And if you wanna like me,

Girl, you'd better find me before the sun goes down.

And if you wanna hate me, it ain't gonna take me long,

Just stick around.

It's like a match to gasoline,

I'm nice as hell 'till I get mean

2 Sides of Me - Hinder

"Oh, do they really now?" From the window came a deep, rumbling voice with a lazy Southern drawl.

Bella let out a shriek before her hand clapped over her mouth; her heart hammered against her ribcage, adrenaline sparking her nerves like live wires. Unable to help himself, Jasper burst out into laughter, doubling over, his hands bracing against his knees.

"Damn, darlin', I need to hang out with you more; you're a riot."

Taking a deep breath, Bella let her hand down, her heart still pounding, and turned toward him, glaring slightly. "You are fucking anti-christ," she grumbled, collapsing back against her bed.

"Well, just a vampire, technically, but I appreciate the compliment." With a smile, Jasper pounced onto her bed, near her feet, poking them through the covers. "Lighten up, kid."

"Don't call me kid," Bella whined, pulling one of her pillows over her head. "You're a dick, you know. Depriving me of my sleep even when I know you're all right and haven't slaughtered the damn town. It's just plain rude."

Jasper smirked over at her. "It would take me a while to kill the whole town, darlin', if I was bein' neat and not lettin' any blood go to waste."

Bella looked at him sideways. "Dick," she reiterated, waving in his general direction.

Jasper patted her foot before getting back to his feet, walking around her relatively small room, curious about everything. He didn't know anything about her, and the best way to figure someone out, he supposed, was by examining their possessions. "You like Emily Brontë?" he asked curiously, picking up a worn copy of Wuthering Heights from her bedside table.

Bella glanced up from under her pillow, looking suspiciously at the blonde vampire - who still, mind you, had blood red eyes - that was perpendicular to her bed. Arching a brow, she nodded slowly. "Yes," she said slowly, eyeing him critically. "Why?"

"Just curious," he defended, putting the beat up book back down and moving onto her bookshelf, kneeling down in front of it - as it was low to the ground - to examine the spines of the books that lined the shelves.

Tipping her head to the side, Bella studied him, wondering why he was so curious about her books. There was nothing special about her books. There were some older fiction books and loads of nonfiction, particularly war books. She had a thing for war books.

"Why are you here, Jasper?" she asked, pulling her slender legs up to her chest. As she waited for his response, she tugged her hair out of its half-undone bun and retied it lazily.

"You like the Civil War," Jasper commented with obvious approval, holding up one of her dozen or so books on the Civil War.

"I do," Bella agreed, arching a brow as he smiled his approval and put the book back. "Why is that such a big deal."

"You're looking a Calvary Major for the Texas division?" Jasper said proudly. Bella noticed how his chest puffed out slightly, and a smile tugged at her lips, her eyes brightening slightly.

"Well, howdy do, Major." Bella put on her best Southern drawl, batting her eyelashes in a poor - purposefully so - rendition of Scarlett O'Hara.

For a moment, Jasper just stared at her, unblinking, but soon erupted into roars of laughter, falling back onto the floor, his head thrown back, deep, rumbling genuine laughs tearing from him easily. Bella glared at him in mock-anger, trying her best to keep her face straight, but she eventually couldn't help and slid easily into laughter, her face flushing, her eyes bright.

"God, darlin'," Jasper laughed, regaining himself slowly as Bella panted quietly, wiping at the tears that threatened to overflow. She fanned herself slightly, trying in vain to get more air into her lungs, shaking her head slightly. "That was horrific."

"I know, I know," she said, waving him off as she calmed herself down, regulating her breathing after a few minutes.

"But really, that's so rad. So you were there? Did you fight in any battles?" Bella bit at her lip to stop herself from pressing further. She knew that veterans that came back from war typically did not like talking about their time in battle. Then again, veterans that she had learned about weren't vampires who had recently killed a human.

