Zombies are For Realz
Chapter 7: Say What?
Canadia and France were just sitting there whispering after that. Did I mention that France didn't even bother covering his er, manhood? Not even with the characteristic rose or leaf. Canadia seemed unfazed by it though. Brave soul. And here I thought all he did was love moose and drag ass.
Hopefully he could get France back to his senses, (which is probably impossible but hey, you never know) because then maybe, just maybe they'll both leave.
By the end of their little conversation, France looked devastated. I guess he found out we weren't doing… whatever he thought he were doing.
"Oh zhat is the fun in that… I was zo excited!" Cue the spotlight, tissues, and "manly" tears. Oh, and he meant that mentally and uh, physically, just to let you guys know.
"I'm sorry France, but really… the real reason America asked you come is because," he gave me a quick look, "—he wanted to ask you something important." That sly little—!
"Zhat is it then, Amérique? I could have been doing zo many other zhings. Honhonhon, honhonho—" Right, this was France I was talking to.
To play it cool, I said, "Well France, Canadia and I got into a little argument over something." I even emphasized the word, "argument". I really have a way with words.
"Oh?"
"Some things happened between er, England and I. Canadia wasn't so pleased, but you know…" I decided if I made this more ambiguous, then maybe France wouldn't pester me about it. Then they might both just LEAVE. That would be really something, huh? Oh, and I totally just googled that word guys. Smart right?
"Honhonhon, iz that why he is tied to a chair in your living room? I didn't know américains could be so… rough. I thought it was only un allemand zhing."
"Um, yeah, we like it rough." I said, a little unsure of what he meant. But ya know, it must be true, like Lady Gaga's lyrics in p-p-p-poker face. If it isn't rough, it isn't fun, right?
Canadia gave me a dirty look. It wasn't like I was actually treating Zombie Iggy rough! All I did was tie him to chair to make sure he didn't go around eating some brains or something.
"HONHONOHON." I don't know why, but I had a feeling that laugh wasn't a good thing. "Zell, ze are all here, non? We could try zhe foursome."
Um, what the hell? Okay, now I know France must be drunk. And if he isn't then I am… Horrifed.
I looked to Canadia's direction, because he just told France that we weren't doing anything like that. But he looked completely indifferent about the entire thing! He was just sitting there listening, like he'd totally do it or something. I had to think fast, because obviously Canadia didn't seem against the idea, and France…. I don't even want to know what he was thinking.
"Uh guys, how about we all come to an agreement…"
"OOOH! I know. Ze are into zhe roles and fantasizes obviously, Amérique. How scandalous. Ze can all pretend that ze are pirates, and we have captured the one and only, Captain Kirkland—"
"That's not what I—"
"He has killed many, and we decide as fellow pirates we must teach him a lesson—"
"Uhhh, wha—"
"—zo we surround him, in all directions, waiting for him to awake. Waiting for us to sink teeth into his flesh, leaving our marks onto his beautifully, scarred pearl white skin. Zhen, it becomes a battle of dominance, as we fight like animals to claim what is rightly ours. Our bodies perfectly mold into each other as we progress, gradually building up heat to its fruition. Movements becoming more erratic, we throw our heads back in the moment of ecstasy, spilling multitudes of bodily fluids. It will be magnifique."
I…I was speechless.
"That sounds wonderful, but may I add something to that?" Canadia quietly asked. "I have some costumes from last year's Halloween Special—"
"NO!"
France put on his best rape face, "Zou did not like zhat one? Well, I have this other one about where ze are all working in the government as undercover spies—"
"NO, JUST NO! BOTH OF YOU GET OUT!"
"…Ohh, I zee now. So, zou are zhe jealous type, non?
It... It was like everyone thought that England and I bone together or something. I mean, at first I thought it was just Japan fanboying over those weird comics. But in one night I find out that two other countries thought the same exact thing! France isn't that surprising, but even my own brother thought we were... doing it. We have always been real close, having our bosses calling it our,"Special Relationship" but that doesn't mean I want to bang England—
I didn't even want to think about it anymore, and just threw them out of my apartment, pants or not.
A/N: Hey guys! I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in a while. Thankfully our last Band State Finals competition ends this Saturday! Consider this an early Halloween present, since technically this is kind of a Halloween fic because of zombies and such. Hopefully I can get back into this fic since I haven't written in such a long time. Thank you for everyone has reviewed since then; it really does keep me motivated!
