See Ch 1 for disclaimers…
The escalating ring of Jane's mobile phone drilled into Maura's head and she lifted her free arm to cover her eyes with a groan. Against her shoulder she could feel Jane stirring, felt her curse into her skin, mumbling something about being old enough to know better. Licking dry lips, Maura tried to swallow to relieve the dryness of her mouth but it was of little use. Jane's phone signaled a message. A sleep laden voice was warm along the surface of her breast. "There had better be a very good reason my phone just rang with the BPD ring. I'm not on call and I'm off for the next few days." They lay there still for several moments, until Jane shifted closer and burrowed her face into the crevice made by the side of Maura's breast and her arm, her words sounding muffled. "I don't want to move, my head might split open. It's too early. What time is it?"
With a deep steadying breath, Maura turned her head enough to read the bedside clock. "Not very early actually. It's a little after 9." Shifting slightly she took inventory of her body. There was a pleasant twinge in her thighs, a lingering sensitivity between her legs and her shoulder was stiff from Jane's weight but these were all welcome sensations. Her head throbbed slightly and her mouth was thick and dry. Not welcome, but not unexpected and would clear with some ibuprofen and water. All and all, she'd had more than her usual to drink last night but nothing that would make her day difficult.
A soft, pained, moan made her look back at the mess of dark curls. Jane on the other hand would likely spend the day with a bottle of ibuprofen and a shortened temper. Suddenly her own headache intensified as Angela's note from last night came flooding back. Hung-over Jane and a tree decorating party. Maura rubbed her temple firmly and groaned. Feeling eyes on her she looked down at Jane and met bleary brown eyed concern.
"Are you okay?" Jane put her head back down but continued to look up at Maura. Sometimes it surprised her still when they woke up like this. It wasn't every night, but often enough she'd wake up to find that somehow they'd rearranged while they slept and she'd wake up in Maura's arms. The first few times she'd been surprised, not sure what to make of it. Eventually she decided not to analyze it too much. It felt secure, warm and somehow she fit perfectly in the contours of Maura's body. It was her safe place.
"I'm fine, but you are going to have to find some patience today. I don't know if you remember but your mother is hosting a cookie and tree decorating party tonight." Maura took Jane's growl as answer enough and reached her free arm over to hold her close for a moment. This was her favorite way to wake up, but she'd never let Jane know. It was validation that no matter how Jane acted when they were awake that subconsciously she knew Maura could take care of her. That she would safeguard her and be the strong one through the night. It mattered even more in the morning that she never moved away. That Jane accepted her strength and welcomed her protection. Maybe it was the lingering intimacy from the night before when she'd spent hours needing to feel Jane on her, needed to feel her inside her, but the up swell of emotion caught her off guard and Maura swallowed thickly. It seemed so simple on the surface but it gave her a sense of security in their relationship that she had never had with anyone else before. They belonged together.
Knowing she was delaying the inevitable, Jane finally sat up and reached over to her nightstand, grabbed her phone and listened to her voicemail. "I have to go in for a teleconference that Cavanaugh set up. Our serial rapist was linked to some unsolved cases in Texas thanks to the searches Frost set up. Apparently the girlfriend was correct that they'd been through there." Jane ran her hand through her hair, getting her fingers tangled in the ends. "I need to run a few errands anyhow so this is as good a motivator as any. Christ though, it is so much to ask for a day off?"
Maura sat up and moved over to sit beside Jane, resting her head against her shoulder and smoothing circles along her back. "You would be more upset if he didn't include you. Sean knows you." She kissed the bare skin by her lips. "I'll get ready and come with you if you'd like?"
Jane reached for Maura's hand and brought it to her lips, enjoying the delicate play of bones under the surface. "No, please don't. Not because I wouldn't want your company but you've been pulling double duty for days." She let out a sigh and dropped their clasped hands into her lap. "Besides, I need you to babysit Ma. Make sure she doesn't turn this little tree decorating thing into a big tree decorating thing with half her adopted family from the BPD."
Maura lifted her head quickly and faced Jane. "She wouldn't?"
Jane snorted. "Are you new? You do live here full time with her. Sometimes I wonder how you can handle living with what is basically your mother-in-law all the time. I worry about your boundaries." Jane flinched lightly realizing she'd used the term mother-in-law. Now that she knew she had the ring her mind already had them married.
"She is a little like that, isn't she?" Maura dropped her head back down again with a happy sigh. "I love your mother."
