"Are you sure that this is a good idea?"
"No."
Notch glared at Mr. L as the latter picked up Golden Courage again and tested its weight once more. Dimentio floated around the portal in interest, while Daisy drew a penknife from Grambi knows where. She slid the blade out of its hiding place in the tool and swung it a few times to get used to it.
Drawing his diamond sword, Notch looked at the portal. "Ladies first."
Daisy stuck out her tongue at the Minecraftian and stepped inside the portal. There were a few funny swirling sounds as Daisy disappeared as though she had stepped through a waterfall. Dimentio floated in next, quickly followed by Mr. L, and finally Notch.
Exactly Grambi knows how many seconds later, Notch opened his eyes and saw a horribly distorted landscape.
The sky was an icky blue-purple, and scattered with strange neon rectangles that Notch could only assume were the substitutes this place offered for clouds. Mountains and rocky landscapes loomed in the distance. Stalactites and stalagmites hung from the high rocky ceiling, and strange black-and-white creatures made out of floating squares wandered aimlessly around.
Notch looked to his right and saw a fountain spewing orange liquid. He was shocked to see Mr. L grumbling to himself as he let the liquid run over his hand, which was covered in cuts. As Notch watched, the cuts healed over, leaving nary a notion behind.
"Wh-what the..." stammered Notch.
"Healing fountain thing," replied Mr. L curtly, withdrawing his suddenly-dry hand. "You're the first other one I've seen so far."
"What the heck d'you mean by that?" demanded Notch, hurrying to Mr. L's side.
"Haven't seen anyone hauling their ass around here 'cept for me and those Shaydes," muttered L, indicating the strange black-and-white creatures. "Gotta admit, living here for eternity must be shitty."
"It looks spooky," said Notch.
Mr. L snorted as he suddenly set off, Notch hurrying to keep up. "Notchy, Notchy, Notchy. This place is more like Boredom Central. Queen Jaydes is the real bitch around here. Scarier than the scenery by far."
"Who's Queen Jaydes?" asked Notch.
"Keep forgetting how much ya don't know, Notchy," exclaimed L. "Jaydes is kinda like our equivalent of the Devil. Or more accurately Hades."
"So where're the others? And where the crap've you been?"
"Looking for Jaydes," replied L. "She's probably relocated, so I settled for looking for you guys. We obviously ended up in completely different places."
Notch felt the back of his head and was shocked to find a large bruise underneath his fingers. "So where're we going now?"
"River Twygz," answered the masked man, pointing to the distance. "See that ferry dude? That's Charold, the dude who lets people down here cross for a fee of four freaking coins. Four! What a rip-off. He doesn't earn much, though."
"What did he do to get down here?" muttered Notch, eying the purple water that was undoubtedly poisonous and the blue-skinned being in orange who was manning the ferry.
"Well, I personally have no idea," replied L. "Still, though, Bonechill's Prison is the real Hell. This place is for the guys who haven't really been good OR bad."
"Interesting," said Notch untruthfully. "Um, are we swimming over?"
"Shit no," said Mr. L, rummaging in his pockets for some coins. "They've changed it to poison, instead of the tears of bad guys. 'Sides, I don't wanna mess with the Underhands."
Notch decided to keep his trap shut as Mr. L handed Charold four coins. The guy yawned and beckoned them on. Notch and Mr. L clambered onto the rickety ferry, and Charold struck out from the dock.
"This place gives me the mega-creeps," admitted Notch.
"At least you haven't been down here more than once," grumbled Mr. L, looking out at the scenery.
Notch looked at the masked man, surprised. "You've been here?"
"First time was when I was killed by Dimentio, second time was when I had to sacrifice myself for my friends, third time was when I was murdered by Dimentio again, fourth time when I died on an adventure with the Pure Hearts. This is my sixth."
"Wow."
Mario looked up in alarm at the stone castle hewn straight from a giant mountain unconveniately in their way. D-Dude nodded appreciatively at the plumber's awe. Of course, I don't exactly blame Mario, seeing as the castle was all grey walls and blackened windows and arching doors and spiralling towers and swarming Shaydes and stuff.
"Impressive," admitted Mario.
"Thanks," said D-Dude. "We try our hardest."
D-Dude led Mario into the castle, which was filled with Shaydes. The D-Man led Mario to the throne room, where Jaydes was sitting on a stone throne looking frazzled, while about a dozen other D-Men in suits swarmed around her. D-Dude raised his voice.
"Clear out, lads, clear out. Mario's here to see Her Royal Deadliness."
Immediately, the D-Men dispersed, muttering to themselves. Jaydes looked up gratefully at D-Dude.
"Thanks, D," murmured the Underwhere ruler. "I thought I was going to scream if they kept at it for a second longer."
Jaydes cleared her throat and straightened up. "So! Mario. Hey. Nice to see you, and all."
"You too, Queen Jaydes," said Mario, not altogether truthfully.
"Nervous? Yeah, I know. On business again?" Jaydes talked in a tired manner, even though her words were sharp and snappy.
"Um, yeah. You see, it's kinda a long story, but basically this guy from another dimension called Minecraftia ended up in our world and apparently he needs help finding his brother and I need the same, so we went to Bowser's place for a portal to here and he showed us but locked us in, and then - "
" - you got separated from your friends," finished Jaydes.
"Uh, yeah," said Mario sheepishly. "But I still have Raven!"
And he drew out the still-unconsicous crow.
Jaydes peered at her for a bit. Then, she sank back into her throne. "Tell me everything about her."