Jasper laughed at the expression on her face, rolling his eyes, guessing the direction that her thoughts had taken when she had cut off so abruptly. "Yes, I was there, but I didn't really fight in many battles. I was more in charge of evacuating cities and communication. I would have liked to be in the actual foot army, but I was fantastic at what I did. You don't have to be afraid to ask me anything. I won't bite." Bella arched a brow cryptically, and Jasper just smiled in response. "Not unless you want it, that is."

Rolling her eyes, Bella threw a pillow at him, which he caught, almost instantly at her side. Her breath caught in her throat and she looked at him with wide eyes. A smirk on his lips, Jasper leaned down, letting his strong, rough fingers run across the throbbing vein in her throat.

"And I think you do." Slowly, he bent down so that their noses were nearly touching, Bella's eyes wide as she stared into Jasper's, much like a deer in the headlights. "Mm. No, I know you do." Monitoring her carefully, Jasper moved to press his lips against the vein in her throat that his fingers had just been stroking. Unable to help herself, Bella whimpered, her head tipping back slightly. "Oh, you do want it, don't you darlin'," Jasper rumbled against her skin. He gave her skin a sharp nip before backing off with a smirk.

Bella's heart hammered in her chest, and her eyes were safely closed, her breathing shallow. Jasper took a deep breath, trying to remind himself why he was here. Not to taunt her; he didn't need to keep that front up with her, especially if he wanted to keep in her good favor.

"Sorry, Bella," he said quietly, gently kneeling back onto her bed, stroking his fingers across her cheek affectionately. "That was out of line."

Shocked, Bella's eyes opened, doe wide as she looked at him, her head tipping to the side softly. A small smile tugged at her lips and she reached up, her fingers trembling slightly and patting them against the back of his hand. "It's all right, Jasper."

Sighing, Jasper fell back onto her bed, putting his face in his hands. It was safe, he knew, to talk to Bella. Edward was long gone, and he had been home alone, save Rosalie, who hadn't exactly given half two fucks if he had left. He was safe to talk to her. Bella adjusted herself around, gently moving to stroke her fingers through his hair, surprised at how soft it was, but keeping her body safely away from him. She wasn't sure how he would react to a hug or her body being so close.

"It's all right," she soothed again, smoothing his messy hair down.

"It's not. It really isn't. You haven't done anything to me, and I'm being a dick." He scrubbed his hands over his face, letting out a quiet growl of frustration. "I'm sorry," he apologized, earning an inquisitive look from Bella. "For nearly killing you. I probably terrified you. That day I killed the human." Bella nodded slightly, continuing to stroke her fingers through his hair; she knew he still had something to say, so she stayed silent. "I was completely out of control. I never should have done that. And then against yesterday." He shook his head. "Inexcusable. I'm sorry, but I understand if you don't want to accept my apology and you just want to scream and yell, then kick me out of the house. I'm good with anything. I deserve it."

A soft laugh bubbling from her lips, Bella tugged Jasper's hands away from his face, which, thankfully, he let her do because it was like trying to beak a statue. Tapping his cheek softly, she coaxed his gaze to her, which he reluctantly complied with.

"Jasper it is completely fine. It was, I suppose, to be expected. You had just um…'fallen off the wagon'-" She made a face at the expression; it almost made Jasper smile. "And had human blood. That's natural for your kind, and your kind is naturally violent and...stuff. It wasn't you; I could tell." With a small smile, Bella ran her fingers through his hair. "So, apology accepted."

With a broad smile spreading across his face, his eyes brightened, and Bella couldn't help but grin in response. Before she could ask if she could hug him, Jasper's strong, cold arms were tight around her, squishing him to his chest. Bella laughed quietly, her arms winding around him in return, resting her chin lightly on his shoulder.

"You give good hugs," she murmured. Sighing happily, she relaxed into him, a soft yawn peeking through her lips, pressing her face lightly into the crook of his neck. The coolness of his neck was familiar, but the scent was new. Rather than being almost sickly sweet like Edward's, Jasper smelled of a mix of clean cotton and…summer, warm and inviting. It was absolutely lovely.

"I'm glad; I haven't honestly hugged someone other than a select few in over a hundred years. And longer than that a human. It's nice," he murmured, lightly stroking his fingers through her hair. "You're so warm."