"One of us should." Jane jumped at the pinch at her waist and then groaned when the sudden movement made her head pound worse. "Bad Dr. Isles, no torturing the injured." She looked down as Maura resettled. Maura did love her mother. Maura loved her and her family. She had even looked pleased when Jane had called her Ma her in-law. For a moment the need for information burned at the tip of her tongue.
"You love your mother." Maura turned and pressed her forehead against Jane's shoulder knowing she was going to move in a second and already hating that the moment would end.
Jane smiled, ran her hand down Maura's back, memorizing the touch for later. "I do. I love you both." The need for information lingered, the questions burned but she could always ask later, without distractions hovering. Satisfied with her decision to wait, Jane carefully untangled her fingers and sat up more, letting Maura shift away before standing. "Okay I'm going to get ready. The sooner I get done with work, the sooner I can bake cookies and decorate the gargantuan tree in your family room."
Raising her eyebrows Maura narrowed her gaze. "12 feet is hardly gargantuan. We saw much larger on the lots and if you make fun of my tree I won't let you help decorate it."
The haughty tone made Jane roll her eyes. "Most people do not have 12 foot trees and I have my ways of convincing you."
"We're not most people and I think you are starting to get a big head. You may want to reevaluate your inclination to challenge my fortitude this close to Christmas. Santa might leave you rocks instead of presents. He might even take back the ones you got to play with last night."
Jane chuckled and then squeezed her hands against the sides of her face as her stomach lurched. "Don't make me laugh, my poor brain can't take it and it's coal Maura." She pulled her hands away to look at the smug expression staring up at her. "But I think you damn well knew that." Jane couldn't help but reach down and kiss her forehead. "As for the rest, fair enough. You know I don't like to have my toys taken away. You are certainly right that we are not most people and the tree is beautiful."
When Maura woke again she was surprised to see the time. She hadn't meant to fall back asleep but the minute she had let herself curl back under the duvet her eyes had become heavy and sleep found her easily. She could hear noise coming from downstairs but she couldn't make out who it was. She focused her attention for a moment. Angela she suspected but Jane's voice did not seem to be part of the mix. She grabbed her phone off the bedside stand to check her work email and noticed she had a missed text message. Noticing the name she smiled brightly and opened it up. Reading it sent a thrill of excitement through her. She quickly texted a request back before scanning her work email and getting up to get ready.
Making her way downstairs Maura smiled at the site of the large stately evergreen dominating the room and partially blocking her view of the kitchen. Angela's voice carried easily and by the tone and animation she wasn't surprised to see her talking to TJ as she dotted kisses on his open palm. Lydia was laughing as she added a cup of something into a mixing bowl.
Lydia spotted her first and stopped mixing the contents of the bowl in her hands. "Hi Maura. I was starting to wonder if you were okay up there but Angela told me you guys had a late night."
She could feel a delicate blush creeping over her skin at the images that flashed through her mind but Maura managed to smile lightly. "It was. Jane and I were out after work for drinks after choir practice."
Angela looked up from where she was pretending to eat TJ's fingers while the baby laughed hysterically. "Oh I didn't think it was so late when you girls came home. I heard the moment Jane saw the house lights loud and clear." She bent her face close to the baby's. "Your silly Uncle Frankie didn't realize that that box of extra bulbs were the ones that turned the strands into blinking lights. Grandma already told him he needs to change them."
The delicate blush deepened and Maura could feel the heat on her face. If Angela was awake when they came home but still aware they'd had a late night then that meant only one thing and she wasn't going to consider the how. She scrubbed a hand against her heated cheek and avoided looking at Angela while she went to fix herself a cup of coffee. "Please don't make Frankie get up on a ladder with all that snow. Christmas is almost here and I already told Jane this last night and I mean it. I love it. I honestly do. We'll fix them before we decorate the house next year."
Angela dropped the baby's hand and handed him a large mixing spoon to hit on the counter, flinching lightly at the first bang. "That's going to be loud, but I'll do anything to keep him strapped in that seat while we get all these recipes mixed up. This is when I miss Jane being around, she'd be happy to get out of cooking to go play with him."
Lydia nodded as she slipped her bowl under the kitchen mixer. "She's very good with him. Now that he is finally walking, it's all I can do to keep up with him. And to think I was worried when he wasn't walking by his first birthday. If you hadn't calmed me down Maura I would have been in a panic."
