A/N: Guess who's back? I am! Finally got a laptop (which can't connect to the internet) but still, I'm thankful. So my updates will be a hella faster now! But ya'll still remember I still have homework to do and stuff. My 18th birthday is super close. Woot-Woot Party and Lotto Tickets! Then graduation is coming up too! Can't wait to get up out of Houston, Texas! I love my city to the fullest but I need to be as far away from my mother as possible!

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Disclaimer: I own nothing but my story plot, but copy my story if you want to. I'll sue you so fast you won't even realize how fast your repossessed house paid for my college education hoe! =] anyways…

Got the name of this chapter from this R&B song my mom likes. I forgot who sings it though. I think it's either Xcape or someone else. Go look it up and tell me!

Chapter 4: Just Be a Man About

Robin POV:

I woke up in this morning in a cold sweat…again. And it's always the same dream, tossing and turning like animals in the bed. Sweat, moans, and heat filled the air. Bite marks, scratches, and hickies all over my body and hers. The sound of skin on skin and muffled screams. But no matter what different positions and setting is in each dream, they all end the same. She straddles me, leans down and whispers in my ear, "Its only lust".

The thing I hate the most about the dreams is that I know what she is saying at the end is true. Raven doesn't love me. She would probably say that she is unable to love because of the force restriction on her emotions, but I know its all bull. She doesn't want to. Raven is truly a creature of the night. I consider myself one also, but I'm just human. She's half demon; love is something she probably doesn't need to survive like most creatures. She can take lust and leave love on the side, and be perfectly fine; she doesn't need me like I need her. I'm not calling her heartless because she's so far from that, but I don't want go spill my heart out to her and she looks at me, with the expressionless face that can make a body builder shutter and say "It was just sex, a hormonal reaction between two people and nothing else." She would walk away and leave my heart in pieces. Simply because in her book, emotions are weak and since that's all I have for her, undying emotions, which would make me weak; she would never accept that.

So to keep that from happening, when she woke up the morning after the best night of my life, I wasn't there. I didn't stay and pull her body against mine like I wanted to. As much as I wanted to let her know how much more I felt for her after we climaxed that night, I couldn't. What we shared that night wasn't just sex or at least for me it wasn't. That was true love going into each kiss and thrust that whole night, but I don't know if that applies to her too; if every gasp was one of strict pleasure or a little more. I won't ever know because I refuse to ask her.

So now I'm stuck pretending; pretending that every time I see her, I feel nothing. I have to keep pretending that my only interest in love is Starfire and no one else. Poor Star, I love her, I really do. She's beyond gorgeous and she can charm any man with her sweetness and naivety, she has such a huge heart and I just can't express how much I feel towards her. And the best thing about her is that you will never have to question yourself about if she feels the same way because she shows me everyday how much I and everyone else in her life mean to her. That's just Starfire and she loves me with all her heart and even more. I mean, who would turn down super model alien princess that acts like that? But even though Star is a bright foreign beauty, I find myself more drawn the darker exotic goddess, Raven. There are some many things that Raven has that Starfire doesn't. Beauty is not that case. Raven is beautiful in a mysterious and unique sexy way. I still don't understand how she gets "out shinned" by Star when she is just as stunning. But actually since Raven's and I um… meeting, I've been catching more and more men looking at her. Every time we go on missions, the villains flirt and try to grope on her. Then after the battles it seems like the number of fan boys multiple by 10 every day! I hate it so much. Those violet eyes and full lips, and her curves that are noticed from people miles away; all of that is mine and no one else's to take advantage of.

I took out my detective journal and started to scribble down my thoughts. I have to figure this out; I need to see it on paper.

Tuesday March 13:

I don't think that I can keep pretending any longer, I can't just hide all these feelings from her. I'm going to slip up again like I did today. "Ugh, what the hell is wrong with me?" I thought out loud to myself. Today was, today was a mistake. There's pretty much nothing else to describe what happened just a few hours ago other than that simple word. Attacking her and almost decapitating her with my Birdarang? I can't apologize for that. My senses are so sharp that any type of unusual sound or flicker or a shadow is condemned as a treat; strictly instinct. Now what I did after I pinned her down and almost took her out, a billion apologies probably wouldn't satisfy Raven, or any other female either. I violated her; she told me to stop and I didn't. Oh God, I probably would have been castrated in another country for that!

It was like I was a totally different person! I know how cle-shay that sounds and I bet ninety percent of criminals have probably used that line in court but there's no other way for me to explain it. I looked her directly in the eyes right after I realized who I just pinned down, and after that all these emotions clouded my mind but the strongest one and the leader of the pack was desire. I had to have her, right then and there, in the middle of the hallway, less than 15 feet from Star's room, even if she gave me permission or not. Every time she spoke up, I'd cut her off and told her that she wanted this. I think I was trying to convince myself that was true, even though it sounded like I was trying to convince her.

