in the same voice, walking back over and handing Arielle the check, keeping her eyes from Mark's as she looked over everything again.

"Why?"

"Yeah? We're gonna be there, Daddy's bringin' his pistachio pudding. And did you hear me? Our new stuff is gonna be put in as soon as we pay the company!"

Mark frowned, watching Jade. "The girls are talkin' to you."

"Yes, I just...I have a lot of work to do, girls. I'm sorry." She quietly replied, biting her bottom lip, her body tensed and sighed when she felt Arielle's hand on her arm, looking down at her. Those deep green eyes were pleading with her again, but Jasina knew she couldn't do it. She could not risk Mark finding out who she was. "Arielle, you don't know me sweetheart," She began, blinking tears away, clearing her throat. "Look I'm not a very sociable person. That's why I left that night. I'm not comfortable being around a lot of people. It's just who I am. I'm sorry." She took her arm out of Arielle's grasp gently.

Arielle frowned, trying to understand, remembering what her dad had told her two months ago about people needing time alone to heal and smiled, nodding. "Okay, when you're finished healin', can we hang out then?" She asked, brightening right up.

Mark coughed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"I can't, I'm sorry." She whispered, tensed beyond belief. "Thank you for bringing this stuff to me. I hope you girls enjoy your new playground."

Her voice was quiet again, her back still turned to Mark and she was gripping the chair so hard, her knuckles were turning ghostly white. She didn't care. This was her way of dealing with things and she had to push Arielle away before Mark found out. She wiped a tear away from her eye before walking into her kitchen again and began doing dishes, also letting her silent tears fall.

"Girls, outside." Mark ordered, not too pleased with this woman who was being almost intentionally rude to his daughter. The minute Arielle and Toni were in the hallway, he walked into the kitchen, staring at Jade. "Woman, what the hell is yer damage? She's just a little kid tryin' to be friendly and you keep pushin' her away. If you really don't like her, just say so."

"Mark, you really don't want to know what my damage is and you don't want me hanging out with your daughter. Trust me, I adore her. I…"

She dropped the fork in the sink, her heart pounding in her chest, her shoulders slumped in defeat. What was she supposed to do? Lie? Jasina couldn't do that and slowly turned around to face him, her teal eyes meeting green as the tears fell down her cheeks. Ten years, ten years without this man in her life, and Jasina had done everything in her power to stay away from him. This was her judgment day, it was her time, and she could only pray Mark either didn't recognize her or didn't kill her.

Mark stared down at her. His face going from puzzled, to sad, then to pure rage in a matter of seconds. "You're right, I don't want you around MY daughter." He said his tone ice as he spun and walked out of the apartment.

Her eyes! He had thought something was familiar about her, but hadn't been able to place it. But there was only one woman he knew who had teal eyes. He took Arielle and Toni by their hands, guiding them down the hall. She had changed her hair, it wasn't black. She also looked...different, physically different. Like something had- It clicked. Her articles.

Jasina dropped to her knees in the kitchen, her heart plummeting to the pits of her stomach, and cried. She cried so hard that her chest and body physically hurt. For hours, she stayed there, not able to get the look of his green eyes out of her mind. She had tried. She had tried so hard and had failed.

Finally pulling herself up, Jasina managed to make it to her bedroom before collapsing on the bed, the sobs tearing every fraction of her body apart. When she could no longer function, Jasina let the darkness sweep her away, all the pain and hurt in that tiny room and nowhere else to go.

~!~

Mark sat up long after Arielle was in bed in the living room with a beer before him. Empty beer bottles lined the coffee table. He could go through a case and still walk a straight line. He knew because he had just tested it. His anger was keeping him from a buzz. How DARE she come back! How DARE she knowingly come around HIS daughter after WALKING out on THEM! Gritting his teeth, Mark crushed the bottle in his fist, not even feeling the glass piercing his skin.

~!~

Jasina didn't leave her apartment, the blinds drawn, refusing to go out in the world. She spent her time writing, something she had found to escape her misery and life for a few hours out of the day. She couldn't believe Mark had found out, but what did she honestly expect? He had backed her into a corner and she had no choice. None. She couldn't hurt him again by telling him Arielle needed to stay away from her. It was time the truth came out anyway. He was angry, he had every right to be, and Jasina wasn't going to go near him or Arielle. She wasn't going near the shop, nowhere in fact. She was running out of groceries, but Jasina couldn't bring herself to face the day.

~!~

"Wait, you mean Jasina is Jade..." Steve whistled, shaking his head. "Man that is fucked up. Does Arie know?"

"Hell no, and she's not going too either!" Mark snapped, breaking a bolt he had been tightening, throwing aside the wrench angrily. "All she knows is that her momma left when she was a baby, she sure as hell don't need a junkie mother in her life now!"

Steve could only shake his head, again.

