TMNT= Not Mine
Written cause I'm contrary like that. Also, because shipping can get ridiculous and I must therefore present something highly improbable.
It was not a match made in heaven.
In fact, it was a match that, by the multiverse, really shouldn't have happened at all. But apparently dimensional portal sticks were very useful for facilitating long-distance relationships and cross-species romance. That was a use its original creators had not intended when the device had originally been constructed. Indeed, it was the means by which the multiverse had been saved and that should have been the end of it. Such a tool was far too powerful to leave lying around.
And yet, lying around the lair of one mutant family, the portal stick was often left to do so. Evidently this was a family far too accustomed to the wonders of multi-dimensional travel and teleportation. When you've seen one portal to another dimension, you've seen them all, one must suppose.
And thus, because of the laxness this item was regarded, certain individuals were able to carry out a scandalous affair in secret. It lasted for several years before it was discovered. The mutant family is suitably horrified and a large amount of brain bleach was promptly applied to supress the memories.
This is how that day started.
"I'm telling you, something weird has been going on," Donatello said, holding the dimensional portal stick. "These last couple of nights, I keep seeing a bright flash and I've finally figured out that it was the stick. It's still warm, even. Someone has been using this."
His brothers eyed each other suspiciously. "Maybe Leo's been sneaking off to see his boyfriend, Usagi," Raphael offered.
"Don't be ridiculous," Leonardo spluttered incredulously. "Firstly, Usagi and I are really good friends but nothing more. Secondly, I happen to know the chants to his world. Thirdly, we're just good friends."
"So, you have been sneaking off to Second Earth to see Usagi," Mikey said brightly.
"Friends, Mikey. Nothing more, nothing less."
"You keep telling yourself that," Mikey said sympathetically.
"Michelangelo…" Leo began warningly.
"What?" his brother said, "The guy gives you the mystics chants to his world and you think that there's nothing going between you? That's the equivalent to giving you the extra front door key. Besides. He's a rabbit-person. Rabbits are sex-machines. He must be fantastic in the sack. We don't blame you, bro."
The remaining three turtles cast a look of mild horror at their brother. "You are a dumbass," Raphael informed Michelangelo. "And we are going to ignore you for the rest of this conversation."
Leonardo groaned and rubbed his face in exasperation. "No, Mikey, I have no idea what Usagi is like in the sack and I really wish you never brought that because I am going to have nightmares."
"Guys," Don said firmly, "Back to the portal stick. Who has been using it?"
"Maybe Raph's been seeing that acolyte, what's her face, Joy?" Leonardo muttered, glaring at his brother.
"Joy Reno," the red turtle corrected absently. "And no, I haven't."
"But dude, you were getting all close to her during our training. Inviting her back to the lair and everything," Mikey said in disbelief. Part of Raphael's image for him had just been forever shattered.
"Admittedly, he wasn't all the upset when we thought all the acolytes had died," Donatello pointed out wryly. "You guys realise she is in our dimension and he wouldn't actually need the stick to go see her.
Raph gave a dismissive snort. "Haven't seen her since that last time you guys saw her," he assured them with a shrug.
"Couldn't we just use the stick to find out where whoever it has been going?" Leo said suddenly. He was determined to get to the bottom of this mystery and find out which sibling had been skipping out on curfew. "Then we can work out backwards from there."
Donatello eyed his creation dubiously. Admittedly, he did not have a lot of faith in the portal stick since it defied everything he knew about physics just by existing. He was still waiting for it to fall apart on him but suspected the device remained functional out of spite for him.
With a reluctant sigh, he turned it on. "Alright guys," he said, "Here we go."
The new dimension was…more three dimensional. Clear cut and defined.
It was weird and the turtles instinctively rebelled against it.
It wasn't Turtle Prime or the world their insane counterparts had come from. This was something new, some part of the multiverse they hadn't explored yet.
"Okay," Donatello said, "This is weird."
They were in the lair, that much was obvious, though it was a lair they'd never seen before. Yet, as they caught sight of their new counterparts, gaping at them from the sofa, it occurred to them that this was going to be awkward and really, really confusing. The new turtles looked a lot younger than the dimension hoppers.