My hand slid up towards places on her body that I've only been once, but dreamed of thousands of times. I was up her thighs; her smooth moonlight colored skin tingled under my touch and I was just inches away from my final destination. I looked in her eyes again, not knowing what to expect and her eyes screamed anger and disgust. Is that how she really felt towards me? Was she disgusted by me? Well I wasn't giving her a reason not to be at that current moment, but what about before then? Did she only see me as her one night stand? And now I'm acting like that sprung guy from the club that keeps calling and you can't get rid of. It can't be, there has to be something more! I can feel it deep down and I see it in her eyes, or is that just my imagination? I want it so much that now I'm becoming deluded. How could she just dump me to the side? Did she expect me to just forget about this? No, she expected me to be the professional team leader I'm supposed to be and not let this continue or interfere with our team dynamics because we both knew team member relationships were wrong in the first place. She's being responsible and acting like an adult, I'm the one who's just seating her acting like a love struck teen. If I thought she wasn't talking to me before, she really won't acknowledge my existence now.

Then to make matters worse, not only do I have to fix a huge hole in the hallway, the two people that came through that same hole (Cyborg and Beast Boy) caught me on the floor on top of Raven with my hand halfway up her thigh. If this could have gotten any worse, Slade would have come through the wall next. The only thing that came to mind to say out loud was "This isn't what it looks like". Second dumbest thing that could have slipped out my mouth other than "I was almost finished". The only good thing that came out that whole ten minutes was me not having to explain the situation I was caught in because Cyborg let his mouth over load his ass. Raven eyes turned red, which was my queue to leave, but Beast Boy was way a head of me, he was closing the door to his room by the time I turned around to start escaping, that boy is good. I guessed he's pissed off Raven more than enough times to know the pre-signs of a demon overload. The whole situation was terribly embarrassing, plus I know I can't avoid giving an explanation to both Beast Boy and Cyborg for too long, since we do all live together.

Well Beast Boy may not be that hard. Not to call him incredibly stupid but… he's incredibly stupid. I can come up with some excuse about us sparing in the middle of the hallway and falling, and then I could say I was swatting a bug that landed on her leg. The green goof is gullible enough to believe the story and if not, I have enough blackmail against him to have him doing anything I command for months. And if all else fails, Star's pudding of sadness, will shut him up for good. I have plenty of ways for BB. Now Cyborg will be a tad bit of a challenge. He's about two-thousand pounds of metal and electronic gadgets and an extremely short temper; scaring him off with simple tactics is out of the question. And to make matters worse he's like the big brother of the house, and I was pretty much caught fondling his little sister. Cyborg 2 Robin 0. So the only other alternative is to chat with him face to face, what a scary thought.

I closed the Journal.

I swear this whole situation is testing how much of a man I really am. Batman wouldn't even have been in this situation. All his "lovers" were cut off as soon as he was finished with them that night. The Dark Night had a strict "No Strings Attached" policy that he applied to every relationship outside Alfred, Barbara, Detective Gordon and I. But I can't do that. Sure I have put a quick one in with a few girls every once in a while and didn't think twice about them the next day but that's different. Actually only about three girls; the first one was coming on to me like crazy at a teen club the team wanted to party at, and I decided that I was too old to be a virgin (I was only 14 though) she was an older fake blonde about sixteen, so I took advantage of the situation, I was scared out of my mind though and I don't even remember her name. The other two times was just out a sexual frustration; both about 7 months apart and I just needed a release. The first girl Ivory, was your typical party girl looking for an adrenaline rush. I had on all black, my shades and was on my incognito bike which was also all black. She has the rocker look with spiky shoulder length hair with a blue bang hanging down, and she had a petite figure that reminded me of Argent. I guess she assumed I was a bad boy and was looking for some danger (how wrong was she). I took her for a ride at about 90 mph and at that point she was about ready to throw herself in a bed for me, which is what I needed. We rode back to her place, took care of business and I left before she woke up in the morning. The second girl Maylene was a sweet one, I wasn't particularly looking for a "good time" but this one kind of fell in my lap. I was riding around the city incognito again trying to burn off steam. That was the day my Red X idea turned into a disaster. I passed by an alley when I heard the typical damsel in distress scream (Starfire has it down packed). Two thugs were tying to steal her purse but she was putting up a fight. She was screaming innocent. She was a lean figure with long brunette hair and huge brown eyes, deep dimples, and light freckles covering her nose (such a turn on). I took the thugs down easily and she was so thankful she had to "return" the favor, right there in the alley. I use to regret that I didn't get her number but I got over it. Now a year later, Raven is on added to my list.

I reopened the Journal,

"Even though Raven was far from the first girl I had sex with, I was very much a virgin in the sense of making love and I hope she was too. Does this make me less than a man; because I can't put Raven in the back of my head like I did with the other girls? Am I less than a man because I basically forced myself on her today? Real men don't do that, and they aren't scared to face other men about something they did wrong, like Cyborg. I just need to be a man about this whole situation.

I closed the Journal one more time and laid down flat in my bed "Just be a man about it", was the last thing I remember before drifting to sleep, where my dream version of Raven awaits me.

A/N: The Journal entry date is my birthday he he. Should the next Chapter be Robin or Raven POV? How ya'll like this chapter? Don't hesitate to spill your heart out in a review answering both questions! Remember to follow me on Twitter and Tumblr. Can I get 12 Reviews Please? I know you all can do it. Also PM me with some of ya'll ideas about were this story should head because I'm totally lost lol. Till Next Time PEACE!