"Are you going to let me sleep now?" she asked in a murmur, a yawn peeking through her lips.

"Sure, darlin'."

Sighing gently in relief, Bella let her arms unwind from around him, falling back against the covers. With a lazy smile, Jasper relaxed back with her, gently stroking his fingers through her soft hair. For a while, she was silent, her eyes closed, expressionless, Jasper studying her profile absently. Such a gorgeous woman. After fifteen minutes, a loud rumble came from Bella's stomach, and her eyes popped open in surprise.

"Number one rule of humans," she informed jasper, "when the stomach informs you it wants food, you give it food."

With that, Bella swung herself off the bed, padding out the door and skipping down the stairs. Jasper shadowed her carefully, curiously watching her as she hunted through the kitchen.

"What do you humans eat?" Jasper asked, hopping up onto the counter.

Bella hummed as she poked through the fridge, pouting slightly as she debated on what to eat. "It depends on what we feel like or what we like. I like meat and carbs, so that's pretty broad. I eat anything and everything." Backing out of the fridge, she held a carton of eggs and a package of sausage, starting up the stovetop.

"I remember eating bacon and eggs and biscuits and gravy. My mama, I think, made the best."

A smile tugged at Jasper's lips as he slid back into a hazy memory of sitting around a large oak table with an older, blonde woman and a dark-haired, soldierly man. The memory faded just as fast at it had come, and Jasper's eyes focused on Bella's neck. Unable to help himself, he zeroed in on the throbbing vein in her neck. Before he knew properly what he was doing, he was up, his lips at her neck, his tongue against the vein, a low groan rippling up his throat. So fucking good.

"Jasper," Bella said lightly, reaching back to gently tug at his hair, which succeeded only in earning a growl from him. "Jasper." Her tone was stern, sharp, bringing him instantly back to reality, ripping his lips from her neck.

"Fuck, darlin', I'm so sorry," he said, putting his face in his hands.

A smile turned up Bella's lips, and she reached behind, lightly taking his hand. "Come here," she coaxed. Gently, she brought him close, letting his arm wrap around her, her head tucked against his side. (Shit, he was tall!) Her arm wound gently around him, letting him press his face into her hair.

"I'm sorry, darlin'," he said softly into her hair.

"I know," Bella reassured, gently giving his waist a squeeze, plopping a few sausage patties onto the skillet, smiling at the satisfying sizzling sound they made.

"I don't know why I keep flipping back and forth between a decent guy and a bloodthirsty vampire. Trying to keep the latter part out, but it's so fucking hard," he fretted.

Bouncing his thoughts off of her just seemed right, normal, like it was regular. But in reality, he'd probably said under twenty-five words to her before the incident last week. That had been put in new light. Some he was thankful for and used to his advantage, but some were confusing and muddled, and he wasn't sure what to do with them. Bella and his relationship with her was one of them. He was constantly torn between sinking his teeth into her throat and draining her, hugging her, and fucking her senseless. None of which would probably be welcome to her, except, of course, the middle.

Bella thought it over, flipping the sausages as she saw fit. "Maybe you need to find a happy medium. The other side of you, that bloodthirsty vampire, as you call it, your natural self, it's stronger now, it's fighting like hell to control you, to push away that decent guy. I can tell that you're fighting it right back. Maybe you need to let it have a little bit of control, not cage it up like you have been?" Honestly, she had no idea. It seemed, logical, though, to let it have a little bit of quarter if it was trying to take him fully.

Jasper bit at his lip lightly, thinking over her suggestion. It wasn't a bad suggestion. Hell, it was probably the best thing to do. However, what he was wondering was how exactly he was supposed to do that. "It's not as though I feel it coming on. It is sudden, like a switch being flipped. I don't know how I'm supposed to just control that." He growled in frustration.

Sighing quietly, Bella flipped her sausage onto a paper towel, patting out the grease before putting on her eggs, taking a bite of sausage and chewing, thinking over his words. "Well, then it has to be something we'll work on."

Before Jasper could respond, the front door opened, and in came Edward and Esme and Carlisle, the maternal vampire calling out Bella's name, but cutting off halfway through. Instantly, they were in the kitchen, and Bella glanced to Jasper, seeing that his guard has snapped back up, and he had distanced himself from Bella.

