Did you ever have those arguments with your family over nicknames? I certainly did.


"Upstairs come downstairs!" Darrel called to his children, his wife having just informed him that dinner was ready. He didn't have to wait long for his daughter Jean to arrive.

Jean rushed down the stairs one at a time and skipped the last one. She offered her father a smile of greeting and picked up the stack of plates Elaine had left on the counter. Jean distributed them efficiently and eased herself into one of the chairs that had a cushion, not all of them did.

Darrel's son Meredith was much more reluctant, having been reading a particularly interesting book at the time. He had only just made it to the landing when he was squashed to the wall by his adopted brother and the dog.

As usual Jonathan and Mars were racing down the stairs at top speed. Mars pointed downwards like a giant arrow and Jonathan taking the stairs three at a time.

When he passed by Jonathan murmured and unapologetic, "'Scuse me," as he bumped him accidentally.

"You should be more careful," Meredith scolded loudly. "One of these days you're going to knock me over the railing and then I'll die."

Jonathan offered a rapid, "Hey, Dad," to Darrel as he skidded to a stop by the counter and responded cheerfully to Meredith. "Then Mars can have his own room!"

Darrel shook his head; technically, the dog wasn't supposed to be upstairs.

Jonathan scooped up the silverware and set it around the plates before plopping down ungracefully across from Jean. He had taken the last cushioned chair as Elaine had taken the second one on the end of the table.

Darrel didn't mind at all since he preferred no cushioning but Meredith made his protests known. "You know, I should have the cushion. Otherwise I could have back problems when I'm older."

"And what about my back, Mer?" Jonathan asked, feigning hurt.

Meredith momentarily stuttered, trying to think of a way to make it sound less selfish. He gathered the five glasses and made his comeback. "Well your back is harder than mine."

Jonathan smirk up at Meredith as he set the glasses in front of each plate. "Does that mean you're delicate?"

Darrel shook his head at his sons' teasing and lifted up the already filled water pitcher which he set onto the dinner table. As he sat down at the other end of the table he had somehow missed Meredith's response but tuned in soon enough to hear Jonathan call his brother, "–DLF."

"Oh, come on. Even Mars could come up with a better nickname!" Meredith exclaimed, dropping down next to his brother.

"Now, boys." Elaine cut in gently. "Let's eat."

Darrel, as was the norm, made most of the conversation at the dinner table. His students at the university, colleagues, and whatnot.

Elaine had noticed Jonathan was unusually quiet and considered mentioning it when the boy in question sat up straight and announced, "I got it!"

"What?" Meredith asked, confusion written over his face while the rest of the table looked at Jonathan curiously.

"M&M." Jonathan said. Upon seeing looks of further confusion he elaborated. "Instead of DLF, M&M. It's your initials, and your just like the candy. All hard on the outside but soft and sweet on the inside." Jonathan looked extremely pleased with himself.

Meredith's jaw dropped in shock, Jean snickered helplessly, and both parents ducked their heads in an attempt to hide their grins.

Meredith recovered quickly. "Then you'd," he punctuated this with a finger jab towards his brother. "Be JiM, the boring person who's not important."

Jonathan gasped mockingly and place his hand on his chest. Wide-eyed he defended, "I'm not boring!" Jonathan twisted around, set his hand on Mars' head, and, looking him in the eye, questioned, "I'm not boring, right Mars?"

Mars sat up a little straighter and obediently gave a low, agreeing, "Woof"

"See?" Jonathan said smugly, turning back to Meredith.

Meredith scowled in response before humphing. "Well what's Jeannie? JaM? You know, the goo the holds us together?"

"No," Jonathan announced, "She's the JeM, obviously the girl's the prettiest."

Meredith snorted, "I don't know, you have pretty down pretty good."

"I'm flattered. Aren't I the JaM that holds you two bread pieces together?" Jonathan snarked back.

"Well, jam is messy." Meredith conceded, pointing to Jonathan hair. "I thought I was the M&M not the bread."

"You are the bread... in one sense... and you're and M&M in another!"

"Well make up your mind Jonny-boy! You can't have both!"

"It's a metaphor!"

"You seriously need to work on your metaphors."

"Yours aren't any better."

"That doesn't matter, we're talking about your metaphors!"

"Your metaphors are just as relative to the conversation."

"My metaphors are just fine."

"They all have to do with Star Trek and Lost in Space!"

"And there's nothing wrong with that!"

"You could go for some divers–"

Mars decided that the argument had gone on long enough and intervened with a sharp bark that stopped them faster than any human being could.

Meredith glared at the mutt for interrupting and Jonathan dropped his hand on Mars' head and rubbed him behind the ears.

Jean was hunched over trying to contain her silent laughter which had started cramping up her stomach as soon as the argument had started.

Darrel's shoulders shook with much more gentle silent laughter and Elaine shook her head as she tried to cover her smile.

When Elaine was sure she could speak clearly she suggested, "Why don't you boys wash and dry? Jeannie can clear."

The three children stood, slightly depressed at the prospect of cleaning but went along willingly enough, with Mars more than happy to lend a helping tongue onto any dirty dishes.

Elaine shared a look with Darrel that silently but clearly communicated, I love our children.