Prompt: Elf, #61- "I can't be gay! I drink beer! I am a man!", #10 -"I always knew you guys had a burning passion for each other.", #24- "Oi! I am not senile"/ "Well that's debatable." #40 "Shut up. Or I will make you." Vague Misery

Challenge: The character Drabble competition with a twist, the quotes challenge. If you dare...challenge.

Note: I have no clue where this came from...but this was a goodbye to Marie Fisher, I really hope you like this and I'll be sad to see you go :)


"We're not getting a House Elf," Lily said firmly.

James looked bemused at the thought of no House Elf, "We're not?"

He furrowed is eyebrows as he contemplated this strange new concept.

Lily bit her lip to keep from smiling and snogging him right then and there. He looked so adorable when he was thinking.

"No house elf, James."

"Why not?"

"Because, we are perfectly capable of doing chores ourselves. Right?"

"I'm not," James mumbled.

Lily smiled. He was like an overgrown kid.

That's because he is a kid, she thought, and so are you. 19 hardly counts as being an adult.

She grinned evilly, "James..."

He looked up from his vaguely miserable brooding, "Yeah?" He asked warily, he knew Lily well enough to know that that grin meant trouble.

"You know how having no House Elf means we have to do our own chores? Like cooking, cleaning, making the beds..."

His eyes widened, "We'd have to make our own beds?" He gasped in horror.

Lily laughed, "Yes James, you'd have to make your own bed. Sirius is over here often enough, you could always make him do your chores for you."

James looked at her as if seeing he was seeing her for the first time.

"Are you sure you're not a Slytherin?"

She gave him the look, and carried on speaking.

But anyway, you how you and Sirius are secretly gay together and as a result are joined at the hip?"

"Yes..." He said, drawing out the 'e.'

Wait for it, Lily thought, her tongue curling in anticipation for the entertainment that she was about to witness.

"No, wait, WHAT? Sirius and I aren't gay together! If I was going to be gay I'd have a better taste in guys than Sirius!" James cried.

And the penny drops. Her grin widened.

Sirius chose that moment to enter the room.

"Hey! I take offense at that. Granted I'd pick Remus over you any day...Since when were we gay together anyway?"

"Lily thinks we're gay together! Sirius, I can't be gay with Sirius! I'm in love with Lily! If I was gay with Sirius I couldn't love Lily! I have a girlfriend who I sleep with regularly! SIRIUS!" James cried in desperation, eyes wide and making frantic hand gestures.

Sirius paled, Lily by this point was nearly dying of laughter at the chaos she had caused.

"Prongs, Mate. I really do not want to know about yours and Lily's sex life. Ever."

James waved him off, "Padfoot, we have bigger problems at stake here! Our manhood is being questioned! Our MANHOODS, Padfoot!"

Sirius choked on the butterbeer Lily had handed him as he entered the room.

"I can't be gay! Not with James! I drink beer! I AM A MAN!" Sirius cried, unbuckling his trousers to prove it. James did the same.

Lily laughed even harder, her eyes shine with a mixture of mirth and unshed tears.

"I always knew you guys had a secret, burning passion for each other, but I never thought I'd literally see the day where you took your pants off for each other," Lily commented, raising her eyebrow and chuckling.

Sirius glared at her. "Shut up or I will make you."

"Really?" Lily snorted. "And how are you going to do that? Snog me?"

Sirius winked, "Is that an invitation?"

James turned beet red, "Hey! That's my girlfriend you're talking about! Go snog your own!"

Sirius considered this for a moment before smirking, "Oh Prongs, we'll be doing a lot more than snogging I guarantee you that."

Lily snorted again as James winked back suggestively.

"You guys realize that this isn't helping your case right? Or are you both to senile to realize that?"

"Oi! I am not senile!" James cried in indignation.

Now it was Sirius's turn to snort, "Well that's debatable."

James glared. Sirius raised his hands in mock surrender and backed out of the room still smirking.

"Thank Merlin he's gone. Now what were we discussing again? Something about getting a house elf?"

"Ahh yes..."


A/N So um. Hope you liked it, and didn't find it too weird or anything. :)

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