"Why the hell can't you just leave her alone?" Edward growled, rushing to Bella. He gripped her shoulders softly, tipping her head to either side, making sure she was all right. Grumbling, Bella pushed him away, folding her egg over, then putting it onto her plate.

"You're not the only one that wants those big doe eyes looking up at you while those soft, plump lips wrap around your cock. Not like I'm going to steal her away from you, bro. Ragin' lust. Can't ignore it."

A dark blush came to Bella's cheeks, and Edward growled at Jasper, shoving him up against the counter, his hand at his throat. Bella pressed her lips together, her eyes falling to the ground. Edward growling obscenities at Jasper, and Bella seemed to be incapable of speaking. Instead, she lightly tugged on Edward's arm.

"Come on," she said quietly. Edward growled at Jasper one last time before wrapping his arms tightly around Bella. She couldn't even look at Jasper, instead turning toward Carlisle and Esme. "Take him home," she requested.

Jasper was beating the shit out of himself on the inside. He had just gotten done telling Bella that he was being a dick, that she could trust him, and then he had gone and done that. He felt like complete shit. When Carlisle and Esme led him out of the house, he said nothing, and neither did they, his eyes dropped in shame. Their own shame was overwhelming.

Silently, Bella and Edward walked up to her room. Each time that Edward looked like he was going to speak, she would just shake her head. Once they were into her room, Bella quietly closed the door behind them, resting her back against the door, her eyes closing. Edward watched her worriedly, gently cupping her cheek, stroking his thumb against her cheekbone.

"Love," he said softly. He was still practically boiling with rage. He could not believe that Jasper had had the nerve to say something like that.

Again.

...

In front of Carlisle and Esme.

Bella shook her head, keeping her eyes closed for a moment more. Fucking Jasper. She was really fucking confused, now; she had no idea which Jasper had said that. When the front door had opened, she had seen his guard shoot up, how he tensed, but when she had looked at him, she didn't see that darkness in his eyes that she saw when he was flipping to a darker Jasper. So everything was just confusing. Had he been lying to her the entire time, lying about the different because he wanted to fuck her? But he had seemed so sincere. But then again, he was a vampire. Bella had seen time and time again how cruel, how good of liars vampires could be. Her head was just going around in circles, and it was driving her crazy. She just had to get her mind off of it.

"Bella," Edward prompted, his tone stressed. She was really worrying him, now; it had been over five minutes since he'd requested her attention, and she was still just standing there, silent, unmoving.

With request of her attention with her name, Bella's eyes popped open, irritation burning in her eyes. With two steps, she was in front of him. Pressing a hand against his chest, she gave him a light shove. Letting her move him, he fell back onto the bed.

"Bella what are you-" He couldn't get out the rest of his question because he had pretty much choked on his tongue. Because Bella's fingers were at the buttons of his shirt. At first, she unbuttoned them all slow and lazy like before she finally decided that she had had enough, gripping at the center and pulling his shirt apart. "Bella," Edward growled, mostly in arousal, but also in worry, "What are you doing?"

"Shut up," Bella snapped in response, straddling him smoothly, her knees on either side of his hips. Tossing her hair to one side, she gave him a light kiss. "Be good and stay right here." Edward went to respond, but only managed to groan lowly as Bella's lips attached to his throat, sucking roughly. Her weak human teeth nipped at his neck, and he involuntarily thrust his hips up against hers. Bella moaned against his skin. Jesus Christ.

Hot, open-mouthed kisses were peppered down Edward's chest, Bella's tongue making lazy passes at the muscles that contracted under her mouth. Just about right. See, typically, Edward would have stopped her by now; he wouldn't have even gotten on the bed, but she'd never been this forward before. He was taken by surprise and now he was completely unable to stop her, even if he wanted to, which he certainly did not. It was selfish, he knew, letting her give him pleasure before he pleased her, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Because her fucking mouth, her fucking tongue was running along the defined bulge in his jeans.

"Bella, what are you doing?" He went to push her away, but she growled at him.