Michelangelo held up his hands. "Um, we come in peace?"
A very tall Master Splinter carefully placed himself between the two group of mutants. "That is reassuring to hear," he said cautiously, "But please excuse us if we do not take your word for it. This is our home you have invaded."
"Master Splinter! Would you believe that we're your sons from another dimension?" Michelangelo asked brightly before any of his brothers could shut him up.
"Mikey!" his brothers remanded immediately.
The other mutant family blinked. "Unreal," the other Michelangelo breathed. "Are you really me?"
"You bet I am," the dimensionally displaced turtle answered.
"Another dimension," the other Donatello scoffed, "Really? And just how did you get here?"
Don gave his counterpart a miserable and embarrassed look. "Using a portal stick made from a torch that I built with a Donatello from another dimension."
"And it worked? Using a torch?"
"I've learnt not to question it," Donatello admitted, "But between you and me, it really shouldn't."
The other Leonardo frowned at them. "But why are you here?"
"Actually, we were hoping you guys could help us with that," Leonardo replied, "We were trying to solve a mystery back in our home dimension, someone had been using the portal stick repeatedly and we have no idea who it was. But seeing that you guys don't seem to even know about the multiverse and alternate dimensions…I'm not entirely sure what is going on here."
"Never seen you guys before in my life," the other Leo said honestly. He glanced at the rest of his family who nodded their agreement. Except- "Raph?" he frowned.
The other Raphael had been conspicuously quiet. His eyes swiveled between the two groups of mutants and he'd narrowed his eyes to angered slits. Spike sat on his shoulder, chewing a leaf lettuce.
"Daaw, Raph, you've got a pet turtle!" Michelangelo glanced at his brother excitedly. "That's pretty awesome!"
"This is all your fault!" the other Raphael exploded. He was on his feet in an instant, glaring at his counterpart. "That damn thing belongs to you doesn't it!"
"What?" Raph's brow wrinkled in confusion at the finger pointed at him.
"THAT." The finger slowly moved across the room to a small ball of orange.
"…Klunk?" Michelangelo asked in startled recognition. "What's Klunk doing here?"
"That damn cat," the other Raph growled, "Has been appearing in this lair for the past two years without any explanation. No matter what we did it. Just. Kept. Coming."
Michelangelo descended on his pet with unabashed delight, sweeping the cat up into his arms. "Klunk! So this is where Ms. Fluffykins gets to when she disappears from the lair."
His brothers sighed and facepalmed. "Well, I guess that answers that," Leo said, relieved that it was a fairly innocuous explanation to the mystery.
The Raphael native to this dimension however was not finished. "That cat," he snarled, "Has been molesting my Spike!"
Michelangelo almost dropped his pet in shock. "Dude, seriously?" he stared at his cat with wide eyes.
"That animal...deflowered my pet turtle!" other Raph howled with sheer offended outrage on Spike's behalf. "It's a stalker! It is an evil, inter-dimensional, crazy, pet humper!"
"I think," Leonardo said wisely, "It might be time for us to leave. Don, the portal stick?"
"Not so fast," the other Raphael darted across the room, picked up a box and then stuffed it into Mikey's arm. He jumped back in time just as the beam removed them from existence. "I hope we never see those guys ever again."
"What did he give you?"
Michelangelo gaped blankly at the box. Klunk had squirmed out of his arms and escaped into his room with a wounded air.
"It's a box full of little cat-turtle hybrids," he answered.
Don gave his brother a flat look. "Be serious."
"I am," the box was unceremoniously shoved into Don's face.
"But, this is impossible! Cats and turtles are two completely different species. They can't interbreed. It would be like one of us trying to have a child with a human," the brainy turtle protested.
"Tell that to Spike and Klunk, cuz quite frankly bro, I don't think they care."
A/N: Well, I've seen plenty of catgirl mutant things romance the turtles, so I figure I'll jump ship with a couple of canons going at it. What? That's not weird at all, right?
On another note, Klunk in the 2K3 series is a girl but Mirage!Klunk is a boy. I have no problem shipping either Klunk with Spike...whose gender I actually haven't been able to confirm. For all I know, Spike could be female. Which would make the dynamics in this fic infinitely more interesting.
