Author's Note: I'm pretty sure the last chapter was about four-hundred words too short. Will make it up in this chapter!

The portal was fashioned curiously. It was a hexagonal shape, but set in the wall of Bowser's secret chamber, and appeared to be more of a hole than a portal to hell. The particles emitting from its depths were Nether-portal-like, but the actual visible interior was like that of the Void.

"Here ya go," grunted Bowser. "One ticket to hell. What else d'you drain-brains want?"

"Will we be able to get back?" questioned Notch. He had complete faith in Mario, but not so much in the scaly smelly Koopa standing before him.

"I dunno," shot back Bowser. "You may be dense enough to be deluded into risking your lives, but I'm smart enough not to go anywhere near this Grambiforsaken thing."

"Smart? YOU?" Mr. L actually began to laugh loudly and openly at this, but at the sight of Bowser waving his scepter and claws threateningly, his mirth soon died down.

Mario was silently examining the portal while Daisy battered Dimentio with dimensional-related questions.

"Are you sure it'll work?"

"Positive."

"Will it one-hundred-percent take us to the Underwhere."

"Most likely."

"Is there a way back?"

"Maybe."

"Can't you teleport us out?"

"I'm afraid I can't."

"Why not?"

"I am a magician, not a miracle worker."

"You suck."

"Well, so do you, my darling."

Meanwhile, Raven was hopping excitedly on Mario's head (as a crow, of course), annoying the red-clad hero to no end. Golden Courage was propped up on the wall.

"Whatcha doin'? Ooh, are we going IN this portal? Where're we going? Will we save Luigi and Herobrine? Is that Herobrine's name? Cuz if Herobrine wasn't Herobrine, he wouldn't BE Herobrine! Haha! Does that make any sense? Oh, speaking of sense, have you ever mixed up 'sense' with 'spice'? I have once, and I asked for extra SENSE, not extra SPICE. Man, I'm such a silly!"

As Raven jabbered on, Mario ran a gloved hand above the portal. Maybe it was a fault of his own, maybe it was the portal's will, but in a purple flash of light and a loud humming noise, Mario and Raven were sucked into the portal.

Mr. L, Daisy, Notch and Dimentio whirled around.

"HOLY CRAP!" shrieked Daisy.

"What the Ender happened?" demanded Notch, drawing his sword.

"Whatever happened, it wasn't my fault!" yelled Mr. L, flapping his wings in a panic.

"Everyone, SHUT UP!" roared Dimentio.

In all the confusion, no-one saw Bowser sneak out, fast and silent. No-one heard the lock turn in the doorknob. And no-one managed to catch a snippet of Bowser's triumphant laugh.

"Where the crap is Bowser?" said Daisy, in the abrupt silence.

Mr. L and Notch looked at the door. "The bastard probably snuck out, while we were arguing," mused L.

"How could a monster that size sneak out?" asked Notch to virtually no-one.

Daisy walked over to the door and tried, to no avail, to open it. "Shit!" she hissed. "That sonofabitch locked us in!"

"Never fear, my dearest Daisy," sang Dimentio. "I shall teleport us out of this woe... with magic!"

Dimentio clicked his fingers. Everyone tensed expectantly.

Nothing happened.

"Ah oh," said Dimentio.

"I guess you can make places magic-proof, right?" said Notch.

"Precisely, Notchy boy," muttered L. "Which is why we're completely freaking screwed."


Mario felt sharp rocks beneath him. With a groan, he forced himself up on his feet, and looked around at the sole place he had wished with all his heart he would never lay eyes on again.

The Underwhere.

A desolate wind blew through the damned place, and Shaydes and D-Men wandered aimlessly around. Mario looked around on the sharp-rock ground, and spotted a jet-black crow amidst the grey. He scooped Raven up, and was almost immediately greeted by a D-Man. This one was a suit-wearing D-Man, but his suit was a strange combination of orange and blue.

"Hey," he said.

"Um, hi," said Mario.

The D-Man scrutinised Mario carefully. "Gotta admit, I think I've spotted your moustache floatin' 'round here. You dead?" he added sharply.

"Ah, no," replied Mario. "Y'see, I'm on business."

"With Queen Jaydes?" asked the D-Man.

"Yep," said Mario.

"Cool," said the D-Man. He held out a hand. "Name's D-Dude. I'm the new secretary of her Deadliness Queen Jaydes."

"Deadliness?" repeated Mario.

"Yup-a-doodle," said D-Dude smugly. "Now, c'mon. She's relocated into a fortress thing."

Confused, Mario followed the bizzarly-coloured secretary towards River Twygz. After a few minutes of dull walking, where Mario had overhead a few Shaydes chatting calmly about their deaths, the duo came across the wizened ferry-keeper, Charold.

Charold waved. "Hi," he greeted the two.

"People down here have become less spooky," reflected Mario.

"Nice, ain't it?" agreed D-Dude. "There's a little campaign going around, niceness and stuff. Anyhoozits, we need to cross the River, Char."

Charold nodded. "Four coins, please."

Mario brought out four coins, albeit quite unwillingly. Once they were on the ferry, Mario addressed D-Dude.

"Why can't we just swim across?"

"Reinforced poisonous riverwater," answered D-Dude. "We haven't been able to get enough crying evildoers, so we've settled for the common poison."

Mario eyed the River with new eyes.


"Are you sure Raven won't mind?" asked Daisy, as Mr. L picked up Golden Courage and examined it interestedly.

"What she doesn't know can't hurt her," replied L. "Or us, for that matter. Now stand back, guys. Don't wanna catch fire or something."

The other three backed away, nearly touching the portal. L raised the spear and pointed it at the door.

BAM.

Notch and Dimentio ran (or flew) forwards. The gentleman thief was bound by ropes that had exploded (almost literally) out of the tip of Golden Courage's tip. He was struggling with the binds, and therefore had dropped the spear.

"I don't think we should try that anytime soon," said Notch dryly, as he slashed through the vines with a pair of shears.

"May I ask why you are carrying shears around with you?" asked Dimentio politely.

Notch shrugged. "They're my favourite tool."

"Alright," sighed Daisy, running a hand through her hair. "We can't get out, with teleportation or forceful escape."

"Which leaves?" asked Mr. L, brushing off the vines.

Daisy looked grimly at the portal. "That."