"I'm going to take off your fucking pants and I'm going to take your cock in my mouth and suck you off until you cum down my throat." It occurred to Edward that he should be disgusted by her vile words, but he could only feel himself getting harder at the words that tumbled from her lips. Goddammit. He groaned lowly, dropping his head back.

"Bella, you can't," he moaned, his hips thrusting up against her hand that palmed the bulge in his jeans. His request for her to stop was weak; he wanted nothing more than for her to keep going, to feel her hot mouth wrapped around his penis. ...er, cock, as she had called it.

"Oh, I can and I will."

"I don't know if I can control myself, Bella," Edward growled, his hands flattening against the bed, trying not to grip onto anything. He didn't need to break the bed, or worse, her.

Bella took up his hand, lightly running his thumb across her bottom lip. "I'm going to show you with your thumb what I'm going to do to your cock."

She had to guide him through this. Sure, she'd never done this before, but she'd done enough internet searching to pick up some tips. Lightly, she flicked her tongue over the tip of his thumb before taking a small amount of it into her mouth. She gave it a soft suck before pulling this thumb into her mouth, sucking softly. Edward could hardly think straight, let alone breathe. If her mouth felt that good around his thumb, he had no doubt that he wouldn't be able to handle her mouth on him. He could feel his control slipping way rapidly.

He couldn't do it. Within seconds, he had ripped himself from her grip and was hurtling himself out the window. Bella stumbled on the ground, having been knocked off balance by Edward's sudden leave. Goddammit. She slowly got to her feet, shaking slightly with anger. Her phone started making little pings, a signal that she had messages. Slowly, she walked over, her hands balling into fists. She wasn't angry at Edward, just at herself and Jasper. Fucking Jasper.

Fucking Jasper who had the nerve to text her.

Darlin', please don't be mad.

Darlin', that was the stupidest thing that I've said in my entire life.

Darlin', please respond.

Darlin', everything that I was saying before they got there was true.

Darlin, for the love of ever fucking god, answer your fucking text messages.

Darlin', are you mad because Edward won't give you what you want? He won't fuck that pretty little mouth of yours like I would, will he?

Shit, darlin', I'm sorry, that wasn't me talking.

Goddammit, Isabella, answer your fucking phone.

Bella growled in frustration, tapping out an answer to his texts.

Jasper shut the fuck up. I don't want to talk to you. And no, Edward won't fuck my 'pretty little mouth'. Even offered. Almost had his pants off and everything. Fucking left. Fucking your fault. I swear to God, if I see you again, I'll try my best to kill you.

In his room in the Cullen house, Jasper was pretty sure that his heart had been ripped out. He had no idea why it hurt so much, Bella saying those things, but it did. Fucking terribly.

Darlin', I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. That was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I wasn't lying when I was at your house. I just can't control when my personality flips. Please, Bella, don't be mad at me.

Bella glared at her phone as the message came up.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Your apology is sweet,

But you're a fucking douchebag.

So leave me the hell alone.

Bella snorted in amusement to her shitty poem. The sting of rejection was fresh, like a slap in the face, and Jasper and her confusion with him wasn't helping anything. She didn't know what to believe, and she was cold and she was exhausted, but she knew she wouldn't sleep, not with her mind being so to the left side of her room, Bella shut off her phone, closing the window, locking it, then pulling the curtains. She laid on the bed, closing her eyes, her arms resting behind her head, settling in for another sleepless night.

There ain't no in-between the two sides of me.


A/N: Sorry it's taken so long, guys. It's been a long two weeks, real hectic and such, so I hope that I've made up for it with a superlong chapter. Um, I hope that you like it. I don't really have much to say at the moment.

But I did delete the blog, instead deciding on just posting the faces that correspond with characters on my profile, which is currently there for this story. I've been asked a few times if I'm going to be rewriting or continuing my other stories. The answer is maybe. I do quite like my other stories, but I do have original fiction that I'm attending to as well as this and trying to juggle life in itself, so that's a thing.

But, I apologize for being so late, and I hope you all liked this chapter. :3

Suggestions are, as always, welcome.

-Claire