Sipping at her coffee, Maura was glad for the quick change in topic but her head started to throb again with the enthusiastic banging. "Well developmental milestones are only a guideline and TJ was walking by 13 months. If he was delayed at 15 months I am sure his pediatrician would have recommended early intervention."
Angela saw Maura's wincing and swapped out the metal spoon for a rubber spatula. "Well he doesn't take after his father that is for sure. Tommy was on his feet and walking at 9 months old. The neighborhood ladies couldn't believe it. There was this chubby baby on his feet, toddling down the street. He was so active I used to spend hours just following him up and down the block." Angela shook her head. "Always trying to keep up with Jane from the get go." Her apron pocket buzzed and Angela pulled out the phone and answered it asking the caller to hold on. "Okay girls, I have Santa Claus on the phone so I'm going to step into the guest house for a minute. Maura honey, that bowl I'm working on is the Chocolate Crinkle cookies. Just pick up the recipe from right after the sifted flour."
Lydia watched her leave. "She has been waiting for a call all morning. I wonder what she is up to."
Maura shook her head. "I've learned never to ask that question. I am not comfortable when I cannot understand something and Angela Rizzoli is beyond comprehension. Sometimes I find it easier not to even start to speculating about anything that involves her logic patterns." She moved to her cabinet and pulled down a block of baking chocolate. "So how are you? Jane mentioned that you're dating someone new."
Turning her finished dough out onto plastic wrap, Lydia divided it into four equal balls and wrapped each one up. She took her time placing them in Maura's refrigerator while she thought of exactly what she wanted to say. "I am. It wasn't something I was looking for. Not really anyhow, but Mike is a kind, good, guy. Very reliable." She turned around to study Maura, ready to defend herself if necessary but found only quiet understanding looking back. She let her breath out in a rush. "Is Jane upset?"
Maura shook her head. "I don't think so. Perhaps a little sorry for Tommy but I think as long as you are happy and TJ is treated kindly she doesn't have a problem."
Lydia picked up her dirty bowl and moved to the sink. Grateful for the chance to talk with her back turned. "He's wicked good with TJ. I think I fell for him when he spent an entire night letting TJ hold onto his fingers so he could walk around the living room. You know, I really think TJ started walking because of all the time he was willing to do stuff like that with him. It kills your back you know, leaning over like that."
Maura nodded. "Not an optimal position to avoid strain on your lower back."
Lydia poured soap onto a sponge and put her energy into scrubbing the bowl. "I'm so damn tired most nights. It's just me you know. Tommy tries most of the time but we don't live together and I know when he's tired he stays away. Then he can just go to bed. I can't. I have to still take care of TJ." She started rinsing the soap off, watching the water chase the bubble in rivulets off the sides. "Mike's job is pretty physical too, like Tommy's. He's under cars all day. Works overtime when he can get it. So he's tired too. But even tired, most nights he shows up and plays with TJ for hours while I make dinner and set up for the next morning."
Maura could hear the part of the story she wasn't saying. That Tommy didn't do that. Didn't try like that for her.
Lydia grabbed the dish cloth and started drying the bowl off. "I love Tommy you know. I love Angela and Frankie. I love you and Jane. You have all been very good to me." She pointed to TJ who was starting to fuss against his restraints. "He will always be a Rizzoli. I wouldn't have it any other way but..." Lydia took the bowl, clean and ready for the next batch. "But I needed a clean start. Mike only knows my history like a story. He wasn't part of it and it doesn't bother him. Tommy on the other hand can't seem to commit. One day I realized that perhaps the reason he couldn't do that is he can't move away from the past. But I can and with TJ I don't have a choice. I'm ready and Mike is willing to give that to me." Lydia straightened up and stared at Maura. "He wants that, with me. I haven't told anybody yet, but he asked me to marry him. The ring is in my pocket, I wanted to tell Angela first."
The speech and confession caught Maura off guard and she realized the chocolate she had been melting over the double boiler was liquid and almost too hot. She removed the bowl and stirred the mixture quickly, cooling it slightly before mixing it in the dry ingredients, watching it all bind together. Contemplating everything, Maura stared at the completed dough. When she finally looked back up she could see Lydia was tense as she stiffly measured out ingredients. Maura realized she needed to say something. Maura reached over and touched her wrist. "I understand." Lydia looked at her hopefully. "I honestly do. Congratulations." She hesitated to ruin the moment but needed to ask. "You don't think that it is a little sudden to agree to something as serious as marriage?"