~!~

Midnight rolled around and Jasina knew she needed groceries. Badly. Sighing, she reluctantly walked out, wearing black sweat pants with a black hoodie, getting in her car and driving to the twenty four hour market. She parked and stepped out, walking inside and grabbed a cart. She felt so isolated and couldn't stop the tears from welling in her eyes. No. She wouldn't cry, not in front of people. She would wait until she was back at her apartment as she began throwing things in the cart. When she was finished, Jasina went to checkout and paid for her things, walking out of the market an hour later, and put the bags in her trunk. She slammed it shut and slid in her car before going back to her apartment. At least now she wouldn't starve.

Trish had left countless messages for Jasina to come into the office, getting more than a little irked when Jasina kept making excuses. She had finally given up and went there, granted the hour was late, but she didn't care. Looking a bit out of place in this part of town in her dress pants and dove grey silk blouse, she hurried up to Jasina's apartment and knocked, pressing her ear to the door when she didn't get an answer. Fine, she'd wait.

Jasina walked up the stairs with ten grocery bags in each arm, stopping when she seen Trish, her editor, staring back at her. "Trish, what are you doing here?" She asked, having gotten her messages, but figured faxing would've sufficed. She sighed when Trish helped her with the groceries and walked inside her apartment, flipping the light on and brought them into the kitchen, Trish closing the door behind her. It was after one in the morning, what the hell was so damn important?

"I am here to make sure you're alive and it's not some zombie faxing me those articles." Trish said bluntly, knowing it was late, but she was the editor of a major city newspaper, she was often working late. "What's going on Jasina? When I hired you, you were...more alive, now you look like that zombie I mentioned earlier." She folded her arms over her chest, arching an eyebrow.

Jasina sighed heavily as she dropped in a kitchen chair and buried her face in her hands. She proceeded to explain about Mark Calaway and everything that happened, including her drug addiction, and why she had left her little girl after only knowing her two days. She explained why she came back to Houston, only to change her mind, but not having the money to move again, thanking her repeatedly for the opportunity.

When Jasina was finished, she was just one big ball of tears and they wouldn't stop as she wiped them away. "I ran away from my life, Trish, and now...now I don't know what I am anymore. All I know is that I've been looking to relocate to somewhere outside of Houston so Mark doesn't have to see me. I'm sorry...I just wanted to keep this to myself and that didn't happen."

That was a LOT to digest. Trish had to sit down as well, just staring at Jasina, combing her fingers through her hair as she thought about everything she had just been told. "So he didn't know about your addiction, you just left him a note and an infant..." She murmured. "Does he know now why you left?" She was assuming he did, just needed things clarified.

"No, only what he's read of my articles." She replied softly, standing up, needing a tissue as she shook her head. "Trish, I seen how happy they were. I don't want to mess that up. He can think whatever he wants. I'm not getting back in his daughter's life because I don't have that right. I walked out on her, on him, on our marriage. I am scum of the earth and the only thing that makes me even the slightest bit happy these days is knowing she's growing into a beautiful girl. That's all I care about. She doesn't need me, Mark has been there for her and he'll continue to be. They don't need me." She started crying again and sat down, putting her head in her hands. "So I'm sorry if I've been closed up, but I've been trying to avoid running into them."

"Well Jasina, the way I see it is you can either run away or pull your head out of the sand and live your life. You made a horrible, horrible mistake and you've paid for it." Trish said bluntly, she wasn't one to sugarcoat things, ever. She expected people to own up to their faults and then atone for them. "You can hide in this apartment or you can come out and live. Either way...if I don't see you in the office Monday morning, nine AM sharp, you're fired. I'm promoting you, don't blow it."

Her head snapped up, tears flowing down her cheeks, her teal eyes widened. "What?" She slowly stood up as Trish grinned at her, wondering what that meant. She was being promoted? That would mean she would have to go to the Houston Journal and actually WORK there? "Trish, what exactly am I going to be doing now?" She asked softly, having really enjoyed writing her columns, and wiped more of her tears away.

"I'm making you our new 'ask' girl." Trish said with a grin. "You can still do your articles. But you'll also be in charge of picking out a couple of questions from our readers and answering them, all to be printed of course. You know, a Dear Abby thing. Our last 'ask it' girl was fired, bad advice. I think you'd be perfect for the job."

Jasina could only nod, still blinking as she ushered Trish to the door, chewing on her thumbnail. "Thank you for the opportunity, I'll be there." She promised, managing to get out and closed the door before pressing her back to it.

Closing her eyes, Jasina wondered if maybe this was the moment that would turn her life around. She got to work putting her groceries away before taking a hot shower and then went to bed. Jasina had hope for the future and decided that she couldn't hide anymore. She would face her problems head-on...and avoid Mark Calaway at all costs.

Feeling pretty pleased with herself, Trish walked out of the building and to her car, frowning when she seen the slashed tires. So much for her new Benz. She was about to whip out her cell phone when a truck drove by, stopped and backed up.

"Honey, it ain't safe out here, especially for a woman."

Trish just smiled.