TMNT= Not mine. My apologies if you read the chapter when I initially posted. Crack damages the mind, plus I just finished my exams so my mind was in no condition to pick up that there was a doubling of the chapter.


In accordance to the Hamato Law, i.e no morning can ever be normal; Don had stumbled upon a mystery five minutes after waking up. The half-awake turtle blinked blearily around the kitchen as his brain tried to sort itself out.

He glanced at Leo; his brother had the slightly vacant look that meant Leo was astral French-kissing his long distance boyfriend. Gross. On their own accord, Don's eyes drifted slightly to the right and immediately returned to Leo. As disturbing as the knowledge that an ancient ninja master was making out with his brother, it was nothing compared to the get-up that Raph's panda had on today.

"Excuse me," Don said politely as he glanced back down to the table, making sure he was seeing this right, "But how drunk was I last night?"

"You weren't," Raph muttered. He was eying his panda up in ways that told Don that under no circumstance should he go near his brother's room anytime in the near future.

Leo didn't stir at their voices. But that wasn't surprising. He had moved onto to his having-astral-sex-now-please-don't-disturb face.

"Are you sure?" Don persisted.

Raph gave a wicked grin, "Trust me, if there is booze in the lair, I would have sniffed it out. Bishop's miracle drug had a lot of side effects."

"Including a panda fixation," Don muttered under his breath. "Well, I had a really weird dream last night. I dreamed I had sex with myself. And it wasn't just one of me. There were six of us."

"Wasn't a dream, Don," Raph said, nodding behind him. "I take it just one of you isn't enough for you, Don."

Don glanced round, there were indeed five other mutant turtles that looked exactly like him scattered around the living room, all asleep. "Oh," he mumbled, "I thought I was just hallucinating them when I woke up. There are some strangethingsinmylab. And I might be a total narcissist. Anyway! The reason I was asking was because of this."

He raised the newspaper up and pointed to the front page article. Raph's eyes widened as he read the story. "You've got to be joking," Raph said, reaching over to grab the paper.

"He didn't even tell us," Don noted with disappointment, "Can you believe it? I would have loved to be his maid of honour. I mean, look at these colours. Orange, green and silver. What a horrible combination."

"Leo!" Raph bellowed, reaching over to smack his brother with the newspaper, "Hang up the phone with your boyfriend and wake up!"

"What?" Leo mumbled reluctantly, cracking open one irritated eye at his brothers.

"Mikey eloped," Raph informed him, holding up the newspaper to show him the main article, "Today's top new story was the marriage between the Turtle Titan and the Silver Sentry."


"This can't be happening," Leo muttered, furiously dialling his brother's number on their Shell Cell.

"It's all over the news," one of Don's doppelgangers noted, having just switched on the television.

Leo blinked slowly at the turtle. "There are…a lot of Dons here," he observed uncertainly, glancing about the lair. "When did that happen? How did it happen? Why did it happen?"

"Well you see, according to the Theory of Shipping, a character who's been paired with as many other characters as myself must be so sexually appealing that even I must have sex with myself," Don explained drowsily, "And just one of me wasn't enough. You know what? I'm going back to bed. Come with me, Don-doubles. We shall make a Don-sandwich."

As the six Dons left the room, someone answered Michelangelo's phone. "Mikey?" Leo asked quickly, he needed to bleach his mind of the images of a Don-sandwich.

"Hello?" the voice was far deeper and manlier than his brother. Leo blinked as he realised that the Silver Sentry was on the line.

"Silver Sentry?" he asked cautiously, hating the fact that his overactive imagination was supplying him with all sorts of reasons as to why the superhero was answering his brother's phone, "Um…where's Michelangelo?"

"You don't need to worry about your brother," the Silver Sentry replied, "I understand that Michelangelo did not inform you of our engagement, he said that he wanted it to be a surprise. But I promise that my intentions towards him are completely honourable and I shall take good care of him for the rest of our married life-"

"Is that Leo?" Mikey's voice suddenly broke in. "Dude, pass the phone over, let me talk to him."

"As you wish, Shnookums."

"Ooh you're such a charmer, Cuddlepie. Hello?"

In a swift movement, Leo shot to his feet and threw his Shell Cell hard at the wall, killing the unfortunate piece of equipment. He marched into the kitchen and glared down at Raph and his panda.

"We need alcohol. Now."