The formal tone made Lydia tilt her head and stare at her for a moment and Maura wondered what she was seeing as she rolled balls of chocolate dough and dipped them in powdered sugar. Finally the other woman shrugged her shoulders.
"Depends on what you call sudden. I don't see any point to waiting. I've been dating Mike for like 8 months now. He's over most nights. I told Tommy a couple of weeks ago that we were serious and he said he was cool with him. I hope he understood what I was saying at the time, but I am not sure he did. That was before the marriage proposal. I told Tommy about it this morning. He seemed okay." Lydia measured a few teaspoons of cinnamon into her bowl. "I was with Ray off and on for two years and all I learned the longer we were together was that my first impression that he was an asshole was correct. I just didn't think I could do better." Molasses poured slow and thick into the mix. "I just have to trust my instincts and experience. I'm not the same person I was before I ended up pregnant. I'm not even the same person I was when I had TJ. I think all those mistakes made it real clear what choice was correct for me and for TJ. Saying yes to Mike felt right."
When Lydia turned on the mixer again the noise made it easier for Maura to not reply and instead finish loading the trays of chocolate cookies in silence. Was it really that simple? For TJ's sake she certainly hoped it was. With Garrett there had been formalities to their engagement. It had not been without love, infatuation and romance, but it also had not been a blind jump into the unknown. Consideration had been taken of every step before they made it and there had been irrefutable logic in their formal union.
Maura carried a loaded tray over to her oven. Not that their formality had changed the outcome. For all their care and due diligence in the end she and Garrett had still had broken the engagement and the quiet condolences and thinly veiled confusion over their split had haunted her steps for years. Hurt her for years.
Lydia on the other hand seemed willing to simply take a chance without analyzing every angle and outcome. She only knew that he was a good man that loved her and her son. A person that wanted to be in her life at night when they were both tired after working all day. So when Mike had asked her to choose him, Lydia had simply listened to her heart and said yes. Just like that. With everything that had happened to her she still was able to simply say yes.
TJ took that moment to finally yell his displeasure at his lack of freedom and Lydia rapidly released the straps holding him in and then stood around staring at Maura's house. The guest house she was familiar with, but here it was white and clean. "Everything around us is breakable."
Maura looked around, trying to see what Lydia was seeing. It was just her home. This house had blinking lights and a messy kitchen. It had baby proof locks on cabinet doors and breakable knickknacks moved to higher shelves and Maura didn't even have children of her own. There was a coffee stain at the edge of her area carpet and the couch cushions had been professionally cleaned more than once. It had a little more wear and it was a little more lived in than if she was here by herself, but it wasn't breakable.
Maura shrugged lightly. "Not everything. This place has survived the Rizzoli clan so far. Put him down, it will be okay, don't worry." Lydia still held onto TJ and the little boy arched his back and yelled something that was suspiciously close to down. Maura smiled and walked over and placed her hand on Lydia's shoulder. "Please Lydia, let him go. He's family, he's welcome here." It warmed Maura to be able to say that, to offer that reassurance to someone and she meant every word. They both watched a triumphant TJ find his balance and move off with blooming toddler independence.
Both of them turned when the back door opened and shared a quick look as Angela's voice carried into the room, calling out to TJ as he squealed and tried to run from her. Maura leaned closer. "Lydia, bring Mike by tonight to decorate the tree. I'd like to meet him."
Lydia nodded and pulled the ring out of her pocket, slipping it on. It was time.
Maura gave her a small smile of encouragement, watching her walk over to Angela who was pretending to chase a stiff legged TJ around the coffee table while he screeched at the top of his lungs. Lydia started laughing and when Angela noticed the diamond on her hand as Lydia made a pretend grab for her son, she heard Lydia explain in halting words. There was a brief flash of what Maura thought was disappointment over Angela's features before she reached out and scooped Lydia into a big Rizzoli-style hug.
At that moment Maura envied Lydia and as she set the timer on her stove, she realized she could learn something from her as well.
A/N – This chapter is probably one where it would be easier to understand if you've already read WTBB but I couldn't figure out a way to write this differently and technically this is a sequel so :) Yes more song clues because that is the real mystery under all this. I'm going to guess with this chapter you can all see the end in sight, and it is coming…. But on the road of life even a highway has it's turns … I bet you'd all be really worried if this was an agsty fic. It's not ;)
Happy New Year!
